Thorin over on Lifehacker is newly single, in his 30s, and recently polled some friends about their dating deal breakers. He was surprised to learn (as I am) that every single person he talked to said their potential partner needed to have a real bed frame at home. It's a very specific requirement, but what are some other red flags? If the home is a reflection of a person, what in their place would cause you to cut the connection? More importantly, are these signs of superficiality on your part, or do these things actually warn of bigger issues that are insurmountable in a future relationship?
Here are some possibilities —let us know which are your dating deal breakers below:
1. No “Real” Furniture: There’s a mattress on the floor where a bed frame might be, and a crate instead of a nightstand. Is it a function of finances, or lack of ability to put down roots and make a commitment?
2. Childhood Toys: We’re talking the full Star Wars figurine collection, or a zoo of stuffed animals littered across the bed. Are you dating another 40-year-old virgin who can't grow up, or someone who had a really, really happy childhood?
3. An Inordinate Number of Pets: There are enough cats for an entire baseball team, and pet hair for miles. Sign of a soft and nurturing heart, or an over reliance on fur babies for a social life?
4. Bad Books: You try and try but your eyes keep catching on all those self-help books, or the latest Jackie Collins novel. Meanwhile, your tastes run towards Michael Chabon. Are you an intellectual mismatch, or is it okay to have different media tastes?
5. Many Mementos of The Ex: The apartment is littered with snapshots of them at the beach, in Amsterdam, and at his best friend's wedding last year. Is it a good sign that they stay friends, or is it possible they haven't really moved on?
6. Disgusting Mess: You walk into their apartment and the place is covered in dust, dishes, and dirty laundry. Are they lazy, or just have a totally different sense of what constitutes clean?
Is there anything in your new boyfriend/girlfriend’s house that would scare you off from seeing them longer? Have your standards changed as you got older? If you respond in the comments, note how old you are, or in what pertinent stage of life you currently find yourself.