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This is a great post. My husband and I have guests over far too infrequently. Why? The post above is really helpful in getting at the reasons -- not feeling prepared enough, not having a really well thought out hanging out space available, not spontaneous enough to issue on-the-spot invites, and a bit too lazy to plan out more formal affairs. Gets me thinking and hopefully out of this slump .... Thanks!

My boyfriend and I have people over almost every weekend, and a good friend of ours drops by for dinner or just to watch tv almost 3 nights a week. It's really great because before we moved in together we both lived with lots of friends and our homes were always places to gather...
We're never ever formal about having people over. Our house is your house, if you are too afraid to ask for something then you'll go without. We like to keep a relaxed atmosphere and we've only tried to entertain more formally for family which is a battle, but worth it.

I used to entertain constantly. One awful guest after another made me stop completely, 15 years ago. I mean AWFUL. Manners. They're wonderful. People should try them out. Give them a spin.
I had elegant sit down dinners that guests did not show up for. Or showed up 2 hours late for with a McDonald's bag in their hands. Or came with 3 strangers who then robbed this guest's purse. Or who came to visit from Europe acompanied by a friend w/o asking first, and then left the friend w/ me for 2 weeks while they went to see their family. Or declined my invitation because they had a date, then called at 5:30 the day of asking if they could bring their date and were shocked SHOCKED when I said no, I'm not running a restaurant. Not one of these guests ever reciprocated, not being cooks I never expected them to do what I had done. How about taking me out for a coffee? Nope. I have hung up my apron. Our home cooked gourmet feasts are enjoyed a deux. In peace.

We have guests very often.
Everything from our close circle smoking joints and watching So You Think You Can Dance to higher-class cocktail and dinner parties.

My partner is very easy-breezy about all types of parties. I, on the other hand, like to be organized, have a plan, decide on a signature beverage, create a party-specific playlist - the whole shebang. I've learned to chill out a bit, and he's learned that a good party doesn't just happen, it takes careful planning and execution!

great post... but you definitely don't need a good TV (or any TV at all!) to entertain, AT.... you know this! If my guests are watching TV during a dinner party, then something must be wrong...

I would say, on average, every two weeks or so. More in the Summer and less in the Winter. Typically for cocktails and/or dinner.

My husband and I have friends over just about every week. We have had as many as 15 people over in our tiny 600sf apt. There is a reason I have so many chairs.

a TV, as a basic need? If you need a TV, then your party's going badly. I'm with closertotheocean on that one. Good conversation, however, is a must...and that just comes from a willingness to listen and to share.

How often do we have people over? Probably once a month once the fall hits. It's just too chaotic with two little people, two full time jobs and everything else to make it happen. But when we do, we have a great time. And we usually try to invite people with little people...it's easier and everyone understands why you can't all ever be at the dinner table at the same time!

I think the TV thing depends on what kind of party you're having. Obviously the TV stays off for a dinner or cocktail party, but TV watching parties are great fun. My friends and I get together about once a week to catch up on trashy TV (dance shows and VH1 reality travesties), drink, and just enjoy some laid back company.

I totally understand the sentiment on the TV being not a need for a party and I agree as well on that, but I think they were meaning if you are planning a gathering around a ball game, then that's one thing, but to have it be the entertaining medium at a dinner party, um, no.

I don't entertain at the moment but hope to have the opportunity to and when I do have friends over, unless watching a movie, it's music of the CD or vinyl variety playing instead.

Every night without fail. Some nights we just lock the doors for privacy, but generally our house is open-door. I always make more for dinner than we need because my husband's friends always pop in and our brothers as well. I wouldn't have it any other way, really.

The best parties I ever did, at my place or at friend's, were those that were nearly improvised : having a cup of coffee on a terrasse, deciding to eat together at my place the very day, stopping quickly at the supermarket to buy food, a bottle of wine, lighting a few candles and there you go. When everything is prepared too much in advance I'm almost always dissapointed.

I'd also like to know what kind of gatherings most people have (or have most often). I rarely "entertain" - in the sense of a fully orchestrated and executed dinner party or, for that matter, even a throw-down party-party - but I have people over for dinner and drinks quite often. Or for brunch.

It's interesting, though. The formality scares me a bit - I'm always afraid that something I've planned won't "go," but have no qualms about asking a few friends over for dinner an hour before eating. I know the informal parties will always be fun - even if someone's gotta drink their wine out of a jelly jar - but I never really count them as "having guests."

A long time ago I prepared an evening in advance like this. I placed nice books on the coffee table for decoration, and everyone ended up reading in silence... guess that's not much better than the TV thing....

every single Thursday night, at least. We have a group of 10 that comes for dinner, drinks, and lots of conversation-- we simplify by keeping our house (relatively) tidy, dividing up food responsibilities, and having wonderful friends who love us even if things are a little messy or chaotic.

often we don't get a choice... partners parents call and say they need a place to crash after a party in our town and they are bringing food for breakfast... so i end up hosting them for breakfast AND for however long after that they decide to stay... not horrible but suprising...

2-5 times / month. in addition to the good tips in the post, and seconding the "signature beverage" comment (better to have a pitcher of one good drink than try to mix a diff drink for each guest), what also helps are:
- big galvanized bucket for beers and sodas/sparkling water (keep on hand in pantry from costco!)
- cooking family style. casseroles are awesome (shepherd's pie or a baked ziti in the winter, paella or pasta salad in the summer).
- for meals on the fly, grill meat & veggies and serve pita bread from the store as a carb. 1-2 awesome pesto / chimicurra/ salsa will unify the menu and give it a punch
- ask guests to bring the dessert (sorbets or ice cream bars for a simple meal)
- 'parlor games' also great for conversation, rules need not be strictly adhered to (ie "death is not an option")

If kids count, we have guests often, and often at a moments' notice. And then, of course, their parents are often here as well. I couldn't be happier about it.

I love to keep a snappy house, I love to cook, but for some reason--I HATE to entertain guests. With the exception of infrequent and informal gatherings of one or two close friends or family members--I never do dinner parties! Maybe it's because of too many years in the restaurant/catering business--but I get very uncomfortable at the prospect of being a hostess.

I used to entertain all the time when I lived in an huge old Victorian mansion...man I miss that place! Now I just don't have the space :(

I want to be friends with Theserovingeyes and Partner!!!

Everything from “come on over, we'll order pizza and watch Dexter,” to family visiting for a week, to out of town overnight guests, to new year's brunch for 25, dinner parties for 8. We love to have people over. It's also an EXCELLENT excuse to clean the entire apt. So, we're now trying to have people over at least 1x every 2 weeks ; )

When I lived alone, I entertained a lot more frequently than I do now. Of course, then I lived in a suburban area and was a lot more accessible. I had both good and bad experiences with having folks over -- not enough bad to deter me from doing it again.