Ohdeedads: Where Were You During the Nesting Process?

Ohdeedads: Where Were You During the Nesting Process?

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Katie Steuernagle
Jun 29, 2011
This week as we've been focusing on dads and nursery design, I had a startling revelation. My husband and I normally share home design decisions fairly equally. We deliberated in the furniture store together for hours before selecting a sofa. We poured over paint chips before selecting a color for our bedroom walls. Together we drool over photos of dream kitchens. But when it came to designing our baby's nursery, it was all me, totally and completely from beginning to end. What happened? Where was the Young House Love? Had I become a design dictator?

I don't recall ever being nasty about my takeover. For me, I was simply expressing my intense, biological urge to nest. So the question, then, is what happened to him? As strongly as women ramp up to prepare for the baby, do men have an equal and opposite biological urge to step back and stay out of the way of our crazy nesting? Certainly this is some prehistoric survival skill that early cavemen figured out a long time ago. Deep in our DNA we know that designing a nursery is the reward women earn in exchange for the grueling physical work involved in pregnancy and childbirth, and that men must not interject opinions about paint colors, but stand quietly ready with a hammer and drill should they be called upon by the woman to hang something or do heavy lighting. Our higher brain desire to make decisions as equals is replaced by a division of labor based on primitive biological differences. I ran this theory by my husband last night, and he told me that, no, he's just not that into nursery decor.

I'm anxious to know if this same phenomenon happened in other homes. Ohdeedads, how involved were you in the nursery design process? Were you picking out paint colors and snipping fabric swatches right along with women? Did you quietly bow out? Or were you forced out?

(Image: Flickr member Haydnseek under Creative Commons license)

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