I say decor with drinks being a close second. The decor is the first thing that the guests encounter and it somewhat sets the tone for their enjoyment.

Perfect timing! I'm having a party tomorrow and I'm SO worried that no one will come! Also, I'm not a native of my city and I don't have a huge group of extended friends so I worry about not having that core group that will keep things lively despite who else comes... Another question: how long should a party be? I hate the idea of starting at 7 or 8 and not having anyone come until 10...

OH -- and if you're having a cocktail party, suggestions for the bar? Better to have a signature drink or many different types of alcohol? Should you be mixing a couple options of drinks or let people decide what they want? And suggestions on food? Is it acceptable to serve fresh bread, crackers, hummus and pita chips, and a platter of fruit? Or do I need to have more of an entree/side dish like a cold pasta?

The number one party ingredient is a host or hostess that's having fun! Drinks are a close second. I just wrote an article for Elle.com on holiday dinner parties that might be helpful as well... Happy hosting!

http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Entertaining-Design/The-Entertainer-Throwing-a-Holiday-Dinner-Party

Everything depends on your specific situation.

I don't drink (well, VERY rarely) and the same is true about my partner. We don't throw parties much, but if we did, it would be a BYOB type, so obviously I don't consider alcohol a necessity. (Coffee and soft drinks are, people do get thirsty.)

My house always looks nice, so special decorations can be very minimal and still feel festive.

But food! You gotta have food. It could be as simple as chips and dips or as fancy as a multi-course meal, but something to eat is essential.

The other thing I consider critical is entertainment of some kind. Now that we have a home theater, we'd most likely have movie parties, with popcorn (we have a machine for that) and cinema treats, and the latest blu-ray. Other people might have dancing or music and someone being a DJ. Or an activity like games or crafts (the later, probably more for women or kids, unless it might be something gender neutral and maybe to create something for charity...) The thing is to have something planned to do to keep things busy and amusing. (Back in the day, Trivial Pursuit was a lot of fun, especially when we did drink and had teams...)

livc -- I can't believe you have this many questions the DAY BEFORE your party!!! All I can say is "good luck"! I'd have had the plan locked at least a week before! (But that's me.)

I'm hosting a party this weekend. I feel that the mix of people is an important ingredient. It's fun when everyone doesn't know everyone else, but I try not to invite too many people who only know me (and no one else) at the party.

For drinks, I'm doing beer, wine, and two signature drinks: pomegranate-prosecco punch (there's pear nectar in it, too), and St. Germain with Champagne.

For food, it's potluck. Everyone is bringing something, and it looks like a really good mix of food. I'm supplying most of the appetizers, most of the booze, and I'm also adding two desserts and a main course to what others are bringing.

For lighting, since the theme is winter solstice, candles will be dominant. I also have fairy lights. I'm going to try to get away with less overhead lighting.

My party's density should be between sophisticated and hot, according to the chart. Structure is good, with separate areas for entrance, bar, food, and music (all in separate rooms that flow into each other). I think I have the lighting down. Crossing my fingers for good flow.

Invite interesting people and the rest will handle itself. I can't imagine throwing a party without food, so that is just assumed. Having a variety of beverages is also assumed.

I think playing hostess and introducing people is key. Don't just say "this is so and so" and leave everyone looking awkwardly at that person. Introduce people in a way that informs others. "This is Lisa, she and I met when we took that yoga class" or "Sally and I have worked together for years. She is an amazing seamstress" or some other interesting detail that gives others a conversation opener!

You can have mediocre food and drinks, but you can't have mediocre music. Music is something that most people overlook and I've actually seen people leave a party because they didn't like what they are listening to. I've never seen people leave a party because the beer was cheap. All the party elements aside, the key to having a fun party is to have fun yourself. Everyone will take the cue from you.

Mods, please limit chenfun's posts, which shill for candles and imports. Thank you.

Mr Modtomic, oh to be a guest at one of your parties! I LOVE your ideas - fantastic!

I'm with bdig. People who are wrapped up in the music are people who stay and have fun.

That said, lighting is actually pretty important.

Go to a party where the host obliviously turns on every overhead light, and you'll realize that good lighting doesn't make a party, but bad lighting certainly ruins it.

Some thoughts on lighting.

--Main party area lighting should be appropriate for planned activities: low and indirect for dancing/chilling to music; brighter for board games.

--Start with brighter lights (when people are arriving and introducing themselves to others), then turn lights down/off.

--Have options. Don't make the entire house incredibly bright, or incredibly dim. At least one area should be well lit. Examples: the kitchen; bathroom; the place everyone dumps their coats and bags.

--Don't forget exterior lights. They should be on.

--Consider decorative bulbs. Not for emo teenagers only! I put orange bulbs in my lamps for a Halloween party. It was fun. Great no matter the occasion: temporarily replace high watt bulbs with 25 watt pink bulbs.

I agree that a relaxed host or hostess is THE single most important ingredient when it comes to throwing a successful party. You can have the greatest decor/food/drinks/lighting in the world, but if you have an uptight, nail biting host at the helm, the party is destined for disaster. Even if the crowd is thin, or you have a lot of no-shows, all you need is one energetic fun person to pull it all together -- and that person should be the host or hostess. Think back to your favorite parties and you'll see that I'm right.

Given all of the different kinds of situation, the most important thing is music, in my opinion. Everything else is relative. Why would I need to worry about decor if I'm having a party at my house, a house party, not hosting a wedding or shower or gala. A party is a party--mostly informal. On food, I find that people will be happy as long as I have the party staples: chips and dip and beer.

Then again, I live in a condo/apt and wouldn't ever plan on throwing a "fancy party" or "gala" at my place. No need to worry about decor and a bar tender/waiter.

Haha SherryBin, yes this was actually my first time hosting a party! But pretty sure it turned out well! :) I invited about 30 or 35 people to my studio apartment, and around 20 or 25 showed, which I thought was pretty good. (It's pretty spacious for a studio and I actually have plenty of places to sit, plus smokers headed to the front patio, so it did not feel overcrowded at all.) Having tons of good drinks, snacks, and cool people made it very fun. Oh, and people loved playing Catchphrase. I think party games are always a good idea.

@katalyst - you can just click on the username and on their user page is a button to report them as a spammer.

Depends on the type of party you're having: if there's dancing involved, then music is important; if it's a dinner party, the food is important. But no matter what kind of party is it, the company is the most crucial element, so check and double check your guest list!

1- Food
2- People
3- Music

I agree; the host/ess having a good time is the best ingredient for a party.

And be sure to place the bar as far as possible from the facilities to keep the guests moving and mingling.

I also agree on the most important thing being a (relatively) relaxed host and hostess. This comes from good planning. I should listen to myself more often...

I tend to obsess a lot about food, but I'm certain that the most important things are the guests. It's just that once your guest list is done, so are you. Nothing more to do. Drinks are easy too, even if you're having cocktails. The only thing to obsess about are decorations and food, food, food.

So, from a hostess point of view, since the guest list pretty much makes itself for the holidays (hello family), I take care of the food !

We entertain at least a couple times a week, and our party invitations are in demand. The most important things at our house are:

(1) a good attitude, and
(2) good drinks

Everything else is just icing on the cake. If you don't have a good attitude, you will not have a good party. If you don't have good drinks, you can still have a good party, but you have to work harder. At that point, I would say a generally decent decor, food and music would be important. With a good attitude and good drinks, however, we have had successful parties (1) with the house a mess; (2) with 30-60 people crammed into a small two bedroom (common, actually, as that is how we live); (3) with subpar food brought by others; and (4) without any music whatsoever.

People do come for the food, but some occassions are not food-based, or have a theme that doesn't really depend on great food. In any event, I never serve chips, as they ruin the decor and cheapen the party.

For the most part, all that matters is that it is clear that we are happy that everyone is there and want everyone to have the best time possible.

Good guests are number one (although, I'm including a good host with that).

If you have social, fun people at the party, the need for good drinks (and to a lesser degree, food, decor, etc. diminishes).

When people are having fun, they won't notice the absence of food and/or drinks and/or decor as much.....but bored guests will have time to pick apart every detail (or worse...leave).

I agree with those who say a relaxed and fun host is the thing that will make or break a party. When I think about the most successful parties I've thrown, they were the ones where I was less obsessed with decor and food and more interested in making sure everyone (myself included) had the most fun possible. Alcohol helps, of course, but I've thrown really fun parties (like my sister's bridal shower) that didn't involve any drinking at all.