As a mom, not a dad, I have nothing to add to this discussion, but I just had to say that your daughter is so stinkin' cute!

Richard--you & your nugget are adorable!

nugget ... that's cute.

We had a couple of Dad's in our playgroup (I am a Mom). They were no different than the moms ... we're all just trying to make it through with a little sanity left over.

I'm neither a parent or a playgroup sponser. I hope you get lots of good feedback. I do ahve to wonder though why you were surprised that there isn't many Daddy playgroups or that you were the only Dad.

Statistically women have always been paid less then men therefore they're the legitimate choice to stay home with a child. I think this is changing slightly but the reality is that there will always be a huge skew due to who is the main income earner in the family.

I would say that there is probably a 90%(women) to 10% (men) split and that wont greatly change until the work place realizes women deserve the same type of salary their counterpart gets for doing the exact same job.

I can't suggest much because I'm neither a Mom or Dad however I am female! I just want to applaude you for taking that step in ensuring your little 'nugget' was well socialized. She's darling..looks like a little elf. Good Luck..I hope more Dad's chime in here.

I'm not a dad, but for the past few years I've been one of the only women in my small slice of a male-dominated industry. Many days I was the only woman. It was uncomfortable at first, but I think fighting gender stereotypes is always a good thing, and both sides of the equation benefit. You get used to the setup after a while anyway, and despite my undying love for When Harry Met Sally, I think men and women can be friends without consequence. Or at least they can work together or hang out in their kids' playgroups.

I don't have kids but...

I'm a gal and most of my career has been spent in a very male-dominated/centric environment. 8 hours/day. 5/days a week. Sometimes 12 hrs/day. 7/days a week.

I think it's a very healthy thing to be in situations where you're a participatory minority in an active group.

Good job dad ! Are you planning staying at home for while more with your cutie pie ?

My husband took a couple months off and was always doing stuff with the kids ! (they don't go to daycare) My next door neighboor is a stay at home dad aswell !

Hi Richard, My first suggestion would be to find out if your neighborhood has an online parenting group. In example. Williamsburg (Brooklyn), There is a Yahoo group called Baby Hui. Btw, I am a mom, but, that is how i found out about story time at the library, music classes, and play groups. My point is for the most part there was always a mix, mostly moms and nannies but a least a handful of dads as well. Hope this helps..

I have similar feelings when groups of interior bloggers gather.

I've got to say, I have playgroup envy! I am a mom who has given up on finding a playgroup because the ones I've tried are "mom-only" and they feel like high school all over again. I think it's great that you found a supportive group of parents, even if they are all women :)

I know it's hard. My husband is a stay at home dad, and he has the same problem. I would guess it wouldn't be as hard in a larger town, but living in a smaller town, there really isn't anything for him either. My sister is a stay at home mom and has 4 playgroups a week, and my husband doesn't go to any. We have looked and looked. I think part of it is there aren't as many stay at home dads, but really, I think there are becoming more and more. I also think a part of it is, play groups don't seem to be something dads are really thrilled to do, so there aren't any out there willing to start one. We have spent all this time looking for something, I never thought of starting our own, maybe that is where we will need to go. I bet there are more stay at home dads out there wanting a play group than we think, we may just have to start creating them. If we build it, they will come!

Adorable man and adorable little girl!

I'm sorry I don't have much to add to the conversation, but I just have to say, that hat on that adorable munchkin is the cutest thing I have seen all day!

But, raetemp, I think the point of the post is that he found he had more in common with the moms than he expected, so it worked out fine for him. Has your husband tried any of the playgroups to see what they're like? He may find they're more welcoming than he expects.

Why is this on Apartment Therapy? This seems to have exactly zero to do with home design.

@SDAZZLE - because this site is about designing your life, too. Seriously, the stuff we put into our homes affect us less than the decisions we make for ourselves and our families. Do you complain about all of the home organization tips, too?

@STH yes, he has tried to go to some of the library story times where there are all moms and has felt not included. He has gone to more than one, he still goes so the kids can socialize, but it isn't as social as he would like it to be for him. He hasn't gone to what is considered an actual "playgroup" though, and it is hard to convince him to try. I'll ask him to read this post, maybe he'll be willing to give it another shot just knowing there are others out there like him and it isn't so bad :)

Your daughter is a lucky girl. My husband was a college professor who chose to teach in the evenings so he could spend the day at home with our baby daughter. (I worked traditional (9-5) This lasted off and on for about six years. Daughter is now 22, an independent, strong girl who has healthy, rewarding relationships/friendships with men - and an exceptionally good relationship with her dad. They're child/parent, but also friends. They totally understand one another, get each other's humor and moods. I really do believe those years with just dad have a lot to do with it.

@sdazzle, because OHDEEDOH got combined in with the rest of the AT, now under the heading "Family". Seriously, we go through this every time there's a parenting post. If you don't like the family posts, don't read them!

I'm a dad and was a stay-at-home dad to our two foster boys for quite a while. I totally feel you on this post. What part of the country do you live in? I'm in Chicago, and I think being in a metropolitan area lends itself to quite a few stay-at-home dads, actually. I never actually joined a playgroup or anything of the sort, but I know there were some out there. I did take our kids to a local Children's Museum nearly every day over the winter months as a chance to get out of the house a bit, and I encountered quite a few dads. I also tried to schedule some playdates with other stay-at-home dads (and moms, too, of course). Definitely helps not to be the only male at the party.

I am a mom and also on the board of the foundation that sponsors our local playgroup and other family oriented events. We are a small town (think less than 2k people), so having anything for families is huge. We average about 8 families a week and most of the time it is just moms. There are about 3 dads who have come in the past, but they are not regulars, although they fully participate when they come! I, personally, love when they come because it shows the other kids that dads do the "playgroup" thing too! Keep it up, your daughter will love these memories with you (once she's old enough to have them) and I'm sure your actions speak volumes to the other families too!

I'm a stay at home dad. My wife makes more than I do and I got laid off a year and a half ago, right before our son was born. I love every minute of it, but I am also looking at finding a play group. I take Alexander and our two labs to the park every morning. There are usually 5 or 6 people there with up to 15 dogs. Alexander has a great time with all of the dogs and I get a social time as well.

When your daughter is older, I bet the options will expand as you can start participating in more activity oriented groups, including on weekends. When my daughter hit one, we signed her up for a Saturday "kindergym" class because friends with a boy a year older were going. She loves it and it is FULL of fathers (who, granted, may be involved on the weekend precisely because they're NOT free during the week). Although the parents are not particularly social during the class I could imagine striking up conversations and finding out whether any of the dads are primary caregivers and networking your own co-ed group that way. As far as socializing your baby goes, babies' peer interaction is so primitive at that age that we all have a better time with people who are actually friends, regardless of their kids' ages, than with a random assortment who are linked only by their children's birthdates.

My husband plans to stay home with the baby once we are able to have one (almost did a couple months ago, but it didn't work out...). A couple of the girls I work with have stay at home husbands as well, so we've joked that we should start a play group for all of them and the babies!

i'm a stay-at-home dad, and i can empathize. no luck in our city (of 100k) finding any dad groups. i think i've bumped into one other SAHD at a playground, but he wasn't eager to chat. i've basically given up on mom groups, as the few that i've inquired about would have required my wife to attend every once in a while (what?).

i love love love it when someone asks us, "So, out with dad today, huh?". that's right- today and every day, lady! ugh.

so, we two have a good time and i use role playing a lot to teach social skills. my son has his friends and i'm hoping we'll move closer to family in a short while.

I'm a work at home Dad, but since a lot of my job can be done in the evening I find myself out with my daughter in a lot of similar situations. We're not in a play group, but I do take her to a music class every Friday morning with a bunch of other kids and it's almost exclusively moms (a dad will pop in now and then, and there's now one grandfather who comes regularly). I definitely had some hesitation the first few times - I'd have to sing, dance and act silly around all of these women? - but I think the common bond of being parents supersedes all of that weirdness I worried about at first.

Plus I appreciate that the music teacher bothers to change the lyrics to her songs to include "mommies... and daddies" when the time comes.

Enjoyed this post!

Have to chime in – cute lil kiddo, and cute dad, too!
There's a few stay-at-home dads I know here in San Francisco, but this generally is a more mixed bag when it comes to parenting, anyways.

I think the Swedish model where both parents get (mandatory?) paid parenting leave is genious. It's good for both parents to bond with the kid(s).

My husband took paternity leave with our first and stayed at home with her for 6 months. He says it was by far the best experience ever. While he didn't join any Dad groups, he just talked to his friends who had kids and go together with them and their kids (and still does) whenever they get a chance. And don't feel intimated by "mom groups". Let me tell you, without sounding catty, it would be refreshing to have some Dad's to meet up with for, forgive the annoying word, playdates. Having a male parenting perspective is great in those situations!

lots of guys at our playgroup, but I agree with the others. It's important to keep going when you're in these situations, if only to break ground for those who come behind you.

There's a very funny/witty/dry humour blog from a Stay at home Melbourne Dad that is worth reading.
http://www.reservoirdad.com/
Hope you enjoy.

I'm not a dad, but as a nanny I still haven't been able to find a playgroup that feels comfortable. I've been to two in the local area, and the parents in both weren't very welcoming. I overheard one woman say to another that she didn't understand why I was there, because what could I bring to the group and how could I possibly relate? Another woman invited all the other children in the group, except for my charge, to her daughter's birthday. But there were a fair number of dads in each one! Maybe a ratio of 5 mums to 1 Dad. I think SAHDs are more common in Australia? I find swimming lessons/music classes are much more enjoyable both for me and for my charge... for some reasons the parents at these classes are much more friendly!

I am a SAHM, and when my kids were little I ended up making friends with a SAHD who had a girl my daughter's age. (Our kids were taking a class together at a local preschool). His daughter and mine played very nicely together, so I made sure to include him in every playdate that I organized. Because he was so friendly and outgoing, and because he never let on if he felt awkward, he was soon included in every playdate that any of my friends organized too, and now he knows WAY more people in town than I do. I think that being friendly is the key - whether you're a man or a woman. In the end, we're just parents who want to get our kids together to play. And if the topic turns to breastfeeding, you can always contribute your perspective on your partner's experience. I'm sorry that it seems to make you feel awkward to be the only man in the playgroup, and I'm sorry that you are having trouble finding other SAHDs. But if that doesn't change, please know that, at least from my experience, the other moms and I didn't care that he was a dad. He was just a nice person to hang out with while the kids played together.

Hell, I'm a SAHM and have yet to find a playgroup that works for us (too clique-y usually). That's great that you found one! I'm sure your daughter is loving having you around all the time.

I agree with u guys being also a stay and working part time at home dad myself. Eventually I need to work in future to ease our burden of living expenses, so day care will be the reasonable choice. My baby is only 9 months old, so too early into public day care and not so urgent to hire private nanny. Better time to send child to day care is when she can walk and get along with other kids. Indeed being a man acting silly and singing lullaby to a baby is unusual. Besides shopping trips and meals, we haven't taken baby outside of home much. That leaves baby shy and she cries when strangers suddenly jump in front. Even the baby will cry or simply be scared and stare at others at start, we need to continue to let her get used to outside environments more. Inside large shopping malls, there are some free to go kids playground, and same for large McDonalds. Not sure about your area, but these playgrounds I've seen don't always have mostly moms inside. During the weekends, more likely both moms and dads will participate also.
Suggested by friends, this is an organized, clean play ground. see if this is located near by: gymboreeclasses.com

Thanks for all of the positive vibes and suggestions. To answer a few questions, I am a full-time SAHD who works on some weekends and writes in the evenings. I forgot to include that my location is fairly rural and population sparse, so I didn't really expect to find an all-dad playgroup, nor was I surprised when I discovered I was the only dad on that first day at group. It is still a rarity, especially around here. But I do feel lucky that I found a group that is completely open and supportive, and would encourage anyone of any gender to keep looking until you find one because once you do, it is a rewarding experience. And the point I make about our common ground far outweighing any differences caused by gender, which has been echoed by a number of comments above, is really the main idea I was trying to get across.
And thanks for the kind words about my daughter. Yeah, I think she looks ridiculously cute in that red furry elvish balaclava too.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, but we don't have formalized play groups here in France. We meet randomly at the park every now and then, and I like it better that way.

I LOVE it when there are dads at the park, primarily because they seem to be the only ones who can talk about something else than kids. And even if it's kid-related, I love the conversations so much more. I had the most interesting talk with a dad the other day about passing on your passions to your kids without forcing them. He is a stage-actor and had a fascinating point of view. And we ended up sharing our passion for Proust.

I'm sick and tired of typical "mommy" conversations. Seriously, who can talk 30 minutes about poop ? If breastfeeding is a problem, call the Leache Leage or something. I guess fathers are in general much more inclined to see the big picture in kids, even if they are stay-at-home dads. They also tend not to abandon what they loved for their kids; as I'm the same, having continued to pursue my former non-professional activities, I find we have more in common.

This is of course an over-generalized view based on my personal experience. Gender counts in education, and it's a good thing that fathers and mothers don't bring the same thing to their kids. I just could do without some of the mother's over-anxiety and expectations of perfection.

Good for you! I have been trying to organize a Dad's group for my husband. In addition to not wanting to attend playgroups as a male, I find that it's even harder for him to find friends who are also Dads. With or even without kids - I think it would be nice for a bunch of Dads to be able to get together. It sometimes frustrates me how Dads get so little credit for their involvement with their children. There are times when my husband takes the baby to the restroom at a restaurant to change his diaper only to return to the table and inform me that the baby-changing station is only in the women's room. WHAT?! Every time we encounter that, I talk to the manager. But anyway ... maybe ask the women in your group if their counterparts would like to have their own get-togethers and lead the way? That's just an idea. Good luck!

Hello

Congrats. I was a stay at home dad for two boys under 3 for approx. 3 years. It was at first an adjustment - however - it turned out better than I expected. When I first approached the moms groups that my wife had previously joined - it was a little awkward. When the play date was at a person's home - i learned to never arrive first - the women became uncomfortable (at first) and I learned through the grapevine that one woman was afraid her husband would become jealous. My sons and I visted probably every museum in the bay area and probably every playground. When my oldest started sschool - I felt a little empty and really missed him. After 7 years back in the work force - I recently got downsized and my wife has gone back to work. I am back in the same place I was - however one is in 7th grade and the other is in 4th.

@SDAZZLE It's a valid question. I preferred having Ohdeeoh as a separate site (and I have a kid). I don't understand why people take comments like these so personally.

That girl is so cute. I love your post. Simply, admirable what you have done here. It is fabulous to see you verbalize from the heart and your clarity on this significant subject can be easily seen. Fantastic post and will look forward to your incoming update.
Regards
Kindergarten School

There is a great Dad's play group at Moma's Hip in Louisville, KY. Good luck finding one in your area!!