I have a sleep disorder and my H and I share a king sized bed. We have a separate twin bed in our 2nd bedroom that I will sometimes move to in the middle of the night if I can't stay asleep.

Having tried out the separate beds, recently on business travel, I have to say that it doesn't really help. You can still hear your spouse move or snore, etc. If you want to get them to roll over while snoring, you now have to get out of bed to do so, rather than just gently trying to tap them.

The best bet it to get a nice mattress and a white noise generator.

I think it all comes down to the REASON you're looking at twin beds, not the actual doing it that says something about your marriage. People who sleep separately because one (or both) of them is uncompromising or jerky (like a blanket stealer who is rude when awoken or something) may be on track for divorce because of the trait, not sleeping separately. recently when my infant twins were sick I slept in the living room to be close to them, there was something romantic about going into my "husband's room" to say goodnight.

One possibility could be to upgrade your current mattress and see if it helps your husband to get a better night's sleep without so much tossing and turning. Memory foam maybe? Just a thought, and it might mean a better sleep for you, as well.

I have heard that the secret to a happy marriage is to sleep in separate beds.

I do tend to get a little territorial in the middle of the night when my boyfriend and I sleep together. For this reason, I'm hoping for a king size bed once we shack up.

Between my husband's sleep apnea, our bulldog's snoring, our Saint Bernard's night terrors, and my sleep-onset insomnia, sleep in our house is quite complicated. For years, we had miserable sleep, which lead to miserable days.

Now, with our $2500 tempurpedic kind size bed, a fan for white noise, proper medication for me, and his CPAP machine, my husband and I are getting good sleep in the same bed, in the same room, every night. We tried the separate beds, separate rooms, separate houses options, and nothing satisfied us. When we finally upgraded our bed to a top of the line option (we got the Tempurpedic cloud--it's divine), we were kicking ourselves for not doing it sooner. It seemed like an unnecessary indulgence, but having had 6 months of good sleep now, I can honestly say it wasn't an indulgence, it was a vital upgrade.

I want separate beds in separate bedrooms! Seriously, my husbands snoring is ruining. my. life.

Even when I was little I knew I always wanted to have separate bedrooms for my future husband. My parents thought I was funny to even think of it but I love making "mattress angels" and you certainly can't do that if some dude is next to you even if that dude is your husband.

I didn't sleep a solid night the entire first two years my boyfriend and I dated. We joked about the twin beds, but we enjoy snuggling too much. When we bought a house, I upgraded our full to a queen (no room for a king), with a super-sturdy steel platform (no bouncing) and a knockoff Tempurpedic (for now). That, along with a fan, has made a world of difference. But for nights when one of us is tossing and turning? It's off to the guest bedroom.

My husband and I have two double beds pushed together. We have separate sheets and blankets, and we both sleep well. I couldn't sleep in the same bed with him because of the tossing and blanket stealing. Once I'm asleep, I like to stay that way.

PS We don't meet in the middle. We do it on his bed, so mine stays clean. He doesn't care.

I'm all for separate bedrooms. Even separate apartments. I'm not much for cohabiting. BTW Bethany, I'm pretty sure Marshall and Lily didn't "hear a friend recount the tail of his divorce." They probably heard the "tale" of his divorce.
Nighty night ATers. According to AT's time stamp it's past my bed time. Surely it can't really be 10:45 p.m.?

The best thing that me and my partner did was get seperate blankets. Just that did the trick for better sleeping. We have a queen bed, 1 queen comforter/ flat sheet and 1 twin comforter/ flat sheet. Best scenario ever!

I think it is a good idea. I hate sleeping with someone, I like having my own blankets, and I flip over a lot due to joint issues. Works for me.

My boyfriend and I have lived together for years. We have separate bedrooms because we both decided it was important to have a space that is exclusively your own. We do, however, sleep together nearly every night, and his room is primarily the "guest bedroom". But when one of us is sick or has to get up unreasonably early and doesn't want to disturb the other, we at least have the option of another bedroom. He also, hilariously, treats "my" bedroom as if he's visiting, and takes anything he's brought into the room back to his room the next morning. With this arrangement we both always get a good night sleep no matter what the circumstances, and we both respect each other's space.

Can we, as a culture, please please please make this a normal thing? I daydream about sleeping in a separate bed from my husband, and our relationship is no where near "in trouble". In fact, maybe sleeping in separate beds will help me from not hating him in twenty years when he's had 20 years of good sleep and I haven't!

I'm all for it. Especially if we have two queen beds :)

I have a cousin who has night terrors and whose husband snores like a gutted boar (or the other way around). When they have early mornings the next day, they sleep in separate rooms.

In Europe most adult couples have two comforters on the bed (twin sized) with a quilt on top. Makes sharing the blankets a non issue....a baby step in the right direction?

But as someone who also has a sleep disorder- a good night of sleep makes me a happier person then anything else- so I think the people that love me would rather me sleep then sleep next to him.

"So, am I overreacting?"

Yes, you're over-reacting.

I'm of the belief that sharing a bed/bedroom with my Snores-Like-A-Freight-Train-Ex was the ultimate downfall of our relationship.

It would confuse the cat too much...

I read in My Life in France, that Julia Child and her husband not only slept in different beds, but in seperate rooms entirely because of his snoring. Every morning, though, Julia would climb in to bed with him and they'd read the newspaper together. Didn't seem to hamper their marriage :)

i had a bad experience in this dept. I consider myself a light sleeper, but with my BF my mere being in the bed gave him nights of bad sleep evidenced by the red eyes, dark circles and grouchiness the day after.

we finally broke down and got a second mattress for the nights I stayed over. Although his sleep much improved, I was not a fan and ended up feeling like a second class citizen. neither situation was good, although looking back, had I just looked at it as 'hey, the poor guy needs sleep and I shouldnt take it personally' we would have gotten through it much better.

they key here being reason and acceptance of it. good luck!

My Ex snored and not only kept me from falling asleep, but kept me from staying asleep. He slept on the couch for years. Divorced 2 years now, I'd give ANYTHING to get that lost cuddle time back. Spend the money on a good sleep apnea test and not on twin beds.

I would say that separate bedrooms saved our relationship rather than destroying it. We were on the verge of a break up before separate beds, between sleeplessness and issues with privacy and personal space. Now, we sleep separately, and 'stay over' in each others' bedrooms a couple of nights a week. We decorate our rooms in our own styles and compromise on decorating the rest of the house. We're happier, more well rested, and our sex life has actually improved. I highly recommend it.

Oh I love this post. I agree that sleeping in separate beds would probably SAVE a ton of marriages and not ruin them.
I want my own bed now.

my BF sleeps over on weekends and neither of us ever get a good night's sleep Fri-Sun. if we were to ever move in together, we'd first get a king size bed and separate blankets. if that didn't work, i'd totally go two doubles side by side. we slept like that on vacation last summer and it was awesome.

I'd consider upgrading to a nice mattress and larger bed before I resorted to separate twin beds. What about sleep by # bed or even california king?

God, that story line annoyed me so much on HIMYM. Seriously you have to sleep in the same bed or you will get a divorce? How bad has your marriage to be if separate beds can destroy them? And anyway wouldn't you think it might help your marriage if you get a good nights sleep undisturbed by your husband instead of lying awake and being angry with him?

My father snores. My mother sleeps therefore in my older sisters old room (she moved out). That has been so for a few years. Their relationship has always been very stable and very happy and that hasn't changed in the least but my sixty year old working mother is very happy to get a good sleep.

Sleeping separately makes me love my husband so much more! When we were sleeping in the same bed, I would be so angry with him all the time for keeping me up all night. I was constantly short on sleep, which makes me so cranky. Sleeping separately most of the time really helps. Now, I struggle when we travel and have to sleep in the same bed! He tucks me in every night, and on weekends we spend a few hours in the morning in the same bed for cuddling. Perfect! I get a full night's sleep, and don't want to smother my husband in his.

My boyfriend and I are close to becoming engaged, and we have discussed having separate rooms when we marry. Throughout our relationship we have enjoyed spending the night at each other's place; why not continue that into marriage? I don't give a flip what other people think about the proposed arrangement. What will work for us is what will keep us happy, and what makes us happy is what will keep us together.

My husband is a sleep talker which is really annoying for me. It took me about 6 months but I now sleep much heavier and don't notice his chatter. If we had separate beds it would ruin our marriage; that's just us personally though.

@Village- HAHA

I love the responses to this post and seeing that people aren't so tied to convention as I would have guessed. Whatever works for you is by all means the best way, despite whatever it implies to others. I think it's awesome!

We sleep in a queen, and it's small. I reallly want a king (so much better when I pregnant/night feeding), but my husband prefers the queen. I wouldn't go to a twin only because it impedes spontaneous snuggling. But I'm not sure sleeping arrangements are the downfall of a marriage, they're a symptom, not the problem.

Up with good sleep!
Down with conventional thinking that considers 'alternative' sleep arrangements taboo.

Wish I could sleep well with another person in the bed, but I can't.

In the Netherlands, it's common (or used to be) to bring two single beds together, or use a large bed frame but use two single mattresses together.

Two single mattresses on a queen frame -- for some reason -- kept my boyfriend over on his side, and allowed me to move around as much as I pleased without bothering him. Also, using separate comfortors (or whatever coverings) helped too, as he is a blanket hog.

btw: the 2 single mattresses were directly on a good, slatted queen frame, but in north america they could be laid down on a queen box mattress)

also btw: NY Times had an article (a year ago or so?) about this issue... how more people are getting separate beds or bedrooms. It's a totally separate issue from the relationship, except that it can lead to a healthier one if people are more healthy or have space issues.

I am a total blanket pirana...it's really bad. Sleeping with separate sheets is the only way my BF and I can share a bed. I used to think king-sized mattresses were overkill but I'm beginning to come around on that, too :)

Oh, and love the HIMYM reference on AT!

If you are not convinced by the separate beds idea you can try to deal with the snoring itself.

Is your husband overweight? I bring it up because it is a common cause of snoring. If he is on the chubby side push him to the lose the extra pounds and watch, the snoring will probably disappear too.

well i certainly wouldn't call sleeping in separate beds taboo. my personal situation finds that while sleeping is one of the few precious moments i have to be close to my partner (what with having busy and differing schedules), there are times when it's necessary for one of us to sleep elsewhere. such as, when i am sick, i might bed down in a separate room so's not to wake him with my coughing.

if tossing and turning are your issues, i support the suggestion of investing in a mattress that does not transfer motion.

we've gotten to the point in our relationship where most bedtime idiosyncrasies don't bother us, and we personally can't sleep well without each other. but the needs of everyone varies! bed time is one of the few times we get to be together physically, but sleeping together works best for us. it's not the same for everyone!

I wouldn't have a problem with twin beds, but we're fine in a queen sized bed with separate blankets. I like to cocoon (tuck the covers under my body all the way around) and that wouldn't leave him ANYTHING otherwise.

I've always had to sleep with a fan going for the white noise (I can't even remember not having one).

my in-laws have 2 twin beds shoved together to make a king-sized bed. Mother-in-law no longer feels the constant movement of father-in-law. Sanity restored.
We have a Simmons mattress, and it's made a world of difference! I no longer want to sedate my husband to make him stop moving. The "motion separation" isn't as full as for separate beds, but darn it's great.

King sized bed and separate blankets, only way to go.

My grandparents didn't just have separate beds but separate rooms after their kids grew up and left home (thus freeing a spare room). They loved the arrangement and it worked great for them.

Me and my boyfriend have been discussing moving in together and I totally plan to keep my full size bed in a second bedroom for nights when I just want some room to spread out since I like to do the whole bed angel thing too. I'm also self-employed while my BF works a 9-5 job, so if I'm up late working crashing on my bed would be better than waking him up by crawling into bed at 3am or me waking up at 7am when he gets up for work.

If the reason you are sleeping in separate beds or rooms are because of relationship problems then you're probably doomed. Separate beds however probably aren't the source of those problems.

This is a really funny post. I personally think twin beds are cute. I don't think it would prevent my husband from waking me up in the middle of the night thoug, if he snored, I'd still hear it. I think it seems totally weird to have separate bedrooms, but only because it's uncommon with people I know about. It sounds like a dream! Whenever we "light the fire" we are either not going to bed at all, or I'm going to bed and he's going to go downstairs and play video games or watch a movie by himself, wouldn't really make a difference if we were in my room or his. We never go to sleep at the same time anyway. What a refreshing thought!

OH & PS... Usually he tries to cuddle me at like 6:00am, not actually awake, I wake up at 7:00 for work... It usually drives me more crazy because I can't fall back asleep! So sweet, but bad timing.

My Grandparents always had separate beds- and separate bedrooms! Grandparents on BOTH sides of my family, even. I do admit to sleeping on the couch at least once a month, I get sleep anxiety and worry about keeping the hubs up with my constant tossing and turning. Sometimes separate beds just work.

I go to bed much earlier than my husband, so he tucks me in each night...he'll lay down with me and we'll snuggle and talk/joke a little before I drift off to sleep. Then when he's ready to go to sleep (hours later, I'm an old lady apparently), he lays on the living room couch to watch a documentary. It helps his brain power down. Sometimes he'll wake up and come crawl into bed with me, sometimes not. And even though I tend to wake more and be more conscious of my own movements when he's in the bed with me (I've been accused of hogging the bed - IT IS THE CAT'S FAULT), I'm definitely happier to wake in the morning with him there.

That said, though, I definitely sleep better when I have the bed all to myself. I think our 50/50 routine works pretty well for both of us, though, and I don't think our marriage suffers at all for it.

Both sets of grandparents slept in separate beds, one set at opposite ends of the house because of snoring. Focus on being together when you're awake and get a good night's sleep.

I'm single now, but I know I don't sleep well in a shared bed or even a shared bedroom, so I lean towards not sleeping together.

We have two full size beds!! Our marriage is solid, we're in love, and this works out PERFECTLY. Some nights we sleep together (obviously...) some nights I cuddle up in my bed with a good book and enjoy the solitary calmness. It's excellent. And as a side bonus, after two or three nights sleeping in our own beds, we reconnect and feel like we're sharing a bed for the first time in months which is pretty damn exciting.... you know what i mean....

Our bed is two King singles side by side. When needs be, it's really easy to pull them apart, although I really only needed my own sleeping space whilst pregnant.

My dad has given my mom a black eye when they were both sleeping. Therefore his permanent bed is nowhere near my mom. They have been married for over thirty years and have a healthy sex life. (Yes, my mom loves to share too much.) My boyfriend and I sleep separate during the week because we work opposite schedules and we don't want to wake each other up, however on the weekend we do sleep together and it is a nice little treat to have. :)

together for 15 years we know what severe sickness, much earlier mornings for one and not the the other, sheet stealing etc are like and our sleeping patterns and behaviors have definitely changed over the years.... but we manage to sleep comfortably in the same bed and although i can see where many of you are coming from, i hope we continue to. in the midst of lifes craziness it is something we both look forward to very much.

Like some of the other comments, I've had good luck with two twins pushed together. I even went so far as to put them in a platform frame to make a "king sized" bed. I did it because I couldnt fit a king sized bed up the stairs, but wound up really liking it.

My husband and I sleep in separate rooms and have ever since we moved in together. We cuddle/talk about our days/have business time, then retire to our own spaces. It helps up hold onto our autonomy and personal space. Plus, I am the worlds lightest sleeper. I think it positively affects our relationship - we are rock solid.

Just to what is right for you and screw tradition.

I think it is a personal thing but, I will admit that not sleeping with my husband did negatively impact our relationship. If you are a couple who gives each other a lot of affection etc. in the first place the this might be less of a problem. However, sleeping in separate bed is what made us realize we spend most of our affection time together in bed, not just doing it but talking cuddling etc. If we don't sleep together then basically we won't have any physical contact with each other until we do.

As for the sleep part I admit I sleep better without him - I have a sacred nap-time during which I get at least three hours uninterrupted. But this is because the hubs. works from mid afternoon until about midnight. Also we each have designated blankets: I get the comforter and maybe an extra quilt he takes the sheet and just the sheet. Any attempt at anything else means I wake up burning up no matter how cold it is because he has thrown all the covers on me.

I think it's funny all the comments about grandparents sleeping in separate beds too. I know mine do - apparently this started in the mid 70s because of a much younger than his siblings and slightly unplanned uncle in my grandparents' case. :)

I think it's great that lots of people here are figuring out what works for them and not worrying about how you're "supposed" to do things.

My honey and I really enjoy cuddling and sleeping together, so that works for us. When he has to stay up late working, I find I don't sleep well at all; I wake up every hour or so looking for him! The cats are great at keeping me company when he's not there, but I really miss him. There's nothing better than getting up in the middle of the night to pee, then getting back into the warm bed and snuggling my warm guy. Yummy!

I love the idea of separate beds/ bedrooms, but my problem is not snoring or tossing, it's snuggling!!! I shouldn't complain, but my guy wants to be too close. I've tried several different ways to tell him I can't sleep well that way, but he tends to take it personally. How do I say "stay on your side" without having a sad guy? I've thought of trading off every other night, but I don't want to sleep well for only HALF of the rest of my life! Yipes!

My guy and I sleep in the same bed with a 2 year old between us. I stick to the edge of the queen bed. Allegedly, he's going to get her to sleep in her own bed when she turns 3 next month by sleeping on the floor by her for a while. I'm looking forward to having the whole bed to myself.. even for just a few nights. I'd love two beds!

In the words of Jerry Seinfeld... "I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with 'THAT'".

I cannot sleep comfortably in a bed with another human, and I really hope my future husband does not take offense to separate beds/rooms!

It just occurred to me that some couples sleep under the same blanket. It seems so simple yet it boggles my mind. I feel like someone would inevitably get screwed every night. I am a cocooner, so the BF and I have had separate blankets from day one. He always laughs when I roll myself up like a human burrito.
It's nice to see so many people are making their sleeping arrangements work for them! We in a tiny tiny studio right now but maybe someday we'll have separate twins that can be rolled together. I like to eat, read, hang out and generally do everything in bed and the crumbs drive him insane! :( I feel bad, but I'm not going to sit at the table every time I want a snack! There is no shame in separate beds, rooms or even apartments!

I have the same problem with light sleeping. We finally solved this problem by getting a larger, king-size bed with a Tempurpedic mattress that does not transfer motion.

We did this three years ago, and it has made a wonderful difference in being able to sleep soundly at night! I can't imaging going back to a queen-size springy mattress again. Best purchase EVER!

I suggested this to every woman I've had a long-term relationship with, including my wife. It has not been welcomed, although I dream about it every day.

I'm glad someone has finally posted something about this. I love my boyfriend. We dated for 2 years before we made the choice to move in together last May. I was shell shocked to say the least about the decline in the quality of sleep for both of us.. and it's not because we were up all night doing anything fun! He steals blankets no matter how many I put on the bed and they all end up on the floor next to him and snores so loud to quote a few different people "RUINS MY LIFE". Seriously. We rent a small house with 2 bedrooms and use the other one as a small office/game room for him. I'm tempted to get a twin bed and see if we can try the having our own room/ own bed thing but I think he'd be offended, he's big on the cuddling thing.

Was anyone who sleeps in separate rooms/ beds spouse offended when you brought it up?

When my husband and I first started sleeping in bed together it took me a REALLY long time to get used to sharing a bed. We both like to roll over a lot in our sleep so it took about a year before we both got used to each other and seem to coordinate our rolls together now. I definitely had a lot of sleepless night and suffered through a work day however, now it's totally worth it being able to cuddle up to my hubby.

my girlfriend has a full and I have a queen. It's amazing how much that extra 6" in width makes a difference. Also for people that complain about partners snoring... ear plugs. I've slept with ear plugs for the last 4 years. I used to wake up at any little sound, even a newspaper hitting a driveway at 5am. At first it freaks you out a bit thinking you won't be able to hear anything, but then you realize it doesn't make you deaf, it just mutes mild noises that would otherwise wake you up. I can still hear my alarm clock and I can still hear my cat knocking something over or begging for food in the morning. I can still hear my girlfriend talking to me, but I can't hear her light snoring or any other noises that would normally wake me up or keep me up. Problem solved.

I don't think sleeping in separate beds is a downfall to a marriage - it might actually help. The problem is in most apartments bedrooms just aren't big enough without looking cluttered. I do admit one of the last times we were in separate bedrooms I slept peacefully.

10 years ago when my partner and I met we always slept together. Once the honeymoon was over he started sleeping on the couch because he likes to fall asleep with the tv on and it keeps me awake. Pretty much like clockwork he wakes up at 1:30 and comes to bed. I used to feel weird about it but then realized it was nice going to sleep with the whole bed (not counting dogs/cats) to myself. Now I find it quite nice when he crawls into bed and snuggles up next to me. If one of us is sick we make use of the spare bedroom so the other can have a good nights sleep. We both sleep better and think nothing of it.

I snore AND I am a light sleeper, if that's even possible. Separate rooms is what I like!

is it just the moving around that wakes you up? because two twin mattresses pushed together is the same size as a king. so you could push two twins together, and cover them with a single pair of king-sized sheets, but because you have separate mattresses you would never feel him moving around!

Oh man, this post reminds me of this book complete with illustrations of couple sleep "poses": http://evany.com/sleepbook.htm

My husband and I always sleep wrapped around each other. He calls his favorite pose the "John Lennon," similar in style to the famous Annie Liebovitz Rolling Stone picture. Sure, there are times when his sleep-induced heavy breathing irritates me if I'm having difficulty drifting off but like most things in marriage there is more good than bad.

My husband snores to a level where I can hear him through earplugs, so we sleep in separate bedrooms. It's not how I imagined married life to be, but I have to say that it really works for us. Let's face it. . . being irritated with your partner in the middle of the night, and being sleep deprived, are not good for a relationship.

Without a doubt, separate bedrooms are the only way to go.

I don't like to be breathed on when I sleep- it creeps me out. I don't like to have someone holding me or even touching me while I sleep- it gives me nightmares of drowning. I'm a light sleeper and notorious cover thief. I bundle myself up in the cover so tightly you can't get it back without waking me up and I'm always in a violently disagreeable mood when I wake up. My husband still wants to cuddle up next to me. I don't know why- I'm as cuddly as an irritated porcupine when it's time to sleep.

We got a bigger bed, a queen first, then a king. The king is the right size to give me enough room. We use separate blankets- and we don't skimp on them. We've both got king sized blankets. It keeps me from thieving his. It's as close to separate beds as we could justify and I sleep so much better. I also started putting on white noise and that helped a lot as well- I wake up much less frequently to noises.

Oh goodness. "Sleeping together" and sleeping together are two entirely different things. I could copy-paste Villages comment and only have to add that our beds are tied together by a metal thingy at the middle foot-end legs. Works like a charm and I get my sleep. Ear plugs help keep the *heavy* snoring out, but it would feel weird not to sleep in the same room. I get that snoring makes sleep such a luxury for some that they choose different rooms, though.

I used to think that separate beds/ bedrooms was a recipe for divorce. Now that I have small children and a husband who snores periodically, I would give almost anything for a twin bed to retreat to once in a while. I don't want a room of my own, but it would be nice to get more than 4 hours of sleep in a row.

I would LOVE a second bedroom....I sleep pretty well with my partner but the nights that he's out of town are always the nights I get into bed early with some tea and a book and sleep beautifully.

Twin beds is my ultimate fantasy - my partner however would neeeeever go for it.

So you share a bed and wake up disgruntled because thanks to your partner you had an miserable night and barely slept... I'd say sleeping well is an important part of a relationship, not the sleeping arrangement.

My boyfriend's nickname for me is the "bed-raper." I'm the push you off the bed and steal all the sheets kind of girl. He's possibly the loudest snorer I've ever met. A couple nights in the same bed together is the best we can do to enjoy that time without wanting to punch each other in the face.

We've talked about moving in together and we both agreed for sanity's sake we'd each have our own separate bedrooms.

For us, having nights too ourselves is just as important as the ones we spend together. I'd say you're overreacting.

My grandparents have had separate rooms for YEARS (possibly their whole marriage?) and they've been married and in love for over 50 years. He snores heavily and she is a very delicate/light sleeper.

I suspect their marriage is better thanks to this set up.

I never understood why one person in a relationship should have better sleep over another.

On the weekdays my Fiance and I have seperate bedrooms. Yes he snores, hogs the blanket, moves around like a freight train, talks/cries in his sleep, wakes at 2am for work and his body temperature is feverish-like while I'm much cooler. We agreed that his early starts and our 9 month old son waking at least 3 times each night was too much disruption. The last straw came 3 weeks ago when my Fiance snored and it sounded like a gate banging! I couldn't get back to sleep til almost dawn.

On the weekend we sleep together when we're not rushing around like headless chooks. I've noticed his bed-behaviour is much better and we catch up on cuddling. The best thing is saving over a thousand dollars on a new ensemble whilst putting our rarely used guest room to good use.

I'm lucky that we're both snugglers, but sometimes his snoring is too much. As long as I get to sleep first, though, it isn't a problem because I'm a heavy sleeper. Still thinking of investing in earplugs, though.

As for separate beds, if you really need them, it could be a good thing. Still, be sure that at least one is bigger than a twin so that you can roll around in it. ;)

urbantree123 - My fiance is big on cuddling too but he weighs a tonne for someone who is average build. It feels like I'm stuck under a semi-trailer.

ecleptic - Your first two points I can definitely relate to. So relieved I'm not the only one.

lindseyh84 - My Fiance refused the seperate beds/room at first, but he came around when our 9 month old son started teething! Normally when he wakes at 2am for work, he looks for his clothes by banging every door and drawer in the room. He then stomps around looking for his two sets of keys and his wallet, swearing. By the time he's left the house baby and I are wide awake. Now we sleep through HIS morning routine and I wake up much less irritated.

I am a very very light sleeper and I work days while my husband works nights. On the days I have to work the next day my husband sleeps in his office and off days we share the bed. We've been together for 15 yrs and this has been working wonderfully for us.

I read 3/4 of the posts then gave up -- what a long discussion! If you got this far, I have only one thing to add to what has been said:
twin master suites! Sigh!

My partner and I are on a platonic level (divorced amicably, domestic partners, no sexual relationship at this time...) When we built our new house, we heard that this (twin masters) was the Next Big Thing, which works for us perfectly. We both have separate rather large bedrooms, 3/4 bathrooms joined by a shared bubble tub room (since neither of use uses a tub very often, but both want one available.) So if we ever modify our living arrangements, we can stroll through the bathrooms into each otehr's suite. And if we ever sell to someone who doesn't want to sleep apart, it would be easy to convert one bedroom to two smaller ones for kids.

For the OP, I second (or whatever) the concept of twin mattresses on a shared (king??) bed frame, or one of those Sleep Number beds (although I never slept on one -- more the concept of separation of surface, I'm suggesting) since it doesn't sound like your room is big enough for two beds. And lets be blunt: when you WANT to be together, a twin is too small!

Wow what a great post! This topic is often on my mind, as my boyfriend often sleeps over at my apt. I've never had a problem sharing a bed with anyone before [friends, family, exbfs] and unfortunately this problem is getting worse; I think it is due to his snoring and restlessness.

I dream of taking the cohabitation step....specifically, I dream of him sleeping in his own bed, in his own room, and not waking me up with snoring/tossing/getting ready in the morning. Hey, I need my 8 hrs!

@ lindseyh84: My husband tosses and turns a lot at night. It got so bad when he got a promotion last year (he worries too much) that I was really only sleeping after he left in the morning. I would spend hours each night being kept awake by the transferred movement in our queen-size el cheapo spring bed, occasionally waking him by yelling because he had woken me AGAIN just as I was drifting off. Every time I brought up how horrible I felt from lack of sleep, he would get upset because he couldn't imagine having separate beds. Eventually, though, I told him that we HAD to do something. No questions, I deserve to sleep too. I convinced him that he was clinging to the superstition that separate beds meant we had no intimacy. So we traded our queen for two twins pushed together a few months ago, and it saved my sanity. I now realize that being so close to him and his furnace-like body heat was also disturbing me. When we first moved in together some of our sleeping habits changed, but I'll always be a light sleeper. Clearly our marriage hasn't dissolved, so he's happy too. The only issue we have is that extracurricular...activities tend to result in the beds separating lol.

jwl0001 - Pretty much the same here - it would be nice and I know we'd both sleep better, but he doesn't like the idea and unless we slept in separate rooms, neither bedroom is big enough for two beds. If I had my way and more money, I'd want to rent a different apartment with a bigger master so we could do twins in the same room.

I loved this thread.

Here's another vote for enjoying separate bedrooms. When I moved in with my partner, we agreed that it was important to us that we each have a room to retreat to for those times when we need some quiet and solitude. Our routine each night is that we start off in one of the bedrooms then, as one of us starts to drift off, the other slips away and we each sleep comfortably in our own bedrooms. We both sleep more soundly having our own beds (mine a queen, his a full) and, as two introverts who had previously lived alone for well over a decade, feel better knowing that we each have - to quote Virginia Woolf - "a room of one's own."