I can't do it!

meh...no biggie, I have a dog walker. she's there everyday without me. I try to keep any "unmentionables" put away but it's difficult to live your life and to have a presentation worthy house. I'm sure she's seen some crazy stuff, I just try not to think about it.

I feel better about having someone I trust stay over when we are away than having it empty.

If someone's staying in my house, it's someone I know I can trust or someone one of my friends has vouched for. Haven't had a problem yet.

I've had couch surfers, international students, friends, family, friends of friends, friends of family, and just about anyone who I have some information about stay in my house without feeling weird about it. I suppose as long as I have a way to "track" someone in case something gets stolen (or whatever) I'm okay with it.

I find it's an easy way to learn something new every time and become familiar with a new culture.

It absolutely varies with us. We have one friend that has stayed for a week at a time and we just gave him a spare key - he's self-sufficient and anything I don't want him to see is put far, far away. He can feed himself and keeps the bathroom tidy.

But I have had family members stay for a couple of days and drive me bonkers - whenever I leave they're washing two things on hot in the laundry (we only run full loads and usually cold) and then freaking me out by telling me the hot water heater must be broken when they've all just done laundry and had showers. I love them all but they are not good guests.

We haven't had anyone stay alone in our place yet without us, but really, what would we have that they haven't seen before? Everyone wears underwear (we hope) and unless you're into some crazy sh*t why be embarrassed or worried about what someone else will think?

it's not the stuff they'd find, it's them burning the apartment down, letting out the cats, etc.... it's just my brain runs on worst-case-scenarios.

I haven't had someone stay overnight in my home with out me but I have had friends come and check on things and care for my cat while I have been on business trips. Like @Juliescript said, I always make sure its a close friend or someone I trust who gets a spare key to my apartment when I can't be there.

When the housesitter was a friend I thought likely to snoop, I left amusing Post-It notes in the places he was most likely to explore. Never did find out if he read them or not...

No way would I do it.

I don't have people I barely know stay with me in my home...
...and if they find something "embarassing" in a cabinet or drawer they have no right to judge because they shouldn't have been snooping!

The only problem I have had has been with real estate agents coming in. Altho I posted nice signs reminding them there were 2 cats in the home and to not close any doors if they have opened them as the cats might sneak in where they would be shut in a closet all day----these supposedly intelligent, caring people did just as they pleased and one of my cats was locked in where he wasnt to be.
Also they locked an extra lock in the doorknob which I never locked and in a stressful moment I was locked out and had to pay a locksmith to rescue me.
Not to malign a certain group of people but they arent my favorite.

alone with our stuff? mah, whatever. alone with our cats? that's a bit tricky - i'm more than a little obsessed with whether or not the windows and door to the balcony are shut properly (we live on the 18th floor, so even a screened window gives me pause).

i'm a pet sitter for a locally owned company, and i go into people's homes all the time without ever meeting them first, even staying the night.

i don't know how they feel about it, but sometimes it's weird for us too. people have left really personal stuff all around, had completely messy apts and homes, once a guy even left copious amounts of pot lying around. most of the time it's no big deal, and the animals are always glad to have someone there with them, but i tend to bring my own blanket and pillow and just sleep on the couch.

Well I for one totally snoop when I'm left alone in someone elses apartment. I just can't help myself, I really can't be trusted.

I was a pet sitter once apon a time and usually people kept their homes neat and I always minded my manners.

The only weird thing was a couple left out their trunk of "toys" in plain site.

I feel like if they have already been in the apartment, then having them there by themselves (as long as you're not worried about them stealing, etc.) isn't an issue. They have already most likely made any judgments they are going to make about you based on your home. I guess there's the thought "what if they start looking through my photo albums, old yearbooks, find love letters, etc." but hopefully you've put anything that you really don't want them to see out of reach and hopefully they aren't the type who goes looking through the bins in the top shelf of your closet looking for something juicy.

That said, I definitely relate to the "what will they think of ___", but I am way more concerned with that if I have acquaintances over. Decor is so, so personal... even when you put a lot of thought and time into your home, another person's taste might be totally opposite yours. If they are into Danish modern, what will they think of my eclectic collection of antiques? And having it LOOK like you put a lot of thought into your home makes me even more self conscious. When they know how much time I think about this stuff, will they think my taste is even worse? But I guess it's better not to think too much about it and realize that your home should just be for you, for all those reasons.

I 'm not too worried about friends, but have not gotten a dog walker/sitter because I worry about strangers having a key to my apartment.

If someone's gonna snoop at my personal things, then they deserve what they've got coming.

Seriously.... I allowed someone to stay for a couple weeks once, and by the third night it was a nightmare that wouldn't end. I came back one night, and he moved a couch that in turn knocked over a bookcase and broke a statue ("dude, I don't know HOW I did that"), and a few days later, I TOLD him to make sure he had the key I entrusted him with....a few hours later when I was a couple hundred miles away, he calls, asking where I am, followed with "dude, I don't know WHAT I was thinking of, I thought I..." "I CAN'T HELP YOU" I cut in and hung up on him.

The real bitch of it was that when I got home later that night, he's inside, watching tv, and all I said was "how did you get in...." him: "Oh, uh...I had the key."

me. "...."

AND, in between all of that, he wouldn't shut up about secret societies and the illuminati.

Lesson learned? Don't take pity on co-workers siblings, EVER.

Hmmm. I have not much to worry. All my 'private' stuff is locked away in a vault in my locked closet. Portable electronics (slr, ipod, kindle, laptop), jewelry, and money is in that vault. Heck, I don't think you will find a single dime whatsoever any where else in my house. So I have no worries with people snooping around and finding anything embarrassing or of value if they were to house sit for a couple of days.

yep, next week the boyfriend is staying over (he's from out of town) while i work during the day. i can't wait to see what he finds/tries to find while i'm out of the house. should be interesting for the both of us...

but, other than that, i HATE knowing that people have been in my house when i'm not at home. it feels like a weird invasion of privacy (even if it's the landlord and she's got a key)... that's my place, those are my walls and my stuff in there. no one (except the bf) allowed w/o me there.

Aaargh! I just had a "friend" who stayed at my place for a few days surfing on my computer while I trooped off to work every day. After he left, I figured out that he had helped himself to an $800 wad of emergency cash I had stashed away and rarely inspected (I keep it in case of a big earthquake). An expensive lesson learned making me unlikely to leave anyone besides blood relatives alone in my place ever again...

I just cover the tantra chair, and I'm good to go...

I have a friend that feeds my fish for me. She knows all my dirty little secrets. That being said, I don't have any incriminating evidence or naughty drawers, so I don't really mind if people go through my stuff. Only embarrassing thing really is that they'll find I alphabetize my CD's (which, incidentally, I'm about to dispose of).

I've had friends come and stay over with my animals.

Most of the time I've never been concerned. If I'm trusting them with my furry ones then I think quite highly of them.

I do get nervous though. One of our dogs loves to run...out the front door and around the neighborhood. We've gotten really good at not leaving doors open or her in the backyard too long. Sometimes I think a house sitter just isn't going to be quite as paranoid as myself. So far so good though.

In fact, a friend is staying over with them tomorrow night while we go out of town. No worries at all. (:

This is among the stupider AT posts, but I'll bite.

A lot of people here seem to be assuming that Abby is refering to a friend in the sense of a buddy, perhaps one visiting from out of town. A little circumspection, even in your own home, isn't a bad thing... ie porn on the coffee table is tacky even if you're home alone. If this is a good friend, then hopefully he or she respects you enough not to go poking through your closets. If they're weirded out by something they discover in the bottom of your sock drawer, then you probably don't want their friendship anyway. If this friend is just an acquaintance whom you have offered the spare room for the night, out of the goodness of your heart, then who cares what they think of you? The fact that you're generous and hospitable will offset any eccentricites displayed in flour storage or feng shui.

Some other commenters are assuming that Abby is actually refering to what a pal of mine euphemistically calls a "naked friend". In which case, I'm sorry, but WTF? Here's a lesson for us all: if you don't trust a person, then DON'T SLEEP WITH THEM.

Also if ever there was a post that didn't need the royal "we", it's this one.

I stayed at my son and his brand new wife's home to watch their Yorkie's while they were on their honeymoon, and it felt odd the first day, but after that I made myself at home in the sense that I'm have to stay busy and I couldn't help myself; over the course of 8 days I deep cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, washed and dried several loads of laundry, mowed the front and back lawn and on and on...but the last day I panicked, thinking his wife might think I was criticizing her cleaning habits and decided to tell them it was so they could relax when they got home. The dog's seemed to enjoy my company and the newlyweds were more appreciative than I expected, so it worked out fine. I wouldn't want to housesit for anyone I don't know real well but it seemed to work fine for close relatives.

i often have friends over to take care for the cats. i don´t feel relaxed when prepairing everthing for them as i want to make everything perfect. i try to make everthing really tidy and clean, try to organize everything so the can find what they need. i buy huge amount of chocolate bars, nice soft drinks so they feel welcomed and write long lists with instructions and "what to do just in emergency". so i am totally exasted when leaving, but i never think about my guest when finally away.

I was having some extensive work done on my house and had the carpenter run off with a bunch of supplies; he took my house key and garage door opener; seemingly nice guy and he had been working in my house for several months without incident.

I had my house re-keyed for suprising little (12 locks for under $150, basically a regular knob and a deadbolt on each door). The locksmith gave me one lock with a "contractor's" key option. This lock has a subset of the main set of tumblers. In other words the contractor's key can only open the one lock yet my key can open all locks. If I have to give someone a key I give them the contractor's key. I leave the deadbolt to that door open while they need to get in and closed at night when I'm home. If they should "lose" the key I can have the same locksmith come out and re-key only the contractor's lock with a different sub-set of tumblers and still keep my main key.

How awesome is that?

@Motherbear I would be kind of offended if my boyfriend's mom took it upon herself to clean up our apartment but that's just me. whenever i am in the kitchen cooking she always makes little comments about how she chops garlic, seasons meals, etc. I'm like "ok thanks" and just continue to do my own thing.

as for leaving someone in my apartment, i couldn't do it. i don't care if it's my brother, mother, sister, cousin, or best friend - people are snoopy and sneaky! my boyfriend & his friends got drunk during the week (they work for an airline and their days off are midweek, i work mon - fri), and his friends had the following day off but both myself and bf had to work. his friends left their cars at the bar and wanted to stay over while we were at work. oh, bf rides a motorcycle so he couldn't take them to get their cars. i flipped out for 2 hours before they agreed to leave when bf left in the afternoon to work, and they would find something to do in the neighborhood until i came home from work (around 2 pm) i ended up getting sick in the morning anyway and they didnt have to leave but they left anyway and told me they had a ball walking around manhattan beach ;) they came back to the apartment with food for me and another 12 pk of beer.

the thought of someone alone here with my things is kind of unnerving! tl;dr

I'm planning to switch apartments with someone from SF for a weekend that I have not met in person. As far as I can tell from the pictures of their apartment, they have as nice a place as we do and seem trustworthy. I will be putting my most beloved jewelry and my laptop at my mom's, but there's nothing else that I'm afraid to lose/have ruined.

I don't mind people finding weird things, because they most certainly would. I would just be stressed they would do things the 'wrong way' (ie. not like my partner and I), like let the cats out, put their shoes on my grandmothers vintage sofa, play my guitar, put the non dishwasher safe dishes in the dishwasher, etc.

Yeah, I'm paranoid.