You definitely have to mention it to cover yourself. Hopefully they won't care that you're not married. 20 years ago my now husband, then boyfriend, and I had problems getting a place because we weren't married. I'm sure that's changed a lot now but some people are probably still against it. And you would want him on the lease so that when you move you can do the new application with both of you and there's nothing against you on the reference from this landlord. Good luck and have fun doing up your new place! :)

Think about it, a rental agreement is a legal document between you and your landlord, with only your name on it. Any change to the condition of that is important. Yes the landlord should know.

Hopefully you are on good terms with your landlord. It should be no big deal to that person. But if you don't say anything, and the landlord finds out, which they will, it could lead to a mistrustful relationship, as in "if she didn't tell me about him, what else isn't she telling me?"

I would wait until his lease is coming to an end. 6 months is a long time and since your lease will be 1/2 way through at this time, your landlord my be more inclined to let him on the lease then if you are still brand new tenant.

I strongly urge you to be honest. My BF and I moved in together over a year ago. As far as the landlady knew, I was living alone. For a year we would hid his things when the landlady came by to fix things or to show the apartment to potential investors. This made us extremely paranoid and everything a giant pain, all because we were afraid she would raise the utilities (we were a little cash poor at the time). When she finally found out he was living there, she made a big stink and almost didn't renew my lease.

So definitely be honest. You will save yourself a lot of trouble. It's also a liability for the landlord to have an unregistered tenant in the building. And in some states it's considered breach of contract on your part and is grounds for eviction.

ps. she never raised the utilities.

Maybe say my fiancé instead of my boyfriend? Might make it seem like a more stable relationsship and some people who think you shouldn't move in with a boyfriend are more generous if you are engaged. Maybe you could say something like, that he is so handy around the house, repairing things and how practical that is so that you wouldn't have to call for every little thing? I think the strategy really depends on the landlord and why do you think he might object to your boyfriend moving in.

I would make a statement like "Hi Mr. Landlord, my boyfriend and I are planning on him moving into the apartment in 6 months. Is there anything you need from him/us?" That way he knows its coming, and he can request whatever he may need from your man.

Just out of curiosity, is there a reason why you think you'll be punished for sneaking him in, but also for asking if he can move in? I've found my previously landlords to be agreeable with most things, as long as the rent is paid on time.

The reason I would say to be up front about your situation, is because I have been on the other side of the situation. I live in a duplex with my boyfriend, and our downstairs neighbor "quietly" moved his girlfriend into his apartment and didn't say boo for about 4 months. He wasn't willing to say anything to us about her moving in, but he was, however, willing to let my boyfriend and I foot 2/3 of the house water bill during the 4th month that she had been living there. I ended up calling the landlord before our bill was due to let him know that my neighbor was not up front about his girlfriend moving in, and that it was not fair to us to pay for part of the water that they had been using. The landlord took care of it from there. In fact, he basically was like "So&So, you've had a long term guest for the duration of the bill, so I will go ahead and split the bill 50/50" and my neighbor didn't disagree (but wouldn't have said anything if I hadn't brought it up!). WTF!!

So if you are in a situation like this where your neighbors may be affected, you definitely want to be the bigger person and talk to your landlord.

Unless your lease mentions only having one tenant (as in "I will not rent to two people"), I dont see why your landlord would mind. Lots of couples live in one bedroom apartments and if anything the landlord can see it as doubling the chances of collecting rent because there are two incomes.

So I would take your landlord aside, closer to the date and explain the situation. Have your BF give references and all that jazz too. That way the landlord can see you are both responsible.

My landlords have always been pretty easy going about things like this but now I see that maybe I've just been lucky. I would recommend that you move in now and discuss adding him to the lease once you're established there and are known as a good worry-free tenant. I'd say 2-3 months before he moves in. You're not going to want him on your lease yet, I'm assuming - especially if you have a change in plans. Plus maybe they will be fine with just keeping you on the lease. That's what happened to me anyway in NYC over a year ago. Simple as pie! And it shouldn't be any of their business if he's your boyfriend, partner, husband, brother, etc.

Is this a house where you might encounter other tenants and there are shared living spaces? I've only ever lived in large apartment complexes, so I'm unfamiliar with any kind of apartment where you might have any kind of problem with other tenants knowing you have a live-in boyfriend.

Whatever the case, you should be honest. In some states (if you are in the US), it might even be illegal to not disclose the number of people living in an apartment. And from a logistical standpoint, if you two are equal in your relationship, how can you be inequal in your living situation? Say maintenance needs to come fix something. If you're hiding your boyfriend, you're the one who has to wait for them at home every single time. And he could never have packages delivered to the apartment; they'd have to be under your name. And what's going to happen when people see you together?

I agree with just taking the straightforward approach: "My bf would like to move in with me on x date - do you need any specific info from/about him?" You might also want to check your city/state's fair housing laws. I'm in NYC and here it's illegal for landlords to prevent a partner from moving in. (Not that you'd want to go straight to threatening legal action, but it can be useful to know the law's on your side.)

As a landlord I strongly suggest you tell your landlord! The lease is a contract between YOU and the landlord and adding another person to the contract might need an addendum. I have a clause in all my leases stating that no one other than the tenants have permission to live in the apartment...check yours.

I understand there are still some people who might be unused to or opposed to people living together outside of marriage, but the original question doesn't say that, so I'm wondering whether the reason is actually that she is afraid the landlord will charge her more rent.

If it's something that matters, cover your a** and speak with the landlord.

But, wow. This entire dilemma is kind of mind-boggling... I live in Quebec, and everything is rent-controlled, so your landlord CAN'T raise the rent/utilities more than a certain % per year (no matter how many people live there), and as long as your name is on the lease, they can't really do that much about who you choose to have there with you (barring too many people, which they can complain to the Regie about...) Landlords can refuse to have their name on the lease (aka: I don't trust them to pay rent), but if the lease is in your name and you want them to live there, it's your house for the duration of the lease.

The idea that landlords elsewhere can dictate who you can have in your own house is kind of mind-boggling, honestly.

Why is this a big deal? Just tell him.

@Ros - There are laws against raising rent and utilities more than a certain amount in the US, too. A lot of laws, actually. There's context we are missing from the person's question so we don't know why she is hesitant to ask her landlord about her boyfriend living with her. We don't know if she's afraid of rent going up, or if she's afraid the landlord is against the concept, etc.

But in a more general sense, there are a variety of reasons why you would need to know how many people were living in an apartment. On the less-than-legit side, sometimes several families (usually undocumented immigrants) will live in one small apartment and it can violate occupancy rules and safety.

That "landlords ...dictate who you can have in your own house" is not really a fair assessment of the situation. It's not your house if you are renting. And many landlords want everyone living in the apartment on the lease because they would like to screen all occupants. And if they own other units, they want to make sure that potential tenants are not spooked by people who haven't been screened.

The only reason your landlord should object is if your boyfriend has bad credit and would be objectionable as a tenant. Just tell your landlord more than 30 days before your boyfriend is planning to move in, let your landlord do the whole application / credit check thing, and it will be fine. If you don't tell your landlord, it could be a much bigger problem than if you do.

I assume you live in a standalone apartment (no communal kitchen etc). It easily could have been rented to a couple right? I'm sure your landlord will be fine with it if you add someone as a permanent resident. Or add your boyf as a tenant and your landlord will know that there is two people on the hook for the rent. Just be a good tenant (pay rent on time/make sure post-dated checks don't bounce/take care of the place) and you won't have problems. Unless you live in an ultra conservative area, I doubt you are the first unmarried couple your landlord has dealt with.

Speaking as a former landlord, let him know for many reasons. He has a right to know who is in his buildings and won't want to look dumb in front of the other tenants who say, "Gee, who's Mr. SoandSo I keep seeing around here?"

Now, do you want your boyfriend sharing the lease with you or not? Where I was, you could allow someone to live on the premises under the 'other occupants' section of the lease, or you could make someone equally responsible for the lease.

Under the former, the boyfriend would be allowed to live on the premises but would not be legally responsible for paying rent, no matter any agreement between the two of you, and he could leave at any time.

Under the latter, if your boyfriend splits, you're 100% responsible for the lease (or vice versa if you leave him).

Ditto you should clear it with your landlord. In all the towns I have lived in (medium sized, not big cities) there have been local ordinances about the number of unrelated persons that can live in residential buildings, as an effort to avoid tenement-style overcrowding. So not only is it courteous and probably in keeping with your lease to inform your landlord, if you allow another unrelated person to live in your apartment you may actually be inadvertently causing your landlord to violate a local regulation, and you'll be putting his rental permit at risk.

I would definitely mention it to your landlord before you sign a 12 month lease. Otherwise in 6 months you will be in an almost identical situation - one of you with 6 months left on your lease, the other in need of a place to live immediately.

Unless your boyfriend does live with you secretly, in which case it will be unwieldy and stressful and you will both want to move out when your 12 month lease expires, but your boyfriend will have no evidence of being a good tenant for the last 6 months which may actually make finding a new apartment difficult.

Talk to the landlord now.

Tell the landlord. Most landlords who only want a single occupant indicate that in the lease (and it doesn't sound like that it the case here). By being up-front about it, you're only increasing your credibility as a good tenant.

You could mention in passing that you are in a long term, and at the moment, long distance relationship and that there is a good possibility that your boyfriend will be relocating and moving in, and ask if that would be a problem. Most likely, unless you are living in an accessory apartment in someone's home, it won't be a problem. You should definitely tell the landlord though. The other issue is that a lot can happen in 6 months, and there is always that possibility that something will happen ( he gets a job offer/promotion/transfer to another city, etc.) and he won't be moving in, so while you should mention it now, don't make it sound like a done deal until it actually is a done deal.

I would read the lease carefully, does it state no inhabitants that are not on the lease? If so, you would have to add any roomate, male or female, platonic or otherwise. I dont think your landlord can discrimnated based on your relationship with your roomate, nor do you need to get into a conversation about it beyond are roomates allowed or not, and do they need to be added to the lease.

In New York City, it's illegal to deny a renter housing based on his/her family status. It's an anti-discrimination law and I would imagine it protects two people who want to live together regardless of their marital status. You might want to check the laws in your city, as it would be helpful to know what your rights are if and when you do ask your landlord. On that note, my boyfriend and I did not talk to the landlord before he moved in, but we live in a large, anonymous building where the landlord is a company, not an individual. My last apartment was a tiny, 4-unit walk-up; the landladies were elderly sisters that knew me personally. In that building, I probably would have talked to them about it first.

As much as I admire the "honesty is the best policy" rule, when my boyfriend moved in to my 1 bedroom apartment two years ago, we didn't notify the landlord, but we also didn't hide it. Mostly, I didn't want to negotiate a new lease and be locked in for another year. I did, however, update my insurance to indicate that there were two people living at that address. But I was the only name on the lease.

As it turns out, this was a blessing since I found out he was seeing someone else on the side, and I was able to toss him out of the house with no hassle. My apartment = my rules. Of course, if your boyfriend wants to be protected from this kind of thing, his name on the lease means he has rights.

My lease states that any long-term guest (meaning that they sleep there more than 14 nights a month) must be on the lease. I asked about this when I signed, and was told that my apartment is zoned for 3 people, but they would all need to be listed and have a credit check before moving in.

PS -- Congratulations on taking this step in your relationship! My boyfriend is the best roommate I've ever had (and I've had some great roommates). I look forward to seeing him at the end of every day, and love every minute we spend at home together. If I can offer some advice, though -- when it's time for him to move in, try to hire movers or at least get plenty of strong friends to help. It was basically just me and my boyfriend on moving day, and while we got through it, it was an unhappy and stressful way to start our home together. That's just my two cents! And good luck with the landlord.

I'd love the Questioner to come back and explain why she is worried about asking the landlord. Adults have relationships and eventually move in together, if he is a reasonably guy with positive references I don't see where the issue would lie. Even if you don't want him on the lease it would be the right thing to give his details/references to the landlord and have their approval before he moves in.

Everyone else has hit the nail on the head..tell your landlord.
I live the the San Francisco Bay Area. I know that in buildings built BEFORE 1979 in SF, there is rent control but that applies to the tenant on the lease. I also know that if you do move someone in, they do have the right to increase the rent because now they are 2 people that will 'wear and tear' the place regardless of how neat, clean and orderly you are. The other option is that they will ask for a larger deposit. My concern is that the relationship may change within the 6 months or year for whatever reason.
Don't fret about it until you both are seriously ready to take that step; THEN and only then, tell your landlord.
On the down side, if you both are on the lease and things don't work out, your BF can try and toss you out if somethings goes awry. It's hard to think of things like that when you're in love, but make sure to cover your butt.

of course you should. you can't have someone, anyone, move in without the landlord knowing.

Getting the boyfriend added onto the lease is also a great way to protect both of you should your neighbors mistreat either of you re: your relationship status situation. It is also a good thing to do in case your landlord tries to use it against you if you want to move when the lease ends.

was going to say the same thing about New York, it's your right to move in roommate if you want to here. not sure about other cities, we do have some funny rules here too like rent control.

Be honest. If the landlord raises a big stink about your boyfriend moving in, then it's not a "great apartment"! In my experience, Mr. T and I never had any issues getting a place together when we weren't married. Most landlords want to know that the single person that they're renting to is not going to be staying out late and partying. They want stable, quiet, and respectful tenants that are going to pay the rent on time. By being honest about living with your boyfriend, it shows that you are responsible, honest, and respectful of the building. . . all great qualities in a tenant!

When my boyfriend moved in with me I sent a note to the landlord. I received a response telling me that I was allowed to have a "roommate" but since I was the only one on the lease I was still responsible for the full rent. Unless your lease says you may not have a roommate there should be no trouble but you should definitely tell your landlord.

Going to add, as a land lady, I would personally appreciate knowing when a new person has moved in to keep everything on the 'up and up', get the lease paperwork in order with everyone's names on it. (And legally, I'm not sure if it's any different than adding a roommate, is it?) Because further down the road, you might also need a reference from that land lord (or lady) showing you've been thoughtful in these sorts of decisions. You really don't want to burn those bridges!

Since you would like to live in this apartment for a long time, you should definitely be honest with your landlord and make sure that everything's kosher with your boyfriend being added to the lease.

It's just common courtesy to let people know. At my last apartment, we had an extremely absent landlord (don't even get me started), but I had three roommates and we all tried to keep each other updated on when significant others would be around so that no one would be startled to find someone's girlfriend or boyfriend in the kitchen or bathroom. I had let my roommates know when my boyfriend was going to be living in the apartment for a week and a half at the end of the lease.

However, we had a subletter (illegally--again, super absent landlord) who didn't tell us that his wife was staying with him for the last few weeks of the lease. We were NOT happy to find that she had been living in the apartment without us knowing; they had definitely tried very hard to keep the rest of us from finding out that she was there.

We would have been fine with it had he told us. But it was irritating that he hadn't even given us any notice.

@ros & @pi

I live in Ontario and we have similar laws here as Quebec. If you want to bring someone into your rental you can as long as you inform the landlord. They can't say no unless there's a legal reason (i.e. each dwelling has a limit on the number of occupants based on the number of rooms..). But, if you sneak someone in and don't tell them, they have reason to evict you. They can't raise the rent unless they provide utilities, and even then they can't raise it more than the actual increased cost of having the new person live there.So in larger buildings it's really difficult to prove the increase came from the new person vs. a two unit house.

@mginwa
The boyfriend's credit would have no impact here in Ontario as the lease is under Natalie's name. If the landlord doesn't want to add him to the lease on renewal, that's their perogative, but the lease obligation lies with Natalie and she was approved to live there without a second income and having another person there shouldn't impact her ability to meet the rent obligation.

The more I hear about tenancy laws in the US the more thankful I am to live somewhere where my home is protected by laws that are reasonable. It terrifies me to think that I could be kicked to the curb because the landlord doesn't like the person I'm dating!

ask.

@Carrotsticks - Again, I think the fear of US housing is overblown and kind of surprising that so many Canadians such as yourself express such feelings... As it has been said by many users, the US has many, many, many, MANY laws protecting tenants. Seriously. We don't live in slums because the landlords hate our significant others.

In fact, I don't know of anyone who was actually evicted just because the landlord didn't "like" the person the tenant was dating. There would be other reasons others have cited, like that you're required to notify the landlord how many people are living there so the landlord doesn't violate laws made to keep buildings from being overcrowded (you know, for the safety of all residents). And in other cases, you are required to pass a credit check and not telling the landlord who is living there skirts the requirement for a credit check.

Okay, I might have come off as kind of rude. I apologize. I just don't see why so many people think the US is some wild west of vindictive landlords...to me, it's a bizarre thing to think, especially because as an American, I have always assumed that Canada has reasonable laws protecting tenants from being discriminated against...like the US.

Wow, things must have change a lot since the 70's and free love. I moved many boyfriends in and out, and I never "asked" a landlord if it was OK. It was my name on the lease, and I was the one financially responsible for paying the rent. If I had a roommate or not, they never cared. I mean you have to be sensible, no more than 2 people per 1 bd. apartment, but other than that, no one had an opinion.

Just as an explanation to the Canadians-- US landlords like to do background checks on all of their renters, which I, as a renter, appreciate. I would not want to live in the same building as someone who has been convicted of sexual assault or of breaking & entering. In fact, sex offenders have to register where they live, so sneaking in with someone else could be a way for them to avoid doing this. Also, renters' insurance only covers the legal occupants, I think. This doesn't really answer the poster's question, but may help to provide some context. I would not want to live in Canada if there is no way of knowing whether your apartment building could be filled with rapists, burglars, or prostitutes whose johns might be traipsing down your hallway at odd hours! Although I am guessing that the US and Canada probably have prettty similar laws on these things...

I lived in a very small apartment several years ago and my landlord told me that my significant other couldn't move in because the apartment was too small. Some kind of legal, housing, occupancy code type thing. He could have gotten in trouble with the city. If you have a small place, that could be an issue.

tell your landlord/landlady that you just got engaged and your partner is moving in. (I agree, not telling is more dangerous..and scary)

@FLAUBERTFAN : your comment made me LOL. we don't have background checks but sometimes have to give a reference (e.g the previous landlord/lady). I've never lived with scary/dangerous neighbors (and I only now of one incidence where it was an issue and in that case even a background check wouldn't have worked). I would prefer a released convict over one of those brown-nosers and hypocrites who think they need to know about their neighbors life and moral conduct. Just pick a good neighborhood. Canada has the sexual convict registry as well.
IMO your idea of safety is superficial and fake. (pretty much the same problem as airport "safety")

Most leases, at least the last few that I had even before I signed with my last/final landlords, require to know if there are changes to whose living there and may only give less than a month time limit to guests staying with you.

Let the landlord know, once you are more finalized that the move in is going to occur. This way if changes to the lease need to be made (ie addition of the other person being added to the lease), then they can let you know what needs to be done. I informed my landlords of everything...addition of new kitty (even though they never saw the old kitty)...addition of the boyfriend with his dog....addition of my dog...personally replacing broken faucets...mini reno to the bathroom...painting. They were thankful for the info and could let me know at the time if they had any reservations, which they never did. I told them everything and the only thing they did was make us pay another $10 in rent for the extra dog. I think because of all the communication and care of the place (I treated it like I owned it), they let me out of my lease early with no penalties when I bought my house.

If it is serious enough to be living together, then find a place as a couple and both names are on the lease that way if things go South, you are both protected because if you do not add him to the lease and you break up, you are the one w/ the liability!

@Pi
I think the difference is that a landlord could theoretically decide that they don't like your live-in boyfriend and evict you, legally. Here they can't use arbitrary reasons for forcing you out.. whether it be because of a boyfriend or what your new job is. As long as you're paying your rent, not disturbing other tenants (with noise or excessive cleanliness issues) and you're not committing any crimes inside the apartment, you can't be evicted. In certain states (and perhaps some provinces, too) landlords can jack the rent when your lease expires essentially forcing you to leave. How is that protecting tenants?

I wasn't saying not to tell the landlord, actually I was saying the opposite. Honesty is best in these situations.

@Flaubertfan,
We do credit checks, but that is only to ensure the tenant has the ability to pay their rent. A bridger check can be done, but only with the consent of the tenant (it checks to see if you're on a terrorist watchlist). I have never heard of anyone asking to do a criminal background check though. I feel that if the person has done their time then they shouldn't have fewer opportunities for housing when they're released... You can't know who's traipsing down your hallway, even if you do all these background checks.@excelgum is right, these checks really don't protect anyone from criminals. There are plenty of criminals out there who've never been caught, and the ones that have been caught are sent through some level of rehabilitation (here in Canada, at least).

@CarrotSticks - That doesn't exist here, though, either. Our states have varying definitions with their laws, but most of them would not allow eviction based on not having a legal reason.

@excelgum - I don't understand where you make the leap from A to Z. Either you live with convicted felons or you live with brownosers, and you'd rather take the felons? How about all of us living in the middle B to Y portions who don't want either and do appreciate landlords and companies making sure that tenants do not have history of criminal activity that may be an issue. It's not really being nosy about someone's "moral conduct" if you just simply don't want to live near someone went to prison for robbing houses. It's just called common sense.

Apartment therapy, perhaps you should do (or have done?) a post on how to research your rights and liabilities as a tenant/landlord and some general basics. A lot of comments here appear misinformed.

My suggestion to Natalie: research the basics on landlord tenant law where you live and look over your lease. Consider whether it would be preferable for you and your boyfriend to have his name on the lease, regardless of the landlord's opinion. Then discuss the issue with your landlord. If you are worried about the LL's reaction, you could start the conversation by speaking in hypotheticals- i.e. you are considering the possibility of having your bf move in several months from now.

It's none of the landlord's business (and he could probably care less) whether he is your boyfriend, finance, husband, brother, or friend; male or female. Just inform the landlord you are planning to have a ROOMMATE move in, and ask what other information or paperwork he needs.

I can't imagine that (in this day and age) any landlord would reject someone on the basis of a couple not being married. If that does become an issue, that's a red flag that you shouldn't be dealing with this landlord in the first place.

Let him know because he might want to add any additional roommates to the lease or check his references. It's also important for him to have his contact info in case of emergencies.

@Pi,

There are other really easy ways for landlords to functionally evict tenants, such as raising the rent so high that they can't pay it and have to leave. I know many states have some form of rent control, but many do not. So theoretically, in these states, a landlord can functionally evict you for any reason they like. I find this alone reason enough to be leary of renting in these areas. I like knowing that I'm not going to be forced to leave on the whim of my landlord, even though I get along with them really well.

I don't think being unmarried would be an issue by itself, but they could worry about if this guy moves in and then trashes the place, or you break up & then you break the lease, etc, if there's someone living there that is not legally bound by the lease, that's a problem. It's the same thing if you get a pet that the landlord was not made aware of. It's better to know their terms upfront than to have a vindictive landlord on your hands...

As a landlord I concur with others--tell your landlord. Tenant combinations come in all sorts of flavors and I can't imagine most landlords blinking an eye at your relationship. That being said, I always want to know who lives in my building, be they human or animal. Recently a lovely, long-term tenant of mine decided to move her wonderful boyfriend into her apartment with her young daughter. I had no problem with it but have a requirement to have an application on file for every person in residence. He turned out to be a sex offender who had already turned in the address for compliance. We were all happy to see him go away. Good landlords will always work with good tenants as long as everyone is aboveboard.

In my state, (Texas) if a tenant invites someone to live with them and they have a falling out, the tenant CANNOT force the person to move out. If the tenant moves out, and that person remains, the tenant is responsible for the rent until the end of the lease. Sounds unbelievable I know. My daughter had her boyfriend move in and didn't get him on the lease. He threatened her, she called the police. Because he lived there and hadn't hurt her they couldn't do anything. Called the landlord, same thing. Called a lawyer, same thing. Lawyer said if you throw his stuff in the street and change the locks and he come back, HE can call the police and YOU are on the hook for any of his stuff that was broken or stolen while on the street. NEVER let anyone move in with you without getting them on the lease!

Why bring it up now? A lot can happen in 6 months... At the time he is ready to move in (and you have proven to be a great tenant), then bring it up. People have life changes all the time: births, marriages, domestic partnerships. I don't see the point in bringing it up 1/2 year before it is an issue!

As an agent for property management: Having someone else move in that's not on the lease, is a violation of the legal document. We have had to file eviction on people that do the same thing you're suggesting. It's not just that it would leave you without a good reference -- eviction WILL follow you when we screen your application for a new apartment. That will remain on your record, and future landlords will see that no matter what.

It is further against the fair housing act -- a federal law, and subject to federal punishment -- for any landowner to deny housing based on familial status. So I don't see even a reason why you'd try to sneak in your boyfriend.

It's not like you're sneaking in a pet for the last month of your lease. Your boyfriend will be in the apartment as a resident -- if he breaks anything, if he skips out on his half of the rent -- right now that would be on you. Anything he does to that apartment is your responsibility. But if you are on the same lease, he is also legally bound to the terms of the lease.

always be honest with your landlord. besides, you never know he or she may wind up being super nice. We were always up front and never had problems with our landlord and he allowed me and my soon to be husband to move in together 3 years ago without question. He even encouraged us to adopt a dog together.

My building has a zero tolerance policy on people living in apartments who aren't in the lease -- in fact, if we want to have guests for an extended period of time, we have to fill out a form with all the guest's contact information, etc. I realize this is the extreme on one side, but it does illustrate that ultimately it is in your best interests to be honest with your landlord or suffer the consequences.

Also, that lease with only your name on it means you alone are responsible for the condition the property is in. Do you have renter's insurance? You could nullify your policy if the terms of the lease are violated. There are just a lot more reasons to say something than to not. And even if the landlord isn't cool with another person living in your unit, at least you know that before all of your boyfriend's stuff is moved in. Your landlord will find out...best to find out from you.

Yes, tell your landlord. Personally, I had my bf added as an occupant with the lease in my name. Since I qualified for the apartment alone, my landlord had no issues with my bf moving in. I kept him as an occupant so if we were to ever break up, I would stay in the apartment and he would move out and I let my landlord know that was the arrangement. Not the most romantic of arrangements, but should we break up, I'm sure as hell not moving out.

As ERICAHD mentioned, find out the laws in your area. After that, if you are allowed to add a roommate/partner without mentioning it to your landlord, then DON'T. It's not his business as long as it's not past the occupancy of the apartment. Would you ask his permission if to have your child if you became pregnant? Of course not, you do not consult anyone other than the people you wish to consult about life changes like this one.

However, if you wish to add your boyfriend to the lease (a good idea if you both wish to say in the apartment longer than a year), then tell your landlord your boyfriend/fiance is moving in and that you'd like to add him to the lease. Approach your landlord about 6 weeks before he moves in and see what happens. If there are issues and you do have the right to have a partner in the apartment, then you two can decide if you wish to fight to stay or save up to leave when the lease is up. Either way, good luck.

Wow, obviously the laws are a lot different in the US compared to Australia. Here if a landlord presumed to tell a renter who she could or couldn't have in her house it would be a national scandal!

Would you like anybody to be sneaky on you on anything? Probably not. And that's the best reason to be honest with your landlord.

And for people commenting that in their country it's different, it may very well be, but in every country I lived in, usually all the tenants (roommates or couples) are mentioned on the lease so everybody's responsible for paying the rent. It can be tough to live with someone who doesn't pay their share, so it's better it their name on the lease makes them financially responsible.

Hey, question-asker here!

Thanks for all the great answers.

This might be a bit late, but for those wondering about why I have been reluctant to ask (specifically @Edenbean @Jaimemariel @Pi and @Alicee): it's a shared apartment. The other tenants didn't sign up to live with a couple, and I've heard that some people aren't willing to do so (I think they're worried about couple-based arguments and stress). That's the main problem I'd considered (which could hopefully be gotten round by talking to them in advance, agreeing to split bills, etc) but I was wondering whether anyone had encountered any others.

I hadn't even thought about the unmarried/moral issue! I don't think that would be a problem though.

Thanks again for all the advice, and sorry I wasn't clearer from the outset!

I had my boyfriend (now husband) move in with me and never once even thought to ask the landlord! Funny. My lease now does stipulate the number of people that can live in the apartment, but that one didn't. From your response today, it seems you have more to worry about with your roommates than your landlord.

@_Natalie_

You need to speak with your roommates first, then to your landlord. If your roommates are on-board then your landlord shouldn't have any issues unless there are occupancy limits where you live.

The alternative would be for you both to find your own place, which is probably a much better situation for everyone. I've lived with a couple before and it isn't the best. There's an automatic implied "team" mentatlity that permeates the normal roommate relationship. It's not for me, but your roommates might feel differently.

I am having this same problem now. I moved out of my apartment and in with my boyfriend. I can prove income, etc, but have a crappy credit score due to a divorce (and in my case, my bad credit was not my fault. I got slammed with divorce things that I never bought)...6 years later, someone is telling my boyfriend that I can't be added to his lease because I have a shitty credit score, even though my boyfriend has lived in his apartment for 2 years, and already paid deposit, etc. The landlord is not responsible for ANY of the utlities and STILL is saying I can't move in because of my credit score. Im a working adult and can pay rent, but why are landlords being unfair with credit scores when I am a good tenant and have 10 YEARS of FLAWLESS teneant/landlord records? I think the original question was regards to credit, etc. And we are in West Hollywood of all places!!!!

in NY state, including NYC, you are allowed to have one roommate & its dependant children, as long as codes stay in compliance (cleanliness, alarm mtce, no double cylinder locks, max occupants/sq ft, the usual), there are no drugs, you pay rent. you do not have to notify owner. if you add person to lease, s/he goes through same credit & other checks as you & owner can say yes/no. persons on lease have equal rights/obligations, including lease renewal if mandated, regardless of relationship status (movies have been made abt this). in certain jurisdictions, including all of NYC, it is illegal for more than three unrelated persons to live together in one unit.

Again, If someone is moving in solo, she is signing a lease for her, the one occupant moving in at that time... There is not a need to bring up a potential occupant... At the appointed time, have a discussion with the landlord!

I moved into an apartment 6 months ago (halfway through with our lease, now) with my boyfriend. The lease is in my name, but he is listed as an occupant. I got the apartment based on my income; they didn't look at his due to an old eviction on his record.

In my situation though, I live above a tenant who's been there for I don't know how long. She's in a one bedroom like mine. A few months ago she had her daughter, the daughter's husband, and their 4-5 yr old daughter move in with her. And they've complained about US; I'm pretty annoyed, with their constant fighting inside and outside their home, and constantly slamming their door, they have the nerve to say WE are making too much noise. Maybe if they weren't all living in the living room of a 611 sq ft apartment, they wouldn't be so grouchy.

In this case it was obvious that the extra tenants moved in. They even called the office, who called me, to complain just the other day. Maybe the office already knows and doesn't care, or doesn't realize that the four of them are living there, but I'm sure as hell going to let them know what I think.

My current apartment has been one BIG nightmare! My husband and I are too very flexible, understanding people and maybe there really isn't a place for that when you hunt for your new space? RED FLAG # 1 When I called the first time to ask to see the place I was blown off by the 24 year old building manager because she had tickets to a concert...
When I saw the place I fell inlove with the look of it, but noticed MUCH wrong with it. Addressing these things one at a time to the building manager and her boyfriend. Each thing I said the responce was " Oh, yeah were gonna fix that before you move in." I looked at the place a month before my lease at my last apartment ran out. They said they'd have the follwing fixed in a month: New paint, ripping carpet out completely, fixing the bathroom floor, putting a dead bolt in the front door and give us keys, Fixing the back door, OH and the leak in the cieling in the living room! I was terrified this wouldnt work out but even more so that in a month if I didn't find a place we'd be sleeping on a park bench! Each week I saw more improvement, till about the last 2 weeks there was a complete STOP. My husband finished ripping out the carpet & had to use a belt sander to get all the layers of glue off the wood floors. Also the place was filthy! We got our lease to sign I think maybe a few days before we were due to move in. The " lease " was one page. Very basic lease, but nothing really stuck out to me. So we both signed it.... idiots! We called about once a week about this leak never being finished, called asking when they can come get there ladders, buckets, power tools etc. Everytime I asked about the leak they said theyre sending there maintance guy over to fix it. I to this day have never seen or met this man, but know he enters my apartment without permission or notice and hasn't fixed anything. I called my landlord who lives out of state and told him about the leak. He told me I can find somewhere else to live, told me I'm not being patient and ended it by suggesting I don't store anything important under the leak. So a month into moving in my young building managers quit, packed up and moved in the middle of the night. And then I got the remainder of my lease which states in the most basic way : If I wasnt to I can evict you for any reason & at any time.
Stuck till September. This site & all of your advise has been so helpfull for the next move. Thank you!

At least you are heterosexual! I'm a lesbian and just signed a lease to live in a beautiful apartment in NYC. The landlord is about 85 years old and a traditional Muslim woman. Her family was extremely sweet, kind and handled matters for her. However, I'm terrified to ask them if my lesbian lover of 5 years can live with me. My name is the only one on the lease and it is for single occupancy. The Landlord's apartment is right across from mine, so either she will think that I have a very close cousin constantly visiting or she will find out that something isn't right, even if she can't piece together the nature of our relationship. It saddens me that this would be an issue. My girlfriend and I are very feminine and most never realize that we are together, but I'm not comfortable with the stress of having to hide. Any advise?

I've lived in NYC since 1995 and most landlords take double occupancy as a chance to raise the rent as much as $600. I agree with being honest, but when rents are already high (over $2000/month for a one bedroom) in Manhattan it can be stressful financially to come clean knowing your rent is going to go up. I'm with everyone to be on the up and up but not understanding why this would be an issue seems a little naive.