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You've solved your own problem let your children play with them. Maybe you could tell your in-laws you don't enjoy these things. I wouldn't be offended in a case like this.

Wow! What a problem. And I thought I had it bad with my in-laws giving us Australia stuff (Gee thanks! Another koala bear!)

My advise is to A) let the kids break the most hideous of it or B) find one room in the house to be the "Fire Fighter Room" I'd suggest a small seldom used bathroom. That way, most of your house can remain clutter free just the way you like it. You can tell your relatives about your newly dedicated "special room" and they can pack it full of kitchy junk. You'll have a funny conversation starter with house guests too!

Why not use the stuff to decorate your kids' rooms? If the stuff is generally kitschy plastic junk, then there's no need to go out of your way to preserve it forever in a special cupboard (ugh, then they'd expect you to have it forever).

I'd also quietly donate some of the more kid-appropriate stuff (the holidays and all the charity toy drives are coming up), then blame the kids for breaking stuff if your in-laws ask.

Just hand it over to the kids. When they break it, you can say "the kids play fireman all the time and break everything." I guarantee you the care packages of ugly crap will stop. Then free cycle the remainder to the local library play room.

Personally, I'd just send it to goodwill without an explanation.

I unfortunately don't have a recommendation to make, but the above posters seem to have missed the point that Kate appears to NOT want to offend her in-laws, which most of the above suggested solutions ultimately would.

Donate all but the most recent piece. Then, when they come to visit, display it prominently.

Tell them how much the homeless kids at the shelter loved the other firetrucks.

Do you have a garage? Why not organize it into a "fire house" and let all of the kitch live there? Put up a few inexpenive shelves by the tool bench and make a fire fighter shrine, hang the figher fighter parking only sign, and call it good.

Is one of your in-laws handy/crafty? If so, you can ask them for help. Gather all the fireman stuff together on the living room floor or kitchen table and tell your chosen in-law, "I just have so much of this now, I really can't display it all. I'm going to pick out just a few things and I need your help to think of a great way to display them."
They may be offended. You might end up with a giant wooden firetruck display case, in which case the only practical solution will be to move to a smaller home with zero storage space.
Or just maybe you'll end up with an elegant storage solution AND an end to the stream of junk.

put the rare stuff on ebay, which your in-laws will see and buy for you and then you can put back on ebay, which your inlaws will... (Might as well make money on it)

While you don't want to offend your in-laws, lying to them for the rest of your life will be trying on you. If there is one particular in-law who may be more understanding than the others, try speaking with that relative first and explain your dilemma.

If that's not an option, rather than let your kids break the items, nicely illustrate to your relatives that these items are not child-proof. Break a small part off of one of the gifts and take a photo of it. Send it with a note to all of the offending in-laws so that it doesn't target one in particular.

Tell them:While you and your husband are so appreciative of their thoughtful gifts, you've noticed that these kind of novelty items have small parts that appear to be choking hazards. For the safety of your kids and their friends, you unfortunately think it's for the best to donate the items to Goodwill. You feel so bad about it, and you thought it would be best to let them know so that they wouldn't get the wrong idea the next time they came to visit. If they'd still like to show their appreciation for your brave hubby, you know that he and his fellow firefighters always appreciate relatives sending snacks or treats.

This will only work so long as your kids are small, but with chronic crap-givers, half of the problem is their shopping routine of grabbing this stuff whenever they see it. Break the routine for a few years and hopefully it won't come back.

If you do not like looking at the stuff, do not buy a special display case. I have a similar issue with my in-laws and I would just get upset every time I looked at a full display case of junk.

Definitely let the kids play with the stuff - they're toys, right? If the toys happen to break, so be it. The in-laws cannot reasonably be upset from that.

Pick out a few things that really appeal to you (best of the best of the worst) and spread it around the entire house so it won't scream out "Fireman theme" in any one room. If it's all plastic toys then go ahead and give it to the kids to play with, breakable or not. With the rest of the items hold a yard sale to benefit the fire station...get other wives, husbands, s.o. involved. If the in-laws do get offended, you can always say, with the money we raised by selling your items we were able to do ______ or buy _____ for the station.

I like the bathroom/garage idea. And I think it's great that you're trying to respect them, even if you two don't care for the firefighter garb.

You don't want your kids to break things - could be dangerous for them, and your in-laws are being thoughtful, even if they do miss the mark.

Why not, ummm, just politely tell your in-laws you aren't really that into collecting firehouse paraphernalia? Unless there is already bad blood or they are extremely emotionally fragile, I'm sure they'll understand as long as you handle the situation delicately.

The first step there, btw, would be not lying. Don't say "it's not child safe" if what you really mean is "I'm not much of a collector and don't enjoy living in a fire fighter themed home". Just tell the truth in a way that doesn't sound ungrateful or insulting of their taste.

If your in-laws haven't already realised you don't want this stuff I don't think there is anyway you can tell them without hurting their feelings. I think I have a solution - buy a shed and create a 'man cave'/play area furnished exclusively with firefighter stuff and any other collectables they give you (with the proviso that items are child safe). That way you have a clear house, your kids get a play house, there is somewhere to store the fire fighter's stuff - happy kids, happy in-laws. My Gran had a 'summer house' and it was stuffed with the junk she couldn't fit in her house - I LOVED it as a kid. Shed's rock :)

Blame the kids. That's what they're for.

Seriously, though. Could you sit down and have a conversation about how you'd rather they spend the money on making charitable donations to figherfighter-friendly charities. Maybe instead of exchanging gifts this year, you can make a donation to charity (for adults, not for the kids at least).

I see a few choices if you don't want to add storage to your house to incorporate the stuff.

A. Let the children play with them and practically encourage them to break it (as in hey, I wonder what happens if this big toy truck falls off the deck)

B.Tell them you have more than enough stuff for the home and that you wish not to receive any more.

C. If you are moving soon, make sure they get "lost" in the move.

D. Donate the stuff and rave about how much your friend really really wanted some of the pieces and how you let them have it.

I agree with the opoponax: Just be honest with the in-laws. If they find out after years of giving you these gifts that you've been lying to them, that will be a hundred times worse than your being honest from the get-go.

Here's what I would suggest: Perhaps you could suggest that, rather than kitsch and brick-a-brack, a greater gift would be if they instead donated money in the name of your husband to the local firehouse or a firemen's charity. Then, they could still 'give' you something that's related to your husband's being a fireman, but it wouldn't be clutter -- that way, you'd each get something. And it would do more good for more people rather than fill your house with items you hate.

Is there some way you can joyfully give them away? Supply a firefighters retirement fund auction with do-dads?

That would be ideal. You can appreciate the thought and 'pay it forward' in a way you can share positively with the inlaws!

As in "hey mom-in-law! That you guys gave us in 2008 raised $200 for the . Thank you again.

In fact, our house is pretty full and happy, if you would like to give these collectibles directly to the Fireman's Fund, for next year's auction, we would be just as blessed. Thank you so much for thinking so much of us. You're wonderful. Thanks for your son!"

You could have your husband take it all to the firehouse and either:
a. decorate the place with it
b. share it with all the other firefighters. Maybe someone else would LOVE a fire themed home.

Alternatively, declare all the junk a "fire hazard" to your home.

This is a tough one.

I agree with Opoponax about making up the flimsy "choking hazard" excuse-- your inlaws would simply choose fireman tchotchkes without small parts.

I'm with Lisa in Montreal-- donate all but the most recent piece.

Buying fireman crap for you is their hobby, let them enjoy it and don't turn their dumb little habit into a point of contention.

Honesty is the best policy - tell them. Gently, of course. For some people, giving gifts like this is how they show their love, and they mean well. To the rest of us, it may be tacky crap, but the intention is sweet. Tell them you really appreciate the thoughts, but that you are scaling back your possessions, and in the future you would love for them to make a donation in your name to a charity, perhaps one which benefits the families of firefighters who have been injured. You can even send it out as a pre-xmas letter to anyone who tends to give useless gifts.

My partner hates receiving presents, I realized the other day that this is mostly because he's terrible about communications about what he really wants. It may seem rude at first, but I've found that people actually appreciate a heads up on what you will really enjoy and appreciate in the gift-receiving area.

Well, your husband grew up with these folks, so I would ask him: is this behavior the norm for them? As in, would they find ways to send you guys "cute" stuff whether he was a fireman or not? If they're like me and my mom, they just like to shop for people. It means they're thinking of you and they like you--they see this stuff while they're out and it reminds them of you and your husband.

The fact that they buy all this stuff indicates that they are NOT minimalists. You and your husband are. They probably don't understand your taste and might even be intimidated by it. Perhaps they think you haven't decorated and so you need some "stuff" to fill up the empty spaces and make your house more homey--or at least their understanding of it.

Maybe it would be a good idea to let the kids play with the stuff. If they're toys, you assume they're meant to be played with. Why not? If the in-laws get upset that something is broken, you can try to offset that by saying, "The kids were so sad they broke that; they had so much FUN playing with it." It might actually be a good idea to try to redirect the in-laws into giving you actual toys for the kids instead.

But maybe you should try to redirect their giving in another way. Tell them you love that they think of you, and you appreciate their thoughtfulness. But you two are very happy and don't really need these things. Could you encourage them to start a college fund for your kids instead? Or maybe a rainy day fund? If your in-laws feel it's important to spend money on you, ask them to put a couple of dollars in an envelope every time they see something they want to buy you, and then you can all spend the money doing something the kids will enjoy. Then the focus is on spending time together, not on buying stuff.

If you don't get a handle on the stuff coming into your house now, you'll eventually end up with lots of cheap crap for the pre-teens and you KNOW you don't want to see all the crap they merchandise for pre-teens!!!

Kate, I suggest you contact "Dear Abby" with this dilemma. I don't think the problem is how to display the pieces properly. The issue is how to make the influx of crap stop. You need to find a way of telling your in-laws nicely that you have enough items. Good luck!

I think if you relegate the collection to a little used bathroom or the garage then they will feel insulted as it wil be clear you put the stuff as far out of your sight as possible.

I think mezzanote has the best idea - next time your in-laws are over gather all the stuff together and tell them you have so much of this stuff now and whereas you do really like it you just can't display it. And that you'd really like their help in choosing which pieces to display in (pick limited-capacity display cabinet).

And tell them that you're going to put the rest of the stuff on eBay and donate all proceeds to a fire fighters charity, so the spirit of their gift is passed on.

I take back my idea. I like quarterlifestyle's suggestion way better. If your in-laws have any sense or decency, there's no way they can be offended by the suggestion to put the money they're spending on useless stuff toward firefighter-oriented organizations.

Keep a couple of the "least offensive" pieces and have your husband take the rest to the fire house.

Tell your in-laws that "he wanted to share the cool stuff" with his fellow fire fighters and since the fire house needed some personality, it was perfect.

Honestly, given how some fire houses are, I'm sure it would be a happy solution for everyone--you don't have to look at that stuff 24/7 and your in-laws feel like they're heroes at the fire house.

Lots of luck!

Let your in-laws decorate their own home with all this stuff ?!

First, if these are your husband's parents, your HUSBAND should talk to them, not you. My whole life, my mother tried and tried to convince her mother in law that she and my dad didn't really need any more bears. My grandmother was convinced that my dad really liked them, and it was just my mom that didn't like them. So they kept coming.

I like the idea of setting aside a room, like the bathroom that your kids use or a playroom to display these. If your in-laws ask where everything else is, explain that you just don't have room for it, and its in the garage. Every year, donate a few of the older stuff to goodwill or have a garage sale.

As for specific suggestions, IKEA has some bookshelves that come with doors. I don't know how child-proof they are (I've never been worried about that) but it's worth checking out.

I agree that honesty is the best policy. For this reason, I never tell my friends if I am "into" anything because I fear I will only get those kinds of gifts. For example, I had friends who knew I liked Winnie-the-Pooh... well you get the point. In this case, it is your husband's job. If your in-laws are anything like mine (reasonable), they will understand. Your husband should be the one to tell them because after all they are his parents. I think they might like not having to "look" for firefighter type of gifts. I would think after awhile, it would be hard for them to find these items. To not offend them, you might want to store them for your children later and let your in-laws know you are keeping them for their grandkids. Good luck!

I packed all that stuff away, to renovate, and then realized how much more I enjoyed my home without all the kitschy things people thought were great gifts. My motto is: no apologies. If someone gives me something that doesn't fit my life/home, I donate it or sell it on eBay (then I donate the money to feeding the hungry, the humane society, heifer.org), and they're free to do the same with something I give them that just doesn't fit in their house. More and more I've begun to ask relatives and friends what gifts they do genuinely want (wine and cookbooks are the top 2 it seems) and find it's far easier to shop for them knowing they'll get something they really want. In the end it turns out honesty is the best policy and now I'm closer to having the home I truly do love.

You might consider selling everything firefighter-themed that you don't want, on eBay, and donating the money to one of the firefighter memorial funds. Certainly they couldn't object to that, could they?

Obviously you don't want to offend your inlaws, but it's YOUR home. Your inlaws have their own home to decorate as they please. If you and your husband don't like all this extra stuff, someone needs to let them know and it should be your husband.

I think sending all of it to the firehouse is a great idea too, most of the guys there would probably get a kick out of it.

You need to tell them, but it should probably come from your husband. With all the "clutter" that kids come with, you don't need more. But I think they might take it better from him.

Either your spouse knows a way to communicate this to his parents or they're not told. As their daughter inlaw you can't tell them this without future resentment.

If he can't tell his parents, maybe the firehouse has a place for it all. Or donate it to a charity that wants it (maybe a Preschool or kindergarden classroom)?

I really believe you should only fill your home with things you love. If you and your husband don't love the things, then donate them to someone who will and have your husband tell his parents that, although you appreciate the thought, he really has enough firefighter memorabilia and doesn't need anymore. Pretending to like them and displaying them really isn't helping the situation. I agree with asking them to make a donation to a firefighter's fund in lieu of the knick nacks.

The only reason I suggest making up a plausible lie to get rid of these is this: a reasonable person would not be offended if kindly told that these items were not needed or appreciated, however, I think we all have that elderly relative for whom reason is not part of the equation. If Kate is in dire enough straits to poll strangers on the internet about a solution, it may be an unfortunate case where no amount of niceness and honesty will avoid ruffled feathers and hurt family members.

I agree that it should be up to her husband to come clean, but if he's not dealing with it, it may be that this is a quirk of his family that he knows he cannot change and so he's learned to just overlook it. It's like your uncle who eats all the cocktail shrimp or your grandma who buys you cartoon-themed gifts well into your 30s -- if you know you can't change their behavior, you just learn look past it.

Agree with the last post. I assume that the author of this letter has tried lying and outright honesty to get the 'gifts' to stop and it hasn't worked.

So just give up. Get rid of what you don't want. Donate the toys to a child care center or church nursery (assuming they are safe) and the rest to a charity shop or church yard sale.

Chances are the in-laws will never notice what is missing. If they do, be honest and say you tried to tell them that you didn't have the room but the wouldn't listen, so you had to give some of it away.

Donate the existing stuff at the next Fireman's Holiday Toy Drive.

Gently tell the in-laws that while the thought is appreciated, please not to send more Fireman-related stuff - and that the items they've already sent have gone to a very worthy cause.

Follow up by providing them ideas of items that your family could use at gift-giving times: clothes for the kids, tools for the garage & kitchen, etc.

Thanks for all the advice!

The firefighter parking sign is actually in the bathroom, as someone suggested.

I agree, stopping the inflow of this stuff would be the best solution, or else re-directing their purchasing energy in a more appropriate manner. However, knowing my in-laws and the attempts we've made in the past to curb the kitsch, the items will keep showing up. They do it out of love, so we respect that.

I'd like to display the things we've got in a way that would be more focused on the cool display structure rather than the contents inside.

Your husband needs to speak up about this. They are his parents. He needs to make it clear that although the stuff is nice it is not to the taste or style of your home. Pick one thing that you both like and will fit in that will always remind you of how much his parents think of you/him. I like the idea of donating the toys, auctioning off the M&Ms things for the firefighters fund and letting his firefighter buddies select from what is left over. You have to tell them to stop. I had to do this with my parents.

We had problems like that with some family members. Every time we saw them, I made sure to work into the conversation that we're constantly battling clutter at home, and have way too much to display. And then I comment that we intend to donate yet ANOTHER batch of stuff just so we can put the diapers away...

Repetition is key. Eventually, they'll remember that you can't handle any more 'display items'.

Usually the endless collectibles are caused by well-intentioned people who find cash gifts impersonal, but don't know what else to buy. You and your husband should give your in-laws a "wish list" of specific items that you can really use, or will really love. Once they know what to buy for the holidays, everyone will be happy.

I had to do this with my mom who kept buying me handbags every year for christmas. Now that she has a list to work, everybody is happier!

Don't you have a garbage can?

I decided a while ago that I was allowed to get rid of gifts I didn't like or use (I usually give them to a charity). I don't explain it to anyone. If anyone asks "where is my gift?". I will tell them that I had to cull and apologise there and then. Most people don't ask and most people don't notice. If they do notice and are offended I guess they'll reconsider their gift giving in the future. Equally I don't get offended when one of my gifts to someone "disappears".

A good friend once gave me a particularly ugly ring once. I never wore it and she never asked why. I guess she worked out why.

Maybe I am harsh but at least my home is reasonably clutter free...

Be honest with them. But have your husband do it. He's their son after all. It makes much more sense for him to address the issue than it does for you to have to bring it up.

Keep the stuff you do like. And let them know you just don't have room for anything else.

my sister keeps all the stuff our mom gives her in a box in the garage (I've flat out told my mother that I don't have room for anything else in my tiny house). when our mom comes over, my sister pulls everything out of the box and puts it in the house. it goes back in the box after our mother leaves. maybe put all the fireman-related stuff in one spot when your in laws come over so they can see that it's really taking over. maybe they'll stop then. good luck.

If you dont like it, don't display it. It's YOUR home, not theirs and that should be the one place where you can live with the things you like. If you're husband feels the same way about it he should tell his parents. I know this is difficult but I think it's better then living with a house full of things you don't like.

Get your husband to change careers.

If you two decide to talk to his parents, this is an issue that your husband should bring up with them (as it would be your responsibility if it were your parents who were filling your house with knickknacks).

With Christmas coming up, if your husband's station collects toys and gifts, perhaps you could donate some. If you start weeding out some of the older toys, he could tell his parents that you don't have enough room for everything, so you're cycling out older figures to "make room" for the new ones. They might get the hint and stop getting you so much stuff.

Good luck! I know it's hard. After I had a heart-to-heart with her, my mom has got better about her gift giving, but every few years or so, she still can't resist getting us some odd knickknack or another.

have your husband take the stuff to the station and display it there.

Since you prefer to display these items I would suggest you at least edit. Keep the pieces that aren't horrible, and donate the things you cannot stand to look at. Chances are you're in-laws will not notice some items are missing. If they do, simply be honest and tell them you felt the collection had gotten out of hand so you kept only the things you and your husband really enjoy.

(I meant your in-laws, not you're) :)

I have the same problem. My Mother in Law just likes to give, and will never see that we don't need nor want more stuff. It is not worth upsetting the family balance to try to ask her to stop. Our solution: after visits and holidays, we stop at Goodwill on the way home. The random bath stuff and candles goes to a women's shelter. We have kept one or two of the best pieces. My sister in law, her daughter does exactly the same! Take the cream of the junk - find it a home in your home and filter away the rest.

My parents are very similar- they love to shop and always pick up things they think their kids might want. I've been honest with them before but they do still find things at thrift stores and garage sales and give them to me. This behavior will probably never change. Suggesting they 'donate the money to charity instead', while a nice thought, is not an effective solution, because it ignores the fact that the gift-givers are not merely doing something for you- they're also doing something for themselves. Shopping around and presenting their children with gifts, even unwanted ones, fulfills certain needs in their lives and probably brings them a lot of pleasure. Surely you all know people who thrill in 'the hunt' of shopping for certain things; and of course, most parents delight in doing things for their children, even grown-up children.

It's actually the responsibility of your husband to tell his own family that you guys don't need the firefighter stuff. Coming from him, this information will be much less offensive then coming from you (no matter how close you are to his family). However, I doubt they will totally stop giving you the stuff. So, just as they are going to do what they want to do regardless of what you tell them, you should do what you want with the gifts. Display them, or not; give them away or give them to your kids. Selling them in a charity sale for the firehouse is a great idea, too.

um, your husband should be the one telling his parents "enough is enough", not you. and he shouldn't say "kate doesn't like these". he should say, "i don't need this stuff."

if any of it is honestly "collectable", either keep it, in boxes in storage, or sell it. i liked the idea somebody brought up of taking it to the firehouse to share with the other fire fighters, or giving away to fireman crazy kids.

good luck! inlaws gifting habits are hard to break.

By reading all these comments, I can see this strikes a sensitive cord because it happens to so many of us, especially during the holidays. We are force-feed that we need to give gifts during these times to show we care, and instead of asking what people really want, or need, we are expect to KNOW them well enough to get just the right thing. This usually manifests into these type of gifts, centered on one aspect of your life, be it professional or some hobby, and then persistently beat to death year after year.

It's a hard train to derail, but I think you need to. Don't let their hurt feelings over this hold your house hostage. You both should talk to them. Be gentle, but be firm, and consistent. Don't just keep things that you don't LOVE in your house to please them. Thank them for their past gifts, but let them know that you donated them to a worthy charity and that all future ones will be donated as well. I know it sounds harsh, but you need to draw a line in the sand.

I had a similar situation with my parents, and finally had to put my foot down. I don't have room, and frankly, it was too much to send to the landfill, or Goodwill. Useless crap needs to be discouraged, if not for your design aesthetic, then for environmental sustainability. If people really want to give me gifts, I encourage them to donate to a charity or give a gift of food or wine. Mostly I encourage them to not buy me anything and that a phone call, or a letter, can express so much more than useless tchotchkes.

I think the heart of the problem is not bad intentions or even bad taste on the part of the in-laws... it's that they're generous but misguided. Seems like they really want to buy you things, so they've latched onto one very obvious aspect of your life as the theme.

I had a very similar problem with cat stuff- older relatives who just didn't know me very well would always fall back on "she likes cats" and buy whatever cat-themed object presented itself. It was pretty obnoxious until I started being more vocal about my taste and things that I actually wanted. I invited people shopping with me. I told them more about my life. I even started posting wish lists. Worked like a CHARM.

So, I'm with many others. You don't need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart, and you don't need to hurt anyone's feelings. The solution for impending kitsch could be as simple as being more communicative.

BUT- since the real question was what to do with the accumulated kitsch (not the impending), I'd suggest a kid's room display. Install shelving about 12" from the ceiling that wraps around the room. Paint the wall a dark color above the shelf to make the display look interesting, and arrange away. Up there it will be out of a kid's reach, and, best of all... it won't be at eye-level.

My dad and Boyfriend are both firefighters....i understand this! Is there a charity that you could donate a lot of it to that is a firefighter related charity. You could tell you parents how much they needed it to raise money for firefighters....Can they get mad for that? Then you can keep the stuff you like and all the random crap can go.

We have a similar issue with my mother-in-law. She insists on buying us mugs that she thinks are funny all the time. Some of them are ok, I admit, but she does seem to think we need multiples of the same mugs (that she has already bought herself and shown to us). Last time she bought us three of the same design!

We have a household of two with a tiny kitchen, I rarely drink hot drinks and my SO uses thermos mugs, we don't have that many visitors and wo own so many mugs already that most of them are in storage! It drives me potty.

I agree you should donate all the stuff you don't want. (I donate lots of the gifts my family gives me.) But always say thank you. They buy the items because when they see them the things remind them of the person they love.

Hi Kate,

I really, really sympathize. Instead of getting something off of our registry, my in-laws bought my husband and I these extremely ugly orange wooden goblets from Bhutan. Since you have made it clear that you do want to display at least some of the stuff, I would suggest this glass door bookshelf from Ikea:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10136687

While the glass doors "display" contents, when you have it full of stuff it is hard to see individual things and since the bookcase is the same red as your firefighter stuff I think this will read more as a big red bookcase than it will as a bunch of small red things. Hopefully red is a color that will work in your house. Another idea would be to look for a cabinet with frosted glass doors -- this will really mask the contents but it will still look like you are trying to display them. Good luck!

Thanks, Lucy! The red would definitely work. I'll have to drive over to Palo Alto to check them out. I've been looking at IKEA for some other ideas - I've been thinking about doing some sort of architecturally interesting wall installation with these floating block-like Besta cabinets, high enough that the kids won't get them:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S39867726