apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

YES!!!! I bought a used (but in perfect condition) C&B Petrie WHITE couch. Worst, idea, ever. The buttons keep coming off, and the whiteness is getting grimy and grey, and I'm always scared to spill on it. I should have gotten a cheaper, not-white couch. It looks like crap.

I would say often and we all have these feelings sometimes.

The only way around it is to never ever think of other options after you have made a decision. (If you figure out how to do that, let me know...)

To sort of quote someone else...I've had plenty of mistakes, but few regrets.
Home decor mistakes are easily fixed. A poorly chosen couch, put a great tappestry over the thing. A rug in the bedroom that won't match your dream curtains; move the rug to another room or sell it (same for the bed). The point is, fix your mistake and move on if its practical. Live with it or cover it up if it's not practical. It is, afterall, just stuff.

I bought a sofa for my den last year - From the little swatch in the store, I thought it was going to be bright red...
...it turned out to be closer to a Raspberry.

Rather than get upset, I have learned to love it and when I had draperies for that room made, I specified a lining in a similar color to the sofa.

I think we've all been there, but your home is a work in progress, and you know that you'll eventually need or want to replace things and change the look. I would advise against buying anything now to use in a few years -- who knows what you'll be into then. But also, don't live with anything you truly hate. Sell it or transform it!

Definitely, a couch dilemma as well. But it's funny, I went in the other direction. I was planning to get an off-white leather couch, because my other living-room furniture includes a dark-grey/dark-putty leather Eames chair - a custom color. (Leather for the couch, by the way, was selected because the cats don't attack it.)

Then my partner convinced me that off-white would be too light, and we wanted to avoid really dark colors like black and espresso, so we got a slate-grey couch. Now it turns out, the different greys are too close in range, yet not close enough. The couch's dark grey has a blue cast. It really drives me crazy. But both pieces were a major investment, not cheap at all. I don't think we'd be able to sell either one for what it's worth, and again, the dilemma remains. A white couch is a bit too much for me... But what to do?

The solution? To move the Eames chair to another room, someday. Any other ideas?

I am so incredibly fickle. I buy and sell things on craigslist monthly and try not to buy big-ticket items. I have probably lost a ton of money in the exchange but at least I'm not adding more stuff to the landfill.

I think everyone gets those feelings...

It comes down to the old "what could have been..." - the option you dont choose will sometimes look more attractive in hindsight because you still see it in the raw, idealized, unblemished by reality form. It is something I find myself falling victim to all the time in life (not just home decor!).

Just try to remember both sides have their ups and downs!

Although I must admit, when I am split between two home decor options I feel a lot less regret if I go with the cheaper of the two. When I splurge on something I end up often being more disappointed when it falls short of my expectations. And on a similar note when something cheap exceeds my expectations i feel even better about it (obviously!).

That's so funny, b/c I saw the C&B Petrie Chair and ottoman on sale in white and really wanted to buy it, but then I remembered how clumsy I am and why I stopped by buying expensive white shirts.

I had a problem where I bought a great brown rug which fit my decor. Then soon after I had to relocate for work, the lighting in my new place is too dark for the deep chocolate rug and draperies, Now the decor is much lighter and I have this great expensive rug that I can't use until I move someplace else.

I wish I would have waited to buy the rug, since I knew moving might have been an option.

spiralcma, there is upholstery cleaner for couches. Google it, and give it a try. You can even make your own.

we JUST (ok, ok, it was only me who made the mistake) did this. with a bright, regal-blue oversized quilt that can't be returned and was a chunk above the price limit. oh well, the dog seems to love it, and at least it's warm. learn to love it until it's time to replace it (or until we get a second bedroom with a guest bed).

i think a lot of times i get the "must redecorate NOW" bug, and am slowly but surely learning to be more patient.

I bought a DWR bed after seeing it on AT and doing some research, but the quality (of mine, at least) was terrible, especially considering its price. I lived with it for a couple of years before getting rid of it on Craigslist -- and I felt so much better even with the mattress on the floor. I kick myself for not purging it sooner. To echo fabframes, don't live with things you hate -- and I grew to hate that bed.

Some ideas:

Tear up all reminders of the path not chosen.

Calculate in some self-justifying algorithm how many months/years you can live with this current design and then promise to save-up for the next redesign...

Sell your "mistakes" on Craigslist for a *firm* price such that you feel comfortable eating the loss and just go for the redecoration.

Interior design is like fashion, it always goes from one extreme to the other. Like skinny jeans and bell bottoms...
or dark teak wood to all whites and lights. The change is quicker in Fashion, usually every 6-9 months it changes. In interior it takes 1-3 years to switch over to the extreme opposite.

If you are into trends and change, I wouldn't do large investments, instead shop at retailers like IKEA, West Elm or CB2. This way you could afford a make-over every 2-3 years.

My wonderful husband decided to surprise me and paint our bedroom when I was out of town. He chose one of the green samples that I had hanging on the wall and was deciding between. I had decided on one and taken it with me to find bedding. He ended up picking the completely wrong green, I brought home the bedding and they clashed horribly. I gave him the choice of repainting or getting different bedding. I have lived with the paint for 5 years now. It still isn't what I would have picked, but his actions were thoughtful and I made the best of the situation.

The problem with decorating your own home is that there are limitless possibilities -- and the more options you discover, the more you might prefer those newer, fresher options (or at least want to give them a go). For me, I try and work with what I have (or around what I have), but keep the idea in the back of my head (or in my decorating files) for future use and just remind myself that just because I don't have X, doesn't mean that Y can't look great, too. It just requires a little creativity.

Have I made mistakes? Expensive mistakes? Mistakes that I saw coming from a mile away? Have I lived with them? Never! I don't tolerate suffering very well. With me, buyers remorse is just as a big a problem. I love so many things that no matter whatever I buy, I'm bound to find something I like better. I have no quams about dumping the old and bringing on the new.

Life is far too short to live with anything that doesn't add joy. As someone said, it's just stuff! If I change my mind about an item, I chuck it, even if I lose money. My feelings are far more important than money. Besides, they'll always make more money... ~:o)

But I do not buy extremely expensive "status" furniture. I'm not the type of person to cherish an Eames chair for decades. I know that I'll be bored with the look in two years tops and on to something else. To me design is disposable. Not that I dispose of it. I love giving to thrift shops so those less fortunate can "find" the rare treat. It makes their day.

My only serious regret was not giving away my beat-up metal bed frame years ago. The bedpost knobs were the same height as my hips, and because I'm klutzy, I spent years bumping into them. Now that it's gone, my bruises have finally had a chance to heal.

since she specifically states that there's nothing 'wrong' with what she chose and that she just keeps thinking of an alternative, it kind of sounds like she just likes the fun of redecorating. plus, it's easy to become obsessed with having the newest and 'best'. in our throw-away culture, we're taught to never be happy with what we have, so we constantly question our choices. buyers remorse is nothing new. it can also stem from a lack of confidence. by making major purchases, especially in something visual like decor, you're making a strong statement about yourself. a person then become nervous about how others will judge them, and questions their choices.

perhaps make a list of everything you like about what you have and focus on that. then, if you want, focus on small changes you can make to what you have. make a list of specific things that you don't already have and only shop for those. if you already have curtains, don't continue to look for them!

just don't get caught in the trap of never being satisfied. you may regret the rug because of curtains that you think are wonderful now, but what would happen when you got rid of the rug, bought the curtains, and then fell in love with something else that didn't mesh?

and don't buy the bedding. you might be sick of it in a few years when it's 'justified'. buying unneeded things with no plans to use them in the immediate future is a symptom of shopping addiction...

(and p.s., the expression 'sour grapes' refers to disliking things because you can't have them, as in 'that couch I can't afford is probably uncomfortable anyway', not when you simply want something you don't have. 'the grass is always greener' might be a slightly better phrase here. not to be nitpicky... ;P )

I'm feeling so much better hearing everyone's stories! I don't feel like such a dolt for not getting everything perfect on the first try. Anyone want a spa-blue rug from room & board? ... I'll be visiting the classifieds soon!

All the time. For some reason, I just can't seem to get it right. I'm on my third dining table. I promised my boyfriend that I wouldn't buy any more tables! I don't buy really expensive stuff, so I guess that's one consolation. Oh well, I guess Goodwill and the Humane Society are benefitting from my poor decisions!

Yeah, I've had plenty of "what was I thinking?" moments. Fortunately, almost everything in my house is vintage (USED!). It's always been that way. I love the hunt and am always trading out. If something doesn't work, I just sell it and move on. If I find a dining table I can't live without, I just sell the current one.

That is one good thing about vintage... The 5-year-old Pottery Barn sofa may not get much interest on craigslist, but the 50-year-old sofa will sell right away. Or, you'll be forced to sell the brand new Pottery Barn sofa at a loss, whereas the vintage stuff often gains value -- you can' t beat that!

(This is a sickness, I know...)

I have SUCH a problem with this! OMG!

My only solution is to buy ALL neutral furnishing and decorate with colour and such. I also only shop at Ikea and Freedom (and similarly priced stores) for furniture and the odd designer piece that I MUST MUST MUST have. I never regret those.

"Doing my bathroom floor in astroturf seemed like a good idea at the time..."

After my husband had by-pass surgery, he talked me into PLAID La-Zy Boy couches. Not only are they massive, they are hideous. I still have one I sit on with a beige slip cover. It will leave in the spring---he promised. He has since moved on to a much better looking Barcalounger. Compassion is overrated.

I had such fond memories of literally climbing into bed as a child that when it came time to finally upgrade our mattress, I passed on the low-profile split box spring. Turns out, with a 14" mattress, that's a huge mistake. Now I'm struggling to find a bed with a headboard high enough not to be overshadowed by the mattress.

On the other hand, everyone swore I would regret my 96"-long, 44"-deep eggplant sofa (aka the Purple Monster). How wrong they were.

I have a similar problem, but with paint. Paint can be hard to get right, as we all know. I have learned that *liking* a color and *living* with a color are two totally different things. My husband thinks I am nuts! I've painted my living room twice since we moved in two years ago and am still not satisfied. Granted, paint is not a big financial investment and is relatively easy to alter, but man....I am tired of painting!

I wonder if anyone has the opposite problem? I have an almost 10-year-old futon couch that I feel socially-pressured to change, but that I actually like. I can change the cover at whim to match my mood, it's a comfortable and practical bed for overnight guests, and it's a comfortable no-stress couch for daily life with pets. It has clean lines and goes with the rest of the Scandinavian vibe we've got going. I have been looking at couches for two or three years now, but everytime I think I find one I sort of like, I start thinking about the cost and what would happen if it turns out I don't like it when it gets home or it doesn't wear as well as the futon. Whatever is out there never is as flexible as a futon. It seems a shame to change something that works for us and that doesn't even look bad, just because it's not fashionable for the moment!

Arroyo has the answer. It's a sickness and a wonderful, creative one at that. I do the same thing with almost everything in my house. In and out. Drives my pack rat husband crazy.

I tend to do this with decorative tchotchkes - a lot! I buy so much junk that's hard to get rid of. (Like the, in retrospect, freaky looking pictures of Venice featuring people in elaborate carnival costumes. I can't even sell them on Craigslist, and they weren't *that* cheap!)

freneticfloetry - I also have a beloved monster, a 96" long, 44" deep burgundy sofa. I worry about getting it through the door of a new apartment (chronic renter, here), but once it's in - ahhhh! No regrets on that one!

I have such a fear of making the wrong decision that I hem and haw forever and always live in an almost-empty space.

Grandma's credo: for major purchases like a sofa, buy the best quality you can afford, only what you really love, & keep things in good repair so they'll last. Change up the accessories if you really need a decor fix, and if possible, make, repurpose or trade instead of buying. Our additions: thrifting, flowers from the garden (or when I lived in Brooklyn, branches from the maple trees the City tree trimmers planned to toss). And unless the item is a true find and really sings to you, walk away and think about it before opening your wallet.

I bought a bed off Craigslist that I disliked. I thought it too weird, the headboard too tall. But my husband loved it and I grudgingly said yes. When we brought it out of the seller's McMansion and into our home, I couldn't believe how unique and elegant the bed looked in our context. By the time we could afford to change it, I loved it. I moved to the Midwest recently, and we decided not to take any furniture. I called my best friend and she said, "But you're taking the bed, yes?" And so we did. It looks beautiful here, too. I hope it never falls apart.

We recently paid a huge sum of money for new cork floors for our home. We chose a cream color to brighten up the space, which looked somewhat dark because of the mahogany paneling. The small cork sample looked beautiful. The whole floor of it turned out to be too light. I obsessed over this terribly, but the floor is not something I can easily replace. When the furniture and the rugs went in,the result looked great. In the future I'll get a bigger and redder rug for the living room, and it will be perfect.

I tend to fall in love with my choices eventually.

and paminboston--just tell the critics (including your inner critic ;-) that your futon is a prime example of eco-chic. You like it. It works. Nuff said.

I built my own home and hate a few of my choices. It was my first time. I wish I hadn't put all the cable cords running above my fireplace for my huge flatscreen. So tacky. I am going to have it professionally installed in a couple of months so there are no cords though.

I hate my carpet. I think I want more of a hotel type instead of a shaggier type. I also hate my tiled bathrooms. They were expensive. The grout I chose was a light white. It shows dust, dirt, everything. They just look filthy. I cut my leg shaving one day and bled all over the place. Those are the three things that I am going to eventually fix. I can live with all of my other choices. Building your own home is not for the inexperienced. Listen to the flooring people's advice. And get an electrician that knows what they are doing.

It sounds to me like you are still figuring out what you want the room to be. The first, biggest, most important step in decorating a room is deciding what the finished result should look like. I learned this the hard way. I did my living room in a very piecemeal manner and sort of figured it out as I went along. It took yeeeaaaaarrrrs. Like ten. It was an education fraught with lots of regrets and frankly, it will never be what it could have been if I had approached the whole project differently.

Having learned from that mistake, I approached the bedroom differently. All of the big pieces were decided in advance before anything was purchased. Everything was measured out, swatches were compared, wood stains were compared one to another, costs were calculated and recalculated, and then I drew the whole thing up on SketchUp. This took about a year. Once I had committed to the idea, and felt like I had really considered my options and was comfortable with the choices, I broke the purchasing into 3 waves of approximate equal cost. As each wave was installed, I always found things that could have been better. I also discovered "happy accidents" - things that were not as planned that I ended up liking better than the original idea. Given this new information, I adjusted my choices for the next wave. From first installation to final installation was another 18 months. Even given all of this, I still have some regrets and am making some relatively minor (but still costly) changes to bring the room more in line with my original vision.

We once wallpapered a room brought in the furniture hated the look and painted it over the next day.

mamaspank..you made me laugh..hahahah..i just pictured a little mad scrunched up face..with your HATED home..stuff..hahahahh behind you in the background.. i don't know...it's hysterical!!!!

I'm an addict and I admit it and live with it. I have learned to accommodate my affliction.

Downsized a bit in past year and consigned (and successfully sold) stuff that wouldn't fit in new, smallish 1BR - including a few pieces of art that weren't my favorite. Much more careful about what I buy now because it's a hassle to schlep it around and as observed by many, hard to get the money back (unless it's antiques, in which case you absolutely can make money when you sell, I have many times). Also sad to part with what you've loved!

Now I only invest in stuff that will last - yes from a quality perspective but more from a design durability perspective. This morning took for reupholstery back cushions from 7 year old Walter Knoll (which I think I paid $6K form, yikes). The Maharam fabric cost me $100 on eBay and the upholstery is $140, money well spent, I think. Sofa still looks wonderful, just needed a tweak to update (and keep me loving it).

Also shop a lot at "cheaper" more design forward places like Ikea and Target. Have bought a lot of great duvet covers at Ikea for about $35 the set. Often have the "hot" color of the season so I feel like I'm not getting stale (I do the same thing with fashion and H&M). Use them til they wear out and then dispose of or replace in clean conscience. My dogs live in the bed so it's important not to over-invest in case they decide it's time for a chew break on the new shams.

Have realized my design scheme really needs to let my art collection be the star, which leads me to neutrals that all coordinate. Liberating to finally have a smaller "box" to work within. Experiment with color du jour via throws and pillows.

I am more relaxed about my approach now. I feel it serve me rather than me serving it.

I think it helps to be able to clearly envision your choices in place -- I occasionally buy a small table "on spec", at the flea market for $5 -- because why not? I can offload it later for a profit if it doesn't fit in. But for major purchases, I can almost always decide what is needed before shopping and not be seduced by other things along the way. It makes life so much easier!

Moving from one house to another with a different layout can cause aggravation, though. Our sofa (chaise longue at one end for me, recliner at the other for him) that we ordered custom a few months before we decided to build just doesn't fit in the new living room quite as we had hoped. But it's really comfortable, still "new", and we are still fond of it -- so we adapted and changed the planned-on-paper room layout to accomodate it. It's working out ok. We will probably eventually get something different, but no hurry.

J, in case the split box spring didn't clue you in, I too have something of a spatial wiggle room problem (third floor unit, with half the last flight of stairs inside my front door - literally results in a 180-degree turn in a five-foot wide space). I had to hire specific movers that could haul my Monster onto the roof and in through my bedroom's (thankfully completely removable) picture window.

There's still a little voice in my head that says it won't be going with me when I leave - I often fear that they'll have to take a chain saw to it to get it out again.