I'll worry about it when I hear the first confirmed case of an illness caused by dirt brought inside on shoes.

I've had a shoes-off-at-the-door policy ever since living in Japan, where this tradition is followed even in many offices. Heavy metals or no, it keeps your home cleaner. It also creates a psychological transition from the outside that's very nice.

until someone does remove his trousers.

the other side of this is that it's more comfortable to pad about without shoes, no matter how well the shoes fit

It's not more comfortable for those whose feet smell bad, or who have fungus or warts, or who need orthopedic arches, or...
(I just got done reading the whole thread of 175 comments on the AT: NY post on shoes off at a party, so I'm reporting back from that.)

I tend to go either way. I'll come home and be doing stuff and not think to take my shoes off until I relize I'm really ready to shuck 'em and then I'm padding around in slippers, bare feet or simply in my socks and my feet love me for it when I do.

Sea -- you're much more patient and thorough than I am

And you are extremely charitable, JonathanB.

Who knew we were so different.. up here in Canada we have a strict shoes at the door policy. I cringe at the thought of walking on a carpet with 'outside' shoes.

For parties, especially in the winter, us girls often wear boots to the door and put the heels on when we arrive.

It's not completely unheard of to have an outside-shoes-in party... in college. Sometimes they're the best kind ;)

Tyler,

Actually, when my friend's young boys were diagnosed with dangerous higher than normal lead count levels and after confirming that the house was lead free and the counts remaining as high... the doctor told him to stop wearing shoes in the house. It has been 6 months and no one wears outside shoes in the house. Last week the kids counts were as low as one can get living in our industrialized world.....which is far lower than what they were 6-8 months ago.

So, yes, this can make people ill.

Anyone have any recommendations for slippers to offer to friends?

For people who can't bear the thought of not wearing shoes in the house, a good door mat is a help in keeping street dirt out.

mgb,
Head down to your local Chinatown to look for guest slippers. I prefer the all straw/bamboo ones myself, as they are unisex, but are harder to find than gender-specific ones. Avoid thong-type slippers as they aren't compatible with socks.

As for sizes, I have 2 pairs of big slippers (about size 10 mens) and 2 pairs of small (about size 8 womens), which has covered most of the guest situations over the last year.

I've always thought shoes existed simply to protect your feet from anything you might step on outside. I've seen opposition to the "no-shoes-in-the-house" policy before, but this mostly consists of the argument that it's rude to ask a guest to remove her shoes, an argument which I don't fully understand. If a friend showed up with a muddy article of clothing, I don't think it would be rude to ask her not to sit on my sofa, or to change before doing so. Shoes are dirty articles of clothing.

For those who are offended by being asked to remove their shoes, can you offer us some other reason aside from embarrassing or medical foot conditions (which I'm sure no one would hesitate to accommodate, as a good host)? I am sincerely interested in hearing the reason behind the other side of this issue.

jv - although i'm not opposed to removing my shoes at a homeowner's request, the other side of the issue may come up when you're hosting a more formal gathering, perhaps? if i've got a long dress or pants on with heels and someone asks me to remove my shoes, then suddenly, my clothes are dragging on the floor all night long (not to mention, my outfit is ruined!).

that's the only situation i can think of right now.

JV - the only time that it bothers me is when the host is sitting there in cozy slippers while I sit there in my bare feet freezing. Unfortunately I am rarely offered slippers at most people's door. (And I personally have a big ick factor regarding communal slippers.)

One actually thought that I was being rude when I started bringing wool socks that I would change into. And of course there is never a bench or seat at the door which you need when you have tricky lace ups you are trying to contend with.

Anh-Minh, Amy, thanks for your answers. It seems like, as with most issues of etiquette, the real problem is that *people* can sometimes be inconsiderate, but the rule itself can be used politely.

Are there really this many people that haven’t encountered shoes off as an everyday common practice? It’s every day life. How is it possible that there are soooo many people this clueless about common curtsey?

You’re joking right? This is a bunch of off site lurkers trying to force an argument and drive up hits for apartment therapy, right. Shoes off is so every day, its remarkable there are this many people that aren’t used to it. Shoes off is the default everywhere I go in the SF, Oakland, SJ, Berkeley, etc. Small parties and big parties included. It’s really NOT a big deal.

Sure, if you have a serious foot or health condition, then wear your shoes. BTW I’ve never seen anyone confronted about wearing their shoes, but once they come inside and see EVERYBODY else isn’t, they normally go back to the porch/entry/front door and remove their shoes. Mind you, I’m not talking about at my house, it’s everywhere, and I go out enough to be referring to more than just a dozen situations. It’s all the time. This is really mind-blowing that so many people are so upset about taking off their shoes that they’re actually trying to defend wearing shoes at someone’s house party!

Even indoor/outdoor parties are mostly shoes off. There are normally plenty of flip-flops around and a lot of people are used to bringing their own. This isn’t the Cold North, or Canada, or the Bowery, its North Beach, Jack London, Marin, Palo Alto, Richmond Dist, Santana Row, Haight, Berkeley Hills etc. Not a single cookie cutter suburban home with wall to wall beige carpets. Still, it’s no shoes and no big deal. No temper tantrums, no missing Manolos, no big deal. Sweaty feet? Wipe ‘em off in the bathroom. Hole in your socks? Ask the host for a pair or grab one of the extra pair of slippers. It’s really not that difficult.

If you don’t have a medical condition, what’s the problem? Is your personal self image THAT tied to wearing shoes? What parties and what people do you hang out with where having ugly socks or being short is grounds to be dismissed and/or ignored at a party?

Glass on the floor? Come’on. Things get broken at parties ALL THE TIME. Everyone freezes and it gets cleaned up. NO BIG DEAL. Infants play on carpets, toddlers run on the hardwood, nobody gets sick from foot lice, or contracts athlete’s foot, or dies from foot odor. Got any more wild excuses?

Look, if you’re that hung up, leave your shoes on. You’re still welcome to hang out. After a while you’ll get over yourself and join everyone else in relaxing and end up removing your shoes anyway. Until then, just know, nobody is as hung up as you over fashionable shoes, your ugly feet, your holey socks, your sweaty pads, your hairy toes, your corns, your thin ankles or whatever it is you’re so self conscious about. If your “condition” was that bad to begin with, you wouldn’t be going out in the first place.

Here’s one last word of support. Recycling took a small learning curve. Now you’re used to it. Organic food was once, Huh? Now it’s becoming every day. You’ve learned how to use email and surf the web. You’ll be able to master removing your shoes at parties and eventually it will be so common place, you’ll be as amazed you ever gave it a second thought. Be pissed all you want, but it’s not that big a deal. Really.

I take my shoes off when I get home, but since I do not have a daily parade of guests I am not concerned about what a friend might drag in on their shoes. usually cleaning up after a dinner party involves cleaning up quite a bit more than a little dust from the hardwood floors...

I think it would be very inconsiderate to ask guests to remove shoes, you might as well put plastic on all the furniture while you are at it. I do remove my shoes on a daily bases, but for entertaining it is a whole different scenario and I do not think it is appropriate to "force" on guests, can you imagine a store or restaurant, (aside from traditional Japanese...) requiring shoe removal??????

Who said anything about forcing people to take their shoes off? Everyone does it, go along. OR if it's that big a deal to you, leave your shoes on. In that situation it's obviously inconsiderate to leave yours shoes on but don't worry, no one will "force" you to take your shoes off. That would be rude. One rude person is more than enough a most parties.

This is really funny. Recently on a european forum, I read a shoes-off/shoes-on discussion that ended in name calling, invectives, downright viciousness. It made me smile and roll my eyes. Now I see the same on NY and SF AT... Who knew this issue was so divisive... internationally ??
(People -- all of you. Relax.)

name calling! invective! my gracious will the fun never cease? In the case of guests, I let them decide whether to keep their shoes on or not. It's well enough known in my circles I'd rather be unshod. With few exceptions, most people take off their shoes. The exceptions tend to be older people for whom the extra work may be a bit of a burden.

Although I understand and respect requests for taking off shoes, I personal hate to when unexpected, unless I'm wearing socks. This is because I find my own feet quite unattractive, and would prefer not to share their ugliness with my hosts as it is very embarrassing. Oh well.

the idea of putting on borrowed slippers that other people have worn is disgusting. yuck.

Shoes off rule in our home for family, especially with our three kids comming in and out all day, This really does keep our wood floors looking like new and easier to keep clean. The floors however can be slippery with children in their socks especially when they are in a hurry as my very hyper 11 year old Tyler found out the hard way! He was getting ready for his roller hockey game when his ride showed up, running to get the door, down the stairs he went! Trip to the E.R, fractured wrist, big bump on his head, and no roller hockey for a while! He has his special rule now, Barefeet! Tara

The obligation of a good host is to be hospitable. Hospitality involves making people feel at home. This forum clearly demonstrates that, for some, feeling at home entails being shoeless; for others, it entails wearing shoes. If you can't graciously accommodate BOTH those wearing shoes AND those who are shoeless, your capacity as a host may well be impaired. (And don't judge preference based on those who haven't complained about your restriction; well-mannered guests won't voice their discontent.)

Sure, you have every right to enforce the rules of your house. You can demand that guests not sit on your furniture. You can choose to only serve them Kool Aid (ugh!). But any such restrictions will necessarily increase the likelihood that your guests will not feel at home...and that degrades your performance as a host.

Good hosts endeavor to anticipate and accommodate the wants and needs of their guests. If your home cannot allow that because it has fragile flooring or because your children regularly lick the carpeting or because you're allergic to ubiquitous chemicals, you should either eschew the role of host, select a restaurant venue or accept that some guests will justifiably view you as inhospitable. And if it's the latter, you need to recognize that it's YOUR failure, not that of your guests.

I've learned much from reading these posts. As with most of my fellow Californians, I only take my shoes off when I go OUTSIDE. I've felt insulted by those who have visited my home and removed their shoes, feeling that they showed inappropriate familiarity. But now I'll try to be more tolerant. I hope those on the shoeless side have gained some similar insights.