apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Welcome back! The substitute teachers must have gone for their Masters and their +30's, because they weren't just babysitting! But it's great to have you back where you belong!

Meanwhile, I really enjoyed both Paris and London on my fairly recent visits, but I really, truly do love New York, and for me, if there's anything slightly gritty about it that keeps the faint of heart at bay, then that's not such a terrible thing.

But, it's very sad that dissatisfaction has such a difficult time inarticulating itself in so many parts of the world that violence ends up being its sole expression. It's hard to figure out what to really be listening for.

About AT -- I don't know about it's role in the world, but for me, I think my (and others') new-found addiction to this site helps makes the case for its 'raison d'etre'. All we really feel like we have control over is what's within our own walls. And it has all the things that I like about ANYTHING I really like -- it's funny, it's (usually) friendly, it's smart, it's goodlooking and it works.

Welcome back!
If it's any consolation, the government ain't always so popular here, either. ;)

Why this blog, you wonder? Because it promotes beauty. Commerce. Home. The exchange of serious and silly ideas. Good ice cream. Art. Living green. Or not. Living on a budget. Or not. Living in a small space. Or not. (those "Or nots" are more the point...)

It gives many of us something to look forward to every day, something fun to break the monotony. It's introduced me to opportunity, and to people-- many I've never met yet who I now consider among my friends.

Those all seem like damn good reasons why AT has a role in the world. I'm glad it has one in mine.

What happenned in London is horrifying. Almost as horrible as 9/11. It's hard to find words for that barbarity.

Your musing about why we live in this city is the same that goes thru my mind every time I fly "home" from Paris. NYC has that "je ne sais quoi" that grabs you by the guts and when this happens to you, it's hard to live somewhere else. I know a few who were forced to make a choice but deep inside that NYC "thing" never leaves you. Hard to explain...

And maybe this is why AT is so important to some: You love the beauty of Paris and you -heart- NYC's grittiness. One way to combine the two is to arrange your interior/life and make it an oasis in this chaotic NY.

Welcome back MGR & SKR. The substitutes made you proud. Later on I'll tell you who deserve a treat from Paris and who's been bad. I kept a tab.

welcome home, your thoughts about being an optomistic new yorker made me think of the last line of an old, song" we'll turn manhattan into an isle of joy" that joy has to work it's way from the inside out.and AT can help us express that joy and spread it around. thanks AT for positivity on a day of negative news.

I haven't commented in a while, but here goes -
we may not be popular abroad, we may be gritty and grimy, but I know I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. The vibe that is New York can't be found anywhere but here. And the reason for AT? This is the reason. We have a place to express our opinions about everything and feel "safe" doing so. Even when we arouse the ire of others.

Welcome Home!

The last time I was in Paris I absolutley fell in love -- it is a unique and lovely city, efficient beyond comprehension, and brimming with wonderful food. What New Yorker in his right mind could not love Paris?

The one thing I will say about NYers is that they are always questioning, always seeking, always open to new and better. When I lived in LA and SF everyone always assumed I was happy to have moved, never inquired about my life in NYC -- and I think this attitude is true in most places. Here, when someone hears that you are from somewhere else, they want to know what it's like, are there jobs, what does an apartment go for, etc etc. In short, life as a NYer is a constant quest for improvement, ever onward and upward, and never ever ever settling for 2nd best. (So, a little let down for a few days apres-Paris is bound to happen!)

AT = NYC -- no offense to readers from elsewhere in the land. And in many ways, NYC represents the true ideals of the USA. Perhaps that is why, despite their hatred of our government, European tourists come to NY in droves!

Aren't people in Paris allowed to smoke everywhere? Don't they just let their dogs poop in the streets? Doesn't it suck to be a African and/or Muslim immigrant there (See _We Won't Budge_ by Manthia Diawara)? All that glimmers is not gold.

I think all large cities are not without pitfall, NYC very much included in that assessment.

Frank--
NYC may represent the true ideals of the USA (although I'm not always entirely convinced that it is *ideals* in the pure aspirational sense)...

But it is in many, many ways totally insulated (and not in the best of ways) from the realities of life elsewhere, domestic or otherwise.

There is no perfect place in this world. The two first points raised by z. against Paris are valid. But there weight varies depending on the observer: smoker,non-smoker,neutral; the poop against garbage on sidewalks. As for the last point, racism exist everywhere: Amadou Diallo could write as eloquently as Manthia DIAWARA on the subject.

And last, I am spending way too much time on AT lately...

...their weight...

Yes, but Oprah would never get thrown out of Hermes here.

Patrick (the other one), cute joke, but I am not so sure that is accurate. The treatment of minorities in New York ranks as deplorable as that in other cosmopolitan cities. Awareness of this reality is imperative for addressing and changing the face of racism.

Just my $.02.

What happenned to Oprah at Hermes-Paris happened to Oprah at Vera WANG in NYC, so give me a break.

I know first hand what racism is. The important thing for me is the way as an individual you let other people's ignorance affect you.

I insist: Diallo, Oprah etc... happens every day in Paris, NYC, London. And I do not beleive this point alone can make any of these cities win this contest.

"When I lived in LA and SF everyone always assumed I was happy to have moved, never inquired about my life in NYC"

huh???

sorry, but i respectfully disagree w/ Frank. now if you had moved from somewhere like Boise, Idaho, i could possibly see that happening, but not for other major metropolitan cities like NYC. besides, the spectacle of a NYer lamenting the alleged superiority complex of LA or SF...too funny. hey, maybe THAT'S why they never brought up the subject of life in LA/SF compared to NYC--previous experience w/ other NYers has taught us that this is (1)not always a good idea, and (2)generally unnecessary b/c often the NYer will introduce the subject (repeatedly) on their own. ;)

p.s. all in good fun--just wanted to make that clear ;)

To quote Karen Walker, "It's funny because it's true."

Carla--
"Cute joke" is all that was intended.
And, while we may note the deplorable conditions for minorities here, I think this is a great case of how insulated NYCers are in their (our) thinking... while perhaps deplorable *here*, I am guessing even more so in less "cosmopolitan" areas of the US.

Besides, I don't exactly think Oprah fits into any standard categories of any kind.

Sooj -- not sure where you found the word "lamenting" in my comment -- my point is a lack of curiosity about life in other places.

Amongst the natives, of course -- we all know SF and LA populated by ex-NYers!!!

I grew up in Manhattan. I loved my life there and the city has a special place in my heart that just can't be compared to. But I've also lived in Chicago, LA, San Fran and now Sydney. My philosophy has been that a person is only as big as the world in which they occupy so I am making a concerted effort to learn about myself, and the many cultures and cities I live amongst. Still, I have this fiercely protective streak in me when people talk about NY.

Also, don't be surprised but a lot of countries outside the US don't appreciate our government. I hear it all the time down here or anywhere I go outside the continental US.

Indeed, I am sure it is "worse" in other US cities and towns, but that does not diminish our responsibility here to be vigilant and aware of its existence here. I write for a "minority" newspaper and the instances of racist policy, actions, and crime are rampant in this "insulated" city.

When it comes down to it, does it really matter that racism may be less obvious here than in another city? Shouldn't our focus be on eradicating it, period?

Anyway, this may be the wrong forum for all of this…I’m getting back to Scavenger and snarky comments about Martha and Adler. * smile *

As a minority...(I'm half african american/half native american Sioux) I have never experienced racism anywhere as bad as back home in the US. I really don't understand it. I've been all over the world and the worst treatment was back home.

But to be honest, that's the thing I love about America. (And NYers too) is that thanks to freedom of speech even opinionated racists have the freedom to speak their peace and be heard. I may disagree with what they are saying but I'd still fight for anyone's right to express themselves freely. That's what makes the country so great. (Wow...weird moment of patriotism, I must be high or something.)

Welcome back! And may the terrorism stop already.

Carla--
Of course we should remain vigilant.
Of course it does not diminish our responsibility.
Of course it does not make it any better.
(Same goes with issues of hate against the Lesbian and Gay communities, for example...)

I'm just saying New Yorkers, on occasion, seem to forget there is a world past the bridges and tunnels. And that that world is sometimes better, sometimes worse.

NYC is beautiful. Paris is spectacular because everyone in the country of France is taxed in order to maintain the beauty of that city.

Why do we live in New York? First, Manhattan is really an island off off the coast of Europe, not off the coast of a nation filled with red states. Second, say it with me - it's the center of the freakin' universe.

Apparently, Sharon failed both Geography AND Astronomy in High School.

I flew home from Paris yesterday, too. I pondered many of the same questions. As I sit here listening to the blaring car alarms and contemplate cold cereal this morning, I realize nobody will be handing me any amazing coffee or pain au chocolat while speaking that incredibly beautiful language. I need to be reminded of beauty, so I check for it here, and always find it. No matter what sludge or alarming noise is outside. Thanks for that!

I had a unique opportunity to spend several days in rural France with a large group of Brits, who shared my shame in what's happening in Iraq. I was happy to be immune to the finger pointing on that count anyway. And yes, Americans lose points for obesity, but gain points when considering the amount of cigarettes and alcohol consumed by our Western European friends.

Not an overly emotional person, I surprisingly teared up when approaching CDG airport, not wanting it to be over. I thought so many times that the French really get things right... almost everything except the smoking.

"Second, say it with me - it's the center of the freakin' universe."

And *this* is one of the huge reasons why Americans, and their leaders, are so despised abroad.

There are great things about New York, but I think the older you get, the less charming the quality of life becomes. Personally, if the right job came along, I can think of half a dozen places I'd rather live. Helsinki, even...

pp,
I agree with you. You do reach a point/age where the grittiness, the intensity of NYC gets to you but even after moving out the NY "thing" sticks to you.

pphillip and others - Sorry, I just can't get into the anti-American, 'this is why we are hated,' 'Europe is so much better' thing. I've lived in more than 20 different cities in all regions of the United States. I also come from a family that spent several years living just outside Paris. It is indeed a lovely city. However, I was trying to inject a note of my incredible enthusiasm for New York into a discussion that seemed to have luke-warm support for the city that I am absolutely crazy about. I'm already of "a certain age" that several of you seem to think should mean it's time to get over my enchantment. But I still think New York is the greatest city in the world because it is my HOME. It has everything anyone could want culturally, it is a city of intimate neighborhoods in a thriving metropolis of ideas, business and art with a driving heart that will never allow it to stagnate. THAT is why I live in New York.

and to add to pphillipp's assessment of sharon's "friggin' center"...
Perhaps this is also why New Yorkers aren't the most popular folks with the rest of the country...

And loving your HOME is one thing... but just don't forget that LOTS of people who live elsewhere are also entitled to "loving their 'non-New York' homes."

NYC is like a virus... once you are hooked, you can leave this town. There is no denying that no matter where we all came from, this place has become our home. Something about this dirty, cynical, pretentious, racist town, I just can't get enough of.

It doesn't bother me that some people are hooked on New York and others aren't. New York needs people to be hooked on it, just like a little town in CT needs people to be hooked on it. It's reassuring proof that everyone's different. It doesn't take away from New York's validity if not everyone loves it. And whatever anyone feels about New York, either way, doesn't take away from their validity as a person.

For the record, I was not *actually* insulting's Sharon's actual academic record when I posted "Apparently, Sharon failed both Geography AND Astronomy in High School."

I was trying, in my typical smarta$$ way, to shoot down her "island off the coast of Europe" and "center of the universe" comments.

But I did it because, to me, pride of place is one (good) thing, hubris is altogether another.

Sharon:

"pphillip and others - Sorry, I just can't get into the anti-American, 'this is why we are hated,' 'Europe is so much better' thing"

First, I don't ask anyone to "get into it," but it *is* one of the reasons we are hated abroad (and not just in Europe). Listen to the discourse of not only our citizens, but of our leaders as well - "the best/greatest/most democratic/country in the WORLD." Not *A* great country, not *A* democratic country (although with Bush and Co., the jury's still out), but *THE* one and only. Do you generally hear this kind of thing from other leaders? If I'm wrong here, please tell me.

Also - where in my little sentence did you get I was saying "Europe is better"? I've re-read it, but I can't see this being a logical conclusion to what I wrote. Some of the half-dozen cities in which I'd like to live are actually in the US.

"But I still think New York is the greatest city in the world because it is my HOME"
That's kind of a tautological argument.
It is great when one loves where one has put down roots - all I'm saying is that we need an appreciation of the fact that there are others, all over the world (not just in the US, not just in Europe) who love their homes too. That does not make them "the center of the Universe."

Sorry for the perceived rancor (although it's honestly not meant as such) - I just really feel, in this day and age, that Americans need to be a bit more reflective on what it is they are saying. Not that other peoples around the world don't need to do so as well (they do), but as I'm an American, I am concerned about my country.

And I do, for the record, think I am incredibly lucky to live in *A* great country.

The anti-American rants remind me of why I no longer visit AT with any regularity - I am of a "certain age" and nothing could ever make me love NYC any less or, for that matter, America.

I THOUGHT THIS SITE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT DESIGN AND DECORATING.

Not quite the version I remember, but this song (must be a hymn?) says it pretty well...

This Is My Song

Melody - "Finlandia" Jean Sibelius, 1899


Lloyd Stone, 1934

This is my song, Oh God of all the nations,
A song of peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
Here are my hopes, my dreams, my sacred shrine.
But other hearts in other lands are beating,
With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.

My country's skies are bluer than the ocean,
And sunlight beams on cloverleaf and pine.
But other lands have sunlight too and clover,
And skies are everywhere as blue as mine.
Oh hear my song, oh God of all the nations,
A song of peace for their land and for mine.

...

Um, there aren't really *that* many anti-American rants here. (some pro-France, some pro-Paris, some pro-Oprah, some anti-smokers, some anti-dog poop, some anti-Hermes, some anti-Vera Wang, some pro-NYC, some anti-NYC, some anti-"people who think NY is superior to all places in creation", and yes, a few seemingly in support of why America sometimes gets a bad rap, here and abroad.) Which are all (imho) pertinent reactions to the original post... which I took to be a conversation about pride of place.

There are mostly some differences of opinion about where, approximately, the center of the universe lies. :)

Where are anti american rants? Here, if you are a francophile, you are an anti american, if you are against the war, you are an anti american, if you don't believe in "we are the best" shit, you are an anti american... if you have a brain to think, see, and read, you are an ....

"I THOUGHT THIS SITE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT DESIGN AND DECORATING."

It is. But since when is art and creativity divorced from the social context?

Joan, great addition. And god bless the Finns for giving us Sibelius (and marimekko)...

;)

sunae--
I meant specifically, so far on this thread, in response to CR.

Good Christ, people. For the record - I voted against Bush (twice), I hate people who wave the flag as a way of saying theirs is better than the flags of other countries. I'm against the war. I went to Paris at the beginning of it and found that no one seemed to hate me. I love VISITING Paris. I'm glad the French have stood up to Bush. No one who knows me would think for a SECOND that I'm the reason people hate Americans or Americans hate New Yorkers AND ALL I WAS TRYING TO SAY IS THAT I THINK NEW YORK IS FANTASTIC. Arrrrrgggghhh! Thanks for filling my happy AT space with icky politics which I worked around for years and from which I count on escaping when I come here.
NOW can we please go back to decorating and design?? I hereby retract and renounce any reference to New York being better than anyplace else or being the center of anything.

P.S. Now I'm going to Bed, Bath & Beyond to ogle happy Jonathan Adler things and try to cheer up.

In all seriousness, and perhaps to get a more positive spin back on this, I really would love to hear what people love about New York City (NOT to imply that I don't, or question why someone would ... I just am interested in other people's take on this city, and why we put up with some of the things we do to live here...)

Okay, I can tell you what I love about NYC. I've lived in Sydney, NYC, and Boston. I've spent a fair amount of time in a few other places, particularly in the US, but otherwise Europe and South America.

Sydney is, and will always be, my #1 spot in the world. It's a gorgeous city, and I suspect the Sydney I live in would be hardly recognisable to people who've passed through. I live a metropolitan city life something like you might live in NYC. This place is hellishly expensive to find a home, ridiculously cheap to eat and entertain, an amazing polygot of asian and european influences, and without doubt the most reliable coffee anywhere bar Europe. I love it in the kind of affectionate, dysfunctional way you love your family -- warts and all. I'm very comfortable with the shades and nuances of the Australian character, and that's a level of comfort I never feel anywhere else. There's a certain ironic wryness to Australians that feels so right, and which I've always found has to be explained to non-Australians. That's the kind of thing that makes a hometown special, and I think it goes deep within. I think that's what people mean when they speak of "the best" -- at least, it's that level of comfort and pleasure that home gives us like nowhere else. OTOH, home, like family, can cause the most acute shame. See Australia's performance on the world stage over the past few years to understand why I completely empathise with the embarassed American.

But NYC is the most exciting place I have ever lived, and if I could snap my fingers I think I'd choose to live between Sydney and NYC, with extended stays in Paris, Buenos Aires, and Tokyo.

NYC is so culturally exciting, from bookshops to delis -- and so compact (compared to Sydney, anyway). Stuff like garbage on the street bothers me not at all -- it's the stimulation that draws me, the marvellous architecture, the streetscape, the poetry. I've always lived downtown (East Village &c) but have loved staying all over. I love walking down the Bowery to Canal St -- Chinatown is the most "Sydney-ish" bit of NY to me, and where I go to when I feel homesick. Well, that and the harbour. My great passions -- literature, arts, design, music, food - are better feed in NYC than anywhere else in the world, and that's something to treasure. It's also a decently liberal place, and that's important to me, too. I [heart!] NY.

I don't know how to compare Paris and New York (or why you would). The longest I've stayed in Paris was 2 months, and that was great, mostly because I love the food, the language, and again, a beautiful streetscape. Best markets (food, antiques & bricabrac). France is all about eating to me, really.

I think the Oprah/Hermes story is a beat up, sorry. The frickin' store was closed. I see no reason to assume French racism is any worse or different to US racism; both are powerfully evident, both slippery to detect and identify, and especially in circumstances such as "mega-millionaire US tourist snubbed at door of CLOSED boutique." Oprah could see evidence of terrible, systemic racism if she were to travel outside of metropolitan Paris, but so too if she were to do so in Sao Paolo, Madrid, or (yes) Sydney. I think this is a really stupid story, and says more about Oprah's rather frightening egoism than about Paris or Hermes.

Sorry, Boston. You were nice, but I've had better. : )

(Uh, my throwing Oprah into the mix earlier was just a joke, folks.)

I'm one of your urban colleagues in London and I live and work in the epicentre of Thursday's bomb blasts. I don't mean to be rude, but all the American websites I read say that London and Londoners are "in your prayers". Well, I can't speak for all Londoners, but I for one want more than prayers. Prayers don't cut it for me. What I want is for everyone in the US who REALLY cares about the rest of the world bearing the brunt of abuse for US government policy, to lobby your congressmen, senators, the whitehouse, the newspapers and get the US out of Iraq! Until you get Bush either out of power or out of Iraq, the rest of us are doomed.

You may also want to mention that to Tony Blair.