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Searching for JJ--

Hi JJ--I read your posting on the mobile home and have some information for you and would also like to pick your brain. Unfortunately, I sent you an email that did not go through. Will you please email me?

Ohhhh! I get to start a thread!

I need a really great hostess gift for July 4th weekend. I was invited to the Connecticut country home for a day with some friends who are staying all weekend. The hosts are super-wealthy (I'm not!) and have very eclectic tastes.

Wine seems like a total cop-out and completely un-original.

Has anyone gotten or given a really cool hostess gift recently? Seen anything on-line that might be good?

Not sure if you would also consider this a cop-out, but when I was invited out to a friend's summer house on Fire Island last year, I sent a big basket of cookies, brownies etc., from Zingerman's - a fantastic food speciality store in Ann Arbor, MI. They have online and mail order available. My friends loved it and I got invited back this year.

I often send Wolferman's Englis Muffins as a hostess gift and people rave. I try to send them ahead of time so I get to eat some while I'm there. I'm a fan of Thomas' but Wolferman's are a special treat.

Marie -- This is a great question, and I look forward to reading the responses. I asked a similar one of a co-worker the other day. A very good friend of mine and his wife just had a baby. I wanted to drop a gift off with their doorman without intruding on their new family-time. My co-worker suggested an assortment of cookies or sweets from www.dessertdeliveryny.com. She said she received the same after she had a baby and loved them. I figured that was a good enough endorsement for me. I think it might also be a good fit for your needs. The company is located on East 55th Street, so you could stop by the store for a taste and suggestions.

The Kitchen Witch at Chelsea Market is also springing to mind. If I ever hit the lottery, I couldn't love their brownies any less.

Marie -- how about one of those "all in one" game board boxes (ie wooden box w/checkers, chess, cards, etc)? They run about $65-70 at Crate & Barrel, Restoration Hardware, RedEnvelope.com and gifty-type stores. Swankier ones come in leather cases.
If your friends are more the arty type, how about a bicycle w/a basket (pick up 2 used ones?)
I think these are nice gifts, plus its something for the summer house.

Marie-How about a selection of infused olive oils? They can be used by the hosts for food prep or snacking/bread-dipping during your stay.

ooh! all the games are on sale at RedEnvelope. Cheapest is $10
And I don't even like that store, usually. Huh.

I have a friend who is a great host but would freak if someone brought him/sent him food he didn't ask to be brought or pre-approve. And yes, he IS a great host (nonetheless).

I'd say a nice bottle of wine to get you there, a gift AFTER the stay, once you've met them, seen their house, etc, is the better way to go. Allows you to get personal with the gift. You might even get off the hook more cheaply, since the perfect gift may be in reference to something silly/funny that happened during the stay, or a shared childhood reference, or a revealed guilty pleasure. Then, the gift is the *ultimate* compliment... that you've paid attention to your host/ess.

and, ps--
You might be surprised how far just a written (actual paper!!!) Thank You note will get you, after the weekend.

p(too) - i'm curious, why does your friend freak out about non-pre-approved food gifts?

also, i've always liked the idea of waiting to choose a host gift until after you've seen the place & have a better idea of what they might like, but i've never actually done this b/c i wasn't sure if it was "acceptable". so i guess it is indeed ok to do this? (i like to give plants as gifts, but that really requires some knowledge of the host's tastes in decor, their preferences for low- or high-maintenance plants, the light levels in their home, etc.)

Patrick's right about the food gifts -- not all are welcome, esp. if the food is perishable (where am I going to put 3 dozen muffins?)
The way to go is wine first, thank you note & gift afterwards.

is it just me, or are these open threads coming along more & more often?

sooj--
My friend takes great pride in his own menu planning and culinary abilities (and rightfully so), AND he is "blessed" (as are many here) with a tiny (albeit highly organized) kitchen, with no extra room anywhere, especially when he is in full dinner party mode.

So he sees someone arriving with unplanned food as: 1) Something that throws off his menu, 2) A organizational/storage/refrigeration nightmare.

We love him dearly (and want to stay on his guest list), so I refrain from categorizing any of this as a "control issue." :)

regarding host/ess gifts--

Many shelter mags seem to do product features on innovative host/ess gifts around this time of year, so that's another place to look for ideas.

But I still stand by the idea of gifting after the stay/event, and making it personal.

I love having a place that people want to come and see, because it makes me stay motivated to keep it nice. I'm slowly getting in the swing of having things on hand to serve; I actually have a coffee maker. I don't really want liquor around, but my vaguely Parisian-ish Late Deco place looks like the kind of place where wine should be served, so I finally have a corkscrew.

But, seriously... people have told me that once I get my place like I want it to be (which it now REALLY is) that I should have a housewarming party.

But ... a housewarming sounds like the kind of thing where people think they need to bring some kind of gift. And although this is the biggest apartment I've ever lived in, it's still a studio apartment, and space is still finite, and I am KIND of like the friend of Patrick (the other one), and to me, an evening of people bringing me gifts that I did not select would be an embarassment of the exactly wrong riches.

However, my boss always thinks of the exactly perfect gifts. She went to Disney World and brought me what? A set of three tiny little tins of coffee that had very retro little labels. So, at whatever point that those three little adorable things with old-timey Mickey and Donald on them with graphics that look inspired by the old Chock-Full-o-Nuts coffee tins begin to wear out their welcome on the counter next to my coffee pot (in a kitchen that they look VERY much at home in), I need only use the contents and throw out the tins, and every piece of their purpose will have been fulfilled!

Thanks everyone for great ideas!

While two bikes seem a little too "much" - I do like the idea of the olive oils, and maybe cookies.

Not knowing how long they are going to stay at the country house after the weekend, I hesitate to buy a plant that might need some care they cannot provide there, or want to lug back into the city!

I would appreciate great bathsoaps as a gift. Olive oil or coffee beans would work, too.

Olive oil -- now THAT's a fantastic idea! Because, for one thing, they come in beautiful bottles that often rival those for wine. You don't have to wonder whether they drink; whether they drink wine; or whether they hate your taste in wine. You KNOW that olive oil is healthy, so it's really a very sincere way of "toasting" their health.

I vote for bringing wine and sending a gift with a Thank You note afterwards. My hubby always insists on bringing a shitload of food stuff to parties and that always embarasses me. When I'm invited, I always ask, "Can we bring anything?" and usually the answer is "no" or "something to drink." So, I take them at their word and don't feel that any additional stuff is necessary. I think it's fine to call my friends from the corner deli and see if they need us to pick up some ice on our way in, but I feel that his bringing food implies that we think the host needs help or can't throw a party right. I tried to explain it to him but he always feels that guests should contribute. I suspect this comes from when he was younger and poorer and people threw "potluck" parties. Once we brought so much food, I felt as if we'd taken over my friend's party. Another time we wound up bringing tequila, Cointreau, limes, etc., and my hubby commandeered the host's blender and was totally in her way -- turns out he and I were the only ones drinking margaritas anyway. I was so embarassed. We just got an invite for next weeknd and I intend to reign him in!

A French friend of ours from St. Bart's arrived at our house on Fire Island with a beautiful basket containing: bunches of Fines Herbes (definitely for cooking, and they got used up in short order), a stack of beautiful hand painted cocktail napkins,and a bottle of very good red wine wrapped in one of the cocktail napkins ....... Very simple, edible and usable. The whole thing was set up to look like a flower arrangement, and I know it didn't cost much at all, but it was the thought behind it that touched us.

Olive oil gets my vote. I like Nicolas Alzari oil. It's from Provence, is delicious, comes in a beautiful summery yellow and blue can (two sizes available, and isn't widely availabe (either Kitchen Arts and Letters - it's the only foodstuff he carries) or Citarella. I would give it with a pretty bowl for dipping.

Curtis,

Don't label it a "housewarming" party. I too think that label reeks of "bring gifts."

Just throw a party.

Curtis--
Call it a "housewarming party" to your rich friends with impeccable taste.
Call it a "party" to everyone else you invite. :)

And, hey, since I seriously doubt I or some of my "fellow" posters will ever have the opportunity for a wedding registry or the slew of "shower events", what's wrong with a little aggressive gift solicitation via a housewarming party?!? :)

I'm kind of enjoying having just a few people over at a time; it's much more manageable, and by it being kind of frequent, it makes me keep the place looking pretty decent-looking. Maybe I'll get ambitious and throw some kind of fete someday.