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#23 - Jaime's Date Ready Pad

Name: Jaime
Location: Columbia Heights, Washington DC

Size: 650 s/f Row House Flat

Favorite resource:

Fashion, Retail and hospitality design, and new materials

What inspired you?

Natural materials, open gallery-style rooms and Gucci clothing

 
 

3-15-jaime-living-to-sleepi.jpg
2- living-to sleeping

Design Tip:

Good design, at its peak, is about keeping you and your guest (date) comfortable, entertained, therefore

“Design is about getting laid”

3-15--jaime-3-kitchen.jpg
3- kitchen

3-15-jaime-living-skylight.jpg
4- living skylight

3-15-jaime-at-night,-ready-.jpg
5- at night, ready for date

3-15-jaime-floorplan.jpg

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Small Cool 2006 - entries

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Comments (141)

According to my calculations using the measurements in the floorplan, this space is 663.8 sf, so it is over the size limit

posted by b on 2006-03-15 14:29:39

Subtract the stairway space, which is outside the apartment.

posted by Frank on 2006-03-15 14:31:54

Methinks you've been drinking too much Courvoisier.

posted by andy on 2006-03-15 14:32:00

I really don't like this space at all. It's too cluttered and the decor does not maximize the potential of the space. Bed is awkwardly placed and looms in the middle of the room. I think this person should consult an interior designer to sort it all out.

posted by tuck on 2006-03-15 14:32:06

puhlease!!!!! your space is nice, but i seriously doubt you get that much action.

tone it down, horn dog.

posted by kelly on 2006-03-15 14:35:53

i would do you with that apt. i think it is perfectly set up for what you want. and i love the red couch, the flat screen at the end of the bed - i love it all. it might be more cluttered then other entries but also loks to me to be the one that I most want to hang out in and have a few drinks.

posted by hanna on 2006-03-15 14:37:37

Frank, oops, my bad. Thanks for pointing out my error.

posted by b on 2006-03-15 14:37:48

I would definitely do you too.

posted by Jessica on 2006-03-15 14:41:49

This isn't too cluttered. There's a good balance of showing items of personal taste (art books, decorative objects) and of having space to navigate the different living areas.

Is there a skylight there? Beautiful, high ceiling.

I like the arrangement of the globe light pendants and the living area, in general (the placement of the coffee table at a diagonal to the sofa seems a bit precious).

The bedroom area looks like it'd be nice and dark for sleeping in (or doing decadent things), but it sucks all the light out of the space. What is that right "wall" thing? It looks like it could be copper, but there's lights glowing through it, so is it glass? It's beautiful.

For my personal taste, overall, everything's a bit too dark brown/black, red, and severe-looking. Those kitchen stools look so glam and uncomfortable. However, I do like the confidence you show in your choices and arrangement. I also like that you didn't hang anything over the sofa and just left that wall bare.

It's definitely very male, urbane bachelor and expensive-looking. Almost a bit eighties, early-nineties European sensibility. Those spotlights along the wall are too cold and harsh, gallery-ish.

posted by jax on 2006-03-15 14:44:31

I'm not trying to be a party pooper here, but B is right. Do the math yourself. The extra work room pushes this floorplan past 650. Great space? Yes. Under 650? Does it comply with the contest rules? No.

posted by not a party pooper on 2006-03-15 14:44:49

LOL. Design is about getting laid! (I used to refer to my post-break-up studio in a high-rise as "the bachelor f***-pad".) This space is fantastic. Loving the mix of textures and colors going on. Clever lighting solutions that preserve the integrity of the beamed ceilings. Yeah, I'll do you too, Jaime.

posted by Enrique on 2006-03-15 14:46:34

Me too.

posted by Mike on 2006-03-15 14:46:55

Scratch that comment. Staircase. I'm still not sure it's under 650, but it's close I guess.

posted by not a party pooper on 2006-03-15 14:47:22

Doesn't look cluttered - just looks like somebody actually lives there. I could do without the awful flowers though.

Nobody wants to do Felix Unger.

posted by littledebbiet on 2006-03-15 14:47:51

Here's what I love:
1. The ceiling.
2. The kitchen island with the lights above.
3. The black chairs.
4. The big drape at the end of the bed.
5. The bed used as a divider. I think it works really well.

Here's what I dislike:
1. The red sofa. I like a red sofa, but I don't like that one in particular.
2. The pillows on the red sofa.
3. The flowers in the vase between the black chairs.
4. The wall to the side of the bed with the console table covered in pictures. It does feel a little cluttered since it's so close to the table behind the bed. I would have put the big red painting there.
5. The big red painting.

posted by breckinridge on 2006-03-15 14:48:10

Love it. Love the colors. Love the materials. Love the look.

If I lived here, the only change I would make is to clear the surfaces and put the pics on the wall, and books on some sleek minmal shelving.

Keep the stuff, just keep the table surfaces clear.

posted by JenPDX on 2006-03-15 14:48:37

Okay -- I was so obsessive that I did the math on a spreadsheet. With the work space but minus the staircase, the total square footage is about 633.65 feet. It's under the 650 limit.

posted by wende in san francisco on 2006-03-15 14:52:01

I love it. I would also do you. :) It actually looks like someone lives here, which is refreshing.

posted by Jessica M on 2006-03-15 14:54:24

I love it. I think it is a great mix of cool and homey. I espcially covet the kitchen island and the lighting above.

For some reason, the last picture makes me feel claustrophobic, though. It might be the lighting or just taking it all in.

posted by avocado on 2006-03-15 14:55:51

Nice to see more DC entries. The place does seem a bit cluttered (but I'm not one to talk), and a bit dark, but I too love the ceiling. I've got a question, through. I recognize the familiar old joists and rafters of a DC townhouse roof. And the description suggests there's a skylight (and I think I can just see where it is), so I'm kind of assuming this is the top floor. If so, where's the frickin insulation? Normally, it would be between the rafters and roof joists, or at least laid in between the roof joists. Is there another floor above you, or is this place an icebox in winter (and an oven in summer)?

posted by pilgrim on 2006-03-15 14:57:54

C'mon...I don't think you guys are being fair.

To begin with...this is far from a great apartment. In fact, it's pretty crappy. Look at the size of the front windows!!! And there's no window behind the other curtains!!!

And in spite of that, in spite of the total lack of inspirational bones (except for the ceiling, although it could easily be too oppressive), Jaime has managed to make it something special. The globe lights are fantastic.

posted by Jessica.2 on 2006-03-15 14:59:41

I really like the kitchen area. I like that stove, sink, etc. are hidden behind the bar. The red painting is great. It's a pretty cool space. All your 'action' talk makes me curious to judge you superficially.

posted by rr on 2006-03-15 14:59:47

Speak for yourself, littledebbiet!

posted by Jeffery on 2006-03-15 15:00:23

the living room and kitchen are great, but what happened to the bedroom? I guess this date's not going to have a happy ending?

posted by beeatch on 2006-03-15 15:03:39

the living room and kitchen are great, but what happened to the bedroom? I guess this date's not going to have a happy ending.

posted by beeatch on 2006-03-15 15:04:23

I totally dig it. That big splash of art in the otherwise minimal kitchen is a great look. The bed looks awfully high though (like an altar?) Nice balance of light and dark with hits of color. Gor for tiger lilies next time though - the orange would look better :)

posted by Trish M. on 2006-03-15 15:04:30

Wende, I think you just saved a lot of us from taking out our calculators. Keep that spreadsheet accessible for future entries.

posted by Malaika on 2006-03-15 15:05:33

I don't get "cluttered" from this (and echo Ruth on another thread: "There's no pleasing you people" regards to "stuff = cluttered", and "no stuff = no one lives there, or if they do they are cold-hearted and anal-retentive. Or lying, with their stuff piled just out of camera range"...).

Anywho...

But something about the reds, slickness of material and black leather/black finishes is not jiving with the raw elements of the space for me.

I could see this being REALLY amazing by taking more cues from the space itself, and going much more modern organic/Kelly Hoppen. Still "layable", still masculine, but a little fresher. And not quite so Swingers. Or American Psycho.

I agree about the flowers.. not that you shouldn't have 'em, but they need to be bolder, more architectural. Unless these are left-over bridesmaids bouquets, you wedding crasher, you.

But if it's getting you laid as is, and you like with whom, then don't change a thing. :)

And as far as "doing him," what size Gucci loafer we talkin'?

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-15 15:07:17

The bed's behind the black wall. It's a studio that's been separated into different spaces.

I think design is about getting laid without looking like you're trying. That last picture just looks like he's trying to hard. I kind of like this space but there's something off-putting about it.

posted by Ruth on 2006-03-15 15:08:47

i love this pad and the fact it's date ready (naughty). at night you would want your place to look warm and soft. the last pic made me think of barry white's 'ecstacy' playing and those wall lights flashing.

posted by dani on 2006-03-15 15:09:25

It is a little cheesey 90's contemporary, but the space is arranged very well. The scale of the furniture and the way it coordinates creates a thoughtful, coordinated design, but the red leather and black laquer motif definately betrays this person's intention without reflecting much personality.

posted by AMLitt on 2006-03-15 15:10:41

Interesting space and very different for DC. I, too, am wondering about the ceiling...It seems very exposed! I really like the kitchen and sleeping areas though, nice job!

Also, where did you get the spotlights? I've been looking for something similar, but smaller.

posted by asd on 2006-03-15 15:12:02

god, i love those globe lights.

posted by bri on 2006-03-15 15:13:48

the problem here is a less a design problem than it is a planning problem.
the interiority of the living space is scary... feelngs of claustrophobia are inhanced by the high counter of the kitchen on one side and the bedhead back wall on the other.
it would be a much better plan if the kitchen was located in the middle of the space and the living area was up against the window... providing that was an option, and it probably was.
...the bed orientation scares me too. a lot. flip it please, and put up against the other wall, or something.

posted by r on 2006-03-15 15:16:08

This is really lovely. I do think that with that much square footage you can afford to have a divider between the living and bedroom areas. I actually think you are less likely to get laid if your bedroom is out in the open like that - at least if you're trying to lay women - not sure about how a guy would react.

Whoever doesn't like the red couch is smoking crack ;)

I agree the framed pictures could be spaced out better. maybe hang some up on the wall and have others resting on the console table. It does look a bit cluttered there.

As to the rest of the place, i disagree about it being cluttered. I think it strikes a good balance. It's very cosy, but also very modern looking.

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-15 15:23:06

I think the potential of this space isn't fully realized because of the placement of the bed. I agree with others that with such a large space, you could really mock up a separate bedroom.

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the fact that the rear window (on the wall by the bed) is COVERED UP- that's what bothers me most about the apartment.

posted by elisabeth on 2006-03-15 15:28:18

Cluttered? I'd call this one "just right" on amount of stuff. There are normal things needed to get through the day (and places to put/hide normal things), plus a handful of objets chosen to punctuate the design.

(Now, the super-minimalist room with wooden bowls on the floor -- that's what I call clutter. One shouldn't trip over one's objets d'art, unless one collects shoes, and probably not even then.)

I totally concur with everything p(too) said, thus proving that my taste is not hopeless after all.

posted by wende in san francisco on 2006-03-15 15:28:57

This is a great space. It's not cluttered, it's got a nice amount of thoughtful things. Clutter is having a bunch of crap laying around and stuffed away. There is a happy median between the pack-rats and the "I have one lamp and it is all I need because it's the Platonic ideal of a lamp. And one set of dinner ware because no one ever comes over." crowd.

This space is hot. But all the real ladies men have projectors with hidden screens. Hide that TV and put a projector on your ceiling. Then have the screen lower down when you hit a button.

posted by Max on 2006-03-15 15:31:19

Oh and the globe lights are fab - as is the red painting. very dramatic.

After some consideration, I would flip the bed around against the other wall in front of the curtains, and put some kind of divider between the living and bedroom area. In the best of all possible worlds, i would incorporate the t.v. into the room divider on a swivel stand so it could be viewed from both the bedroom and living room (not my original idea - it was done in one of the other entries).

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-15 15:31:55

The only thing I like are the rafter beams on the ceiling, probably because all I can think about on this horrible, horrible day is godamned hanging myself.

posted by Jonathan on 2006-03-15 15:32:59

The bed is behind a high headboard/divider so its not readily visible from the living area though you might want to screen it slightly more if you can see it from the entry door. Not sure but is that a giant flat panel TV at the foot of the bed? There are a lot of things I like about this space especially the red couch.

posted by jimkk on 2006-03-15 15:37:15

I love those ceilings!

posted by guido on 2006-03-15 15:37:56

With the obsessive attention to detail typically displayed by the readers here, I can't believe no one has commented yet on the mirror being moved into the "sleeping" area in the date-ready picture!

posted by another DCer on 2006-03-15 15:38:17

OK, as one of the people who used the word "cluttered," I should correct myself. That's the wrong word. It's not cluttered in the sense of having too many trinkets or knick knacks (or dirty clothes or garbage) around. It just feels crowded somehow -- a little closed in, but not exactly cozy either. One reason seems to be that it's pretty dark (not just having windows only in front, but the dark ceiling and headboard contribute to this as well). Maybe that explains it. Still, this is one of the largest entries (as indicated by the debate over whether Jaime has been doping his apartment, and the ruling by officials that no banned substances were present in its bloodstream), but somehow doesn't feel open and large. It's still a nice place, though -- and I'm pretty sure Jaime's 650 sf costs less than those 300-footers in Chelsea and the Village. DC's gotten crazy expensive, but it's still kind of a bargain.

posted by pilgrim on 2006-03-15 15:45:07

Umm, okay then. I like the globe lights and the vibrant red piece of work you have up.
But, if you believe that design is only about getting laid, then I feel very, very sad for you.

posted by Elaine on 2006-03-15 15:45:48

You guys are great!! I love reading your comments. Thanks, Lorne from Nashville

posted by lorne on 2006-03-15 15:54:40

HAHA I thought I was the only one who caught the mirror, but then I thought perhaps there are two mirrors.

Liking the kitchen a LOT. Great layout, perfect for an open plan like this. I have kitchen layout envy. The colors are right up my alley, too.

Re: the lighting, the globes get an A+. The gallery lighting is being underutilized. It's generally advised with halogen fixtures like that to light 'things' not 'space'. There's some cool looking things on those shelves by the bed, give em their chance in the spotlight. Angle them down a bit more to reduce that hotspot 'what used to be there on the wall' look.

The bed with the TV at the end--awesome. I have a similar setup but mine is a 15" LCD on the wall. My main TV is in the living room area. It's funny last night Sex and the City was on, and I noticed that when Samantha has the girls over, they watch TV on the bed.

What material are the floors and that wall with the bathroom door on it?

posted by Joey on 2006-03-15 16:01:01

Elaine, he doesn't need your sadness, he's getting laid like no tomorrow! You know what you need to cheer yourself up? A visit to Jaime's Fortress of Sexitude.

/I kid because I love

posted by Max on 2006-03-15 16:03:03

I'd like to see the "work" area -- is it an enclosed porch? What is nice about the "cook" area is that it is so unobtrusive, not a high priority driving the design. Is everything stored in the pantry, then? Did the present owner build that closet, and out of what? The walls just seem to glow.

posted by only on 2006-03-15 16:15:28

but i disagree, the layout doesn't work very well at all. sadly jaimie is only going to get laid by the women (or men) that are spacially impaired, insensitive or those that wear glasses that have milk bottle bottoms for lenses.!!!

i like the design of the apartment, generally speaking. its pad enough to get laid, but the planning is fundamentally arse backwards. sorry

posted by r on 2006-03-15 16:25:43

Does no one here appreciate irony or hyperbole?

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-15 16:30:04

Don't love the layout, but I can't get those black chairs out of my mind. Out of all the things to have sex with in this apartment, I would probably choose those.

Any idea where I can get some of my own...?

posted by J on 2006-03-15 16:37:15

yes, i am sure many of us appreciate irony, and hyperbole.
what do you think is hyperbolic or ironic about this pad? i am curious. based on what i see here, i suspect jamie is taking his desire to get laid very seriously.

posted by r on 2006-03-15 16:38:10

"Does no one here appreciate irony or hyperbole"

jonathan has told us he does.

posted by pphillipp on 2006-03-15 16:39:48

Yeah, I don't get the question, either... what made you ask, NT?

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-15 16:43:19

I like that the tv is not in the seating area. Too distracting when company is over. But I hope the stereo is in the seating area somewhere.

Interesting that the bed is not in the bedroom. I think most people would consider that extra work room a bedroom. But you don't want to be fumbling with doors or navigating to another room when the action starts!

posted by another bachelor on 2006-03-15 16:44:40

I like it very much, although I do think it can be improved. I would increase the size of the divider at the head of the bed. It'd promote privacy and make the bed just a little more subtle.

I'd also move the grey curtain from the far wall to the sleeping area side of the long wall. And hang an oversize b/w photo in a white frame in the middle.

As a tall man, I love the height of the kitchen counter. (I originally thought it was a bar!) I agree with P2's comments on the flower situation. Generally, I saw well done.

posted by Doug on 2006-03-15 16:45:44

Hey maxwell, you spelt my name wrong!

posted by jamie pup on 2006-03-15 16:50:05

I think most of the furniture in this space is really ugly. I think someone described it as "cheesy '90s." That sums the style up nicely.

There is too much pointless, boring, "decorative" crap everywhere.

A guy who tries too hard is a real turn-off. Way too much ego here. Does nothing for my libido.

posted by Jeffery on 2006-03-15 16:52:19

I LOVE those globes and I love their configuration. I think the ceiling is kind of great, too. I love the bar and its stools. I'm majorly digging that red painting and I think those pillows on that sofa connect it nicely with the painting, no kiddin'.

There are SO many kinds of flowers I would prefer instead of those lillies. Am just hoping that those aren't words that I'm seeing on the artwork that hangs between the windows, because I'm liking it just fine while I assume that it's not.

I think the back of that bed reads as a pony wall, which I think is just fine, thanks, and having it turns toward the wall like that makes it look cozy to me, and I have no objection to a guy (or anyone) being honest about what they're trying to achieve with their design "even" if it's getting laid.

posted by Curtis on 2006-03-15 16:57:22

"And over here, is my boom boom room..."

posted by Christine (the one in DC) on 2006-03-15 17:00:31

I just don't understand how anyone can take the statement "design is about getting laid" literally. It's obviously an exaggeration.

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-15 17:00:33

Are you sure, NT? I mean, look at that place.

posted by Jeffery on 2006-03-15 17:03:36

alright, even if it's not, which I think it is, I guess I found the "I feel sorry for you" comment a tad judgmental. Maybe I'm just grumpy and sleep-deprived.

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-15 17:11:34

oh puh-lease, had your beau jonathan siad the same #$@%ing thing, you'd be all goo-goo ga-ga giggly and rushing to his defnese.

posted by notme on 2006-03-15 17:16:51

Why is "design is about getting laid" more ludicrous or ironic than the popular "my home is my refuge" or "my kitchen is the heart of my home" or even Corb's "a house is a machine for living"?

I applaud anyone who knows what he or she is designing *for*, regardless of whether I agree on the goal or love the outcome. At least the design makes its occupant happy.

posted by wende in san francisco on 2006-03-15 17:18:17

"Why is "design is about getting laid" more ludicrous or ironic than the popular "my home is my refuge" or "my kitchen is the heart of my home" or even Corb's "a house is a machine for living"?

exactly. and what's wrong with getting laid?

posted by pphillipp on 2006-03-15 17:51:41

Wende, about five years ago a friend of mine was looking for an apartment here in San Francisco. He looked at one place that was still occupied. The main room of the studio included one piece of furniture: a king-size four-poster bed with a canopy and all sorts of Folsom St. accoutrements dangling here and there. Nothing else.

Now, THAT's design to get laid. Straight (so to speak) to the point. What we're seeing above is more like a parody of seduction.

Jeffery

posted by Jeffery on 2006-03-15 17:55:29

Wende - I'm not saying it's ludicrous. I'm saying it's an exaggerated statement for the purpose of emphasizing a point. If he literally believed the only purpose of design was getting laid, then it would mean no other factors would impact his design decisions (such as comfort, work-space, storage, etc.) I just don't think that any human being is that single-minded about anything, even getting laid. So, I don't understand why anyone take it literally, rather than taking in the somewhat light-hearted spirit with which it was intended. If the poster who made the "sorry for you" comment, meant that in a humorous way, instead of a superior disparaging way, then I apologize for misunderstanding. It came off as judgmental, but perhaps it was not intended.

And Notme - I don't know if you are joking, but if no, I would appreciate if you would not slander me. As I've repeatedly said, I am in a committed relationship and I have never acted improperly towards anyone on this site, including Jonathan. In fact, my motives for defending him are similar to my motives here - that his humorous statements were being misunderstood and taken too literally by some people on the forum.

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-15 17:59:41

Re: Designs to get you laid. 1) There was recently a property listing in Santa Monica (referenced on Curbed LA) that had a stripper pole in the living room. 2) One of the studio condo apartments in my last building at one time had a round bed in the middle of the room, facing a small, raised stage. (It has since been remodeled.)

Re: Jaime. Turns out he and I have a mutual friend. (Small world, huh?) And if this mutual friend is typical of the caliber of his dates, then Jaime must deliver the goods. (And, no, Patrick... I didn't ask about the size of the Gucci loafer.)

posted by Enrique on 2006-03-15 18:11:18

Design is about getting laid, eh?

I don't see a night stand or table anywhere near the bed. Where are you suppose to keep your condoms?

posted by mod haus on 2006-03-15 18:18:04

Um.......

I assumed that jaime was a girl with a real amusing party girl SATC sense of humour. I've known a couple jaime's that spell their name that way, and I kinda like this place. Especially the bed - it looks like the kind of place I'd love to lure a sweet guy into when I invite him over 'for coffee' -

To me, it looks sexy, dramatic, a little like a stage set - but I can imagine being a woman who would live in this sort of place -

and I like the bar/kitchen thing, and love the red couch.

posted by rachel (in denver) on 2006-03-15 18:18:41

But, obviously according to enrique, I am wrong. :)

but my opinion still stands...or sits, or curls up on that big bed to watch Fellini films and not fear spilling wine on the sheets.....

posted by rachel (in denver) on 2006-03-15 18:21:29

Simply love it!

posted by Tyson Williams on 2006-03-15 18:23:51

yes kindly do not slander New Tenant. Despite the fact that I have never actually met her, have no idea what she looks like, acts like, how old she is and despite that I cannot, in fact, be sure she is biologically a woman - I am nonetheless ready to leave my wife, child and townhouse for her. because she is the only one on this miserable site with a textured, dark sense of humor. Unlike the rest of you wretched chimps.

New Tenant understood that, while on its face the sentence "design gets you laid!" appears moronic, the sheer exuberance of the way it is written makes it OBVIOUSLY a joke. That someone would write that is OBVIOUSLY a joke. Once again I am stunned - STUNNED - by how profoundly stupid you people are, and how much I HATE YOU. Do NONE of you have a sense of humor? Do you walk around like prim-faced librarians all day?

All of this is so depressing.

We just put the kid to bed and I am going out to Tempo for dinner with the wife. I will pretend to have a good time but the whole time I will be sitting there seething about you people.

posted by Jonathan on 2006-03-15 19:45:57

And yet, somehow, my evening just got that much better.

The more I think about it, the more I like this one.

What is the partition on the right of picture 5? Is it a piece of backlit fabric? It brings a lot of warmth to the space.

posted by avocado on 2006-03-15 20:11:49

He does not need to keep condoms, the dates bring them en masse in heaving-breath anticipation :)

posted by Joey on 2006-03-15 20:28:27

Avocado - it looks to me like a piece of backlit parchment - is that possible?

I was in Tokyo last year and was in many sake bars that used parchment just beautifully - long stretches of it in slightly different shades, backlit in different areas. I wish I had taken pictures because I never see anything quite like it here in NYC.

Off I trot. Ciao. JAK

posted by Jonathan on 2006-03-15 20:32:53

I'm curious roughly where this is in Columbia Heights — definitely a step up from your normal D.C. row house.

posted by Jed on 2006-03-15 21:06:10

Joey--
Or, he just wears one ALL THE TIME. :)

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-15 21:10:11

New Tenant--
Um, perhaps sense of humor is all relative, and can still piss someone off if not taken with the proverbial grain of salt? Seems like the comment directed to you (obviously a joke) rubbed YOU the wrong way, perhaps the same way our chinese-knock-off-buyin', self-loathing friend's comments also apparently do, to others...?

Enrique--
You disappoint. I thought you were a "shoe man." ;)

Jonathan--
Then, if this NOT about getting laid, I want to vote again...

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-15 21:16:16

you're right patrick. I'll give notme the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a joke, and not a mean-spirited, cowardly pot shot spewed at me from behind the safety of a computer screen by someone trying desperately to compensate for his presumably small anatomy.

Gosh, I feel better already. It's so much better just to take the high road in these matters, don't you think :)

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-15 21:28:19

The measurements issue brings up an important question:

Is it most proper (especially for this contest) to calculate square footage by multiplying the "inner wall to inner wall" distance times the "inner wall to inner wall" distance?

Or is it most proper to add 6 inches to each inner wall distance (total of 12 inches) before multiplying length times width?

posted by PPan on 2006-03-15 21:34:47

You might want to get some Museum Gum to hold the items on the console table on the other side of the headboard while you're banging away. Breaking a bed is a kick, but don't go overboard.

posted by Jean on 2006-03-15 21:45:49

God, this is the most entertaining string I've ever read on this site. I love AT! I can practically cancel my HBO subscription.

posted by carson on 2006-03-15 22:28:23

New Tenant--

Funny-- and revealing-- that you assumed not me was a man...

But glad to see you rose-- or is it sunk?-- to the challenge.

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-15 23:13:26

I'm back from dinner. Which I'm sure in a fit of stress in the middle of the night I will vociferously vomit up.

Patrick: do those sofas i ordered just suck? seriously what do you think. i realize the website is just horrendous but how do you think they will look

posted by Jonathan on 2006-03-15 23:41:08

the couch/pillows are taking away from the whole apartment, seems unfair to not like it cause of one piece of furniture

posted by LaDonna on 2006-03-15 23:57:02

Dear God, don't cancel HBO. Sopranos baby. Reason alone. Biggest Jerseyest. Love.

posted by Joey on 2006-03-16 00:02:10

P2 - I did debate whether notme was male or female. I figured only a guy would bother to launch an unprovoked rude personal attack against a total stranger. It usually takes a bit longer for women to work up the energy to be really obnoxious. :) I'm just kidding - assuming notme was male just made for a better joke.

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-16 00:50:33

First of all: I had fun reading you guys going at this. Too funny! Of course is a hyperbole!

Below are my responses, and i took the time to adress mostly all comments.To begin, some clarifications in general to all:

- I am a 30yo, gay male, in a relationship –sorry beautiful girls!
- “Jaime” is a Spanish name. “Jamie” is an Anglo name, right?
- I renovated my house in 2002 and since it HAS been shag-approved- believe me! -I had to start kicking them out-
-flowers, I got the best Whole Foods sold few days before. They are just flowers- Who cares!
that said:

Tuck - hiring an interior designer would make this place HIS work, not MY home. I do my own work.
Kelly - (male or female?) keep doubting Â…
Hanna, Jessica, Jessica M- thank you. Come over for some Amaretto! (But: canÂ’t touch this!)

Jax - yes, there is an operable skylight that leads to the roof. To capture the essence of a space, at night, with a regular digital camera, without professional lighting, believe me is hard, so the lighting effect is not even close to reality, but it feels very warm, cozy, snuggly, and is accentuated by the translucent mica wall that encloses the closet. This wall panel is backlit, so at night, that is my mood light: an amber glowing wall surface. Skin looks great under that light, am telling you!
I have to defend the spotlightsÂ…again, they dim and I like the spots on the wall. Hanging pictures will produce long shadows which I donÂ’t like (I tried it)

Enrique, Mike - drinks? Enrique, which friend in common do we have?

Pilgrim- now here is somebody who gave it a thought! You are right, is the second floor of my home (I rent the first floor) which has EPDM insulation over the old roofing. It works well, but is not as highly efficient as standard BATT insulation. When I had the ceiling removed I decide the look -and volume- of the roof was so amazing, I hat to leave it exposed and compromise on the insulation. Since itÂ’s a small space, the HVAC does a great job keeping the space comfortably, even under some HOT actionÂ…LOL. By the way, it is going on the market, so I will let you know how it compares to NYC.

Jessica 2 –Please understand this is a row house in DC and most of the houses in this ‘hood are Victorians or federal style like mine, which have this type of fenestration. It is what it is. Also, behind the green silk drapes, there is another south exposed window you can see, and a glass door leading you to the very-bright studio. I closed the drapes for picture/glare purposes.

Trish M – I am very tall (6’4”) so I custom made my kitchen counter, bath vanity and bed to be taller than normal so I don’t shrug. My short friends make fun of me….I could look like a giraffe at a pond sometimes

Patrick (the other one)- what size of shoes does a 6’4” man should wear? Thanks for your “clutter” comments. Kelly Hoppen- thanks for the tip- I have never heard of her before- I like her stuff, though I see the same wenge wood finish as my furniture. Your vote is mine already!

Dani- (male?) you are invited!!! =)

AMLitt- sofa is not red leather, but fabric. You re the first one to ever say this place has no personalityÂ…am curious now.

ASD- got the lamps in Montreal. You should have seen the face of the guars at customs when I was at the airports!

R- The kitchen on the center? No way Jose! I have to get back at you and say you are the one with a planning problem. Give it a thought again. Sorry.

New Tenant- here is another smart guy. You sound like my realtor. A divider between living area and bedroom will abruptly break the space and the roof will not have the effect it has now: a continuous surface unifying everything underneath it. The single-space layout is what makes it feel larger. BTW: From whom am I suppose to enclose myself in the bedroom, if is just me and him in the apartment? And if there is somebody else in such case, it would be called “3 is company” to say the least. If you flip the bed to the wall, it will look into the bathroom. A big NO. I don’t watch TV or have guests watch TV when entertaining. They come to visit, not to watch TV.

Wende in SFO- Good clutter and irony arguments- I am loving you! IÂ’ll buy my first SFO home from you! I promise.

Max- common! Even if I liked girls I would never had a slide-down screen with a projector. This is no biology class room! That is so techno-tacky.

Jonathan- I have foot stirrups available, you can hang yourself from the roof, relax, and be ready to comment for the next contest! And, as you can figure out already, you have no reason for divorce! Your wife is very lucky to have a guy with good sense of humor.

Another DCer- a resident of the Nations Capital who doesnÂ’t know in America you can buy more than one of each item? Come see for yourself- front and back!

Joey- Samantha was over hereÂ…she love it! LOL. Floors are cabinet-grade maple plywood floors, bleached and with aluminum strips in between. The bathroom door/window overlooks through my private office to the southern exposed yard. No need to turn on the lights when showering! Love it. Whoever finds the condoms get a price!

Only- my private office (I work from home) is the back porch which I enclosed with polygal panles. If more photos would be allowed I would showed this.

J- They are original 40Â’s chairs. I bought them from the AIDS project store in NYC back in 1998. 60 bucks- both! A deal

Another bachelor, Doug- The room divider gives enough privacy- remember, is just me and my date- and if am entertaining with bunch of friends, all the space is to become one: front to back allowing the connection to the outdoor living areas.

posted by OWNER on 2006-03-16 00:53:51

New Tenant--
You and I must know different women.

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-16 01:01:23

JAIME...YOUR APT. IS GREAT! And if you win i would like you to invite me a couple of drinks (at your house, off course!!).
Your apt. is the best, i love it...i think you are very talented...
I REALLY HOPE YOU WIN THIS CONTEST (that will increase my cahé)...
SIMPLY BEAUTIFULL

posted by Moniquita on 2006-03-16 03:12:59

Heh, this time round I enjoyed the comments as much as the cool photos -- especially the ruffled feathers and cattiness. Jaime's rejoinders are hilarious, and something of a model for how to reply when judged by prickly strangers. ;-)

posted by Richard on 2006-03-16 05:53:41

"Um, perhaps sense of humor is all relative, and can still piss someone off if not taken with the proverbial grain of salt? Seems like the comment directed to you (obviously a joke) rubbed YOU the wrong way, perhaps the same way our chinese-knock-off-buyin', self-loathing friend's comments also apparently do, to others...?"

Touche, P2.

posted by gekko on 2006-03-16 08:37:53

hmm. so i haven't read the most recent of the 96 comments, so maybe somebody already mentioned this. i just saw an article in the washington post (click my name for the link). the picture sure makes it look like the same apartment. if it is...what's up with the square footage??

posted by gk on 2006-03-16 09:10:45

This is featured in today's Washington Post Home section: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/15/AR2006031500550.html

It's an article on small kitchens. And there's a picture of the owner...

posted by DC chick on 2006-03-16 09:10:52

A quick reply to PPan (I find all other issues here not less fascinating, just don't have time to rant):
I have no idea what the rules of the contest say about method ofcalculation, but in interior design practice for real estate purposes calculation is done along the inteior face of the glass on exterior window wall and the middle of the demising partitions. That means at least 2" into the demising partition.

posted by Tat on 2006-03-16 10:01:06

Very nice, warm, inviting and classy! Once again, I'm jealous!!!

posted by Filbert on 2006-03-16 10:02:31

Saw the Washington Post story this morning too, DC chick. Jaime's kitchen is a heck of a lot cooler than the other ones in the article.

One note: the Post article listed the square footage at 750.....not that I particularly care about nitpicking the contest rules.

And to Jaime.....was just teasing about the mirror. Loved the apartment when I saw it here....and still love it after seeing it in the paper this morning!

posted by Another DCer on 2006-03-16 10:10:45

before more confusion is made:
SqFt as determined in the graphic instructions of this contest, measurements are from inside-to-inside of walls, excluding stairs, etc.
SqFt, for real state purposes, which means gross calculations ends up being more since it includes all exterior walls.
I am more than happy to send official drawings to Apartment Therapy for them to judge.

posted by OWNER on 2006-03-16 10:11:45

Jaime, it's only techno-tacky if you do it wrong. Trust me, I design this stuff as a job. Or you could just project on the wall behind the curtain. But perhaps I'm just averse to visible electronics in the bedroom.

posted by Max on 2006-03-16 10:13:33

owner/jaime - thanks for clearing that up! i figured the difference was probably something boring and technical like that :)

posted by gk on 2006-03-16 10:29:55

Jaime, Of course you're gay--all the good men are! (or at least the ones with cool apartments--most straight guys' ways of making their apartment "date worthy" includes putting a tshirt over a lamp and bringing out the beer) :) If your current relationship doesn't work out, I know a great guy who loves latin men!

posted by Christine (the one in DC) on 2006-03-16 10:38:45

Max, to have a screen or a projector hanging from the exposed wood ceiling I think will clash.what you think? If I had a soffit, I would consider it well. I also dont like electronics being exhibited -they should be discrete- even more now in this digital era where we are just invaded by them!

Christine in DC- thanks for the compliment!

posted by OWNER on 2006-03-16 12:03:13

Christine (the one in DC)--

Have we met? :)

But sometimes a t-shirt on the lamp is HOT. Just depends on how it gets there... :)

Now that we got full disclosure on the owner, the space looks less American Psycho and more like the loft from Queer as Folk. :)

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-16 12:50:03

Hey Jaime, If I were designing a system for your space I'd actually put the screen either behind the curtain, use the wall behind the curtain, or have a screen that pops up from the floor (either recessed in the floor or concealed behind the existing furniture there). I'd put a small projetor tucked up on the lateral beam you have running across the ceiling behind the bed, and use lens shift to get the image down to the screen.

At any rate, your place rocks, I think it's the nicest one of the contest so far.

posted by Max on 2006-03-16 12:58:19

PLUS, then the moving images could dance over your entwined, wrangling bodies.

Works for me.

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-16 13:20:17

And hey, for the doubters, I wouldn't trust the Post for the correct square footage.. they didn't spell his name the right way, either!!!

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-16 13:21:45

Hey Jaime. The mutual friend is Glen D. in L.A. ;)

posted by Enrique on 2006-03-16 13:28:05

Enrique, Or course- Glen!
are you in DC, LA or PS?

posted by OWNER on 2006-03-16 14:48:34

Hey Jaime, just read the W. Post piece and can relate to the cooking smells. Skip the incense (that's just my opinion, it makes me sneeze) and maybe give an air purifier a try? I have a Vornado and there is a quick clean setting that really helps out when I cook.

posted by christina on 2006-03-16 15:04:44

I knew the kitchen counter looked right to me. (I'm 6'4", too.)

Jaime, it sounds like you've got a great personality and a thoughtful eye for detail.

As far as widening the divider, I was only suggesting 6-12 inches or so. I really like the openness it allows.

posted by Doug on 2006-03-16 15:36:04

For those who hate cooking smells that linger, but don't want something like incense - try a lampe bergere. It's a french catalytic burner that uses a high-alcohol fuel available in natural and scented versions, with beautiful shapes that match any decor. You light the burner with a match, let it burn till the stone heats up, and then blow it out and put a metal cage on top. It will purify a decent size room in 1/2 hour - 45 minutes. Then you put the cap back on, and it stops the reaction. No scent left if you're using the neutral fuel.

It's really awesome. ANd looks good.

posted by rachel (in denver) on 2006-03-16 18:33:56

wow. i'm almost afraid to say anything here since the conversation has been so volatile. This is the best design i've seen for this contest because it has functionality. One has to eat, sleep, entertain and whatever else in a small space. To do it all with style is enviable.

posted by be on 2006-03-16 19:43:20

Jaime

I see you referring to me as "smart" and i think "finally someone on this damned blog who understands my true worth" but then you go on to dis my idea about the separate bedroom - so pfffft!

and after I defended your hyperbole too when everyone else thought you were just sex-crazed reprobate.

anyway, fine! and excuse me for thinking you might want to watch t.v. in the living room. as it happens, my t.v. is in the living room - NOT in the bedroom because I have better things to do in THERE when I have - ahem - company over.

seriously, though - great responses (except the one to me) and i love the place.

NT (not a guy)

posted by New Tenant on 2006-03-16 21:08:44


We're just happy to see that two DC apartments made the cut. Way to go Jaime.

www.dcbubble.blogspot.com

posted by dcbubble on 2006-03-16 22:45:05

I dunno what Christine's talkin' about. She should come see my apartment. I'm the kind of person who's ruining the neighborhood in Dupont Circle.

posted by phred on 2006-03-17 02:19:06

Jamie you do have a cool looking apartment - especially that ceiling. But is that ceiling legal? I was under the impression that exposed ceilings are only allowed in single familiy residences and Not in commercial buildings or condo/apartments unless there is some fire protective measures (like concrete).

How i can do the same with my ceiling (legally that is)?
el
I love Corbu

posted by el on 2006-03-17 09:40:21

I'd do you on a few extra conditions:

1. It's clean (the bathroom in particular)
2. It doesn't smell like smoke of any kind
3. It doesn't smell like men's cologne
4. There is no new-age jazz music playing in the background
5. You don't tell me to take off my shoes as soon as I walk in
6. You have a good bottle of wine sitting around somewhere
7. You're a nice guy

posted by Sharon on 2006-03-17 10:35:38

Jamie (fellow CUA'r),

Really like your place! Envious of all your space. Keep an eye out for my submission, (if I make the cut). Could end up being the battle of the CUA grads. I'm sure you would do fine in the getting laid dept. w/o having to have a nice place, but it couldn't hurt.

Great job!

posted by David n DC on 2006-03-17 10:44:53

Phred--do you mean you're a gay guy with bad taste or a straight guy with good taste?

posted by Christine (the one in DC) on 2006-03-17 10:54:07

Sharon, I dount that Jaime would ever do you or allow you to do him.

NT, kudos for calling out the ppl that didn't get it. You did and earlier than most. Of course I did but I would say that after the fact wouldn't I?

BTW, jaime, overall your place looks great but I don't think your photos do justice to it judging by the shot in the washington post.

posted by jamie pup on 2006-03-17 10:54:49

ah, finally got to read through all the comments and see Jaime might like my friend Matt more than myself...

Still, this whole thread touches on a new idea for AT---the idea of design to attract others. I don't think it's that far-fetched. We choose our clothing that way. I definitely reject a lot of home items I might otherwise like because they're too "girly" and I know darn well they're off-putting to men...lace, flowery things, pinks, pastels, etc. I tend toward the middle ground of greens and earth tones.

Anyway. I love that red painting in Jaime's apartment. Wouldn't go with anything in my apartment, but it's beautiful.

posted by Sharon on 2006-03-17 11:07:20

one other thing---my extra conditions are useful in either social situation, I believe...

posted by Sharon on 2006-03-17 11:10:23

Design to attract others...

You mean I have to start taking my Eames splint OUT with me to bars?!?!?

Hmmm. I actually know a bar where that just might work...

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-17 16:09:32

Thanks Jaime for describing the office (and naturally lighted bathroom).

Pilgrim, and others who dug the exposed roof -- I want to spill about a converted building in an alley in Dupont. There, too, the upper floor is the living space -- tall sloping ceiling, skylight, wooden ceiling fans, cascading plants, giant hay-doors thrown open in the evenings, Louise Bourgeois - type art marking the entry. Would love an invitation too, and happy to bring amaretto.

posted by only on 2006-03-17 17:38:23

i am sorry but the rug is simply vile and it throws the rest of the space -- which is darling -- completely off for me.

btw, i believe this is the first time i have ever seen this web site used as a pick-up spot! to your success.

posted by charlie on 2006-03-23 01:04:18

charlie--

You think this is the first time!??

Then you've not been paying close enough attention!! ;)

posted by patrick (the other one) on 2006-03-23 11:37:11

darling, does the wood inspire you?

posted by Emily5star on 2006-03-23 14:22:15

I love it. I would've continued the drapery along the left wall instead of the lighting. Trying it now would create a fire hazard. You could, I assume, remove the heads. This would complete what I feel your intent is; to define and seperate the two spaces.

posted by greg_gree on 2006-03-23 15:18:41

1. turn bed around. put against wall. more like hotel room.

2. lose living room dark grey curtains. take a little of the vamp look out of living room by decluttering and lightening colors a bit.

otherwise cool.

and go out on your dates instead.

posted by t on 2006-03-24 16:40:28

Horny much?

The only thing I like about this is that big red painting. Everything else is "meh".

posted by amanda on 2006-03-26 11:52:08

dude, is that bronze mirrored tile? hugh hefner is old enough to be my grandpa, let alone yours.

posted by purejuice on 2006-03-26 17:27:38

that first picture is hot...i want that open beam ceiling in my place! and that red couch is the perfect violation to your space!

posted by ryan from slo on 2006-03-28 12:44:07

Can a non apt liver play?


I LOVE your apt! Ii is stylish and personal, it looks like a great place to hang out. Makes me wish I was living in some cool DC apartment rather than a townhouse in Germantown. I am inspired!


About enclosing yourself in the bedroom? Huh? Not everyone worries about being behind closed doors ;)


Have to say this particular thread is TOO fun! I have been reading/looking at all the contest threads all day and this one is cracking me up!

posted by HippieChick on 2006-03-29 13:56:05

Great place.
Can you tell me where you got your sofa (it's awesome!) and the large, red painting in the living/dining/kitchen area?
Thanks.

posted by dezinemag junkie on 2006-03-29 17:49:12

so, It is not bronze tile, It is Mica panelings from e-panelite.com
The red painting I comissioned from an artist in London.


ther is no "vamp" or "clutter" as i see it in my house. Something I do know i have is good style - my clients and experience have assure me that. I am not being cocky, just confident.

...oh, and am not moving the bed anywhere!

ok...good luck to everybody!

posted by OWNER on 2006-04-04 21:14:15

The problem with this space is that it is too nice for a straight guy. It is a beard-catcher. Women, after a while, realize they are better off with a guy who has a bachelor pad as opposed to the kind of "bachelor-for-life" pad that their uncle, the one who wears the cravat and drives the Morgan and has never been married, keeps.

posted by Chris Abraham on 2006-04-27 18:01:10

There's such a thing as "restraint" in designing spaces, especially smaller ones. This one exercises almost none. I know it's not totally fitting, but the one word that keeps coming to my mind as I look at the pics is...wait for it...EIGHTIES. And it seems smaller than 600sq.ft., which means it could have been thought out better. I'd start from scratch. The only thing I like is the half-height footboard/bedroom divider - but even that could have been done much better.

posted by Vinny on 2007-01-08 19:49:51

I just saw Jaime's apartment on tv today on a show called "Small Space, Big Style" on the HGTV channel. I think the place looks cool. :)

posted by April on 2007-01-19 00:20:36