Earlier this week, AnnaMaria shared a story about buying original artwork as a couple, and asked our readers for thoughts about purchasing original artwork. I have also bought my fair share of art with my husband, especially when we are traveling — pieces that we both love and are able to easily display in our home. And then there are those other pieces…
Unfortunately, despite our ability to pick out art together that we both love, we seem to have an equal knack for picking up art separately that fills the other with loathing. The steampunk painting I bought at a show that my husband despises. The pencil portrait he picked up at an auction that makes me cringe. The textiles he bought me overseas that I want to lose in a move. The photographs I bought him that he hides in a drawer.
In each case, what we face is a matter of taste, and the dilemma of how to address those taste differences in our home. I don't want to only hang the art that we choose together, but I also don't want to have to look at that pencil portrait every day! As we work our way through the last of the moving boxes (yes, it has been months), we are hitting up against the hard decisions of where (and whether) to hang these contentious pieces.
Though we have each taken some of our favorites to hang at work, those office walls are only so big and so we are still left with choices to make. I would love to hear what others do, folks who came into relationships with art they love, folks who bought art for a significant other only to realize beauty so often is in the eye of the beholder. How do you decide which art to hang and which art to hide? Do you get rid of pieces that don't appeal to both of you? Do you hide them away for posterity? Do you proudly hang your finds no matter how crazy it drives your better half?
Images: Colleen Quinn
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I once dated a guy that had an oil painting of dogs playing poker. I suggested we move it elsewhere and he told me he had 'commissioned it' ............. from his mom.
Broke up about a month later.
Thank god.
hate to be the first to say this, but isn't it a bit too cynical to be dumping someone over their art?
is love so disposable nowadays?
If it's a major investment then both parties should agree to it beforehand. Otherwise it's like getting someone a pet as a Christmas present - the artist should refuse to sell to you.
Don't shell out more than you can stand to swallow.
My bf has two rather cringeworthy paintings I did a while back displayed in his living room. Every time I saw them I'd think about everything that was wrong with them and get upset. However, he liked them so much that I finally stopped putting so much energy into loathing them and started ignoring them. I still don't like them much--but now I don't care. I guess my suggestion is try it for a while. You might find that after a while you stop noticing it. That approach even worked with my good friend's Wyland themed bathroom. :-)
Ha ha ha, Colleen -- LOVE IT. I nearly mentioned in my post that my boyfriend despises most of the artwork I had before we started dating. And likewise, I keep hoping the poorly framed Monet print that he insists on keeping downstairs will somehow be destroyed by forces other than my own. Amazingly, it survived a busted drain pipe earlier this year, which I was certain would be its end. Not fair!!! As for my crazy art, I keep it all in my office. -- AnnaMaria
We agree on most of our artwork (partially because he doesn't care). But if there was something he brought in that I didn't like, I could make it work if it fit into whatever theme I had going at the time - cityscapes, natural things, flowers. If one piece of "bad" artwork plays off of something "good," everyone could be happy.
Oh man, we have postponed these decisions by putting all contentious art in the attic . . .
I find it hard to get rid of original art that I have no place for, even when I'm the artist. There are some things in our house that he bought that I think are in bad taste, but he insists on keeping up. And there are several paint treatments he did that I loathe. When I mentioned that I didn't like one (even though I vastly understated my level of dislike), he was very hurt. I don't really know how to deal with this. For now, new decor is waiting for us to get a little more money. I'm hoping that if I can tackle the things he doesn't care about first, he'll develop more trust in my stylistic choices, and he'll realize that I'm not trying to take his personality out of the house design.
Ack, I dated a guy that had a HUGE painting of a native american - complete with stereotypical feather headdress - painted on a slab of sandstone and mounted to a piece of black painted wood.
Absolutely fug. He'd even given the damn thing a name.
I fantasized constantly about throwing it away.
We're both artists. And we collaborate. If one of us doesn't like a piece, it's gone. There's too much we both agree on to make it worth fighting to display art (or furniture, or a wall color) one of us dislikes. Including gifts from friends and relatives.
Ok, I am not trying to be rude here but as someone who has been married for 31 years and with my partner for 34+, this looks a bit like navel gazing. We all have to make accommodations, and frankly art (much as I like it and as i/we collect it) seems like pretty small stuff. Do we have stuff he likes and I don't. Sure. Do we have stuff I like and he doesn't. Sure. As far as things that affect a long term relationship go, this seems pretty minor.
The real question here could be: How do you divide up the Art work in the event of a break up...
I would put up a piece or two that I'm not in love with than alienate and hurt my partner and/or start a fight. We're both opinionated and we both have a distinct style. Who am I to say mine is better? Compromising in this area just one of those things you have to deal with, and ultimately, yes, it is (or should) be minor.
You could always agree to donate the stuff you don't agree on to The Museum of Bad Art (http://www.museumofbadart.org/).
Solution: two separate houses. Okay, I'm kidding. I don't have this problem because though we've been together for 3 years, my boyfriend and I still live separately. However, I like all of his art. Some of it I painted for him. The only issue I'd have is that I feel strongly that adults should display posters in frames. So our compromise would probably be, he keeps any posters he likes, and I'd put them in frames. My style is so eclectic and hodge podge, anything would go.
our problem is deciding which art goes where, we're in a status quo for months now... my ideas don't make any sense to him, and his ideas don't make any sense to me.
but I'm the one following AT and a bunch of other sites and feel like I've picked up a thing or two about puting art, furniture etc. here rather than there.
maybe I should just hang all the art when he isn't home and hope he likes it, eh? :P
Each of you pick a few favorites, get rid of the rest. Put your favorites where each of you see them most - perhaps a bathroom that he uses more than you, a room that you use more than him, a place where your eyes constantly go but his don't. Agree to switch them out every season if you can't agree!
My husband used to paint and my FAVORITE by him is one he can't stand. HIS favorite is one I can't stand. The one I like is in my youngest son's nursery so I see it often, and the one he likes is downstairs where he sees it more often. I have moved the artwork around so much that he's just happy to HAVE the one he likes, much less have it somewhere specific.
I have also done the 'hang it where I want and let him change it if he wants' thing - and it works, if you can put up with the whining - hahaha
If all else fails, put the names of the rooms on paper and each of you pick which you get 'control' of via a blind draw.
If THAT fails, pack up the pieces, and store them away for awhile. You don't have to hang everything, and maybe white walls will teach you both a lesson! ;)
One way to kind of disguise a horrible piece of art belonging to a significant other is to frame it beautifully, in a style that matches or complements some of your other art. That way it can kind of "blend" and they still get to enjoy it. I find usually it's not that they like the artistry so much, but that it has sentimental value.