Relationship Minefields: Don't Avoid These Tricky Money Conversations Any Longer

Relationship Minefields: Don't Avoid These Tricky Money Conversations Any Longer

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Jennifer Hunter
May 8, 2015

Ugh, right? Talking about money is NOT sexy, but knowing how your partner thinks about money (and finding the funds for date night) is a make-or-break part of any relationship. If you're getting serious with your significant other (or thinking about making it legal), you should deal with this stuff sooner rather than later. You'll be glad you did.

Debt

Having debt is certainly not a dealbreaker, but it is important to disclose that you owe money. Dealing with debt is stressful enough without also keeping a secret. By talking about it, you may just get some extra support or help coming up with a plan to eliminate it.

How you spend

You probably already have a sense of how your favorite person spends, but then again, you may not realize just what's going on behind the scenes. Being honest about your money habits (and getting the real scoop from your partner) is a top priority when talking about tricky relationship areas like expectations about vacations, living together or gifts.

Goals

Let's face it, money goals and life goals are endlessly intertwined. If you are trying to scrimp and pinch now in order to save for a house later, your partner needs to understand why you can't pay for weekly flower deliveries like you did in the beginning of your relationship (although, flowers, still important). Having this conversation will help make sure there aren't any silly misunderstandings and will even help you grow stronger together while envisioning your bright future together.

Now, a note on having "the talk"

One reason people hate talking about money so much is that everyone has such different (and often emotional) reactions to this topic. After all, it's all tied up in one's upbringing, attitudes and feelings of security. So don't make this conversation more stressful than it needs to be. Rather than one big "talk" try slowly making money talk a part of your relationship, moving forward. You can casually discuss how you're really doing well saving this week or you want to try a new strategy for your shopping trips. In other words, don't make the subject taboo. Keep it a part of the conversation and watch it get way easier.

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