apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

A nice limb to be out on!
I have recently become a fan of Teno jewelry...
Teno.com

The sentiment expressed here reminds me of how a friend of mine knew for sure that the guy who proposed to her was right for her. First he asked to marry her, and then he said he didn't want to give her a diamond ring because so many diamonds are mined under conditions of exploitation and to provide funding for ruinous civil wars in Africa, but he'd give her any kind of ring she wanted in place of a diamond ring .... I think she wanted pearls set in platinum, or something. But she knew he shared her values when he bucked convention for the right reasons.

When my husband and I decided to get married, we decided to give each other a gift. Cause, yeah, why should the guy shell out a few thousand for a big ol' diamond and she doesn't have to spend anything? (It makes me feel like he could just as well have given my father 20 goats before he carried me off to his village.) I gave him a beautiful money clip that he carries with him to this day (he prefers not to use a wallet) and he gave me a gorgeous photo album with our names engraved on the cover.

I have a friend who gave her fiancé a fancy antique watch to match her fancy engagement ring. Apparently it was a tradition in Korea that they were continuing in the US.

My husband gave me a very similar set of rings (three, actually) designed by Elsa Peretti from Tiffany. The two engagement rings have diamonds - one has a solitary diamond that is flush with the band and doesn't stick out like those huge Cracker Jack engement rings. The second ring has a row of very small diamonds and is thinner than the other two rings. The last band has no diamonds, and is the wedding band. What's more, the diamonds are Canadian, which to me was very important since I too refuse to wear any African or "blood" diamonds. The rings are modern, discrete, elegant and timeless all at once. I am glad to hear others also feel that big diamond engagement ring trend is really pretty tacky.

all great ideas! i/we have been kicking around the idea of proposing and are not so keen on the diamond solitaire either. not to mention the attendant two-month-salary marketing madness. alternatives are lovely and much appreciated.

my boyfriend and i proposed to eachother and exchanged rings. and didn't want a big diamond, I'd rather save money for a house or a vacation.

Once upon a time when I bought an engament ring I made sure the stones where from antarctica, they were even lazer etched with little polar bears that a jewler could see if he knew where to look. Relativly invisible.

I did the cliche thing and went to 7c over 3 stones

I decided a long time ago that I didn't want an engagement ring for a variety of reasons. Not only are diamonds exploitative but the whole tradition of a diamond engagement ring is nothing more than a promotional gimmick writ large on behalf of the DeBeers diamond cartel. I also don't like the whole "20 goats to my father" feel that Tara referred to. And, on a totally shallow note, I have short fingers and don't want to wear that many rings. I've always thought that I would like for my fiance and I to take that money and buy a really beautiful bed. A bed to me feels like the center of a marriage and I'd like to start off with that center being a thing of beauty. When I find the man who gets that, he'll be the one.

My husband is an artist, so he requested a cheap sterling silver ring that he could replace periodically since he was sure he'd mess it up or loose it. I picked out a beautiful small, 1930s platinum ring with little filigree touches and two itsy diamond chips, then picked out a sapphire for the center stone. It was much easier on the wallet and it's unique.

then there is always the possibility of recycling a "family" diamond - my husband gave me his grandmother's engagement diamond from the 1930s and we re-set it in a very simple setting.

My grandmother's wedding ring was a simple 30s thing with some smallish diamonds set in a thin band. When she died, we discovered that inside it was engraved with the words "I love you truely." Adorable.

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I highly recommend it to those of you who are bold enough!:)

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The post before mine, here? I find this annoying.

Anyway, as a soon to be full time jewelry designer (been doing it part time for a while now), its nice to see lively conversation about this. My opinion: Tara: right about the 20 goats. But I also agree with Ruth about DeBeers. Total promotion from them in the beginning and its like Hallmark with these holidays. Plus, too much emphasis has been put on diamonds themselves. I see stones all the time that are more intriguing and fun to play with and nearly as expensive. A 15 C diamond could feed a city.

My husband and I exchanged simple gold bands. I paid for his, he paid for mine. We liked the simplicity of it all.

Did you know that Americans give more diamonds than other countries? Royalty never gives a ring with a diamond as a center stone.

I think the possibilities posted by readers on this are all of interest.