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MarthaWatch: Curtis Gets On Martha

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When it actually happened - recorded on Curtis' TV

Who says AT readers aren't serious? Who says we're not on the front lines of home design culture?? To counter any naysayers, we have this email from Curtis, who stormed the gates with a singular goal: meeting Martha.

And yes he did.

Here's his blow-by-blow account from yesterday morning. Thanks, Curtis!!

"Maxwell -
I DID get on Martha!

We couldn't take photos until the very end, so what I'm sending were taken at that point with my regular digital camera. I arrived at 7:40, a full 50 minutes earlier than I had to be, and there was no queue outside, so I thought I was the first one there [see flickr at right]. I showed up to the door and was rushed inside and put through an airport-style security thing with very polite and attractive staffing it.

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Curtis on the actual set with pictures
 
 
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Curtis with producer Suzanne (a very smart woman)

One checks one's coat, etc., and gets a coatcheck number and gets a couple of forms to fill out -- a release waiver thing, and another thing to let the producers know what you've brought, etc. You're also given a seating number (Mine was 19).

I was among the first to arrive, and eventually a small, thin perky, affable and very smart woman named Suzanne came around to ask people about the items they had brought in. When I showed her my pair of paint-by-number paintings of Paris and Night with West Streets and the photographs of the mural, both "after" and "at the blue lines and numbers stage", she seemed to "get it" immediately, and so after she left, the woman next to me said, "She did a huge highlighting on your sheet, so I think you'll definitely speak to Martha." Well, I was hopeful, but not convinced.

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Where it all happens

But at a certain point, Suzanne started taking certain people away and said, "Paint by numbers?" I said, "Yes?" "Come with me!" She assigned me #2 of only 5 people who would end up speaking to Martha from the audience. I was so excited I could barely see straight.

Joey the warm-up guy was this bespectacled teddy bear guy who showed us all the signals we'd need to respond to, to make the applause happen right, and when to fade out and listen to her. Another Joey, the stage manager cued HIM, and Suzanne was (wisely) coaching us
5 pre-set people to speak clearly, hold our item right in front of us, and speak quickly. Another guy put microphones on each of 5 people, and someone else placed us exactly where they wanted us along the aisle.

Jamie Lee Curtis (no relation) was the guest and she talked about Habro, for which she is the spokesperson, and all the audience members got Scrabble games!

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Curtis - wearing a mic

Anyway, I had gone there by myself, but they ended up putting me next to a blonde woman named Karen from the Mid-West who gracious took a couple of photos of me, and also held my 8"x10" photos of my mural, so I could grab them after showing my actual vintage paint-by-number paintings to the camera and to Martha.

It all went so smoothly I was ecstatic. Afterwards, they had to do some little promo things for which they still needed an audience, so by the time they let us out, the actually airing of the show was in progress (it was taped at 10am, and aired at 11am) I managed to go to Best Buy to try to watch the show on one of their TV's. (As it turned out they use some kind of closed-circuit thing to show off their TV's - so if you EVER go on MARTHA, don't go to Best Buy!) So, then I went across the street JUST in time to go into the P.C. Richards and DID see my segment like 3 minutes after I got there!


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At PC Richards looking for his appearance just after the show

They gave me a $50 gift certificate on eBay, and then gave the whole audience one, as well. So, that was a wonderful thing to have for Christmas gifts this year!

Afterwards, I did get to take a couple of photographs, which I've attached hereto, including with Suzanne.
No... none with Martha, herself. Heck, I was actually on TV with HER! That was good enough for me!!!!

- Curtis"

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Comments (10)

I was wondering why Curtis was talking so fast--now we know! What kills me about Martha is that she is so not personable...not really "talk" show material...I mean, i would have gone ballistic over Curtis's thing, but she was just like "hmm, that's nice." And it was like that with everything. I'm not a Martha naysayer, and yes, I own several of her entertaining books, but she's not really talk show material.

posted by Christine on 2005-12-07 11:27:48

Aside from the fact that Curtis is clearly miles nicer than Martha, I'd think they'd get along really well--some of Curtis's projects remind me of the credit card ad she did where she was re-tiling her pool.

posted by Joan on 2005-12-07 11:35:04

I think they rush Martha too much. She can't appreciate the stuff she's seeing.

Did you see how she had to rush the guy who wrote the book about selling everything he owned on eBay? He was shushed off the stage before he could even explain himself.

I love this show though. I hope it doesn't get cut.

posted by Chris on 2005-12-07 11:36:46

Yes, I agree that Martha isn't the most animated woman at times, but she's really talented (and picks really talented people to work for her). I know some will dispute her talent, but I genuinely think she does some amazing things.

So, I guess I'm saying that, yes, there is a happy medium, but given a choice between overly calm Martha, and say, Rachel Ray or Regis/Kelly (or whoever she is), I'll take overly calm over perky-to-the-point-of-inducing-homicidal-urges any day.

posted by Fiona on 2005-12-07 11:44:51

I watched you, Curtis, all the way in Sacramento, CA! I was lucky to catch your segment...you were competing (NOT!) with Larry King.

Don't worry about the "being nervous" part - I thought you were just adorable and clearly the most creative person of the entire group.

posted by Carol on 2005-12-07 13:19:55

I was kind of sorry that Martha was so freaked out by the woman with the doll showing the doll's behind that she kind of seemed to miss the fact that the woman managed to actually buy on eBay the VERY same doll that her developmentally disabled sister had owned when they were kids.

That was a very touching story that kind of got glossed over by that little bit of self-censorship that Martha seemed to feel the need for at the time.

But seriously, overall, the experience was really pretty amazing.

And I kind of enjoyed the fact that (of the few words that Martha got a chance to say to me), she said something like, "Is that in your house or your office?" which made me feel good to think (although for some people it probably wouldn't) that she thought it looked like a waiting room in an office. OR that she thought it looked big enough to be in a house!

And today I'm thrilled that Maxwell has put this all up here to share with you guys!

posted by Curtis on 2005-12-07 13:33:13

I was confused by the woman with the doll. I thought she was trying to say that it was so lucky that she found her sister's old doll on ebay and I was thinking "wow, what are the odds?!" But then Martha didn't seem to respond so I thought maybe I misunderstood. Apparently I didn't. Now, THAT'S a great story! Too bad Martha didn't grasp it.

posted by anne on 2005-12-07 15:41:56

Congrats Curtis! Way to go!

posted by jimkk on 2005-12-07 15:48:15

LOVED the recap, Curtis. So, so cool.

posted by Enrique on 2005-12-08 00:43:54

CURTIS,
IF MARTHA EVER HAS TO "GO AWAY" AGAIN PERHAPS YOU CAN VISIT AND HELP HER AND THE GIRLS DECORATE THE WALLS OF THE BIG HOUSE. YOUR PROJECT WAS GREAT AND YOU LOOKED COOL AND CONFIDENT IN YOUR SPEEDY PRESENTATION.

posted by PAM LEVIT on 2005-12-08 00:50:54