apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Why do you hate it?

Great item on 43folders.com about a “buy me stuff capture device" used to avoid buying stuff by recording it instead of buying it:

"I have a ...“buy me stuff” capture device, but more for the purpose of outgassing my brain’s frequently mindless consumer pollution. My file is called “crap I just don't need.txt,” and I have fended off many ridiculous purchases just by parking the desired item there. Just viewing the long list of previous entries is an embarrassing exercise in aversion therapy. Not to say this always ensures a non-purchase — consumer lust has a permanent apartment in my heart — but at least it provides a satisfying speed bump on the race to the checkout screen...
I wonder how much of our (our at least my) rage for consuming could be mollified by this kind of pantomime spree. Worth a try, and it doesn’t cost you a dime to find out."

I personally capture a lot of my consumer urges either by recording them in my PDA lists, putting them in my Amazon.com shopping basket, or putting into my page on the http://del.icio.us capturing site. This is kind of like the "outbox" in Maxwell's book, an in-between place where you put stuff you're thinking of getting rid of, but you haven't quite made the decision. By putting it in the in-between place, it starts to loosen its hold on you.

Like an eBay "watch list"... I almost never buy anything on my watch list and am often faintly surprised to see what I considered urgent enough to put there.

It's funny -- I never thought of putting something on a wish list as a strategy for not buying it, but I usually don't buy the things on my to-buy lists.

I put the things that I clip out of catalogs in the place where they'll live if I ever buy them.

So, at this very moment, I have a frosted-over piece of a page from a catalog called "Solutions" or something like that, that sits in my freezer waiting for me to get around to being able to either justify spending the bucks it would take to buy the small chrome bucket thing that would sheath a pint of ice cream into before serving it, or for me to ask for it for a birthday or Christmas. I think it's been in there since before I decreased my ice cream to almost zero. I still kind of think I want one, but it's better than keeping the whole catalog sitting around.

Curtis, that's an amusing approach. I'm going to try that.

HELP! I bought a Sonno matress from DWR about 3 weeks ago and hate it hate it hate it. Now I'm trying to return it and it seems impossible, other than by freight because it's so big. That'll be $350! Has anyone tried to return one of these before?

Wow Jessica,
Sorry to hear it, but it affirms my decision against getting one after testing them in the store.

Jessica,

Those get shipped compressed and rolled in a box via Fed-ex. Virtually impossible to get it back into the same box it came in because it is also vacuum packed. Try rollinf in plastic and taping it as tight as possible to compress it as much as possible . 2 or even 3 people can help do it. Good Luck. And yes, why do you hate it?

Pixie,
I hate it because basically the heaviest parts sink into the bed first, which is fine when I'm lying on my side. But then when I'm laying on my back, my butt sinks in and my shoulders sink in and my natural inclination, unfortunately, is to arch my back. So I spend the whole night with my back arched. It's a real pain. I'm sure if I just kept my back straight then that would sink in too, eventually.

You really need to lie on the bed for a while to get the true sinking sensation. Like go to DWR and lay on it for at least 15 minutes without moving.

Thanks Jessica. This also reaffirms my decision not to get any of the foam mattresses.

Thanx, Pixie. I also have a couple of L.L.Bean catalog pages in my sock drawer in case I ever get a real bug in my bonnet to buy some new clothes of the kind they sell. Again, it's better than keep the whole catalog, and a page or two takes up like NO space in that drawer, and it's not all that mysterious where it is. At a certain point I do throw them out, if I haven't bought the stuff and it's been a long time.

By the way... I threw out SO many catalogs and I did do what Maxwell says in his book about calling catalogs to get my name off their lists. Especially since my Mailboxes, Etc. place moved across the street from itself AND changed into a UPS Store.

Jessica,

That is actually the point of the foam mattress, to evenly support your entire body and not just at the hips and shoulders as in a traditional spring mattress. Have you tried sleeping without arching your back? Why do you feel the need to arch your back? Just relax and let the mattress support you. I have a foam mattress for over 8 years and love it. Yes, there was an adjustmant period of about 3-4 days but that was it.

anon,
The arching-back-thing is really something I do unconsciously, being asleep and all. If I could stop myself I would. I heard so many glowing reports of the bed on this website that I bought it without hesitation and was quite determined to love it. Even after several weeks of aching back I thought (and still think) that the bed must be wonderful and the way I sleep must be deeply flawed.

Last night I spent the night on the couch.

Curtis, there's also the fact that many companies have their actual print catalogs avialable to view online. That makes a big difference, so you CAN look, and could print out the things you're considering, if you have a printer.

Probably works best on a zippy Internet connection, I'm on dial-up. That makes me really work to see each page, and I get bored easily. So I wander off, and don't have to deal with a paper catalog hanging around.

Pixie: check out Ultam8's idea in the current Cure thread. She has a personal style tray...for clothing and such. Makes so much sense, and it would be SOOOO easy to see that the item being considered did NOT go with ANYTHING else you like or own.

Another way to thwart consumer tactics is to measure what you have space for. You won't buy a huge ottoman when you realize you have to climb over it to get to the sofa.

Carry paint chips, that match up to your clothing and your furniture. You can carry your entire home and your major wardrobe pieces in your pocketbook. Pull them out, realize that throw pillow or pair of pants will not go with anything you own. Easy to pass by that "deal of the day" then.

Jessica,

What kind of bed frame is it on?

anon,

It's on a wooden platform. How do you think this makes a difference?

Jessica,

Is the platform firm? If there is any give to the platform, that could cause the mattress to "bow" in a way that would cause you to arch your back to compensate . Also. I have seen on beds that have slat systems where the slats are spaced too far apart, the mattress can "bleed" through the spaces on the slats and not provide proper support. Any chance of putting the mattress on the floor for one night and seeing if that makes a difference?

regarding sleeping...

have you tried sleeping with a bolster under your knees (in a sit-up) position? it's supposed to reduce the stress on your lower back.

a yoga bolster is good. rolled up towels are good. needs to be firmer than just your normal pillow.

anon,

The platform is firm, as far as I know - a pretty solid piece of wood sitting on a pretty solid wooden structure. But I will check tonight.

From your advice I am thinking of folding it in half and tying it up to within an inch of its life. That way I may be able to get it small enough to get it FedEx Ground-ed.

Uuuuh! This is such a sad story because I had so much hope! + apparently DWR wont be able to sell it again so it seems like such a waste of a perfectly good (for someone else) matress. Apparently it doesn't much matter in what state it arrives in. I am tempted to cut it into tiny pieces but I'm pretty sure they don't mean that.

Thanks anon for the advice.

Jessica, why don't you try selling it? Or are mattresses, even new ones, not a good candidate for resale.

Your welcome. And Deepa at least in NY State, there are laws re:selling used mattresses. They must be sanitized and labeled as being used.

Jessica-maybe you should try selling it on Craiglist.

Completely off-subject, but I'm looking at Mother's Day flowers (like to send them early, so she can have them all week) and feeling uninspired by ftd, 1800flowers, etc. Does anyone know of an online florist that does cool, interesting stuff? My mom runs a big arts non-profit, so I'd like to get something kind of artsy.

anna,

Best thing to do is call a florist local to where your mother is and speak to them directly.

Pixie, Deepa,

I think selling it would be harder than returning it. Who wants to buy a second-hand mattress? Esp since if I return it I will get $1100 back. And I couldn't lie so my sales-pitch would be seriously bad, like "well, yeah, I'm selling it because my back really hurts when I sleep in it" whilst I stoop over them hunch-back style (like I am now).

anna,
I use flowerbud.com, but I'm not sure if that will fit the bill for you. Another apparently good one is Calyx and Corolla.

Jessica,
Are you sure it will cost $350 by freight to ship that mattress? I shipped a mattress a few years ago, and it was only about $100, and that was for a regular, non-folding mattress.

If you'll get all your money back, you should return it, though someone would likely buy it off craigslist if you told them it was used only a couple times. $350 shipping is a lot if you can't send it by ground. It may be a wash to sell it at roughly that amount discounted, and at least someone will be using it instead of DWR tossing it in a landfill. Maybe they can recycle it?

Those mattresses aren't made for everybody. As much as I wanted to love it, I was uncomfortable on it too. Took a half hour nap on one and my arm fell asleep before I did.

Pixie

Who did you send it by? Because I have been on the phone with FedEd twice and yes, it really will cost $350. Mine is a full size. What size is yours?

It wasn't Fedex - it was a regular freight company. I definitely don't have the name anymore. It was a queen size. Has anyone else had recent experience shipping by freight?

anna--
Have you seen the Todd Oldham stuff at FTD? Some new fun things.

I actually really like FTD.com... some run-of-the-mill stuff, but they do some contemporary things.

What city is your Mom in?

Anna—

Try Kabloom's Contemporary section: here. (Love the bouquet by the moth from them... chic simple arrangements, minimal filler.

Oh dear, links didn't go through...

KaBloom: http://www.kabloomtoday.com/category.asp?rcid=6294

Red Envelope: http://search.redenvelope.com/search/controller_search.jsp?giftRes=yes&envSuff=&BV_SessionID=@@@@0863645899.1147118324@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccjaddhjkfmkdlcefecefedfgfdfmf.0&ipsResQlt=75&refPg=%2fproduct_display%2fhome.jsp&clk=2&clknum=6&nc2=1&Ntt=%2foccasion%2fmother%27s%20day%2fflowers%20%2b%20plants&N=9526&bcCat=1

Priya--

That KaBloom tip is AWESOME. Great stuff!!

And there's always Martha's Flowers, too.

Thanks Priya. I'm definitely noting for the future. Do you (or does anyone) have any actual experience with these?

Pixie—
I've never had a problem with KaBloom... great quality. Be sure to try it at least once.

The best nationwide flower service I've ever come across is ProFlowers...(http://www.proflowers.com) They carry more traditional bouquets but their quality is truly phenomenal. My boyfriend got me their roses once and they lasted an unheard of three weeks. They ship with the outer petals so the roses don't get bruised during delivery. Once you get them, just take off the outer petals, trim stems and fill vase. Great stuff.

Priya,
I just looked at the roses on proflowers and they seem cheap (compared to other sites.) Thanks for the tip.

I had a foam mattress in University - I thought it would be good for allergies, but it was terrible for sleeping on! It came with a boxspring from Sears, and was decent quality, but I think it wrecked my back. I had very horrible back and hip pain because the middle of the mattress became compressed and was not supportive. I will never ever buy or sleep on a foam mattress again! springs are for me.

anna,

I heartily second anon's suggestion: if possible, find a good florist where your mom lives and talk with them. You can offer a lot of input directly to the people who will be putting the arrangement together. I have been the lucky recipient of some amazing and unusual bouquets from my mom over the years, and that's her secret.

[note to self-- call florist...]

AJ,
Yup. My mother in law lived on the left coast and after a really disappointing episode with somebody (FTD, 1-800...?) , I just looked up the closest florist to her, explained that I would call from time to time to order flowers...And made sure I stopped in to personally say hello and thank you when i went to visit her, they could not have been nicer and the flowers were always great.

Pixie, did you just find a freight shipping company in the yellow pages (or online)? i thought shipping my mattress would be too expensive (from SF to NYC), but if it's only $100, it's so worth it. Anyone else know? Thanks!!

I actually got a Mother's Day reminder from 800 flowers, but although it prompted me to think of flowers for my mom, the truth is that she really loves Martha Stewart (even before I got on the show); so I went to marthasflowers.com and got her some roses. You get a tiny bit less shipping charge if you're versatile about when it's delivered. Mine will get there either Thursday or Friday. And you get kind of a lot of characters for the message, which is nice.

I haven't gotten a chance to try my Sonno out yet for a full night. My parents came for a vist the same day it arrived and they have been sleeping on it for the past few days. They seem to really like it. My mom would prefer something softer but I got the firm one, my dad likes a firm bed and has back problems and he likes it, but my pillow isn't high enough for him.

I didn't like my friend's softer memory foam mattress when I slept over one night, I tend to like firm beds so the firm Sonno will probably work out well for me. Time will tell though, I've just taken a cat nap on it so far.

ali,
It was a few years back and I can't remember where I found the name of the company. And since it's been a few years and fuel prices are up, I don't know what the price might be. But, it ended up being very reliable and they delivered right to my door (with a scheduled delivery time).

From the previous thread:
[Question: What is the best solution to fill in space gaps left by a window installed air conditioner ? I would rather leave the little critters of nature to the outdoors instead of visiting inside.]

I seem to have answered my own question with the temporary solution of duct tape. Black duct tape around all four sides of the unit trimmed flush with a utility knife has also guarded against drafts. Appearance is somewhat lacking but not too terrible in comparison to the original accordion extensions.

Jessica, this post is maybe coming too late, but my guess that you need some strength training/physical therapy instead of a new bed. A back that tends to arch exageratedly is called lordosis, and should be addressed sooner rather than later.

The good news is that you can probably have a very big positive impact on your posture in a relatively short period of time, and it may save you agony down the road. You will then also have a much larger choice of comfortable mattresses.

good luck!

Guys, her back was fine on her old mattress. I somehow doubt that she has become physically infirm since buying a new mattress. It's just that not all mattresses work for all people.

My back does that when I sleep on the very firm mattress my husband loves. My back is fine on all other surfaces.