I clean. That's pretty much it.

Never hurts to put out some family photos.

Dude, if you're such a failure you're just fooling yourself. You either choose the miserable but stable route or the happy but miserably paid route. Either way, you're going to be miserable somehow, your parents already know that.

numbskull, this is a Brooklyn princess speaking. It's a terrific opportunity to make them feel sorry for you and take you shopping. And/or even a $50 Target gift card would help.

In the meantime, borrow two folding chairs from a pal and an inflatable mattress or sleeping bag (for you.) Make sure the bed is nicely made with clean sheets, put out a $3 bunch of flowers, and at least make sure you have some milk and instant coffee for the morning.

This is a golden opportunity, my man; work it!

A good air matress with good sheets doesn't help, either.

Aw, I feel bad for your friend. Tell him to go to Target and, if he can afford it, buy a queen sized air mattress (the one with the pump included) for only about $27. If not, craigslist has free listings! Plus, mom and dad always love their kids, no matter what apartments look like. I still clean and buy them chips and dip and their favorite soda though...

A big bowl of fresh fruit - so Mom knows you're eating fruit!

if the place is clean and there are some fresh flowers, you would be surprised how homey an empty apartment can be. Also, getting some big pillows to sit on or maybe a card table and fold-up chairs with a tablecloth can make a big difference.

a little shocked by the vemon of a couple of the comments here...

that said, yes, do get some sort of air mattress/sleeping bag for yourself, make sure everything is clean, and that there are things for at least a light breakfast.

After that, it's really just a case of knowing them well enough to know what they might like to do while in town. I must say I want to see LA's automobile museum and international museum of surfing.

By the way, how is one tasked?

I agree with the milking it angle. However, I'm constantly amazed at the great stuff I see listed in the free section of craigslist. If you're able to comb the listing every half hour, with a truck or car on hand for immediate pickups you could have a nice place in a few days.

Learn from my mistake - remember to hide your love doll.

Um, "love doll"?

Indeed this is a great opportunity for a pity party, and I agree with the air mattress comments. But of course, if you have time (doesn't say exactly when it is they're visiting), browse the freecycles and Craigslist and you might be able to find some cool and free home furnishings to make things a little homier. Oh, and have their favorite beer and/or wine on hand too :-)

If he's that concerned, he should suggest some nice hotels nearby where his M&D can stay for their visit.

My first reaction is to ask how long he has been in the place. if we are talking only a little while, it is OK for him to have next to nothing. in that case I would make it spotless and make sure I have more than ramen in the pantry.

If he has been there longer, then I would freak out for other reasons. Time to get on craiglsist and find hand me down furniture or do some creative "borrowing" from construction sites. My parents struggled for a long time when they were young and they set all kinds on info to me on "brick and board" furniture.

It seems most people missed the question:

"How do you prepare for parental visits? Share it with us in the comments..."

patrick (the other one), don't act like you don't know what a "love doll" is. :P

And yes, pity party time! Obviously you should get your place as clean as possible, stock with the necessities for a nice visit for your parents so that they can see that you're trying, get some fresh flowers, family photos, maybe hang a cheap (or FREE!) piece of art or two, and sit back as your parents spoil you. :)

I'm lucky that my dad hasn't been out to LA to visit me yet (three and a half years so far, woohoo!), I have a feeling that the spoiling would be expected to happen the other way around.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/zip/831968215.html

above, FREE twin bed! pick up sheets at tjmaxx or goodwill(just wash).

tashar, thank you for your helpful comment on preparing for parental visits.

instructables has some great ideas on how to make your own furniture. I remember seeing an awesome couch made out of fedex boxes. you can still play the sympathy card, but you won't be without furniture!

ah, a link to pictures of fexex furniture
on wired</A>

When my folks come to visit, I typically pick up their favorite cereal, coffee and bottles of water, make sure I have a spare set of keys handy and pull out a map or 2 of the area. I also clean my place – dust and vacuum and wash the bathroom and sheets the day before. My mom actually likes going to the drugstore right when she gets into town and pick up her own face wash and hair products (very curly hair) if she is staying for an extended amount of time.

I've been where you are--that's the ONLY reason I bought a couch. I'm going to give it to you straight and to get the most bang for your buck.

First things first. Get on Freecycle and Craigslist (under free) today!! Sometimes you can find some really great stuff --FOR FREE!!! -- Contact folks immediately and tell them your situation. They are usually kind-hearted and suckers for a great cause!!

As far as what you can be doing in the meantime??

Your second step is how you want to be perceived.
A. Like you are a "struggling actor" who needs immediate necessities from mommy and daddy.
B. Like a struggling actor who could use some assistance from the family.
C. Like you got it together and don't need any help.

Pick one and move on from there. If you pick A. yes.. don't go on. Just have something for them to snack on and some flowers on the table. They'll get the picture. If you have food they won't treat you out when you get there.

Here's what I would do if you really want to try to put your best foot forward, and possibly receive some assistance from the kindness of your parents heart. If you haven't been in any A or B movies that they've heard of...if they are good parents they'll help you out without being asked or tricked.

So you've chosen to be a good kid and look like you're actually taking steps forward:

1. Look like you tried!!

2. Look like you miss them - Definitely put some pics up of you and the family and CLOSE friends (if you have a computer and printer you can do black a whites--they look more stylish) go get some cheap black frames and voila!! Here where I live we have a dollar store. I got 20 black metal frames and I hung splices of 1 picture. bought 20 frames (covers a 5' X 5') area on my wall.
Here's the website...the best part...it's FREE...http://www.blockposters.com/default.aspx

3. Hang anything else on walls - make your bike, guitar, etc. and use them as modern art. That can be slightly expensive but makes a statement. My guitar hangers were 20 bucks ea. ouch.

4. local hardware store for shelving. An inexpensive shelving system... 2 bars on the wall, wood, you can even paint the wood to match your decor. The metal is screwed into the wall you place wood planks in rows and voila. Shelving put whatever you have on them...pick up nick knacks from Freecylers in your area.

5. Use the above suggestions. I think they're great...fruit, coffee, mattress for comfort, clean linen, etc....

6. Think outside the box...Free maps of New York (take some and put them together), old calendars make great Get old CD covers put those on the wall, or CDs themselves and cover a whole wall for about 30 bucks for 100 CDs-- that's a great project!!

7. Get some friends to help you so you don't run into a time crunch.

8. Finally, at least make sure your place is clean. You have no excuse if its empty.

I hoped I helped! If I was in New York I would definitely help. If all else fails and you need a friend, I know a guy...he's great at design...and would help!

P.S. I KNOW this is waaay too long. This is what I'm an expert at...making something out of nothing!! --Don't forget to enjoy yourself. You'll miss them when they leave.

oops Old Calendars...you can use photos and hang them.

i just buy a ton of wine and cheese and make reservations galore... at a hotel and at restaurants. after 11 years of living in brooklyn i have finally convinced them that tiny living isn't conducive to guests. it is a relief to say the least and this is coming from someone who adores her parents...

I am a mother and remember when my mother visited my bare apartment in the San Francisco Mission of the 70s. Mothers are more concerned about the home being clean, the neighborhood safe, and the grown child living a purposeful life. Enjoy your parents' visit. Stop stressing. Mom will buy groceries no matter what you buy. You don't need to do anything but clean.

I clean my apartment. I've also learned the hard way: whereas I have no problem "eating on the go," my parents are deeply suspicious of coffee shops, Dunkin Doughnuts, and "brunch." Having cornflakes or pie on hand for breakfast keeps them happy.

The first time my parents went to visit my sister and her husband, their living room consisted of a massive plasma TV, XBox and a folding chair. I feel like it has taken all the heat off me. Forever.

If you can't find what you need quickly enough on freecycle and CL free list, ask friends if you can borrow certain items: a rug, a vase or two, a couple of extra chairs and small tables, some window coverings or art for the walls. As others have said, clean well, demonstrate how glad you are to see them and trust that if you have a basically solid relationship, they'll see the effort you made and you'll all be just fine. Not sure where to go in LA, but you could also trawl yard sales at the end of the day on Sunday and offer to take any items folks didn't sell that might suit your needs. You'd be surprised how eager people are not to put everything back into the basement. Good luck!

when my parents come to visit, I make sure that they have their favorite breakfast things. I am a tea person and they are coffee people, so I dig the coffee maker they gave me for these occasions out and make sure that I can find some filters.

I clean. my mom has a habit of finding the one cabinet/closet that I haven't organized and organizes it. which is kind of annoying and kind of nice. and I clear out my dvr. I don't really want my parents to know all of the crap that I record.

If you go for free stuff from Craig's List, please, please, please, show up. I've sold and given things away on CL and, by far, the people interested in free stuff are the biggest flakes.

I'm also on a very limited budget and have a tiny apartment. My parent's are flawed in many ways, but the one thing they do that I love is to get themselves a hotel room close to where I live.
I don't have to worry about fixing them breakfast since they eat at the hotel.
In exchange for my driving them around town they even fill up my car and buy my lunch and dinner.

Clean, make sure I've got coffee and orange juice, and brace myself for the inevitable awkward talk about gay sex. (thanksgiving 05 was the worst)

Seriously - if you're worried about your place - go rob a half dozen milk crates from a grocery store. Use four of them as seating and two with a scavenged Ikea shelf as a coffee table (which is what I've been doing since i moved)

A book about minimalist architect John Pawson would add lovely bit of irony (see link)

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i207/modernlover62/ALBUM%202/6-8.jpg

Rent furniture! It's fairly inexpensive to rent furniture for a week or so...and then you get to see what it's like to live like a real grown-up for awhile to hopefully motivate you to get a real job to afford real furniture! I hope you are only 18 or 19 years old and not closing in on 30 if you are living in an empty apartment and chasing the impossible dream. There is chasing your dream and sacrificing to reach it, and then there is just being blind to the fact that your train has already left the station and it's time to move on.

To prepare for my parental arrival, I just make sure my apartment is neat and clean. I have a sectional sofa right now but I'm actually purchasing a chaise sectional and two armchairs to provide more comfortable seating when they do come over, to prevent everyone from having to squish together on the sectional, roomy as it is. I have a real place to live in, though...it's just rude to ask your parents to sit on a floor cushion or a metal folding chair.

why would his parents put him out like this? they can't stay at a hotel/motel?

just being snarky. if he's in such a tight spot, i agree with air mattress and lots of cheapies on craigslist/ikea/target.

but you didn't need us to come up with that answer.

weezy2, you're not really a princess if you would be happy with instant coffee. Blech.

Parents coming???

1. Spazz out a little - gets the adrenaline flowing which helps me...
2. Clean like mad
3. Go shopping
a. their drinks of choice (makes people happy)
b. some snacks
c. eggs, peppers, milk, butter, cheese, good bread (look, its breakfast and/or snacks and usable after they leave
4. Clean again. Think mom-like, clean the baseboards and the back of the toilet. (There's more to cleaning the toilet mom-style than just the bowl.)
5. Write down the movie times
6. Make food reservations and mentally plan a selection of restaraunts
7. Think of what do-it-yourself plan they might like to participate in (my dad loves to do stuff, I try to figure out what would be fun to do before he gets there)
8. Find a deck of cards for some game play

Yeah, furniture made from FedEx boxes would make the parents worry LESS. Yeah, that's it.

Yes, I know what a "love doll" is. Just that title makes it, um, REALLY creepy. To quote Tina Turner, "What's love got to do with it?"

I named mine Thor.