I find that homes are like friendships that ebb and flow, you go through good times and bad, love and frustration, excitement and boredom, but if you find one you know deep down is truly special you buckle up, hang on, and hope to ultimately learn what life lessons it has to teach you.
Each home I have lived in has taught me something new: from learning to fill, scavenge and decorate the three floor townhouse in Las Vegas, to purging, organizing and keeping clean the 400 square foot box in Santa Barbara, to creating space and entertaining solutions in a small duplex with no kitchen or dining table in Los Angeles. Through all of these and many more I have struggled to find solutions to my home's quirks and obstacles, but have come out victorious with more knowledge, creativity and confidence to tackle the next one.
And now that my husband and I have bought our first home, I am forced to learn the ultimate lesson for me: patience. When we got this house, built in 1919, my friend told me that it would teach me patience and it would be good for me. I knew she was right, but it totally scared me cause I can't live in chaos and unfinished spaces and wasn't sure if I'd be able to adjust. I am usually a work work work, don't sleep and get it all done within a week of moving in kinda gal, but that is changing.
A quickly finished living space is impossible now, and I have plans that will take days, weeks, and years to accomplish. My motivation has completely shifted from needing to be quickly settled to slowly making this our home. Two months in I still have boxes in every room. I still have lots to be painted, things to be built, furniture to find, walls to be created all the while documenting as I go along. I have gone against my grain and have slowed down. I not only have to be patient I actually want to be and it feels good. I want everything to be just how I envision it and that isn't going to happen overnight and I'm ok with that. This is a very new way of doing things for me and can be frustrating at times, but as I wake up in my nearly empty bedroom and walk down my half painted stairs with three-quarters of a hand-rail through the living room with mismatched curtains, unfinished walls, no side tables and zero art on the walls into my kitchen and step over the pile of wood, passed the broken drawer to where I have almost finished paneling the breakfast nook, a smile spreads across my face and a sense of peace and happiness fills me as I turn around and feel gratitude that this home has taught me a new way to be.
What life lessons has your home taught you?
(Image: Vinyl Sticker by Urban Walls)
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Well whatever it has to teach me it's not slapped up on the wall in trendy font. That would be way too weird.
In that house someone is entirely TOO self absorbed.
My house has taught me something I knew but kept hoping it wasn't true -- that I am better off doing the work myself than hiring someone else to do it. Because even if it takes me weeks longer to get it done, at least I care how it turns out. I hate paying for mediocre work.
The house rules decal thingy -- I sort of like it, but I also sort of feel like it's smug -- "we're real up in this house, so all you people who aren't real like us can suck it" -- but maybe it's just the ALL CAPS.
My house has taught me that an ounce of prevention is easier than a pound of leaky water pipes. (This is, I take it, self explanatory.)
It's taught me that things that look pretty may still be a huge pain in the ass. I have a tree in my backyard that is gorgeous. It was part of the reason I ended up going for this house. But it also drops sap all the time, drops seeds and leaves which brings a lot of bugs, and shades up so much of the backyard that I am struggling to figure out where to place my garden.
It's taught me that living with a place is important for figuring out how to decorate it. I've changed the arrangements of the great room (living/dining) several times in an effort to get it just right. I'm getting closer. But the Great Plan I had prior to moving in was disastrous. Slow and steady design is the way (for me) to go.
And it's taught me to water my lawn very regularly to avoid disaster. My previous place had in-ground sprinklers and so I could forget about it. I am now trying very hard to save my lawn from complete death. Actually, I guess this lesson could be about procrastination. This house has taught me that procrastination carries with it bad consequences.
@Parnassus - That's so true. Of course, there are some things that, no matter how hard you want to do them yourself, you are better off finding a professional. I admit that I will never be an electrician. I am enjoying home improvement projects, and it's really helped me change my way of thinking. When I encounter something difficult I think "how can I fix that?" with an eye on doing it myself or finding a good solution, rather than "how much will it take to fix that?" I find that fixating on the financial aspect of home improvement or repair can keep you from seeing the forest from the trees.
My old house has taught me that I can demand perfection and attain it but time has a way of undoing it.
"We do really loud." What?
@HCL, haha I was wondering about that, too.
Before painting your platitude on the wall, be sure to run a spellcheck.
I like "we do really loud" emphasis on the do. It describes my family perfectly.
Wow, it's funny to me how negative everyone is about the meditation on the wall.
Not to mention that the meditation is about the RELATIONSHIPS between the people living in the houses, not the houses ... so using this as a spring board to talk about what you've learned from houses is, well, weird.
First, "we do REAL LOUD" is poetic license, like "we do color" or "we do spicy" or "we do quiet" -- in other words, we aren't just loud, we don't just do loud, we do REAL LOUD.
We live life big bold and LOUD!
Second, platitudes are trite and meaningless. How many cynics among you haven't wanted a second chance after you behaved badly? or screwed something up -- a dinner, a DIY project, a chance to be kind?
This reminds me of the Desiderata, which I think we could all use a little more of every day.
Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
@urbancricket: "Avoid loud and aggressive persons..."
So I guess we should avoid these homeowners and their "poetic license" (lol) since they are admittedly, real loud.
That wall was making me dizzy because my eyes wouldn't stop rolling around in my head while I was looking at it.
Learn when to leave the party. Know when it's time to cut your losses and sell. Some homes are simply bad buys, and if you aren't happy there after two years of residence, you are unlikely to be any happier after six years and multiple renovations.
My house teaches me that some people shouldn't design or build houses. Seriously stupid design choices going on here! Luckily it also teaches me there are usually easy, if not always cheap, workarounds or solutions to other people's idiocy. Many lessons in what not to do are now firmly implanted in my mind. When I build my own place I'll be much better equipped to "presolve" problems.
Hey Rural and Rueful, I finally get your name.
My house has taught me to save up for what I REALLY want instead of buying a second-best alternative or a cheap knock-off. I am on a tight budget but when I buy something I like less than the item I had my eye on I just end up regretting it and replacing it - spending more money in the long run! Took me a while to learn this lesson but now I wait until I save up for what I really want. And it's always worth it in the end.
I've seen that quote all over Pinterest. The sentiment is fine but plastering it on a wall just screams, "I'm really anxious about not being perfect, even though I have obviously stenciled this quote perfectly!" It's a total humblebrag.
That said, I second @P.RYAN129-- saving up for what you really want instead of spending a lot on things you can live with will make you happier in the end.
Also, we have learned that it's worth it (to us) to leave some things to the pros. Neither one of us has the mentality for a big long, disruptive project, and we know this now.
I generally find the Deteriorata far more relevant to my life:
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.....
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!
Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss.....and when!
Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE.........do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for "Ken."
Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be---
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.
GIVE UP!
Seriously though, after living in the same house pre- and post- renovation I have learned the value of working plumbing, insulation, HVAC, and windows that are not about to fall out of the walls. I learned that ignorance is bliss when it turned out the pre-renovation house was basically structurally unsound, but that actually turned out for the best since it meant I got a whole new higher ceiling for the first floor and a level second floor. The pre-renovation house was such a shambles we were lucky it wasn't condemned, but now it is a place I don't have to be ashamed to show people. I also found out what an amazing difference a skylight makes, especially when you can watch the clouds passing overhead while taking a shower. I also found out that having a heated floor in the bathroom doesn't really work nearly as well as having an actual heater. In the winter, the floor has to be left on all the time and the room is still freezing so what's the point?
My home does not define me but maybe I just don't get this post.
I am right in the middle of being schooled by my house. I would say it has taught me compromise. Eight foot ceilings, flat roof line and the 1970's cannot be taken out no matter what I do or how much money I spend. I have also learned that as much I think I hate this house, secretly, I love it for the memories I've made here. We are considering selling and suddenly, I hate to leave the place where I fell in love with my husband and started my family. It's a fugly house but it's a wonderful home.
I’ve learned that at some point, in the middle of any project, the entire thing will strike you as ill-conceived madness. And you will start to question your choices, decisions, layouts, plans… And the only option is to just keep going. A nice metaphor for life too, but I’m applying it to the kind of self-inflicted craziness that comes from deciding to rip out a giant section of your front lawn to build a raised flower bed… and the feeling you get of looking at a now-barren patch of dirt surrounded by hacked-up grass, and the sinking feeling you get at the realization that it does not look like the magazine photo in your head.
I can relate to this article. I feel the pressure to have everything "just so" in our new apartment in a new city. I just love it so much that I want to do it justice, whilst staying on a budget. Timely read for me at least. I think the wall is great!
Wow...Its just some positive words on someones wall, and so many people have made opions, negative at that as to what people put these words there. I think its great, and like someone above had mentioned its not about people outside of the home, but more a reminder to one ones in it, as sometimes we all need a little reminder.
@Victoria Elizabeth, well said!
My house has taught me three very important life lessons:
1. Patience is a (essential) virtue
2. Perfection is a(n) (unattainable) myth
3. Priorities are a (changeable) requirement
So much like love...
In terms of the physical/aesthetic aspect of a home, a lot of people live in certain homes/apts that they live in because they can't afford to live in their dream home just yet. So it's hard to say what their homes are teaching them other than we still can't afford to live where we want to.
In many ways it is just bricks and mortar. But emotionally and memorably, my house has taught me that it is only as good as the neighbours it is next to. You can have a dream house but if you had a bad neighbour, it's easy not to want to live in it anymore.
It is so easy to be critical and snarky on a blog comment when we aren't seeing each other face to face. I think it's nice that the homeowners wanted to have a reminder on their wall of how they want to live. "We say I'm sorry, We give hugs, We have fun, We forgive, We LOVE...." Geez people, stop being so critical!!!! It's not like the wall says "We are greedy, We are critical, We HATE really loud..." Come on! Whether or not we choose to put it up on our wall is a different choice but geez, so many negative comments!