This reminds me of reading an item on a Martha Stewart's Countdown to Christmas to-do list parody:

* Disassemble, clean and reassemble dog

I actually learned to clean by my cleaning lady. I never did chores growing up and didn't even know how to do laundry or pay bills until I was 24. When I left home for graduate studies, i had my own apt but had someone clean on a biweekly basis. I ate out all the time so i never learned to cook too (I even had the original bottle of dish washing detergent I moved in with after graduating!) From her, I learned what supplies I needed and her method of cleaning. Even now that my apt is much larger, I like to clean things on my own and schedule a different day of the week to do things/chores (i.e., Mondays: vacuum; Tuesday: dust bookshelves; Wednesdays: wipe door frames and baseboards; Thursdays: water plants; Fridays: pay bills..). I'm still learning which products are the best and would like to simplify the number of cleaning products (AT is a great resource for info!). For example, as an all purpose cleaner, I've used the mixtures of vinegar and hydrogen peroxide as recommended here on previous boards but really do not like the vinegary residue... still much prefer windex! Would appreciate any other suggestions for an all purpose non-residue cleaner.

Oh, I learned young and it stuck. Every Saturday was chores day, and the morning would be spent doing vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, cleaning the bathroom, etc. If things weren't spotless, we had to fix it. I also once made the mistake of asking my stay-at-home mom what she did all day... I learned. The following Saturday, I did EVERYTHING. She had me cook, clean, wash the floors and walls, do all of my regular chores, etc.

The trouble is getting the people you live with you learn and commit to it, too.

I learned from my mom, who is responsible for my dislike of ironing to this day because it was exclusively my chore to iron everyone's clothes in the house each weekend after the laundry was done. She learned from her mother, who vacuumed her house everyday. EVERY day. My family is from the South, and regular cleaning is part of what you learn right along with yes ma'am and no ma'am. And even though I have grown up in the DC area, ask a few of my girlfriends who have family from the South and they too plan a day to wash the baseboards and windows, and know what it is to beat a rug or turn up the couch cushions while you vacuum a room as a regular way of life. I learned a lot of "little things"- cleaning out the bathtub each time, taking off your outside clothes and shoes before sitting on the bed,making up the bed as soon as I get out of it, pulling out the stove every time I sweep, preferring to handwash the dishes, using a sponge/hands/knees rather than a mop to REALLY clean the floor.

As far as the order of things, you clean from the top down, surface to floor, and just sweep in that direction as you go so the floor is the last thing to do! And I tend to either do whole floors or the same chore (all bathrooms, all vacuuming) throughout the house before moving to something else.

I learned to clean a house growing up. I've had chores for as long as I could remember. Some of my earliest memories are of helping to wash the dishes and clean my own room and that had to have been at three or four. As I grew older, the chores grew too. I was washing the kitchen floor on my own by ten, vacuuming the whole house by ten, etc. We also helped out with the deep cleaning tasks, like washing windows and baseboards by then as well. As I got older, more responsibilities were added, until by my teenage years, my older sister and myself were completely responsible for all house cleaning, though we were empowered to make our younger sisters help us.

At the time, I thought it really sucked. I hated it. Felt totally put upon. The consequences seemed really severe (if the house wasn't sparkling, top to bottom by 5pm Friday afternoon, you didn't go out the whole weekend, except to church). On the other hand, I'm glad now that I had the experience.

Because you only really learn by doing. It was easy to step into taking care of my own home because I'd already done it. In fact, it's easier to clean my own place because it's only myself and husband and the pets.

I am definitely still in the learning phase. Sometimes I manage to keep the whole house fairly clean, then other times I get overwhelmed and it's a complete disaster(understatement). I just want to know how to balance cleaning with daily life! Or maybe it just being lazy? But from what I've gathered you need to spend AT MINIMUM 30minutes per day working on cleaning up, otherwise it just gets out of hand. But I guess I'll know for sure in a few more years eh?

Growing up, both my parents worked full time so they would leave us with chores to complete during the summers when we had no school. We learned to clean thoroughly and after a while, our summer chores became weekend chores because my parents also worked weekends from time to time. Eventually we continued with the cleaning (although not as often) out of our own initiative.

I learned to clean at a very young age and I am SO grateful that my parents taught us (out of a sort of necessity) because now that I am married and have my own household, I haven't had any difficulties in the cleaning department. Cleaning is not my favorite activity, but when I get to it, I am very anal about it and I apply an 150% effort.

My husband on the other hand, he was a little more spoiled than I was. His cleaning style is surface cleaning, not very deep at all. For example, he'll vaccuum and mop the floors, and dust/clean surfaces afterwards. My favorite (or not) is when he cleans the toilet. I don't know if he ever cleaned the toilet at his house, but his way of cleaning the toilet is just squirting the Clorox toilet cleaner around the inner rim, letting it sit for twenty minutes and flushing a couple of times. Never mind that we have a toilet brush sitting next to the toilet. (Does he know the toilet brush sits there?) His cleaning style is both amusing and frustrating, but I just let him do it his way and don't bother nagging.

Growing up, Sunday was chore day in my parents' home. Every Sunday morning of every week, my brother and I would wake to the sound of mom blasting Carole King, "I feel the Earth move under my feet, I feel the sky tumblin' down..." He and I each had our own set of chores while mom did laundry, and like Aimsly, I had to redo a task if it wasn't perfect. The worst part, I will never forget, was dusting all my mom's antique "pretties." They were in every room. I guess if I was smarter at that age, I could have broken one weekly, then maybe she would have taken over that task, but I was too good. ;) I suppose learning to clean and clean well at a young age prepared me for cleaning my own home. Especially in our current home which has 600 sq.ft. of 60's carpeting in the great room, causing daily dusting of all surfaces in that room. Ugh. Luckily, the hubs is as good as me at cleaning, and even cuts fewer corners than I do. Plus, he does all the laundry. I scored.

I grew up in a house with 3 little brothers and no dishwasher - I learned to clean (and cook) early.

I hated it so much and my dad would always say that these were essential skills to know when I had my own house. I told my dad as a kid that when I grew up I would have a maid. I now DO have a maid come every other week, but no one cleans or cares for your stuff like you do. I don't let anyone else wash my clothes.

In my family you became responsible for doing your own laundry at 10 years old and everyone had chores. If you didn't have clean clothes, that was because you didn't wash them. If you wanted unwrinkled clothes, you had to iron them yourself.

I was startled when I got to college and found that the majority of people had no idea how to clean/take care of themselves. One of my friend's famously had a list of instructions for washing clothes (which became the source of much teasing).

My mother was of the diet pills and black beauties generation so lots of energy was spent (obsessive) scrubbing and cleaning the floors and counters even late at night.

I think I inherited this without the pills. I had to teach my cleaning lady how to really clean.

Between helping keep our home clean growing up and working in a store that had to be kept tidy throughout my teens, cleaning my first apartment was never a challenge or something I had to acclimate myself to.

What I have had to get used to are peers and in particular a partner who are still learning. I think Anita83's "amusing and frustrating" sums up my boyfriend's cleaning style extremely well.

i never did anything at home. i'm paying for it now...
at 27, with my own home since i was 20, i'm just getting the hang of it... with my kid i try to teach him and get him to help with things, like putting away his laundry/dishes/toys, but leaving him plenty of time to be a kid as well. he is responsible for his own messes, but the bulk of the cleaning is mine. i plan on easing him into house chores as he gets older, so he learns overtime and doesn't suffer as much as i did/do.

It's easiest if you buy things that don't need much care. All of our small rugs/shower curtains, etc. are washable. Anything else can be vacuumed or sprayed with seventh generation cleaner and wiped.

I get annoyed with people who cook. I eat out & roommate food mess is my least favorite thing to deal with. I find that cutting down on the number of utensils you own really forces you to keep them clean. I tossed all but 3 forks in college and it ended the constant sink full of dirty dishes problem.

I learned when I was young. My mom refused to raise a helpless human being who couldn't do things properly. If I didn't know how to do something she'd have me stand there and watch her so the next time I could tackle the chore on my own.

In college I lived alone for the most part and every week would do a top to bottom spit shine of my dorm room. I've found that the key is cleaning as I go. Then when I do the deep down heavy duty clean it's not so bad. I've followed the same practice now that I have my own apartment.

This is actually a very interesting topic for me.

I learned to clean from my mom. Growing up, our house was always spotless and she worked tirelessly to keep it that way.

I have two dogs and a husband who isn't particular - we live in the city on a brick street. The dust is incredible.

I really struggled with guilt and shame because my house would not live up to my mom's standards. To find a routine I can manage that keeps my house clean enough, I had to give up that guilt and accept that my house will never be spotless for very long. And, really, that's okay.

Now I work a little each evening so I can follow my one and only cleaning rule - no cleaning on the weekend.

My mom was raised in a "hospital-clean, plastic covered couch, crawl back to get her lunch if she forgot it on the counter"-kind-of household... and as a result she went the opposite direction and while we had a clean house we never had a spotless house. I had chores, but they were only the basics, clean the bathroom, do the laundry, dishes, that sort of thing. The deep cleaning mentioned above NEVER got done, so now as an adult on my own, I don't know how and it overwhelms me, so that it builds up and becomes a major clean!
we're thinking about a puppy, so perhaps i'll have to get better at cleaning soon!

I had chores as a child, but was still totally unprepared for owning a home and keeping things clean and in order. I didn't learn until my SECOND home, which needed a lot of initial intense cleaning and remodeling. Going through the process of fixing the mistakes of the previous owners taught me a lot about my home, and I seem to have become a new clean-freak of a person. Should I thank them for being disgusting idiots? Nah... but I do thank them for making the house cost me way less than it is worth now!

Growing up, I was fortunate enough to always have a maid until I moved away for college (and sadly, couldn't bring her along). I was so spoiled from my previous years of gleaming floors I was prepared to sweat it out one day a week to upkeep my dirt- and dust-free lifestyle. I also found scraping up grime and whatnot really therapeutic, like the dirtier the rag ends up, the more satisfied I feel.

So I guess that stuck, and now I actually love that I am the one cleaning my own space. Sinks and tiles today, windows and floors tomorrow, electronics the next, dark corners the following, etc, until I complete the cycle and can start all over again.

My mother could hardly believe how tidy my house was when she came for a visit a couple of months ago. Our house was never unsanitary, but it was definitely a mess growing up. My room was pretty consistently messy until I graduated from college. Then, after moving living full time in a summer share (while everyone else but one friend left during the week) I learned how to really clean - we had to clean up after 8-15 people so that the house was liveable during the week, and tidy for guests the following weekend. Since then, I've been pretty good about doing a serious clean once a week. I'm not perfect, but i'm really trying.

I cannot imagine hiring someone else come in to clean my home (even though I wouldn't mind not having to do it myself), but that is just the way I was brought up. I always had chores and no-one ever cleaned up after me, even while I was still living with my parents. Since I got married and even more so after getting two cats, it's been a bit of a never-ending struggle as there's is always so much to clean and never enough time or energy to do it. I never dust but I do vacuum twice a week and mop bathroom and kitchen floors once a week, as well as clean surfaces in both those rooms once a week also. I know it's not enough; I feel like I'm always just skimming off the top layer of dirt. Visitors always say our place looks clean though!

How weird!??!?! I thought everyone's grandmother came to visit during spring break when you are in the fifth grade to teach you how to clean a house from top to bottom, never cut corners, and use a tooth brush to clean tiny bathroom grout...guess it was just me! Nanny you're the best!

Chores as a kid? yes.

BUT: It wasn't until i had my own kid that i learned how to clean in earnest.

seriously: it's not until your little loved one -- who puts everything in their mouth -- brings you down to floor (and under-toilet) level that you appreciate the beauty of proper cleaning.

Learned from mom and from doing it as a kid. Never felt put upon, felt like I wanted to help my hardoworking mom,who wasn't my slave. Then I worked as a cleaning lady one summer. Pretty much hooked me up.

Thanks for this post!

I'd really like to hear more from people about spreading the cleaning out across the week; my husband only has one day of the week off (since it's the high season in his industry, cycling) and I am "always" at work as an academic, so our current method of a once a week total-clean has felt pretty punishing.

So some weeks we don't do it, since he wants to enjoy his day off, and dust bunnies start happening (o shame!). Lazy pazy, I know. Anyway, I'm kind of awful at sticking to routines, but I'd love to hear more about little-by-little, across-the-week methods.

Good post. I learned to clean from my mom, but once I went off to college and then eventually my own apt, I was so happy to do what I wanted and not get in trouble if I didn't "pick up after myself." So, I got into a very bad habit of NOT cleaning regularly. Now, in my 30's, it's a tough habit to break. But lately, I figured if I can't keep my studio apt ship shape, how do I EVER expect to maintain a house someday? So, that's really made me grow up a little and start to change my habits. Doing 4 Cures here at AT has helped tremendously to understand proper cleaning and what it does for your dwelling.

lol...wow..I'm not the only one! I grew up in one of those "southern spotless" houses. We vacuumed several times a week and the lines in the shag carpet had to go all the same way. There was no dust and to this day I still don't know how mom managed that because I can't get rid of it...it's back the next day it seems. We waxed the floors weekly and there were bedroom inspections. There was no WAY my room could have looked like some of my friend's rooms with clothes tossed casually on the floor, bed and every surface. I was jealous of them back then but now, I'm glad that mom taught me coming up. My favorite chore was ironing and to this day I love it. It's theraputic for me...lol and I like seeing that I'm making progress as the wrinkles disappear.

Some of my sweetest memories of childhood are of Mom cleaning the house on Saturdays. She worked full time, so cleaning was relegated to Saturdays. Mom would get up early, make a pitcher of sweet tea, put on a stack of records - usually Willie Nelson - and clean until our house was perfumed with the scent of Jubilee wax and Comet. I learned every wonderful thing I know from her, domestically and otherwise.

Besides the bathroom and dishes...cleaning and organizing relaxes me and actually brings great joy. I love to see the finished product. Although I am constantly picking up, putting away and wiping down-it does bring a smile.

Looks like I'm the only one who grew up in a messy house and never learned to clean! I don't recall my parents EVER doing a "deep cleaning" and stuff was always dusty. I don't recall ever being asked to clean my room.

I'm sure I would have resented the chores as a child but now I really wish I had a clue how to keep a place clean. I'm just learning from the ground up, and still discovering filthy things that it never occurred to me to clean. The fronts of kitchen cabinets, for instance. I know that is obvious to most of you, but to me... who knew??

I clean once a week or every 2 weeks if Im being naughty. It takes time but feels amazing and I love it when its done.

Here's the way to deal:

1. For everyday clutter and grime do 15 minutes a day, a task at a time, a room at a time. And multitask, for example in the bathroom, spray the shower/ walls with cleanser while you wipe the porcelain surfaces, then wash shower, then sweep and mop the floor , and use mop water to scrub interior of toilet.

2. If you notice filth- clean it RIGHT THEN. On light plates, bathroom mirrors, kitchen tables. 2 seconds with a sponge makes all the difference.

2. Have rules: for example, make the bed every morning, nothing but food ever on the kitchen table, no dishes left in the sink overnight, catbox shoveled out daily. Whatever works for you

3. Have places for things in systems: keys in the dish by the door, jackets on the banister on the way out, work handbags on the work table. etc. Set up orderly places where things 'live' and don't let the wrong things go in the wrong places.

4. If you live in the city or have pets, get an air purifier. I have gotten SO MANY fewer colds since i got one and the house smells much fresher.

4.Enjoy it. Much like earning a living, doing your own cleaning is empowering and liberating.

5. And if you CAN'T enjoy it? Hire a cleaning lady. Just know that 90% of them don't do great / deep jobs.

6. If you have to do major deep cleaning or purging, buddy up and do the task with a pal. Spend one day or evening on her house, one on yours , trade back and forth until you're done. She can help you decide to purge clutter and with rearranging furniture, etc. It's SO much easier to have an outside eye. And yes it will piss you off at first and you will find yourself feeling strangely threatened and territorial. Don't act on those feelings!

A spoilt childhood in a country where live in maids are part of nearly everyone's life, DOES NOT prepare you for the rigours of moving to other places and setting up your own home.
Yes, laziness and an over privileged youth are not a good combo for fostering cleaning talents. I like things to be clean I just hate doing the cleaning myself and am still (even after 30 years without a maid) learning.

As for mastery , where is the master- y when you need him? I'd gladly hand over any and all tasks to the master - y :)

Though our house never seemed dirty or messy to me, my mom wasn't a big cleaner, so I didn't really learn to clean until mayyybe age 27/28 - from the housekeeper. I was certainly more than capable of handling light cleaning/organizing from the age of probably 16, but it wasn't until observing how great a house feels after the housekeeper's visit that I realized - I need to learn how to do that! So I just observed what she did and how she did it (realizing how much I had to learn!) and copied it. Now, I'm getting really good at it (and haven't had a housekeeper for about a year).

When I was growing up, I was responsible for keeping my room clean.. but often slacked. I was 17 when I realized that if my wanted my living space tidy I had to take responsibility and clean up after myself. By the time I was 19 and moved out, I had a cleaning routine and I stuck to it ever since... my house is spotless!

As a side note, I also have a 5 year old and an infant. My older daughter had chores since she was 2, even if it was putting her toys back in the toy bin. While I do not think children should be over burdened with chores, I do think it is important for them to help out and learn how to keep after themselves... which will carry on into adulthood.

I have inherited some aspects of my mother's cleaning, but not all. They had a very traditional marriage where she did all the cleaning and cooking - except for bbq - and he did the heavy yard work, the fix-it jobs, the cars.
I love to iron, and I make the bed every day, but I am nowhere near as tidy about dusting or mopping floors. They aren't horrible, but definitely not spotless.
Also, I use far more green products than my parents did - they had no problem using major chemicals for things, probably because there wasn't anything really said about how awful they are in those days.

My mom trained my brother and I to clean from when we were kids. I was famous in my college dorm for having the cleanest room. The only things I've changed as an adult are the cleaning products I use. I still clean every week. I hate cleaning but it really helps to keep the cat hair and mess down.

Cooking on the other hand... that's a recent accomplishment.

I was in charge of vacuuming every single morning before school and I also made all my brothers beds for pocket money every morning. But I learned to be truly anal about cleaning by watching a friend clean her own home. Now I love the process of cleaning and the end result. And I'm always on the lookout for a multi purpose cleaner because I don't like clutter.

I am so jealous of everyone here who learned while they were young! My parents divorced early and as single parents never had the time to clean. My mom hired and cleaning lady and my dad's house was just...filthy.

I am definitely still learning, but a few neatnick roommates along the way have helped a lot. Unfortunately, I am now living in a fairly large but also super rundown apartment with a depressive bipolar roommate. It's up to me to clean the whole place because she just sleeps all day. The problem is compounded by the fact that a) she really didn't clean much in the 3 years since before I moved in, and b) before her our place was a flophouse with 10 adults living in it. I am doing my best, but cleaning here involves a huge series of major chores, instead of just upkeep. It's a bit overwhelming.

Anyways, she is moving out soon and I am really looking forward to my chance to repaint, rearrange all the furniture, and do a MAJOR deep clean. It's going to be a huge undertaking, but this apartment could actually look great if the proper time were put into it. I've been here for a year and it's already a lot better, but learning how to manage the routine of keeping your house sharp is definitely something that is taking me a while to catch on to.

My parents were very particular about how the house got cleaned. No one cleaned better than my mum (which is true) and no one vacuumed or steam cleaned the carpets better then dad (also true..) so me and my brother were left with tidying up our room & taking out the trash. Ive been married 6 years now and just last week my mum showed me how to really wash the dishes. My dishes will never be as clean as hers but i think thats a title she deserves to keep.

OK, now I'm curious - how do you really wash the dishes?

As a child we had chores- but got paid for them (I think it was 25 cents an hour - it was the 70s). I always choose the outdoor ones- I was the champion lawn mower and my sister did inside chores. I hated the indoor cleaning. We were also responsible for keeping our rooms clean. I don't remember the number of times my mother threatened to dump the contents of my bedroom floor in the trash. The garbage can occasionally migrated upstairs to add weight to the threat. When as a teenager I announced I didn't want to go to church any more, my mother said fine, you can stay home and do laundry. I kept going to church. In college, my roommates would divide the room in half and just push all my stuff back to my side of the room when it infringed on theirs. The up shot of all this is. . .cleaning is my least favorite thing in the world (or that may actually be grading, but it is a close second) and I have not mended my ways. One of my goals in life is to make enough money so i can hire some else to clean for me. WHo was it that said something along the lines of. . . after a few years, you don't notice the dirt anymore? I am hoping enough AT will eventually inspire me to do a Cure.

Although my mom has never been a very good cleaner (she is more of a "straightener"), I learned to clean pretty early (she divorced when I was 6 and she and my older brothers worked, so I was the one to do a lot around the house and cook dinner from about age 7-8 on). I've always been pretty tidy and dusted, swept, and did bathrooms weekly (yes, even as a teenager, my room was tidy and I loved to dust). I still mostly like to clean and have a husband who shares the chores (he irons, does bathrooms, and the cat litter; I dust and sweep and do deep cleaning--with his help as I need it); we both cook and clean the kitchen, as well as do laundry. I guess we both approach cleaning in a kind o zen way--it is part of the "doing" of everyday life.

we learned from our parents - they BOTH cleaned. they also shared the cooking: my mother cut and prepped, my dad would do the actual cooking. it was their time together to talk over their day. my husband and i are the same. i knew i would never marry a man who was 'helpless' without his wife. lame.

How you learned or did not learn to clean your home says so much about how you were raised. Me, in a traditional home, did not really learn the full scope of cleaning - just the easy stuff. I'm great at vacuuming and mirrors. Other than that I'm at a loss. Until recently I was cleaning every Saturday for about 6 hours. I was exhausted and bitter that my husband's household duties were out in the yard and I was sniffling from all the dust inside (in his defense he did help clean the bathroom and is great at the kitchen clean up too). Recently I made room in our budget to hire cleaning help to come in twice a month and clean the house. It's pretty affordable in Eugene, Oregon. This house cleaning help is great because it forces me to tidy up more frequently and now when I clean I'm doing things I didn't have time for before, i.e. the fridge, overhead fans, and windows.
My big question for all you clean freaks out there - we have horrible popcorn ceilings and it seems the spiders have left many years of dust gather on the ceiling in their webs. How does one clean this nook and crannied surface? Cheers!

This is kind of embarrassing, but I learned how to clean my house from books. I graduated from college, realized I didn't really know how to keep house, and took out every book on the subject at the Boston Public Library. Most of them seemed to know their audience, and were simple and to the point.

Britosmart, I don't think that's embarrassing at all! I think that's resourceful and smart!!

I learned to clean from my mother, probably. I can't really remember, but somewhere along the line I picked up the idea that you have separate rags and cleaning tools for the kitchen and the bathroom, etc. That must have been from my mom....

I recently started having a really nice housekeeper come by once a week. We actually clean the house together, and it's a huge burden lifted. It's well worth the money. I felt at first as if it were odd to have someone clean my home; I just felt awkward having someone "work" for me in my house. But once I got over that, I can honestly say it's the best money I've spent in a long time. If you can work it into your budget, even having someone come by once a month is a huge difference.

And when other people in the house come through leaving a trail of stuff behind them, it's a bit easier to relax about it all.

Oops, Britomart...I combined your name with my thoughts about your resourcefulness I guess!

My mother taught me before I can even remember...being tidy was always intertwined with whatever activity we where doing. My older brother was in and out of surgery all his childhood so disinfecting the house was done constantly. Plus, the kitchen was white on white on white.
I grew up spring cleaning and purging on my own schedule and my parents where always supportive by moving large furniture for me to clean underneath and behind or even out of my room to store in the basement if I didn't have a use for it.
I am now teaching my boyfriend how to clean and he loves it so much, that he cleans a room everyday. He found it style, my style is still once a week.

I've never done any chores when I was a kid, I haven't done anything at home, never even took my plate back to the kitchen. I was spoiled and never used to any routines, not even homeworks (done them on my knees in the bus). I've moved out when I was 15 and learned to take care of myself, but I have never learned to do everyday chores like cleaning or paying bills on time. My partner was quite good with all cleaning routines, but I've spoiled him with my laid back attitude. Now I'm 28 and I'm struggling. We hate cleaning. We've tried almost everything, but nothing works for us. We are absolutely hopeless and I'm affraid that our house is going to look like student house, until we earn enough to afford hiring full time cleaning lady.

I'm still learning how to clean. growing up, I had some chores and in fact it was my stay at home DAD that executed most of the nitty-gritty tasks.

While working at a nice restaurant, I had a cleaning breakthrough; was taught certain mmethods, my standards were risen, etc. and I've brought those (in a slightly less maniacal form) back to my apartment.

Essentially, I'd say I'm still learning. And learning with my partner too. Its early in our relationship and I'd like us to have a shared chore system. But in the end, he works full-time and I am unemployed. Cleaning chores have never been a drag for me, so I take the lead and get things done.

I'd like to hear more stories about learning how to share tasks, be it with a partner, sibling, or any other roommate!

When I was a kid, my mom used to keep whatever money we left in our pockets when she did our laundry - "as a tip", so I started doing my own laundry. It still makes me laugh.

Saturday morning does seem to be the day and time to clean in the South! I learned that from my mom, but I'll never know how she kept the floors so clean. I feel like we are wallowing in dog and cat hair now, whereas growing up, that wasn't a problem, despite having roughly the same number of pets.

My current warm weather solution is to shave the dogs and cat down to nothing = less vacuuming!

... and I ended up alot like someone else's Mom above... rebelled against my Mom's focus on spotlessness and for a while chose the opposite. Now I'm at a comfortable level miday between being carefree about the state of my place, and being as houseproud as my Mom. (I lie... I realize... as I write this... I'm pretty houseproud... but try not to let it rule my life. lol)

@april11 - Do you really shave your cats, too?!

I had my cat shaved a couple of times. We lived in TX then and he was an indoor/outdoor with long hair. It would get so matted and nasty. So a groomer recommended it. You have to be careful, though - she also told me that esp. like the first week, they can get sunburned, or too cold, then you have other problesm. But it sure helps with the shedding - at least until the hair grows back out!

I really feel for the people on this post that are overwhelmed with cleaning because they didn't learn as a child. Yes, it's a daunting task for the best of us, but at least it's a feasible one when you know how it's done. I think of some homes I don't go in because it's just a nasty mess and I wonder now whether those people are lazy, as I've always assumed, or are just not sure of how to change it. New parents, expecting parents, "one day I'll be a parent"s should take heed: your children will one day recognize you lack of discipline in training them to be capable adults for what it is, so you do them no favors by "preserving their childhood". One missed afternoon or weekend morning of loafing and playing a week won't be the measure of their childhood, but could mean a great deal later in life.

littlehouser's comment made me remember a rule I had growing up. We always had to have our bed made first thing in the morning. If we happened to forget and our Mom ended up making our bed she charged us 10 cents for the service! I hated parting with my 10 cents so making my bed was a quick habit to learn!!

@lexixd:
"But from what I've gathered you need to spend AT MINIMUM 30minutes per day working on cleaning up, otherwise it just gets out of hand. But I guess I'll know for sure in a few more years eh?"

Absolutely!

I have dreams of doing rotating room cleanings like FlyLady but I tend to just keep up with the daily chores.

I was forced to do chores when I was younger but my mother was such a control freak that I was just constantly in fight-or-flight mode while doing them, so I didn't appreciate what the process was OR the idea that a clean home benefits YOU. That's what I eventually learned - it's easy enough to learn how to clean but tricky to realize it's not punishment, but self-care.

mskk, you mentioned a mini clothes washer by Haier that you favor. Which one is it? I'm thinking about investing in one.

Gosh. . . I didn't learn how to clean until I moved in with my future husband. I still ask him the best way to clean things. . . and he puts up with my shoes all over the floor!

Wow! My demographic is not represented in the comments yet at all! The demographic of actively enjoying mess, and only ever cleaning to prevent crossing of the "biohazard" line.

My divorced parents never taught me to clean or had me do chores. My mom lived in a relatively neat household and had a cleaning lady or a maid to help out. My dad is incredibly messy and had a very cluttered and messy house. I experienced both, and I prefer the messy house. I don't feel "lost" or "confused" that I never learned anything about house cleaning from my mom -- I mean using a vacuum or a washing machine etc is all pretty straightforward when you do it for the first time. If there's something I don't know, I just use google.

But, knowing how to clean the house and having any desire to clean it is very different. I only feel the need to vacuum when dust-bunnies get large enough to name. I have clothes all over my floor and clutter accumulates on every horizontal surface. And you know what? I love it. I am unashamed, unrepentant, and have no desire to make my domicile safe for children (hopefully the hazards will keep children FAR AWAY from me!). And maintaining the standard of living described above is fairly effortless -- I estimate I spend only 2 hours cleaning per month.

Now you all must be wondering why I'm on AT... but since I throw my clothes on the floor, you can still always see the nice furniture!

I grew up the only girl with 3 brothers. Three of us were relatively close in age but baby brother was many years younger. We had a three story home and every Saturday before my parents went to work the 3 older kids were assigned a floor to be responsible for. So if you had the bedroom level you changed sheets and vacuumed and cleaned that bathroom, the main level included bathroom and kitchen scrubbing along with vacuuming and dusting and the lower level was bathroom, vacuum, dusting and Laundry. Because this was the early to late 70's we had shag carpet so after vaccuming we had to "rake the carpet" so the pile all went the same way. So glad shag carpet is no longer in style. Also glad we were forced to learn this stuff cause having married someone with no responsibilities growing up as I actually do know how to clean a house and do laundry and cook etc. My husband on the other hand had no idea. When we were first married and I asked him to clean the bathroom I found him cleaning the sink with water and is fingers.... But I have taught him and our children and now they can all claim really good cleaning skills.......

There is no better feeling than a clean house! I, too, learned to clean from both my parents, who both happened to be perfectionists in maintaining our home. No matter where we lived, we always took great pride in our home and how we kept our belongings. It was always impressed on me that we didn't need a lot of money to appreciate the things we had by taking good care of them.

My mom still lives in the house we bought after my parents divorced when I was 12. My mom, sister and I all worked to make our house our own and lived by the motto, "We don't need no stinkin' men!" It was a team effort, through and through. Thanks to my mom I not only learned the zen and beauty of keeping a clean home, but also self reliance in learning how to use power tools, mow the lawn, garden, paint, etc.

Let me be honest though, it is very hard to keep a home in order 100% of the time. My husband and I have hectic jobs with long commutes in opposite directions, and by the time we get home, sometimes we don't want to do anything. Despite being quite the perfectionist, myself, I have made choices to not let my neuroses consume my life (i.e. not wearing a watch or running to answer my phone), so sometimes we skip the cleaning, and it's okay. I've found that the easiest way to maintain my house is to have a strong, "everything has a place and everything in its place" foundation from which to start. It's easy to do a quick pick up each morning before I leave so that I can come home to a nice house, and it's a lot faster to clean when there is no clutter.

Just a side note for the parents--being a teacher, I can honestly say that the responsibilities, habits and accountability you instill in your children early on at home are apparent when you send them off into the real world (and school). Thank you!

i too was an over-privileged child with too many clothes and undiagnosed adhd--every morning i went through 5 or 6 outfits trying to decide what to wear to school--all discards ending up on the floor: when i got back from school all was picked-up ironed fresh and clean--the house i lived in beautiful and serene.
these habits have continued through adulthood yet i am now under-privileged! when i get home from work things are as i left them--unless dog and cats have left their designs- what i do? I use a timer! Allotting 3 to 7 minute an area--i also have a dyson vacuum and my favorite thing of all a scooba--i wear leather clothes often because they are chic and don't need ironing nor do they attract pet hair--and the greatest sign of my trust for you is an invitation to my imperfect home! why is it that no one responds to this profile on match dot com?

I learned when I moved out last year! I never had chores as a kid, though as I reached my late teens I grasped that it was just plain good manners to do the dishes, tidy and vacuum on something of a regular basis. Then I moved in with my partner! He's a funny one, because though he's forever chucking clothes on the floor and leaving shoes/bags around, he also knows how to clean properly (he keeps trying to make me clean with vinegar but the smell is unacceptably offensive), having learned from his mum. I prefer to tidy, he prefers to clean. Between us, we get it done - we don't spend lots of time on it, but our house is pretty clean and fresh.

I still think you get a floor cleaner by scrubbing than mopping, mind!

I learnt when my partner's immune system collapsed, haha. I'm a crisis based learner. As a child we had chores but also various cleaners and gardeners and so on so it was really being acquainted with the mechanics, not the drudgery.

Now I have a pretty rigid routine, and a wipe clean house. We're a bit strapped (living on disability) and my partner is allergic to the universe, so I make a lot of my own cleaners and use a sheila maid and my own cloths and so on. A sort of accidental eco goddess. The endless task is keeping all the spaces clear for the wheelchair and scrubbing away the continual tramping of care workers and nurses and doctors through the house. Our home is their workplace, so it's also important that I keep it accessible and pleasant for them, but I wish they'd wipe their feet!

It's not hard, if you're fit, it's just tedious. People expect it to be interesting or rewarding for some reason, I see from these sites, but not everything is. It's just necessary. Thank god for audiobooks and radio four.

I learned how to clean from my mother but I learned how to clean efficiently from one of those speed cleaning books. Clean from top to bottom and left to right, all the way around the room, cleaning the floor last as you exit the room. Cleaning quickly, and thank heavens for portable music!, is the only thing that keeps me doing it regularly. For clutteritis, I have a laundry basket that I carry around and I pick up everything that needs to go back to its home and return it with just one walk through of the house. Next to where I sit and watch TV/read I have another basket, covered so noone knows the dirty secrets it holds, same principle.

My mom had a box full of 3x5 cards. Inside they were organized by daily, weekly, monthly and yearly chores. Each Saturday she'd lay all the one that needed to be done on the counter and tell us kids how many we needed to choose. On the card was written the chore and also directions on how to properly complete it including illustrations on the easy ones for my little brother.
We hated that box, I can remember wanting to smash it at times, but I learned to appreciate a clean house from her. Thankfully my partner and I have similar standards about keeping the house clean and we both pitch in pretty equally.

Flylady taught me.

Flylady.de

Oh sorry, that is

Flylady.net

The design of the site won't appeal to AT people, but hey, it's free and it's made by caring people. Plus you can sign up for free daily emails. And Marly Ciley herself has an authentic, forthright and friendly style which I enjoy. She's taught me a lot, especially about my perfectionism.

Hey, I was just going to post about the FL, too! I grew up in a messy house, and didn't learn how it was supposed to work until about 5 years ago, from the Lady. My house is not perfect, but we have about 90% less crap, now, and it's much easier to clean. Both husband and I spend most of Saturday cleaning, laundry, errands, grocery shopping and prep, leaving the rest of the week for work, not work chores, and fun.

Growing up with a hoarder our house was always filthy except for my room which very clean because I couldn't think in a mess. I learned how to clean my house from the commercial breaks in daytime tv that I watched every summer and from visiting my grandmother who got up very early every saturday to clean. There were tons of commercials showing people cleaning everything you can think of to clean.

No, when I was young I didn't have chores. My parents didn't do much more than surface cleaning either, and that was only on occasion.

Now I have zero days off and not a lot of motivation but it's not too bad in here. A bit dustier than I would like, though.

My Grandmother was obsessive about her cleaning, my Mom wasn't. Neither am I. I have stuff around the house. I have dirt and dust bunnies sometimes. It's more important to me and my family to go OUTSIDE and have a good time then clean the floors.
Cleaning isn't fun to me. It needs to be done though so I usually wait for the rainy days to do it. The only things I keep up on are laundry and dishes. Everything else can wait.

When I die I won't say "boy, I wish I kept a cleaner house"

I THOUGHT I had learned growing up, but, looking around my apartment, I'm hopeless.
Granted, I'm 20, go to school full time as well as hold down a full time job, but I also haven't done dishes in a few days and laundry is way overdue (I've learned to stock up on plenty of socks and underwear). I don't even get real days off, as I work in retail.
It doesn't help that my boyfriend doesn't do anything while I'm gone all day.

re: the Haier washer I have the $200 Haier HLP23E 1.46 cu. And IT IS AWESOME!!!! I have had it for 2 years and it has changed my life. I highly highly recommend it!

I wonder if learning to clean at a young age makes people more likely to be "house proud" and to hang out at sites like AT. Or perhaps people who are good at cleaning are more likely to respond to a post like this? In any case, the good cleaners seem to be the majority.

How I learned to clean is a bit unusual. I learned as a child, from my best friend, who did most of the chores in his house, starting when he was six. While his mom didn't clean, she told him how to do it. So he could go outside and play, I would help him with his chores.

My own house was just a few steps away from being a place on Hoarders, and I began cleaning it in self defense when I was around 9. My parents kept up with the dishes and laundry (thank zod!) but that was about it. I didn't get good at cleaning until I was around 12, and by 15 I was awesome. In college, I worked as a housecleaner, and I learned even more (never use a sponge to clean anything but dishes; I own around 30 microfiber cloths).

The main thing I learned: make things easy for yourself. When you mop the kitchen floor, move everything out of the room, vacuum, then mop. There's always an easy way to do something, and a hard way. Figure out the easy way! I spend at most two hours a week cleaning (not counting the daily stuff like dishes, cat boxes, putting stuff away).

Another thing I learned: a clean house stays clean. If you only do a little bit here and a little bit there, you're just moving dirt around. If you do not have the time or energy to do a whole house cleaning, hire a cleaner (I use Molly Maid) to come once every two or four weeks to do a deep cleaning. I really don't understand the reluctance people have to hire professionals for cleaning, as if it was "cheating." We pay for all sorts of services we never even think about. Imagine if we had to procure all our groceries at their source instead of going to a supermarket.

Speaking of people who are privileged: once, while I was working as a housecleaner, the man of the house came home from work early. He had no idea what I was doing in his home. He did not know he had maids who came weekly, and had been coming for nearly two years at that point. His wife had hired us, and paid us, but still... how did he think the house got cleaned?? 25 years later and my mind still boggles.

I have long been an adult and still do not know how to clean.

I hate to clean and perhaps that is why I have a cleaning person who comes once per month to tackle the nasties while I maintain my 2-BR condo in between their visits.

While growing up my mother (stay-at-home-mom) did all of the cleaning,
but always said - there are much more important things to do in life than clean - the house can wait, let's go have fun.

All-the-while, the house was clean and well-kept, so I'm not sure why she said the house can wait when it looked clean already.

I used to help a friend on Saturday a.m.'s clean her house because her mother would not let us go have fun until the house was clean. There would be five of us girls doing the cleaning (while her mother read books) and that made it fun because we were all together helping each other.

Ever since that time, I have hated cleaning and thought if I buy Martha stewart's book on keeping house, maybe I like cleaning more if I were cleaning properly.

But . . .until I can't afford a cleaning person, I'm going to keep mine and enjoy the luxury of having a clean house to come home to w/o being miserable doing it.

I learned from my mom and sister, but Rockstar energy drinks have really helped me hone my skills. ;)

I'm always amazed when my mother visits and *gently* points out all the things I did not do. Like, say, clean the baseboards. Or the ceiling. Or the cabinet doors. Or the front door. Nor did I vacuum the couch.
I'm also amazed by how much and how often some people clean. I mean, I know people who clean 3 times a day, everyday. Even when on a 'staycation'.
Frankly, I leave the bathroom, sink (no dishwasher) and trash to my roommate, and do a decent job with the rest of it, but I'm also a 'piler' with tons of papers (I write/research/read a lot).
It all makes me grateful that I don't live in a bigger place that would mean more cleaning!

I'm a little late on this, but still: I'm a Southern girl and had the "multiple vacuumings" kind of childhood, too. I always helped my mom out on the deep cleaning Saturdays; she would take me to the mall afterward and buy me something on sale to keep me doing it! As I got older, my brothers were gradually moved to "home improvement/lawn mower" type duties, and by eighth grade, I ended up cleaning kitchen, living room, family room, and bathrooms by myself every day after school (including vacuuming every day and washing the dishes after school and after dinner).

But Mom never directly taught me anything, which is upsetting to me because I'm a teacher and love the learning process. I hate learning by watching someone; it's not enough for me! If I ever asked, she looked at me like I was crazy and told me to go do something I did know how to do. She expected me to learn it by osmosis -- something that I'm particularly bad at. I just tried to do whatever seemed rational to me, so I have some pretty weird or inefficient cleaning habits that I developed to mask the fact that I didn't know how to do certain things: like never mopping, but scrubbing on hands and knees; always hand-washing the dishes, not using the dishwasher; and never using bleach.

So it's weird because I grew up cleaning, but I don't feel like I really know how to clean. I constantly try to pick up tips on the internet, but I don't think I'll ever learn how to mop well. I fail every time! The floor is still dirty or has swish marks or takes forever to dry. And the sight of a mop dripping dry for a day makes me die a little inside.

The real problem nowadays is that my husband is an amazing cook who does everything by scratch: we make our own stock and condiments, use whole animals or parts of animals (ie, a side of pork), etc. He loves Asian and Southern foods, so he's constantly making pickles, kimchi, etc. And his mother, bless her heart, taught him to cook but not to clean, so he leaves destruction in his wake. We don't have a dishwasher, so I regularly do three or four loads of dishes by hand, every single day. It really impedes on my ability to clean OTHER parts of the house.

i live in a community house in the country. all 4 of my housemates/family members are extremely messy, two of them are hoarders. I got my own small vintage trailer to use as a personal work space that I can keep absolutely spotless and organized. If i didn't have that oasis of calm, i think i'd call 1800gotjunk for a removal and then set fire to what was left. :)

I learned how to clean by working for a house cleaning company for a month. Least expensive intensive cleaning workshop ever!

I am so jealous of those of you who had normal parents and regular chores!

I grew up in a hoarding home. Most people think hoarders are just lazy and live in filth, but it's a lot more complicated than that. Hoarding is a variation of OCD, and hoarders have a very hard time categorizing things and calculating time. They are perfectionists in many ways. They're often the opposite of lazy - in fact, they end up working harder than anyone else because they're so scattered. They rarely relax; they never feel like they've accomplished anything so they will skip things they enjoy to stay home and clean (My mom actually missed a family vacation once because the house was a mess). They can zero in with a laser focus on one thing, but feel overwhelmed and helpless by the big picture. They also have a weakness for "churning," or pushing stuff around and reorganizing at it without actually getting rid of any of it.

A classic example: my mom might have two weeks until company came. Instead of deciding which rooms the guests might see and focusing all her effort on getting those rooms decluttered so folks would have space to sit, she would first procrastinate for several days by working very hard on the yard and fertilizing and picking up every single pinecone. Then she would start some home improvement projects that she'd been meaning to get to (even though maybe it was patching the plaster in the master bedroom, which the guest was not likely to enter). About 4 days before they were to arrive, she'd start cleaning the kitchen. It would take her two full days and she might have alphabetized the spice rack, and gotten two cabinets and the fridge completely clean and germ-free and reorganized with special containers - she would have cleaned all the crevices with a toothbrush! But then there would be a huge pile of random stuff on the dining table that she hadn't dealt with yet, and crud all over the stove. At that point she'd skip to the bathroom, where she'd scrub every inch of the floor on her hands and knees, and bleach every bit of the toilet, and wash every bit of dirty laundry and fold it just so. Meanwhile the shelf would remain full of dusty and expired old toiletries, and there would be a pile of newspapers stacked 4 feet high in the hallway (no exaggeration).

So my point is, I learned how to be a perfectionist to a fault. She wouldn't let us kids make our beds because we didn't do it to her standard, for example. It wasn't until I was in college that I saw my roommate tugging her sheet up haphazardly, then pulling her fluffy down comforter over everything...and I realized, "Hey, that's really all you need to do to make it look nice! Get a fluffy comforter instead of a flat spread!"

Many deep-cleaning tasks, I learned to do really really well. I know all the Heloise hints for making an old rust-stained tub sparkle and polishing silver and organizing the heck out of a junk drawer. Unfortunately, I also learned all of Mom's bad hoarding habits. I have a very hard time just spot-cleaning. It is impossible for me to say, "Hmm, I have 30 min, let me do the dishes and dry-swiffer the floor." I start swiffering, and get annoyed because there are some sticky spots, so I get out a scrubby sponge, and before I know it I'm on my hands and knees cleaning the whole floor for an hour and a half. I often feel overwhelmed by the big picture - I just don't know how to keep my house clean on a consistent basis!

I have a friend whose home is always very bare. She looks at an item and thinks, "I haven't used this in a while, out it goes." (More than once, she's thrown out important papers and I.D.s by mistake). I look at an item and my instinct is, "Is there any way I can use this somehow, someday? It looks useful, I'd better hold onto it just in case." It is SO hard to break this thinking, it's firmly planted in my reptilian brain. What's ironic is that *when* my bathroom and kitchen are clean, they are actually more germ- and crud-free than hers because I've deep-cleaned and she just surface cleans. But that does me no good because my kitchen is only clean 1 day out of 10.

Fly Lady is helping me move in the right direction, and setting a timer gets me motivated to do a little at a time. My big New Year's present to myself is actually going to be sessions with a professional organizer - I think it will be far more effective in the long-term for me than a maid!!! It's going to be my very own private episode of Clean House, stretched over a couple months. Wish me luck, y'all....

My mom always had us do small chores, but never anything overwhelming. however, she always kept the home spotless. It wasn't until I got home from summer camp one year that I realized our house always smelled of cleaning products.

Today, I don't mind some clothes on the floor or the bed unmade, but I cannot stand dust, scum or dirt. I have to clean it immediately.

Despite having 3 dogs, my house is fairly clean. My secrets:

1. Clean as you go. (wipe down counters after cooking, rinse out sink after brushing teeth, rinse out bath while taking a shower, etc)

2. Minimize. Throw out what you don't need, and don't set out a low of knick-knacks.

3. Living in a small house means cleaning the entire house takes my husband and I less than an hour once a week. Deep cleaning and organizing only takes 2-3 hours.

4. Clean the floors 2 - 3 times a week, especially when you have pets. (when I do it often, I usually only have to Swiffer the floors which takes just a few seconds)

RuthieatCommunityForklift, I've never heard what you describe as being ocd; rather I've heard it as being add or adhd, and alternately unfocused and then hyperfocused. And yes, I fit this description to a "T". I know "how" to clean, I just won't do it. I usually let things get really bad, then I'll do a major clean, then it starts to get bad again. I've tried most all the systems out there, basically nothing works for me, and I seem to have no ability for day-to-day maintenance. Only when it's really bad do I attain some clarity of what to do about it (crisis mode?). Wish I could figure out something that would work for me :(

I'm a visual artist with no real concept of 3D space. My mom cleaned a lot growing up but she did more storing of clutter than organizing. Now when I see clutter, I panic. I don't know what to do. It can take me up to an hour to muster up the motivation to straighten things out such as mail, stuff on the table etc. I'm learning slowing that I need to create spaces for things that are needed. I'm learning to make piles for things to keep and things to put in storage or throw out but it still takes me longer than the average person to deal. I'm cleaningly challenged.

The one thing I learned? Music is essential.

I lived w/ my Dad for a number of years and have no idea who cleaned. I had a list of chores: make my bed, brush my hair, etc, but cleaning the bathroom wasn't on there. I'm pretty sure my Dad didn't do it.

I am pretty undisciplined in general, so things don't get cleaned every week. I tend to go on cleaning binges. Time for one now!

I still haven't learned. That's how I came across this. I googled and this was one of the top results. I've had a few apartments in the past, but I still haven't learned really what works for us. I want to grow up and start being more like my mom and being able to keep my home clean, but I'm not sure what I need to do that. Help?!