I used to "straighten up" my apartment when the parents came to visit -- books, posters, photos -- anything that would out me to Mom and Dad. On their second visit, even though I wasn't out yet, I just didn't bother. The "Girls on the Loose" magnet stayed on the fridge, the "Dykes to Watch Out For" poster stayed in the bathroom. And that was the day when my apartment truly became MY apartment.

Hahaha, I love this post because I find myself doing the same things! It's funny that as a blogger myself, I have no problem having my home out in the open for strangers but when my parents come over, I double (and triple) check to make sure that the PG-13 things in my life are tucked away!

I had a magnet on the fridge that said "F*** You, I'm Smoking" with one of the old pinup girls on it. My roommate and I thought it was funny because while neither of us smokes, we liked that kind of an attitude. And then one day, it was gone. For a long time, I thought she took it down to hide from her parents, and she had thought the same about me. But nope, just gone. Neither of us has any idea where it went.

When my parents come to visit, instead of taking things down or putting things away, I find myself putting things out. Specifically things they´ve given me that I thought were ugly or tacky, I store until they visit. Fortunately, I recently moved overseas and they know that I wasn´t able to bring everything with me. I always try to buy their favorite products when they come though--my dad´s cube sugar for tea, my mom´s favorite wine, etc. I think they notice these things more.

One of the wonderful things about growing older (I'm 47) is that you worry about this stuff a lot less. I think my mother considers me weird but lovable and has learned to accept my quirks. When I was 19, she disowned me for a year or two for moving in with my then-boyfriend; now she and I laugh about my "sorry I missed church, I was practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian" fridge magnet. My father dying a couple of months ago helped to put this little stuff in perspective.

This is funny...I never thought about putting any of my art away. I have a lot of nudes in the place. My mom has never said anything about them, though I don't think they are her taste.

Yeah, the problem was when I was put away to "straighten" the apartment for the parents.

I figure if you don't want someone to see/ know you did something then you shouldn't have/ do that something.

A friend/neighbor of mine (a professional, home-owning mid-twenties woman) used to hide her live-in boyfriend each time her parents came to visit. His stuff all got stashed away or moved out, and it was a fairly big production.

Maimafter40 - owch! Now that would test a relationship.

Bills. I take down the bills I KIV on my fridge so I don't have to sit through another talk on the importance of budgeting and living within my means :P

urbancricket - Un fortunately, not all of our parents are so accepting.

I do the same thing. We have dirty magnetic poetry that gets taken off the fridge, and I move around certain bedroom items so that they are at the back of my nightstand instead of the front.

@Maimafter40, if I'm reading your post correctly, you've had a wrenching experience. I hope you no longer straighten for anyone.

speaking as as 'rent with two daughters in their twenties, I am shocked, shocked! We have casually found vials of less than aromatic partially burned herbs, though nothing overtly sexual in our kids' apartments. We just roll with it (no, I didn't say we roll it). Your parents will too. Your parents are of the generation that invented sex. Get a clue.

My daughter is moving out. It is her place she could do what she wants as long as I am welcome in her place. I know all the dirty words. I would never dream of a bad comment because it isn't my business anymore. It is freedom for me too. If I give her a gift she doesn't like I would prefer she tell me so I won't waste my money.

Reading this makes me feel incredibly fortunate to have the loving, open-minded parents that I do. I did find myself censoring up the place when my fridge stopped working a few weeks ago and the landlord had to come over. Mister Rogers flipping off the camera and http://thebloggess.com/2012/02/her-name-is-juanita-juanita-weasel-unless-you-can-think-of-something-better/ (the souffle magnet) did come down...

I have a framed Playboy cover in my bathroom because the image is of a woman in a bubble bath. I also have nude art, dirty-worded fridge magnets and a movie poster with violent imagery displayed in my home. But what offends my mother when she visits? My orange and brown-striped MCM Danish sofa (she prefers her floral print velours living room suite :P).

My parents are always too busy nitpicking anything in my home that isn't spotless to notice what is on the walls. :)

Miamiafter40 - I join others in wishing you all happiness in your life. Shame on the fool who failed to see how wonderful you are and what happiness you could add to everyone's life by meeting the parents!

Oh my. I wish this was my problem. When my father comes to visit, I hide my alcohol. Not because I don't want him to know I drink (after all, I'm in my 30s) but because I don't want him to drink it. He's an angry drunk and moderation hasn't turned out to be his strong suit.

In the old days, it was hiding the bong. Now, it's remembering to pull out the awful faux-Picasso teapot my mother-in-law gave us when she comes to visit. I guess that's called growing up...?

The cigar humidor. My mom knows we smoke cigars, but she doesn't like it. Having them out distracts from meaningful conversation.

My family is ok with the nudes and swear words but I hide anything that might point to the fact that I am not the same religion as the rest of them. I am not ashamed of my views but I really don't want anything that can give them a reason to start a 24 hour lecture on how I need to be saved. I thinking removing things that protect your own sanity is just fine.

My father has been a recovering alcoholic for the past 10 years and is very preachy about it. I find myself putting away the wine rack when he comes to visit, and though he's likely well aware that I drink, but I don't drink in his presence and I take this one simple step in my home when he comes over. I'm not ashamed, I just like having anything that may bring up the subject of alcohol "out of sight, out of mind."

I hide things from my mother because she's constantly asking, "Why do you have this? Can I throw it out?"

Actually, hiding my clutter doesn't even stop her. She cleans out a couple of cupboards every time she visits.

Why can't we just be honest with everyone? Unless you're talking lube, condoms and sex toys, why hide things? My Mom once commented on my Tom of Finland coffee table book. What could I say but "it's art!"

We naturally have the Steve Lambert print, but since it hangs above our bedroom door, you'd pretty much have to be on our bed to see it making it parent/in-law safe. :)

@MIAMIAFTER40..great line! I must say...

My parents came to visit last month and I had them stay in my room. It was against their wishes, but they are getting up there, my bed is larger, and I consider my futon in the library very comfortable. So I, um, "cleaned" the room very well before the visit. Removed any toys in the drawers, any "interesting" books on the nightstand, etc. My mom is a nurse and way too open to that kind of stuff, but my dad is honestly stuck in the 50s. He doesn't get offended, he just gets *really* flustered. I also slightly rearrange my books. I have 6 billies in my library and my dad used to like roaming the shelves ... until he found the writings of de Sade once, and nearly fainted. He started acting like there were venomous snakes hiding in my shelves that would come out to bit him. So every time since I've put the more .... interesting works on a less easily accessible shelf, and kept the histories front and center.

The only thing I do to prepare is tidy up. I don't really have anything thats too offensive up anyways so I don't worry about it. The only thing I can think of is perhaps some of my more science-y or atheist books for when my very religious pastor of a mother-in-law comes over but eh, I just leave them on the bookshelf where they always are. You shouldn't have to hide who you are but at the same time you shouldn't display who you are in a blatantly confrontational in-your-face kind of matter.

People, including family, who don't get who we are and what we have are not welcome in our home. Period. I CLEAN for guests, I wash sheets, I grocery shop, but I don't modify who we are or what we have on display.

That said, I can't think of anything objectionable except my "pantheon" of deities from various cultures that includes a Pieta and R2D2 in the same display -- I swear, but my walls don't. I have an undergrad degree in art, so it goes without saying that I have made plenty of nude drawings, but none are on display...

To MISS RISS - Yes, but I'm sure some people have nude photos of themselves for their spouse that maybe are out. (Def. not me, but ya know, I'm sure someone does.) If I did, I sure as hell know I wouldn't leave them out for my parents or my hub's. That's just silly. I totally, totally disagree.

Well, considering my mom introduced me to romance novels when I was in elementary school (age appropriate books were too simple for my reading level) and one of the pictures I've had on the wall of my bedroom for ages did have a nude woman in it (gotta love Dali's love of his wife), I don't think anything would shock my parents at this point.

I don't think I've ever hidden anything from my mother when she comes to visit. It might be that she is to frequent a visitor, or that I get my sense of very adult humor from her. But it would seem silly to hide my (small) collection of nudes, pin-ups or general vulgarity from her. She was there for most of those purchases, or to give me advice on my paintings.

My grandma or my roommate's parents or my boyfriend's parents are a different story. They are much less appreciative of my general lechery, but I don't hide anything from them either. If anyone questions my possessions I just point out what I like about it, and people generally either grow a sense of humor, or shyly avoid looking at whatever embarrassed them.

The post and comments remind me of the "straighten up" scene in The Birdcage :)

The few parents who've posted here saying "get a clue" - it's wonderful that you're so accepting & willing to roll with it, but that sure isn't the case with all parents.

My Dad in particular is incredibly fussy about cleanliness and decor - I used to have a bright turquoise ceramic parrot that he consistently talked about how "weird" it was - along with my other colourful art & decorations. For anyone outside my family I don't care at all, but to avoid lectures and feeling put down when my family visits, I scrub scrub scrub and 'normalize' my apartment. For the record, I nicknamed my parrot Big Blue and was heartbroken when my cat knocked it over & shattered it.

My mom is a spendthrift, and as she's gotten older she's become extremely judgmental of what other people (including me and my siblings) buy and how others spend their money...So when she comes over I put away things she'll deem expensive or "hoity toity" (yes, she uses that phrase!), because I just don't need her silently putting price tags on the furniture, food and clothes that I worked hard for, saved for, and purchased consciously.

whoops...meant to say my mom is far from a spendthrift...in fact, my MIL is the spendthrift

@Krikkit, I had a friend who did the same thing and it boggled the mind. She and her boyfriend were on the lease together, and she would go so far as to place a piece of tape with just her name on their apartment buzzer and mailbox so her parents wouldn't see his name there as well. Oddly enough, the parents knew and liked the boyfriend -- he would leave the apartment and hang out in a coffee shop until they arrived, and then "come over" from his "apartment a few blocks away." My friend's mom just wasn't okay with the idea of living together before marriage. I cannot even imagine.

As for me, I don't hide anything, but I guess my tastes don't really run towards whatever might be considered inappropriate by a different generation. Also, I get along well with my parents and I can't think of anything they would be offended by in the first place. I do try to clean up for them, though, because my mom especially can't sit down and relax in a messy room and she will start cleaning up for me! (which could be seen as a benefit, but it just makes me feel super guilty)

I didn't care, but for a while my wife would hide the "F**k Cancer" cross-stich a friend gave me after getting better and a pipe a friend gave us as a wedding present. Now though, I think she's stopped caring.

I don't care who sees my things. It's MY place. I have S&M gear hanging on my walls and fetish masks on styrofoam heads. I am very open about what i'm into and any guests that come to my place should accept that. I won't censor my taste and my lifestyle.
I have not heard anything negative. I don't have kids in the house so I think it should be fine.

Sure I wouldn't leave a vibrator or dildo out if I had one.

Wow, I think it's so sad so many people have such judgemental families. I consider myself very lucky that I don't have to hide any part of myself from my family. I mean, there's is of course a place for everything (no dildos on the kitchen counter) but really I am unashamed of anything found in my house. But I guess thats also because my loved ones don't make me feel ashamed of who I am or what my interests are.
Also, Calamitycj, The Blogess shout out!

i leave it all out. pretty much all of my art is politically or sexually, um,... out there, and to take it all down would be a hassle. it's not to my parents' taste, but they don't care anyway. when i was visiting them one year, their next door neighbour was selling a bunch of frank kozik posters. i picked up one of a topless she-devil in a swastika thong who is riding a nude jesus and stabbing him with a pitchfork while saying "it's a living." my mom saw it and said i should hang it over my fireplace.

it turns out, my early-to-mid 20s friends are the ones that have a problem with my pulp fiction book cover fridge magnets, my nude fetish line drawings, my AIDS awareness posters, and the aforementioned kozik print.