It's a no-brainer. When faced with the question of whether I prefer quality or style in my furniture, the answer is undeniably and wholeheartedly, "Both." But sometimes you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, and you can't have it both ways.
Let's just say that I would never call my partner "the devil" or "the deep blue sea," but we're in the process of moving in together, and as many can attest, the joys of moving in are always tempered by those "keep or ditch" questions. We've talked about the tensions of cohabitating before on Apartment Therapy, and you're probably familiar with the usual suspects: finances, conflicting aesthetics, cleanliness expectations, etc. But as we talked, I found that we were faced with a more specific quandary. When evaluating our furniture, we found ourselves asking, how much should quality come into play versus aesthetic considerations?
Before we continue, let me insert a disclaimer: I actively like many of my partner's belongings, and a number of the items that we're going to keep are his. That said, I'm not a fan of his dining table. Objectively, it's fine. It's a mission-style affair, in great condition, made of high quality wood, and having lifted it, I can attest that this table is as sturdy as they come. But the finish is too orangey for my liking, and while mission-style is perfect for some people (and downright beautiful in the right room), my tastes lean more to the funky and modern than to the classic. And so do my partner's.
Enter the quandary. I've got an Ikea Docksta table, and I've been happy with it in my bachelorette pad. My partner likes the looks of the table, and he's told me that he wouldn't mind if we keep it. Great, right? But then my practical side kicked in. How much shelf life do IKEA products tend to have? And even if it were to last for a while longer, is it realistic to get rid of a table built to outlast my progeny in favor of something of a lesser quality? It's not in our budget right now to get rid of both and buy something that we both like. And even if we sell both tables on Craigslist, the chances of getting enough money to buy a new dining room table seems like a bit of a gamble.
Generally, this issue isn't going to gum up the works. I know that we'll keep one of the tables, save up for a new one, and at some point in the future we'll replace it, either because we prefer another one's looks or because the IKEA one has passed its prime. But on a broader level, I find this question interesting because I think its causes and effects go beyond the cohabitation context. Decor is always a balancing act between budget, style, comfort, and quality, but it seems that when we discuss our ideal spaces, there's often an unspoken negligence of at least one aspect. In my experience, the stars rarely align for all four. I've lamented in the past that my budget has forced me into the realm of IKEA furnishings, but now that I'm faced with the prospect of moving out of IKEA-land, I'm realizing that while quality is important, it isn't everything.
Don't get me wrong. I love well-crafted pieces, and it's hard not to feel a bit silly when getting rid of one in favor of something less durable but more attractive. But it also feels much less personal to have the "not-my-style" piece in my home. What do you think? Should one always "trade up" when buying new furniture? Or is it okay to get rid of something of nice quality in order to purchase something of lesser quality?
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I got rid of my mother in law's antique oak chest and bought a lesser quality piece.
I usually love old stuff but I just couldn't have that thing in my house even though it was a great quality.
Get a tablecloth. Put it on the good quality table. Problem solved.
Put his table in storage. Your table is for the young-at-heart and will probably wear out in 10 years. At that point you two will also be in the "comfortable shoes" phase of your relationship and the mission table is perfect for this stage until you grow old together.
Something that is high quality will become less high quality if it becomes burdensome to you. For instance, expensive cars. Some cars are very high quality, but when their maintenance becomes burdensome to you or you find them too complicated to fix easily, the quality becomes less of a factor in whether you should keep it. It's simply NOT something that suits your lifestyle any longer. That's when you trade it in for a more practical (if lesser quality) design.
The key is to never trade high quality for no quality. Always try to preserve some kind of quality, or else you'll still be unhappy.
Great question and a quandary that has led to numerous disagreements betwen myself and my husband. I married into an entire household of his furniture. It's all well-crafted, and heavy, and expensive. However, it is all too matchy, and it is a shade of cherry that I've never been too fond of. Worst yet is the coffee table, also cherry, which cannot actually be used as such for fear of marring its surface. My dislike for these pieces (which I am sure is due in part to the fact that he and his ex-girlfriend bought them together) is compounded by the fact that the modern style of the pieces contrasts with the antique charm of our new (old) house.
I haven't found a way to compromise on these pieces. Honestly, I hate them, but because they were so expensive, I can't justify getting rid of them by selling them for a fraction on Craig's list.
I would appreciate any advice on nudging my auction/antique/flea market finds more into the focus of the decor. Technically, my pieces are "trading down" as they are generally purchased for bargains and are a result of hours of research, searching and shopping.
What Duane Hill said. At 50, settled into a long-time home and long-time relationship, I (strongly) prefer the pieces that are built solid and have classic lines, and I don't care that much about what's super cool (I've been through three distinct design phases of super cool). That doesn't mean that I don't care about how things look, but my preferences for design have shifted to go along with preferring quality/long-lasting. Yours preferences will shift over time, too. So enjoy that Docksta table until you don't anymore.
As we're getting older we definitely prefer better quality stuff over "disposable" furniture. But we're tending to buy more vintage pieces (at least for non-upholstered) than new, because they're just so well made.
Bringing your styles together can be so hard. And sometimes really disappointing. I had a really hard moment last week when a friend sent me a link to a company that makes my dream headboard (wicker, peacock detailing, over the top) for under $200. And I just knew I couldn't do it. I thought back to an article on here about a couple that lives in two small houses on one lot. If kids weren't in the future for us, I think it would work well. My house would be very, very pink.
A practical consideration - If you are going to replace whichever table you keep now, keep the one that will have the best resale, the one that will actually last the longest.
Yes to the tablecloth.
@Berit: I would try to make a compromise- get rid of a few of the pieces, keep a few. Could you customize a few of the pieces so you don't mind them as much? Maybe you could you stain a few of the pieces? Would changing the hardware make a difference? Definitely get rid of the coffeetable, if its unpractical you have the perfect reason to get rid of it.
Maybe look for the perfect replacements, something thats high quality but a great deal (on sale, or a thriftstore/craigslist find) and show them to your boyfriend. If you already have the perfect replacement he might react more positive than if you just suggest something new.
After all its your space too, so you definetely shoud have a say and bring your own style into it. Tell him that it should be a mix of both your styles and that you as a couple also should buy a few pieces.
Are modern chairs an option? It has become fashionable to include something obviously traditional in an otherwise modern room.
If this is not an option, as much as I want to agree with Duane Hill, storage could be more costly in the long run than finding a quality piece when you're ready for it.
Keep whatever makes you happiest when you walk in the door after a long day at work.
I'm currently in the process of getting rid of a very well made, sturdy, bedroom furniture set... I realized after so many years - I just don't feel any positive feelings about it. Even tough the drawers slide awesome & it's not ugly.. it's not my style.
I got rid of the armoire first. Then my favorite part of the set, the cute nightstand. I replaced it with a small metal cart I got for $1.50.
Shot of the "after" cart here:
http://ourfunwithfive.blogspot.com/2012/07/factory-findings-industrial-fan-vintage.html
Perhaps a huge furniture downgrade at a glance to many. But I love it. And that's what matters, the feeling you get from the things surrounding you!
I don't believe in owning anything I don't love.
Keep the one you know will last until you can afford a good new one. Urbancricket hit the nail on the head.
I like Ikea, but I wouldn't pick it over something that would last, as long as it isn't hideous. Seconding the suggestion that you refinish the quality table in a color you like better, and get some modern chairs.
Are those pictures of the actual tables?
You mentioned "budget, style, comfort, and quality". I'd add functionality/practicality. And for me, that's first. (Sometimes that one engulfs budget and comfort...)
In the case of the orangey Mission style table, I think Mission works very well with contemporary -- I use them together in my house. So, with that in mind, if it's only the color that you don't like, maybe you can refinish it (or have it professionally refinished) in a color you like better. (I think Mission might look cool in ebony, for instance. Or a funky colored stain, like fuchsia or green, maybe.)
If that doesn't work for you, and you really do NOT want to live with that table, I'd sell the sucker and use the proceeds to buy something you do love. It sounds like your partner's tastes run with yours, so it's not like at some point in the future he is likely to regret getting rid of the piece. So, if that's true, use the IKEA and save up for a beautiful table you both love.
With the cherry wood ex-girlfriend's pieces, I'd talk frankly to your husband about the unpleasant feelings they give you. It's just furniture. You shouldn't let furniture eat away at you! Tell him you want to sell the stuff and buy something together that you both love, and then do that! If it's expensive, take your time and hold out for a realistic price -- say half or more of retail, IF everything is in excellent condition. (You can wait, right??) If any of the pieces are OK with you separately, maybe they could be saved. (A nice table looks different with a tablecloth and different chairs, for example.)
I don't have kids, so the level of heirloom quality some folks here value has no meaning to me. I don't want true junk, and I do want things (practically/functionally) that work for my life, but I am on a teensy budget and a lot of my furniture is second-hand or IKEA. I like most of what I have (even the IKEA) enough that I probably wouldn't upgrade it even if I had got a bunch of money. My home is aesthetically pleasing and comfortable. I don't have aspirations for it to be a jaw-dropping interior showplace, that wouldn't be comfortable for me to live in. (Besides, not sure whose jaw would drop -- certainly not the people WE entertain!!) (OK, maybe I'd replace the Billy shelves with built-ins -- but maybe not, too!)
I definitely agree with the previous poster about keeping the higher quality table and using modern chairs.
I also had a Docksta table when my boyfriend first moved in. I had always been really careful with it, but shortly after he moved in his shoes very quickly started marking up the stupid porous base to the point that magic erasers could no longer help much. And the key scratches on the tabletop, they seriously drove me crazy. Luckily our relationship survived all this, but the table didn't.
On a budget we replaced it with a mid century walnut table that was only $100 on Craigslist (cheaper than the Ikea one), and five years later it looks as good as the day we brought it home. I don't know how many Dockstas I would have had to replace in that amount of time, but we probably would have ended up spending as much as a real Saarinen costs. White particle board is better suited to the single life.
Keep the quality table.
what urbancricket said. refinish it if the orange hue is too much for you. and reupholster the present chairs (if applicable) or get more modern chairs, or even mix up vintage and modern chairs.
since the docksta is an ikea you can easily dismantle it and store elsewhere or use it in a breakfast nook perhaps?
Keep the quality piece and exercise your imagination. This is a season of growth, is it not?
Really, this is a no-brainer. If you have to ask the question, you're not ready to hear the answer.
I was going to buy that same IKEA table when my husband and myself moved into our house. I had concerns about the quality and decided to search craigslist for a bit. I ended up finding an Eames designed Herman Miller designed table (pretty much just like this one http://www.mancha.demon.co.uk/et123.jpg) for the same price as the IKEA table. It looks great and will last for another 50 years.
The easy way out: sell both tables, and with the money, buy a high quality table you will both love. Voilà, problem solved!
In any case, the choice should always be to ditch the IKEA stuff. Except for their Billy bookcases which are in fact sturdy, everything else won't last.
Could you not refinish his high-quality table to make it more fitting for a modern space?
It's amazing what I change in finish/color can do!
I have a tendency to get rid of as much IKEA as possible. I love their stuff and they do make some pieces that are keepers, but my bf and I find that IKEA pieces can look very cheap and listless next to high quality furniture.
@Torontogirl - I know what you mean. I get irritated with all the IKEA-bashing on here, but I have to admit - I feel as if I'm 'getting away with' so much IKEA stuff because I live in an amazing old house with good bones, plus I have it mixed in with a lot of older stuff (vintage Turkish carpet, worn leather sofa).
I'm moving to a modern apartment soon, and am a bit worried it's going to look like a crappy student flat with my white Expedit and my IKEA dining table front and centre. :/
If the wood table in the photo is the table in question, check and see if the legs will come off & store it under the bed and use the other you like for a while.
Or, think about refinishing or a tablecloth. Nothing was said about the chairs; Get rid of all/any you're sure you don't need. If you flat out don't care for something, the quality is meaningless; give someone else the chance to enjoy it.
I don't think that the pieces in the pictures are the pieces in question. Mission style is a very specific look. The table in the right photo is what I'd call a farmhouse table.
I suggest that you sell it the mission style table to someone who will enjoy it. Don't have a dining room table that you dislike! It's probably quite large, and a tablecloth isn't going to change that. Also, all of the other decor decisions related to that area of the house will probably be constrained by a table that doesn't match your style. In the meantime, use the Ikea table, as long as it's not in disrepair. You both like it, right?
You two will eventually find the "right" upgrade for your living situation. If this item were a small side table or something that just fit perfectly into an awkward space, maybe I'd have a different response, but you're not going to enjoy looking at this big table that doesn't fit your style.
If you end up keeping the mission style table and actually finding a way to make it "work," please post a "before and after," or something of that sort. I think it would be challenging, and we'd all be interested to learn from a successful solution.
Just to make things more complicated (or maybe easier) there's Quality, Style and there's Love.
If one of you loves the Mission table, find a way to keep it, even if you don't use it immediately. On the other hand, if neither of you loves it, don't keep it just because it's good quality. Sell it to someone who will love it and use the money for something you both love. Maybe save it toward a real Saarinen table, if that's a style you both love.
I would never, ever hang onto something just because it is good quality. It's about all three - style, quality and love.
Style is definitely more important to me. Quality is appreciated but if you can't bear the sight of it, let it go. My sister gave us a huge, modern, round, white coffee table but it didn't fit in with anything. We could spare the space, but I managed to convince my mum that having Grandma tripping over it was too big a risk. But frankly, it's because there was nothing else white or round in the living room. We were later given (I think, by my sis again) a much smaller, pine, rectangular coffee table. It was perfect!
I have a love/hate relationship with IKEA. In that, we have IKEA furniture that has lasted well over a decade + with no signs of wear and tear.
And then others - like the DOCKSTA - which I debated over buying for ages, I realized the moment I saw the store model, that I didn't want it after I saw what it looked like with a million people sitting on it daily. Shoe, scuff marks, etc. Now obviously it won't be that extreme in your home, but, it was still eye opening.
Quality furniture is great but if it's not your style, what's the point in having it in your home? ITA with @ AART - always own things that you love. I've declined a lot of great hand me downs from family just because it was not my aesthetic. I'd rather have my HEMNES dressers than an old style oak cabinet for now.
Ditch the cheapo stuff and have the 'real' furniture refinished in a color thay befits it and that you like. You'll never be sorry.
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How about painting it white? You still have the quality without the table being orangy, dark and it will also seem lighter in white.
I personally have a lot of Ikea furniture that I like and that has lasted a good while - and even if I might have spent more if I had more money I also don't just feel like i was settling for now to replace things later on.
At the end of the day I agree with others that what matters most is if you love the things you own, even if they might be cheap or not the most sturdy or even that practical. When it comes to our homes - does it really matter what others think you should or shouldn't do?
Sell docksta, refinish the wood table with danish oil and a darker finish and buy modern white chairs.
I totally agree with the idea of keeping what you love. And that it's a good thing to pass on something that you just don't like in order to give it a home with someone who will love it. As for the lady who is surrounded by things that her husband bought with his ex, that alone is grounds to get rid of it IMO. The things we surround ourselves with have so much meaning and if so areconstantly reminded of a partner's previous relationship, that is a not a great way to live (unless it doesn't bug you).
As for Ikea, I've had things fall apart or I've decided they weren't for me but the items in question were usually worth what I paid both in terms of use and longevity. Plus, people seem to love to buy used Ikea stuff on Craigslist.
I would keep the wood table and use it as desk or work table in a guest room. Then when the IKEA on breaks, you have the option of moving that one in. Personally, I prefer the IKEA table, but that's only because it's round.
Save the good quality piece. You'll find a use for it some day.