apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

If one can't deal with shoes on their precious floors, perhaps one should forgo guests altogether.

Beware of of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes, and beware of all house 'rules' that require cute little enameled signs to inform guests.

That first sign is just unwelcoming. I might be willing to take off my shoes at someone's house, but that sign makes me think I'd rather not stay long enough for that, or ever come back.

that's great!! if only i had this last weekend. i had a housewarming party and as i greeted everyone at the front door i said, 'welcome. all i ask is that you take off your shoes and enjoy yourself'

I as a guest would always see, if the hosts have their shoes on and take it from there. I don't see why people on AT have such trouble with it?

Isn't it funny how it's such a divisive issue?

Sometimes it's not about the "precious" floors, though it does help them stay clean.

I like the second sign. I don't have a problem taking my shoes off at someone's house. I prefer if people take theirs off at mine because I never wear shoes. I have a couple friends that wear the sharpest heels and put dents in my very soft maple floors. If not for the floors, I wish they would remove them for my sanity -- all you hear is clippoty-cloppity echoing throughout the house.

I agree with shirley-temple-of-doom. My daughter was invited to a Christmas party -- no red wine because last year the white carpet had to be cleaned (costing 2000$). Crazy! Get practical flooring.

A no-shoes policy is uptight in the extreme-- it's the same mentality that puts plastic slip covers on furniture, it announces that the furnishings are more important than the people using them.

It's sometimes a nuisance to remove your footwear unexpectedly (20-eyelet boots, anyone?).

It's irritating or awkward when you go to someone's house (who you may not know very well) and you're asked to remove your shoes at the threshold.

I feel like the hosts are getting a rather bad rap. First of all, they are welcoming you into their home. Perhaps they just want to show off the place, but I will just have to assume that they are gracious hosts and want to visits with friends/family.

I always take my shoes off when visiting someone else's home. It's one of the simplest things I can do to show respect.

Maybe this is just an old-fashion idea, but I feel that if I'm being invited into a home (which will probably be transformed into a disaster area by the end of the evening), the least I can do is remove my shoes. :)

Putting slip covers on sofa's is something else, but taking shoes off is not extreme. For me it's all about keeping the house a little cleaner...not bringing those germs under those shoes in my house especially my carpets/rugs...i can't help it im a germophobe :) but i dont think i can put a sign that says "to take the shoes off". It is very unwelcoming.

Some people just dont want to take their shoes off, but if they see that you house is spotless clean they might want to think twice and ask themselves.

When you see other shoes by the door doesn't that give you a clue that you need to take your shoes off?

i would bet that for many people who prefer to be shoeless indoors it's not about a precious floor or carpet but rather about an overall cleanliness issue. i know for me, i prefer to walk around in barefoot so it makes sense not to bring the nastiness of the nyc streets inside. if anything, i feel it's more intimate and cozy to be without shoes BUT, i never enforce it. after all it's not a policy, just an inclination. it's definitely not worth making guest feel anxious or uncomfortable. i find it's usually pretty easy to naturally sense people's comfort level with it though. if i'm asked "do i have to take off my shoes?" the answer is always "no, please do as you wish".

We just moved into our new house with (for the first time) brand new hardwood (oak) floors. Before we moved in we talked about having a no shoes policy, but so far it hasn't happened, and I don't think it's likely. We both kick our shoes off when we will be inside for a while, but when it's time for trash removal or other in then out then in sorts of actions, it would be nuts to remove shoes every stage. And if guests (even overnighters) are more comfortable with their shoes on, it's would be awkward to challenge them. (People DO count more than floors, after all. Mostly!!) Having rugs and door mats at entries (inside and out) helps.

As a guest, though, I think it's important to think about what you are wearing and whether it will harm someone's floors. Spike heels are a menace to wood flooring, so it would be polite to remove them or not wear them to homes that might be effected. And obviously, if your shoes are muddy or stained with oil or asphalt (things I have seen at work, not home, thank goodness) you should remove them or clean them and not track ick in.

I have noticed that real estate agents in our area are now often removing their own shoes and asking people they are showing homes to do the same.

These signs are both tacky. If you can't deal with a little sweeping and vacuuming after a party, you shouldn't be having a party.

That said, when it is excessively muddy or slushy out, I always *hope* my guests (especially houseguests, who will be going upstairs and such) will offer to remove their shoes, but I would never ever ask them to. I have very cold floors and don't wish to subject anyone's stocking feet to that. Also, when I am a guest, there is nothing I hate more than removing shoes which are part of a carefully composed outfit.

I think putting a few old towels by the door to help people get their shoes nice and dry before getting off the entryway mat is a much less rude alternative to signs like this.

I always take off my shoes when visiting friends. Especially as I live in NYC, and who knows what you'd be tracking in. It's not about someone's "precious floors", but just common courtesy, especially in inclimate weather.

This is the norm in many cultures, I find it interesting that people are so vehement about it being rude.

Okay, both signs annoy me. My MIL likes us to not wear shoes in her house, which doesn't bother me because we're family and there's never more than 4-5 people over there at one time and its really casual family things. But when our friends have a party for 80 people and ask everyone to take off their shoes, it really annoys me. I hate digging through 80 pairs of shoes to find mine when its time to leave (and of course its a S&TC episode waiting to happen).

Along the same lines, I don't like when people come into my house and just automatically take off their shoes. Maybe I don't want to smell other people's stinky feet!

imagine having a baby crawling around on their hands and knees after a guest has walked in with their shoes on, right off the streets of NYC or Oakland (where I live). yuk. the chemicals that are used in this country can have residual effects on your health, especially a baby.

i politely ask people to remove their shoes. if they are uncomfortable, that's one thing. i also let people know BEFORE they come over that we don't wear shoes in the house for health reasons.

Spending time in Hawaii, I see the "Mahalo for removing your shoes" signs at the entrance to every house. It's just the custom there. I even purchased one for my home though I don't enforce it. It's more of a suggestion. :)

Here we go again. It always amazes how uptight some people are about being polite when it involves any tiny bit of personal sacrifice. When you visit another country, do you insist they do everything YOUR way? That would be stupid. If you visit someone's house, if they request you remove your shoes, go with it. You are a guest. If it turns you off that much, leave. I’m sure your host won't miss someone who makes a stink about taking off their shoes.

It’s funny how these signs are somehow rude, but if you posted a no smoking sign, or a no soliciting sing, it’s not.

there is a duck pond right across the way with lots of duck poo on the sidewalks and people walk their dogs around here too (sometimes leaving surprises ON the sidewalk). i would not want all that animal poo to be carried into my home by my guests shoes. its just gross for all involved.

why is removing your shoes so offensive to some? in korea (my heritage), removing your shoes before or upon entering a home is considered good manners! is it really that off-putting to be respectful to your host?

whitenoise - I think your reference to the Korean custom kind of answers your question -- it's a cultural thing. Only, in the U.S. the "culture" is different in different families and in different communities. I think for a lot of people, when the host asksyou to take off your shoes, it feels like the host is saying "you're dirty," so some people find it offensive. For others it might be that taking your shoes off signals more comfort/friendship/intimacy than they might actually have with the person they are visiting.

My feelings are really more on a case-by-case basis. If I were visiting you and you told me about the duck pond, that would totally make sense to me. And I don't mind taking off my shoes if there's only a few people in the house (as long as socks are provided for me if my feet get cold).

What gets me is the big parties where 80 pairs of shoes are tossed on top of one of my expensive pair of heels, I have to dig to find them when I go to leave and I face the chance of them going missing or getting damaged. I feel like, if you decide to have that big of a party you just have to expect its going to be a little messy the next day.

We never wear shoes in our house, and neither do our regular guests.

A party setting is a little different, though, and I only specifically request someone remove their shoes if they're spiky high heels because it would destroy my cork/rubber flooring and leave dents in the wood floors.

Two points, in response to assorted posts:

1) Could we please retire the "but, it's the norm in other cultures" argument? Lots of things are "normal" in other cultures-- government censorship, keeping a mistress, female infanticide, and public stonings; to name a few. (That others are doing it is NEVER a sound argument in favor of something, as our mothers always told us.)

2) Some of you actually enforce this policy simply to avoid 'germs'?!? Wow. You REALLY need to stop taking yourself so seriously, and listening to the manufacturers of antibacterial soap.

Why assume people care more about objects because they ask this? that's unfair and judgmental. there are many reasons to ask this and no one should assume to know what they are.

also why get so offended by such a small thing? why does something so small make people feel so uncomfortable?
this is one of the petty things that makes me not want to be around people.

also it's easy for people who are renting, or who have carpet to not have worries, but stiletto heels punch holes into softer hardwood floors like oak. I mean big huge very noticable dots all over the floor that will never go away.
when you spend 10,000 refinishing floors, then you can talk, but otherwise, why not respect how someone else chooses to live...it is their personal space.

I lived in sweden for two years and it is the custom to remove your shoes at the door. Home floors are so much cleaner there. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting guests to track the outside in. Just think of what you walk through during the day! I don't like the signs though. If someone has invited you into their home perhaps one should ask if the host would prefer you to remove your shoes. Just because your a guest doesn't mean you shouldn't respect someone else's home.