I've done it in the car, at a party and even on Christmas Eve while my whole family waited downstairs. No matter how much I prepare, I always wind up wrapping presents at the last minute. It happens that way with most of my holiday plans; I start strong out of the gate but by mid-December, my holiday enthusiasm has begun to wane.
For a few weeks, being over-scheduled and overtaxed feels exciting, a whirlwind of activity. Suddenly, the sparkly curtain falls away to reveal a lot of to-dos that haven't been done, and the entire holiday begins to just feel like...well, like work.
I wouldn't call it the blues necessarily, more like the mean reds and greens. There are the obligatory parties that you'd really rather skip and the grueling travel days to get somewhere you might not even want to go. Between holiday stress and family squabbles, this time of year can be a real minefield, compounded by the fact that you're "supposed" to feel merry and thankful 24/7. It's enough to make anyone snap.
So what do you do when you feel a Scrooge moment coming on? Deep breaths are good; a bath is nice. But allow me to propose a simple idea that may very well change your life: say no. "I'm sorry, former co-worker's cousin, I can't make it to your party that night. Thanks very much for the kind invitation."
We all have obligations and commitments, but I suspect that, like me, you're not always as "obligated" as you think. I often feel so tightly wound that every task, every invitation feels like a challenge in a game of "how to do and be everything while wearing a cute outfit." But games are supposed to be fun, remember?
Peace on Earth? Maybe that peace should begin with your calendar and your credit card bill. For many, the holidays are a wonderful time to lavish expensive gifts and cook ten-course meals, but they don't have to be. It's okay to let some things fall by the wayside and focus your time and energy on the things you really do cherish and love about the holidays. You have permission; I'm giving it to you right now.
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I am burnt out too. We are Indians, so it started for us from October, then after a month long festivities, Halloween, and then the big move.
So, now, this holiday, since we are so tired, and so broke, we just have the smallest Christmas tree for the kid, a gingerbread man to decorate. Santa she says can bring whatever he wants.
I am just going to "hang", as they say in America, with my dearest and nearest.
Amen, few if any people invite you to their parties with the goal of making you miserable. Most Christmas traditions were intended just to be optional fun activities. If a tradition no longer is fun for you, then just say no promptly and politely, and let it go.
How to Stay Sane & Enjoy the Holidays: Stay the hell out of malls. That is all.
Thank you, Jennifer. I found this truly helpful.
Being six months pregnant, I'm sort of taking Christmas "off" this year. It's nice to be able to whip that out as the ultimate excuse whenever necessary. I do still find myself getting sucked in; I ordered Christmas cards last night while hyperventilating about how late I am in doing so. But I'm mostly succeeding at chilling out.
We still put up a tree and our usual decorations, but we're not having our big annual house party and taking it easy on the gift list. Most of our holiday cheer has been in the form of hot chocolate on the couch.
I decided the gifts and brunch I planned for friends can wait til January. I think we'll all appreciate it a little more then AND it will take the edge off the post-Christmas letdown.
I definitely agree that saying "no" to certain things is the best way to go.
My former employer usually had 2-3 Xmas parties per year; I would only go to one.
The 'like' button! Where's the darn 'like' button??? Thank you. I know work-a-holics and holiday-a-holics that do nothing but complain about how much they're "accomplishing" this season. I want to hit them with a big pillow that bears the classic slogan, "Just Say No."
One thing that helps me feel less stressed is making a budget gift purchases. I write a list of the people closest to me and an amount for how much I'd like to spend on each of them. If I add everything up and its more than I can afford I start to subtract a little here and there from each person's gift allotment. Then I make it a challenge to find something in that price range! It sounds very obsessive to track individual gifts... but it really helps me to not overspend! The extra effort is totally worth it because I'm not hit with surprises when the credit card bill rolls in.
I pared down the people on my gift-giving list a few years ago. The people on it include those who gave birth to me, those I gave birth to, and anyone I'm spending Christmas day with. This year I'm happily adding those who married someone I gave birth to. I also minimize the decorating if I'm not going to be at my house on Christmas day. I used to literally make myself sick every year running around trying to get everything done.
I work in advertising, which means "thinking about the holidays" usually starts in, oh, August for me. However, it can be a boon ... thinking about it that early means I can usually be done with gift shopping and planning before Thanksgiving. Then in December, it's just about the cooking, having fun, and being with loved ones (and the occasional obligated ones). Make no mistake, I will still have at least one massive meltdown — but having a game plan in place way early means the chaos is somewhat minimized.
I worked for a popular doll company for 13 years. My favorite day of the season was January 2.
This year I'm remembering to lower my expectations of everyone else. Who cares if my co-workers forgot the cookie exchange or it's Christmas day and my mom didn't bother to vacuum. At least they're not stressed out and stressing me out. :)
Simplify, simplify, simplify. If you're feeling overwhelmed, cut out non-essentials. If you're still feeling stressed, reevaluate what is "essential."
Re: not going to the mall - I agree. However, trying to make things also stresses me out!
Yeah, I really wanted to make a wall quilt for my honey for Xmas, but I got to the point where all it was doing was stressing me out. I put it away until after Xmas, and suddenly I'm enjoying the season again.
well said. i try to make a distinction between how all the advertising is trying to make me feel, and the real way i want to celebrate the holidays. and sometimes, that means becoming a holiday hermit. loud and proud.
my eyes popped open pretty big reading that first sentence. then i got to the second and was like "OH ! wrapping presents" XD