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Real Estate Ads: Fact vs. Fiction

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When it comes to real estate ads, it's sometimes difficult to sort out what's reality and what's an exercise in creative writing. Luckily, Boomer tipped us off to this article on decoding housing listings. Real estate superstar Barbara Corcoran breaks down some of the most overused words and phrases.

For example: "Must see inside" really means that the outside of a home is ugly. She translates "original condition" to "appliances are 50 years old." After the jump, you can read the entire list — and please feel free to comment with any additions of your own!

  1. Cozy (too small)
  2. Charming (too old)
  3. Original condition (appliances are 50 years old)
  4. Needs TLC (it's a dump)
  5. Conveniently located (noisy)
  6. Desirable neighborhood (this little house has been way overpriced because the neighborhood has some snob appeal)
  7. Efficient kitchen (too small to fit two adults)
  8. One-car garage (you can drive your Chevy in, but can't get out)
  9. Peek at the park/river/mountains (if you angle your mirror just so)
  10. Useable land (no trees)
  11. Beachfront steal (no hurricane insurance available at any price)
  12. Country living (too far from anywhere to drive to work)
  13. Must see inside (outside is ugly)
  14. Unique (hard to sell)
  15. Just available (previous owner just died on the premises, hope you don't mind)

Image: Getty Images

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Comments (12)

Interesting and while many of these translations may well be true, but not always and cozy to one person is mean something all together different for another (such as too small for one person may mean it's fine for another).

And what if you are looking for a house in original condition? Some of us want that, especially in a classic mid century home so that's not necessarily a negative, but there again, it's all in the eye of the beholder. Sadly, most people want their house to be updated, remodeled, all traces of the past for many removed etc, etc so they don't have to do all that work themselves, which kind of saddens me to a degree as it means they have little to no imagination.

posted by ciddyguy on 2007-08-15 17:19:02
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I read something similar a year a on Freakonomics
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/

posted by Sol on 2007-08-15 17:33:15
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condo alternative=really tiny house (660 sq ft for a 2 bedroom) with a postage stamp sized (or no) yard

posted by fakemeatpalace on 2007-08-15 19:26:56
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> Sadly, most people want their house to be updated, remodeled, all
> traces of the past for many removed etc, etc so they don't have to
> do all that work themselves, which kind of saddens me to a degree
> as it means they have little to no imagination.

That's a bit harsh. Some people exhaust the bulk of their funds just buying a place and don't have the resources/time to put into fixing
up a place before they can /just/ start living in it. This is especially true with families. The decor comes later...

It really baffles me when someone can afford a 1.2 million dollar fixer-upper. For 1.2 mil, I better be able to just move in!

posted by Vinh on 2007-08-15 19:28:23
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I'm sure the list is meant to be somewhat humorous and on that note it succeeds. I don't think these are absolute rules as I've seen many places that were quite nice that used a lot of these words and phrases.

posted by madchaka on 2007-08-15 19:46:44
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Sadly, most people want their house to be updated, remodeled, all traces of the past for many removed etc, etc so they don't have to do all that work themselves, which kind of saddens me to a degree as it means they have little to no imagination.

Is it that, or is it that sellers aren't willing to settle for the price they'll get without a hasty cosmetic rehab?

As a potential buyer again eventually, I'd love to not pay for someone else's taste in "updated" carpeting and kitchen fixtures (especially with the popular Tuscan Flip here in PHX). But I have a back-of-the-envelope budget for what it costs to do those rehab projects, and I expect the selling price of a non-structural fixer to be discounted from comps so that it covers my rehab costs. Sellers have been out of the habit of accepting that kind of offer.

posted by wende in phoenix on 2007-08-15 19:58:24
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In my complex, units that are in great condition and only need updatting sit on the market for 6-8 months.

Ones that are updated (and have $50k more in asking price) generally sell in weeks.

So there's something to what ciddyguy said, at least from casual observation.

In my case I bought a unit in need of updating so I could get a lower price and be creative and get exactly what I wanted out of the rehab.

posted by boomer on 2007-08-15 21:12:36
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I'm into bungalows so charming/cozy/original condition might catch my eye especially if it translates into hardwood floors, moldings, solid wood doors, and built in shelves. A lot of bungalows in my area have kitchens and bathrooms that haven't been redone since the 60s. The seller can't expect to get top dollar for a home that needs cosmetic work.

Those of us that read decorating blogs are probably more willing to deal with with a fixer upper. We have the vision. The average family is just going to want something as is and is willing to pay more to avoid the hassle.

posted by LaDonnaNichole on 2007-08-15 22:44:24
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My pet peeve is when the people do the walk throughs on HGTV's House Hunters show and say, "oh, I don' t know the bathroom is painted pink".

Hello~! paint it, knock out the tile, re-do it, I think that is so minor and lazy.

posted by sanriofreak on 2007-08-15 23:37:02
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My condo had an *orange* faux painted accent wall. Teal faux painting in the bathroom. Horrible tacky stuff. People actually said "wow, that would have scared me off". I said "it's only paint".

I guess that's why staging is such a big trend now - because buyers are too stupid to figure out what to do with a place on their own. Show them a blank canvas and they go "duuuhhh".

posted by boomer on 2007-08-16 08:14:44
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One of my favourites is "sun-drenched back yard" which generally means a bleak square of dead grass and not a speck of shade anywhere.

posted by Juliet on 2007-08-16 15:33:40
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I agree with boomer and wende that I'd rather buy a home for less money and do the renovating myself, but isn't there an issue with funding that for some people? It seems like it is easier to buy a house at the top of your price range and get your maximum amount home loan than to buy a house for $30-50k less and figure out how to get a loan for those fix-ups. Dunno.

posted by brittanykate on 2007-08-16 16:48:50
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