This has been a financially challenging year for many people and quite a few adult children made the decision to give up their apartments and move back home with their parents in order to get back on their feet. If you are dealing with this, consider these tips to make this transitional period easier to get through as you get your life back on track.
1) Set up your space for your life now. If you are moving back into your childhood home, your bedroom may still be the same. Consider redoing this space to make it feel more like your current design style. Use decor and furniture from your last apartment to create this new look in your old bedroom. Or if you are staying in a guest room or the office, also makeover this space to your current design style.
2) Since your things will probably be in storage during this transitional time, make sure to keep out your favorite things to help with tip #1. Your fave light shade, frames, chair, comforter, etc. Keep out things that make you happy.
3) Just like you would with a roommate, talk to your family and set up boundaries so there are no misunderstandings. Get everything out on the table. Just because you cleaned the table as a kid, doesn't mean you should have to be responsible for cleaning everyone's dishes now. And on the flip side, just because your mom picked up after you when you were kid does not mean she should have to do it for you now. Be considerate of the space you are sharing.
4) Along these lines, talk about your time line so every knows what your plan is. Let your parents know if you need six weeks or six months to figure your out your next move. As amazing as it is for you to be able to go home again, your parents have their schedules as well and it's respectful to keep them in the loop on this.
5) Try to keep the same schedule you did when you were living on your own. Do laundry on the same day, clean on the same day, etc. By keeping some kind of similar schedule, you won't feel so unsettled.
6) Like we mentioned in tips for renters to feel at home, unpack all of your things that you brought with you. You will feel better. Make the most of this time and settle in so you can focus on figuring out your next steps.
7) Many parents won't mind buying the groceries but consider buying your own food. Although you are trying to save money, there are ways you can feel like you are doing your own thing. Definitely talk about this when you do tip #3.
8) Create zones in your bedroom since you may not be used to one-room living. Make your bedroom into a functioning studio. There are tons of small space tips for you to consider so make the most of this space.
9) Along these lines, set up an office space. Forget laying in bed to pay the bills or search for a new gig, set up a dedicated office space in your parents home. It most likely will be in your bedroom so consider hanging some elfa shelves or get a desk and a good chair and call it your office home.
10) Keep it in perspective! Although living at home again was not in your plans, life is a journey and things happen. Be grateful for your family and enjoy this unique time with them.
Check out more one-room ideas from Apartment Therapy:
- 33 Best Small Space Design Tips
- The Pros of Living in a Studio Apartment
- Creating a Bedroom Space in Your Studio
(Image one of Vince Vaughn still living at home to save money in Mr. & Mrs. Smith)
Apartment Therapy's Sofa Shopping Guide
Nikki’s Sweet and Cheery Print Studio
Good Food to Share 
The Big Book of Small, Cool Spaces 
Apartment Therapy Presents 
The Eight-Step Home Cure 
Stanley Console by ...
5 Things Paris Taught Me About Travel
Recipe: Ham, Cheddar & Chive Egg Bakes
Things I've learned in the last month of living (temporarily) with my parents?
- Bringing pets is tricky, especially if you are the owner of a cat and your Mom is the owner of a really nice sofa.
- Don't sit in your Mom's spot on that really nice sofa.
- If you value your life, don't touch the Tivo.
I think the most important thing is to keep up a normal social schedule that gets you out of the house. It will make you feel less like you've taken a step back in your life, and it will break up all those Scrabble nights with mom and dad.
We're recently married with a baby and moving back in with the parents (gasp) seems to be our next step. We're trying not to look at it as a step down because we're giving ourselves the opportunity to gather a savings and not live in a debt rut. Of course, we'll eventually be able to move out and that will be our much needed step forward. I also agree with heather77, keeping up an active social life will not cramp your style and will not cramp up the living situation as much.
My parents sold their house right around the time I moved in with my mom into a new apartment. It's been a year and we still haven't figured out that mom/daughter/roommate dynamic yet. Even though we things are going smoothly (does any roommate situation go smoothly) I just remember that she doesn't have to be so generous which keeps me grounded.
The best advice I can give is to remind your parents that they need to treat you like an equal, a peer and you promise to do the same. Their job of raising you is over and now they are just a support system.
I ended up moving back home in early 2003 to camp out on the sofa and I had my computer set up in the living room but everything else that I had brought with me to try and make a go of living in LA was parked in the garage where I could get to it and we found space for my clothes.
The reason for this is my Mom has no extra bedroom setup for guests as her back bedroom is her den where she sews, watches TV etc so I happily camped out on the couch for nearly a year before I finally landed a job and was able to move into my own place late that year - it's the place I still live in to this day. :-)
During that year, we got to know each other even better as grown adults than before although Mom and I have always been close and today, we are even closer, especially now that she's in her late 70's.
But I also had some social time by myself, which was good and we spent time together, we had rules and boundaries and we repsected each other. I may not have that opportunity again but I hope I don't need to do so either.
Wow, guys, moving back into parents' is pretty much a challenge! And Im talking from a Brazilian girl's point of view--hope I never need to go thru this.
Here in my country, adults generally dont mind living their parents' home--I know ppl in their 30s who still live with mom and dad and thats no a problem at all!-- and even make their own family that share parents roof as well!
Of course, Brazil is a huge country, and things are not the same for every brazilian. But its a very common situation here, given economics isnt so favorable to ppl in general.
Anyway, I think economic factors builds cultural habits as time goes by since financial status doesnt change for better... :(
Hope for you going thru such a situation, that it doesnt take too long. Good luck!
Thankfully, I don't have to move home permanently but I'm staying with my mom for a month or so after she has surgery. I run my own business that I'm going to have to pick up and move with me for that time and some of these are great tips whether long term or short term.
I'm trying to find the humor in the fact that it will be single me with my two cats "living with my mom" and her two cats. :)
I'm glad to have come across this! I'm about to move home for the first time since I left the nest, to save money over the course of about 8 months for grad school. It will be challenging in one respect--I own my own apartment and renting it out will be like letting someone else babysit my precious child for the first time--but wonderful in others. I really love my parents and we've transitioned into equals/peers pretty smoothly. I'm excited to get to spend a lot of time with them before moving halfway across the world for school. There will surely be some rough spots, but that can be the case with any roommates!
Yes, getting out of the house and maintaining an active social life is super important! Great addition to the list.
Imagine my surprise to see one of my Small/Cool pics above #8!
Bittersweet, considering I sold everything in the picture (except the trunk!) and am now living with my parents.
::sigh::
Kudos to all of you are able to make these living situations work without bloodshed. I'm on the other end of this problem. My daughter has been out of a job since April. We don't have the room for her family of four (plus 4 cats) to move in with us (2 adults and our 5 cats!, 2 bedroom house). Thus, we are paying her living expenses (rent, utilities, food, car repairs, insurance, etc.). I suppose it could be worse: if we couldn't pay for her to stay where she is, they'd have to move in with us and then I'd be moving to a padded cell somewhere! I am SO glad we made really wise money decisions in the past so we don't have to adjust our living conditions at this stage of the game of life. Yet.
Then there's knowing when it's best to leave...
In 1992 I returned to the US from 2 years in Japan and went to my folks home in Maryland for what was intended to be a short visit to pick up my car before moving to California - I was offered a job that weekend, so I decided to stay, take the job and go to school for a while...
...after going out partying in DC a couple times and coming home late to a worried Mother in the Living Room in her bathrobe and slippers - I knew it was time to continue with my plans and move to California.
I moved in with my mother for a few months, while my own house was being built, and then ended up staying on when she was diagnosed with a terminal illness (so despite the current financial climate reason posed above I suspect the 'moving in' trend will happen to more and more people as their parents age). A few things I learned:
* it's not worth paying huge storage fees for your belongings but it's worth it if there's nowhere for storage at your parents home (i.e., it helps to honor their space to keep peace). In retrospect I likely would have kept my grandmother's dining table and chairs, and my sofa, but gotten rid of 95% of my books and at least 70% of my kitchen gear.
* if you're in a bedroom, set it up as a studio in miniature, give yourself enough privacy to read, write, etc (so that you're not hogging their living space)
* never fight over a TV or Tivo or stereo (get your own and some headphones)
* if you want to be treated like an adult, behave like an Overly Considerate version of an adult, and especially do whatever tasks are difficult for them to do (vacuuming, washing windows, grocery shopping, etc)
* be prepared to share your schedule with them (in part because to sleep soundly they often need to do the 'house is secure' check)
* pick a meal you'll have together regularly - for us it was Sunday brunch - it did wonders for our relationship to have a set meal together (and alleviated any expectations of nightly dinner until she became ill of course and then all the rules of thumb changed between then and her passing)
It's doable folks, it's doable, but it takes a lot of patience.
Just curious - why is there a photo of a scene from "Mr & Mrs. Smith" at the top of this article? And now you're probably wondering why did I watch that movie? I'm wondering myself...
Greta, Vince Vaughn's character lives at home with his mom in the movie.
I'm back at home.. it's been a couple of months now and so far it's going great. I transformed my childhood bedroom with all of my favorite things from my old apartment and it makes me smile every time I walk in there. I even added some houseplants from Sprout in Brooklyn and the space is cheery and warm with good energy. It's a grown up room that is settled and peaceful, and it's a welcome relief from the time spent under considerable financial stress while I was in my old apartment. Even though I moved home to save and pay down debt, one crucial thing I did to maintain my independence was buy a car, so I wouldn't have to inconvenience mom or dad if I needed to get somewhere for my job (and also so I'd feel like the adult I am!).
My husband and I are currently living with my mother-in-law, and have been doing so for the last 18 months.
We're all staying sane (just). I've found the following ideas really helpful:
*Keep your bedroom as a sanctuary. It's the only space that's yours, so keep it as tidy and calm as possible. Before we moved in to my hubby's old childhood bedroom, we shifted out all of the junk, had the room repainted and carpet laid, and bought new cupboards (a huge Ikea Pax setup) to hold all of our essentials. It feels like a different room to the daggy, peeling-paint spare room of old.
*Try to add as little as possible to the rest of the house. My M-I-L had too much stuff already, so we built a ladder up to the unused attic, and store all of our stuff up there. We've been very lucky in that respect. My parents are storing the few things that couldn't make it up the ladder.
*Respect that it's her (their) space, so try to fit in with her routines, ways of doing things, etc. This has been hard for me, but really important to show that you aren't just "taking over".
*Split all bills and grocery costs fairly, if possible.
I hope this helps someone else! I have to admit, it's not easy. Being a part-time worker who studies from home makes it harder!
Staying with my in-laws for four months while I looked for a job in a new city was the worst decision I ever made. No amount of guest-like consideration and staying out of the way on my part seemed to help. It was wretched and I thank God every day it's over.
I should add, I really like my in-laws! It just didn't work for us!