apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Six months already. Time becomes such a speedy slippery thing when a child is around to constantly reflect it. Best wishes to all three of you, and congratulations on achieving the bliss of a regularly sleeping baby. Ferber is a beloved genius, a stranger to whom we give enormous credit for our family's quality of life in these last two years (wow -- two years already... slippery time).

Since you linked Ferber, I have to plug "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley for the benefit of other desperate, sleep-deprived parents who might be reading this.
http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Through/dp/0071381392/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-3024794-2848747?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175891571&sr=8-1

Everyone has to make the choice that's best for their family, and I'm not interested in a sleep-training debate on a design site, but personally I strongly disagree with Ferber so I just don't want that link hanging out here without a counterpoint. Anyone considering Ferber, please look into other options like Pantley, that's all I'm saying.

And yay for sleep.

Congratulations on achieving sleep success. We've been really fortunate to have our 9 month old sleep through the night and we too share a bedroom. As desperate as her cries are we force ourselves to let her cry it out, reminding ourselves that the pain is not as bad as it seems. Though it seems like an eternity, 10 mins will pass and she'll put herself to sleep. We definitely find ourselves sweeping daily (I recommend a swiffer dry broom) as our little one now crawls...which is definitely easier in a small space! Best of luck...

Oh dear.

Sleep is such a fabulous thing, that I never used to appreciate. My son Gregory is a couple weeks older than Ursula and also recently learned to sleep in his own crib in his own room. We endured no sleep at all because he was in our bed and afterward the carseat was his bed, he woke up every two hours during the night. We read all the sleep books, dreading the inevitable crying it out. When we finally put him to sleep in the crib, it was pretty painless compared to how bad I thought it would be. He cried for one night and then got used to it after that, with a little crying here and there. I think he wanted a place to stretch out and sleep in any position he felt like. life is much better now!

I second the No Cry Sleep Solution.

I give it to my friends *before* they give birth so they can establish good sleeping habits from Day One and avoid having to resort to Ferber.

Just like we all might have gone to different camps in the summmer and some never went to camp...there are many paths to sleep and it is good to know your options. Congratulations on better sleep. Babies are great for deep cleaning, they find every little thing on the floor (of course putting them in the their mouths, not part of the deal). I really like the good night moon book on the desk, that is a great bedtime story.

Apartment Hunting Tip: Apartments are cheaper in January and February because no one likes to move around that time.

Another solution is the Family Bed. Done in a safe manner(as with solo sleeping) this can solve both the space issue and the sleep needs of all :)

Yes, big, huge, mammoth congrats on winning the sleep battle. Very interesting. I'm taking notes...

Bless you for this post, because I am going to have to be sleep training in a few months! Glad it worked out for you.

I'm due for a baby in 2.5 weeks (or, any day now) so have been reading up on the various baby things - sleep, milk, poop. Sleep is so important, I'm glad to hear that you guys have found something that works for you. Just finished the Weissbuth book, and found it very helpful and interesting (close to Ferber, I think). Cheers!

Congratulations on this great achievement! Your baby is so beautiful. I have a 2 1/2 year old little boy and just found out we're expecting another. Your posting reminded me of the beginning days. Everyone says the 2nd is easier, but sleep deprivation a second time around does not sound fun...

Enjoy these days! Before you know it they're running your house.

I thought I'd mention for anyone who is having children soon or has very young babies now, that you don't have to do cry-it-out. My daughter's 3, sleeps in her own room, we all get plenty of sleep. We never did cry it out or any variant thereof. I know many have had success with the no-cry sleep solution. Sears baby book was useful, but we mostly just made our way through what felt right to get her to sleep independently, one nightwaking at a time.

And all the parents I've known who've done cry-it-out must adhere rigidly to the child's schedule (usually a realllllly early bedtime and wake up) because if they shift it at all, they have to do the whole "training" process again. My daughter could always be up later than usual for Grandma's birthday, New Year's, or fall asleep at a party, while visiting relatives, etc. with no problem in her overall sleeping schedule. Just thought you should know that's not the only option!

Thank you, Quillian. You put it perfectly.

Thank you mjoe, MamaChilanga, Quillian, and KatieD! A safe family bed is a peaceful solution for a small space.
I'd suggest Dr. James McKenna's "Sleeping with your Baby" and Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's "Sleepless in America."
http://www.amazon.com/Sleeping-Your-Baby-Parents-Guide/dp/1930775342/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-2836960-4660043?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175913203&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Sleepless-America-Child-Misbehaving-Missing/dp/006073602X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-2836960-4660043?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175913151&sr=8-1

It took 9 months to finally convince me that I had to give up the 400sq ft studio I loved so much. After I moved, I started thinking I could have lasted longer, but at the time it really felt completely necessary. Good luck on your search!

awe, thank you for the little cutie peek.
she'll be crawling this summer get very fast at it,
by september she'll be 11 months old walking,
holding on to your hands or furniture for balance.

the level of sleep deprivation is surprising isn't it?
i think only a parent whose endured it can relate
i had it for 2 1/2 years in a tiny apartment,
with no pacifiers.
so congratulations!

what's so bad about ferber?
i keep hearing "at least then you don't have to resort to ferber"

Thanks Maxwell and Sara Kate for sharing. Fun to see what crib you guys got and to see a photo with a little baby clutter ;0) Goodnight moon is the book we read every night before bedtime (7p.m.)

We have an almost 8 month old son and we followed Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (more or less) and have really been happy w/ the results.

I am curious to understand why things get more difficult in a small space once the child turns one? I have heard that many times. Does anyone have experience?

K, I don't know why it would make things more "difficult". At one, my son is walking, but he's been crawling all over the place since he's 7 months or so. Hence, I have had time to babyproof almost everything in the apartment before the monster actually walks.
I live in a 800sqft apartment, I don't think I could have stayed in my former 450 sqft with a baby, there is just not enough space for him to wander around and walk.

and I thought the cats kept me up......

Fiona!
Do I interpret that to mean you have a little one on the way?!? Or one has arrived?!?

Either way, congrats! You will be a wonderful mom, I think!

sleep-deprived parents: please check out gentler ways (Pantley) and skip Ferber and Weissbluth...

Pantly, Ferber, Weissbluth, WHATEVER... Let's discuss that COSCO Crib!!

I know what happens in that kind of situation. We have a bouncy seat with blinking lights, a la one husband's shopping trip to Buy Buy Baby.

May I recommend what we got for our tiny space, if you get to the point where you can't stand the white plastic...

http://www.communityplaythings.com/c/BabiesToddlers/Cribs/G10.htm

And we got solid color baby bedding here:
http://www.carouseldesigns.com/set2.asp?number=420

Incidentally, all you folks who wonder what's so bad with Ferber? Remember that time you were stuck on a plane with a crying baby? Now imagine that baby is yours, every night and day, and you've been instructed to let it cry until it learns to sleep on its own. Not every baby gets it as fast as Ursula did, and it's HARD to hear your baby cry. There are gentler ways (Pantley) that may take longer, but each parent eventually finds their own path. We just went to sleep camp ourselves -- Congrats to Max and SK for finding what worked for Ursula.

You know, what scares me about becoming a parent (someday), almost more than the lack of sleep and immense reponsibility for the well-being of another person, is how intensely and personally parents seem to argue about things like which sleep method is The Best And Only Way. Why can't everyone just be glad for the G-Rs that Ursula learned how to sleep through the night and that the three of them are happy?

Hi Patrick.

Yes, I do. Thanks for the compliment! I'll do my best...but this post inspired me to order two books about sleep training that had been recommended to me! Have also been cleaning and organizing furiously and frantically, since I now have a built-in deadline... :)

Yes, I do have one on the way, I mean!

God, people get so sanctimonious when parents practice a different method than the one they espouse. Get over yourselves! Crying It Out is not a torture device - it's a means to an end, and if it works, it works. Mama C and others need to cool off and maybe take it to the Park Slope Parents board where everyone will agree that the family bed is the most *wholesome* way for babies to be raised (inconceivable to me). let's just be happy that Maxwell and SK have found an effective way for Ursual to get her rest, for them to get some sleep and still find time to see friends. Me? Weissbluth all the way!

Maxwell, Sleeping through the night is a glorious thing! Try moving up bedtime to 7pm. It gives you more adult time and usually, the baby won't wake up any earlier. Our pugs are thankful for the baby-free time.

Here's something I've been wondering about:

When my now five-year-old was a baby we tried to figure out when she would fall asleep and one of us would sit next to her crib while she did. It seemed to work--no crying! (Just 10 minutes a night of sitting with her.)

But, five years later, we're still sitting with her. Maybe teaching an 8-month-old to fall asleep on her own is the Big Prototypical Limit that informs all limits to come.

Or maybe our daughter will become quite a good trial lawyer.

Sammie2, we used Weissbluth also. It worked for us. I also agree about moving the bedtime back to 7pm. They don't wake earlier when you do that. I think 8 is too late for a 6 month old. She'll nap better during the day too. As Weissbluth says "sleep begets sleep!"

I don't understand the negative comment about the crib either - when I first saw it I thought 'what an attractive crib!'