Valentine's Day is here. And while the day can be a joyful celebration, the flipside is the day can be a difficult reminder of when love can't find a way. Breakups can be painful, but there are lots of things you can and should to take your first steps forward in your life towards a positive future and a healed heart...
What To Do With Your Joint Accounts?
When two people are living together it's not uncommon to join forces and merge accounts and services. Whether it's Amazon Prime, Netflix, e-mail, or even joint bank accounts, there's quite a lot that needs to be sorted out.
For maintaining ownership of accounts such as Netflix we suggest using the original account holder whose e-mail and credit card is linked to the service. This way there's no need to re-assign ownership to another e-mail address and your funds are secure with your linked credit cards.
Joint bank accounts get more complicated. eHow warns that "...you are legally responsible for any fees that are levied against the account regardless of whether you accrued the fees. In addition, both account holders have full access to all of the funds contained in the account at all times." So go to the bank and legally split/close that account as soon as possible.
If you share a joint e-mail address and had an amicable split, you might set up a mail forwarder to send messages to both your individual personal accounts. Otherwise you can cancel your account or decide who gets to keep it.
Don't forget to change your passwords! As much as you trusted your significant other in the past, leaving access to your accounts is asking for trouble. So go change your passwords now.
What To Do With All Your Stuff?
If you've just recently split, it's likely you're left with quite a lot of stuff that you don't really know what to do with and possibly never really liked in the first place. Where you previously might have to compromise on design, take the opportunity to reinvent your home and redecorate in your own distinct style.
Websites like Never Liked It Anyway provides a safe-haven for the broken-hearted to tell their sob story where it's rated with categories such as "WTF?!", "Tearjerker", "Awesome!" or "FML". The emotional stories aside, you can get rid of some baggage as well by selling your ex-lover's gifts. No need to hang on to sentimental items that have negative sentiment, right? Besides, how are you going to explain to your new hot boy/girlfriend why you're wearing your ex's diamonds and robes and hanging on to his teddy bear gifts. Get rid of it all and score a little return on your (bad) investment while you're at it. And for those not just out of a breakup you can score a great deal on some used jewelry, clothes, and other things that couples get each other. You can always go the Craigslist or eBay route as well. A themed yard sale would be a lot of fun as well.
If you're not in the mindset to recoup dollars from the split, you can always make a choice of the heart and donate to a worthy charity.
MORE SEPARATING STUFF ON APARTMENT THERAPY
• Break Ups: A Reason For Throwing Stuff Out
• The Aftermath of a Break-up: Dividing Furniture
• How To Sell Your Stuff: Tips For A Super Successful Yard Sale
• How To: Have a Successful Yard Sale
• The Secrets To Successful Garage Sales
• When Re-Gifting Is Good: Where to Recycle and Donate Tech
What To Do With Your Online Life Together?
If you're not one to shout your entire life over the internet, you can make changes to keep your breakup off Facebook's newsfeed. Unfortunately it gets a lot more complicated than simply others knowing. There are questions on what to do with your online photos and tagged pictures, and whether you should de-friend your ex. Photo memories can be painful to revisit, but remember that the two of you shared that experience with love at one point. There's no need to delete that happy memory. Perhaps simply changing your photo privacy settings could help with the public face of things. Besides, we always untag ourselves from unflattering photos anyway so that's always an option.
Be careful with photos and things you previously thought were guaranteed to stay private between you and your significant other. CNN warns about protecting yourself from vengeful exes and offers some great advice.
If your ex has compromising photos or information, you can try to reason with them and ask that the files be deleted. [Erika Holiday, a clinical psychologist] says the reason they would share photos in the first place is because they are experiencing pain. Letting them know how much pain you are also in can minimize their pain and, hopefully, decrease their desire for malice. - CNN
MORE ONLINE STUFF ON APARTMENT THERAPY
• How to Keep Your Breakup Off Facebook's Newsfeed
Go Out & Meet New People
It's difficult to put a smile on a sad situation. Take the chance and open yourself up to strengthen existing friendships and make new ones. There are tons of ways to meet new people, whether it's a traditional match.com or eHarmony online dating approach. Make friends with your neighbors where before you simply shared an awkward hello. Use your smartphone and the multitude of dating apps available. There are even matchmaking sites for Mac lovers, believe it or not!
Breaking up is difficult, but moving on doesn't have to be. There's so much support and help out there. Take a step forward simply by putting yourself out there. You'll be happy you did!
MORE MEETING PEOPLE ON APARTMENT THERAPY
• Dating Mobilized: Smartphone And Your Love Life
• Finding Friendship at Every Stage of Your Life
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• Have Dinner, Make New Friends
MORE ON BREAKUPS, MOVING ON & RELATIONSHIPS ON APARTMENT THERAPY
• Be Gone! How To Exorcise An Ex From Your Abode
• Roomies with an Ex?
• Moving On: Post-Breakup Apartment Therapy
• I'm Over Him, but Not the Dogs
• Breakup Shower: Would You Throw One? Would You Want One?
• The Healing Powers of Decorating Post Break-up
• Dating and Your Home
• Moving In Together: Money Matters
• Would You Date Someone if You Really Dislike Their Style?
• When Couples Don't Sleep Well Together...
• When Two Geeks Fall In Love: A Minecraft Wedding
• Couples Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms