Is seeing someone's ass in spilled wine really relevant to this post?

Money in an envelope=tacky. Etiquette would suggest that when one sends a thank you note, for the lovely dinner, one would also perhaps include a gift card to Macy's or whatever other local or nearby retailer might sell Riedel or other glassware that may have been broken.

Treat people as you would want to be treated - if it was your wine glass, wouldn't you appreciate the gesture? Of course.

If it was a fancy/expensive glass, then I would make the effort -- especially if my friends were the kind of people who pay attention to stuff like that (having a full set of nice crystal...). I don't know if it's necessary, but otherwise I'd feel awkward. If I couldn't find the exact glass, then I'd get a single elegant fun glass... to remember their clumsy friend.

Mmm, no, I wouldn't leave money. As King of Arcadia said, its tacky.

Broken wine glasses are one of those things that 'just happen,' so my decision to replace (or not) would depend on how nice the glass was. If it were a cheap glass, I probably wouldn't replace it, unless tipping my glass meant breaking three or four others. If it were a $50 fancy crystal wine goblet, I'd definitely offer to replace it, or send my hosts a gift card.

Wow, Rebecca_J I just noticed that subliminal image after I read your post. I forgot about that kinda stuff. They used to do it so much more in pictures with ice and water. I remember we had this whole class on it in college, and the examples were amazing. But yes, looking at that now, the image seems kinda tacky for AT.

I'd offer to replace it if I were the guest, although, as the hostess, I would never expect anyone to do so. Glass is fragile. Sometimes it breaks.

Apparently naked chicks break, too, as illustrated in the stock image used for this article?

I think it depends on how well you know the person, and how your relationship is to them: If it's a good friend, and she says it's okay, then it's okay. If it's at a formal party at my work colleague's house, and I don't get to see them very often, I would send flowers, wine or chocolate.

Personally, I think those things happen, whether it was me who broke the glass and spilled the red wine all over my white carpet, or if it was someone else. It would not be a problem. I would expect an apology and the offer to help clean it up from someone else though. Replacing would not be neccessary. And while flowers would be really nice, I would not expect them.

@Rebecca_J: Nice catch on the hidden naked lady in photo! Is this subliminal content supposed to make the topic sexier?

Gift cards are just as awkward as cash. The polite thing to do is present your friend with a new glass if it's something fancy.

Me, I only use Ikea wine glasses when I entertain. We own some fancy $50 crystal goblets, but never use them for just this reason. (I'd actually love to get rid of them, but they were a gift.)

Yeah, strangest photo choice ever.

Regardless of the price, replace it, send to the hosts home as a gift, don't make them go shopping to get a new one. Accompany with a thank you note for the raucous time ; )!

Are you kidding? Leaving money is so tacky - whether you know the person well or practically not at all. I would either attempt to replace it (if it were one that was purchased recently / that I could source) or I'd send a note of apology after. Oh, and next time I visited, if I couldn't find the replacement, I'd bring a pair of new wine glasses. One would be odd out, but 2 could be used eclectically with other glasses.

Ha! I didn't even notice the naked person in the picture until other people brought it up in the comments...I wonder if Lindsey did?

Haha, totally tacky tacky picture.

I would definitely replace the glass unless the host was totally adamant that I was being ridiculous. In that case, then flowers, gift card, invite to dinner, whatever, would be appropriate.

Plenty of kitchenware has been chipped and broken during parties at my house...never crossed my mind that this is anything other than the occasional cost of entertaining, responsibility of the host.

And srsly, tacky picture.

Leaving money is like putting a $50 on the nightstand. Send another glass or two, if you're a big spender or have access to wholesale.

I would be embarrassed as a guest if I broke a glass, but I would be much more embarrassed as a host if everyone made a big fuss over it. This sort of thing should be tidied up quickly, and then discussed after dinner if necessary.

I think the best gesture is definitely to ask your host politely if they'll allow you to purchase another glass. If they say no, don't go rogue and try to purchase it yourself- you'll get the wrong thing, and that won't solve any problems. If they decline, I'd just put together a nice gift and a note that's polite and humorous (like an odd number of dessert plates and a note reading: "an extra in case you invite me over to help you break them in").

Also: She's not naked... she's wearing heels!

Nope, wine glasses break, it comes with the territory of serving wine. They're fragile, and basically it's expected that they'll break.

I've had plenty broken, and that's why I use inexpensive glasses. I heard an interview on Fresh Air with the couple that does the wine reviews for the WSJ and they suggest getting inexpensive glasses that you know you can replace.

If someone serves wine in a really expensive glass in a large social situation they're being foolish - those should be saved for special, and relatively safer, times.

yes, don't like the picture.

we typically ask what the pattern and type is and then order it through replacements.com unfortunately my husband has broken many glasses

If you break a wine glass at my house, I'd be far more happy if you jump in immediately to mop up the carpet and call me over so I can spay some carpet cleaner on it. Forget the glass. All of mine either came from Ikea and cost just a few bucks or are inherited from family and sentimentally priceless (we don't use those for company, usually). My security deposit and my rug, on the other hand, are worth a lot more.

Lisa (Montreal) If you don't like them anyway, who cares if they break!
This is coming from a total hypocrite who just broke one of her own family inherited crystal goblets, but this post made me feel better about that despite the cheesy photo, lol

Lisa (Montreal), I think using the glasses you don't like at parties is the perfect solution--they're bound to be broken and then you're off the hook.

If it's an inexpensive Target or Ikea glass I probably won't replace it--just a note and a small token next time. For nicer glasses I agree that a replacement is called for. A pair of comparable quality if I can't find an exact replacement.

Accidents happen... to everyone, close friends, co-workers, friends of friends. Breaking it is it embarassing enough to me. I don't want someone to leave with a bill!!

I agree with travislessness: if you serve wine, you will eventually end up with broken glasses. You'll probably see some stained carpet, too.

It's ultra-tacky for a host to expect a guest to replace a broken glass- no matter what the value. If you can't live with the broken glass (or dish) you shouldn't serve guests with it.

And... if you get upset over the loss of a glass just because of the price (no sentimental value, no collector's value, just an expensive piece) then you probably shouldn't have wasted your money in the first place.

A memory I still cringe at -- I hadn't seen my best friend for a few years, and when I arrived at her beautiful house, she threw her arms around me, and I threw my arms around her. Unfortunately, on one of my arms was a heavy piece of luggage carried by a long strap. It made a clean sweep of the top row of her antique netsuke collection.

As the precious collection shattered on the floor, my friend gaily cried: "Oh, it's just breakage central around here!" (That's why I love her so much. Still, I died inside.)

I brooded about it for years. As a single mom on a very limited income, I couldn't replace one genuine netsuke, much less the five or six pieces I had decimated.

Enough time went by, and both our fortunes changed. No, I never bought her replacement netsuke. But when illness struck her and then her companion (both recovered though one is disabled); and then her son faced serious underserved trouble, I was in the picture day to day though I lived far away. Cards, letters, phone calls, consultations with professionals, supportive advice.

The netsuke wreckage has been long forgiven and forgotten. The friendship is closer than ever.

One more instance: my father's new wife visited my apartment for the first time. Prior to her marriage, she had not traveled widely. She inadvertently broke a Nile green Japanese teapot that I had treasured for several decades. It had been bought in my salad days, and I would never spend that kind of money for a teapot now. When the teapot crashed to the floor, my father's wife dissolved into humiliated tears. I put my arms around her, and said: "Here, people matter more than things. It hurts me more to see you cry than to lose the teapot."

Moral of the story -- if it's expensive and you don't want it broken, put it out of harm's way. If you have a friend who is habitually breaking wine glasses, don't use the Riedel when he or she comes over, or stage an intervention.

It's in the nature of glassware to be broken. I have a set of tiny cut-glass cordial glasses with ruby red bases. There are only five. I often wonder at what occasion in the last 120 years the sixth was broken, and what the people did to mend their social circle.

I'd offer to replace it. But if the host(ess) said not to worry about it, I'd respect that, and probably send them an apology note later and maybe a gift card or something. And definitely clean up the mess or pay to have it cleaned if it's not something I could fix myself.

Why would you treat a friend with less courtesy than a retail store? "You break it, you bought it". Of course I would replace anything I broke, even if it meant taking out a loan (ala netsukes).

I buy 10 packs of wine glasses from Kmart and no one can tell the difference, especially when we use nice china. If you are going to do something, I say try to replace the glass on replacements.com or just send a nice gift card. People think gift cards are awkard but if you are a person that actually uses them it's great for dinner out or a special pick me up. I do think cash is an envelope is tacky.

So I was at someone's house for dinner, and two of the wine glasses were the Riedel (I think) really break-resistant ones. I was using one, and of course decided along with the other lucky guest that we just had to test them. We clinked them together, harder and harder, until, of course, one shattered all over the table. Duh. I went to Sur La Table and got another one.

I think it's the height of tackiness to expect a guest to replace a broken glass. In fact, I would be embarassed if someone tried to buy me a new one, or felt somehow indebted for having made an easy mistake. It's also tacky to use things that are so beyond your means that a guest would be expected to replace it b/c you can't afford to yourself.

If it was good crystal, I would quietly find out what it was, and replace it. I would apologize profusely, but not let on that I was planning to replace it.

Regular glass is no big deal -- I might send over a bottle of wine though.

Wow, I'm glad I'm not in the same social circle as many of the commenters on this post! The way I see it, wine glasses are fragile things that tend to be broken, and it's not like a pricey glass makes the wine taste any better. I see wine glasses as practically disposable, and tend to buy a bunch when I find them on sale. But most glasses in my house are seen as disposable, because I have dogs with sweeping tails who have swiped many a glass off a coffee table. I would NEVER expect a friend to replace a broken wineglass. Things like that just happen, and I value relationships over things.

im suprised so many people considered gift cards awkward. if im the host, i think i prefer a gift card over a mismatching wine glass. actually, i also use cheap wine glasses from ikea. I can always replace them as they keep breaking. if i broke something and the host says its ok, i'll respect that and probably send a bottle of wine as gift.

What great kindness and generosity of spirit expressed in AustinSarah's comment. Thanks for the lift. :)

As a host, I think it's tacky to expect anything other than politeness and civility from a guest, especially if they're a friend. Glasses break, wine spills, it's not a big deal. As a guest, if I break something in someone elses house I should clean up after myself and ask about the broken object after the dinner. As a good host they should tell me to forget about it, as a good guest I owe them a gift, like a nice bottle of wine or chocolates or something, and certainly a reciprocal invitation to my home. I just think monetary gifts, or things like gift cards with obvious monetary value, are always awkward.

that's a werid picture.
i think you let people use your glasses expect that one COULD bet broken. nobody's perfect.

a good host should be more concerned about helping the embarrassed guest get past the awkward moment gracefully and good guests shouldn't be making the situation worse by insisting on paying for an accidentally broken glass

I wouldn't try to replace the glass because it's obviously something the host/hostess picked out and they would have a much easier time replacing it. I would probably try to send some small gift or bring something they like that can be used up (candy, wine, collection of lotions or soaps, etc) next time I'm there.

Wow Lindsey! You really seem to have hit a hot button about what a guest should do. One time a guest at my house broke a brand new crystal wine glass of ours. I bit my tongue and said "Oh, please don't worry about it!". After all, it's just a glass.

Hello everyone, Lindsey writing. I absolutely did not notice the naked woman in the photo and apologize! I got a good laugh out of it, and I hope you do too!

I reserve the expensive glassware for myself or for intimate get-togethers...
...for my big cocktail bashes, It's the cheap glassware from the Restaurant Supply store.

I really doubt I'd know whether a glass was a cheapie or expensive. Maybe my youth is showing, but it seems like a broken glass is often a sign of a good party (and sometimes inevitable, when booze is involved), and most hosts should think twice about serving in anything that would put them out, financially, to replace. I've never been offered money for a broken glass (even Riedels), nor would I have taken any. I'm not always thrilled about glasses or dishes breaking, but I'm more concerned about the mess – and guests too rude to offer help cleaning up – than replacing them.

Also, add me to the list of people put off by that photo. It looks like a bad collage form the '80s.

If you manage to break a glass, immediately say, "Oh I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot! Was it expensive? I'll get you another one!"

If your host has any class at all, he/she will say, "Don't be silly, it was just an accident."

Then later in the evening, approach your host when he/she is alone and quietly ask for the name of the glass so that you can replace it. If he/she really wants the glass replaced, he/she will find a way to mention where you can get another one, in between protests that it isn't necessary. But if he/she still refuses to say where it came from, you're off the hook. Do not press him/her. The only thing worse than a clumsy guest is a guest who refuses one's gift of forgiveness.

I'd definitly have to say, if it weren't too expensive, I would feel less obligated to replace it. However, if it WERE expensive, I would most definitely INSIST that I replace it. It's just tacky and rude not to, even if they "say" it's not necessary. I'm not made of money, but I'm guessing the host isn't either! If you put someone else out $50, it's just the kind thing to do!

As a hostess, I wouldn't expect a guest to replace it.

As a guest, I would absolutely try to replace it, esp. if it was a special pattern, etc.

My friend bought me martini glasses for my birthday, incl. one extra. She said she always buys one spare, so you won't be crushed if one gets broken, and can sincerely assure guests it isn't a problem. Now, I always do the same.

Also, naked woman in the picture is not cool. I didn't notice it as first, and apparently the author didn't either, but now that it's been pointed out, why wasn't the photo replaced????? I have seen updated photos on other posts on AT, please do the same for this post, and use a more appropriate photo.

Also, naked woman in the picture is not cool. I didn't notice it as first, and apparently the author didn't either, but now that it's been pointed out, why wasn't the photo replaced?????

Because then half of this thread wouldn't make sense.

I think you should always use inexpensive wine glasses so that no one (neither you nor your guest) feels rotten when the inevitable happens and a glass is broken. I think that's new good etiquette!

Off topic, but I only saw the 'naked lady' after staring at the picture for about 6 minutes - lighten up, people!

And if you're going to be soo upset at someone breaking a glass, either use cheaper glasses or don't invite anyone to your house. Seems like a non-issue.

We were at a neighbor's house a couple of years ago and the neighbor rested her glass precariously on the edge of the counter behind my husband. He didn't see it and knocked it right off the edge. Was it really his fault. No. But we felt really bad and they were sort of weird about it, so I found out (not by asking the neighbor) what kind of glass and ordered one (about $50). When it came in the mail I took it over. Never a thank-you. Nothing verbal. Nothing in writing. No acknowledgement whatsoever. I really don't know how to take that.

When things like that have happened at my house I go out of my way to make them feel at ease about it and I let them know that accidents happen. Why would you use nice glasses if you're going to get mad when things happen. And why have nice things if you never use them.

I'm glad none of my friends own anything too expensive. How much fun can you have if you're worried that you might break a crystal goblet?

That's why I only go to parties where they serve mystery punch from tupperware tubs. Classy.