To mark her homecoming [Homecoming? Isn't that a quaint word. Goes with "Queen"] and her new column in Martha Stewart Living magazine, Martha will be joining us for an exclusive live chat [would this be a fireside chat?].
Don’t miss your chance to participate! [She really wants to know what I think.] Starting at 6:30 p.m. EST on March 14, sign in to the chat on marthastewart.com, and submit your questions. Be sure to sign in early, since space is limited. [Limited space online? Can't they buy another server?] Martha will join us at 8 p.m. to speak with us live [just before we brush our teeth and go to bed] and respond to as many questions as possible [just like Santa Claus].
If you can’t attend the chat on Monday, check our website Tuesday for a complete transcript of the event [Sure to be printed in the New York Times along with George Bush's latest address].
MGR [martha serf].