Hey, I have the same tablecloth. But I use it for Christmas.

My advice? Don't try to be Martha Stewart.

Enlist help, don't cook anything people don't want to eat no matter how "traditional" it is, make sure there is something FOR everyone to eat (including the visiting vegan girfriend) and after that, relax! Nobody will care if your napkins are steel gray or white (or paper!) Nobody will care (or maybe even notice) that you kill yourself over details. So just do what makes you happy and comfortable, and don't let stress ruin the day!

I've hosted before, and thought I did pretty well. My mantra this year, though, is to be Low-Key. I'm telling guests that I'll do the turkey, they can bring whatever they want, and I'll "fill in the gaps". I figure I'll know about a week before what those "gaps" are and I'll just roll with it. I already know someone is bringing stuffing, pumpkin pie, and homemade bread.

I think the most important thing when hosting is to just relax, drink wine, and savor the fun.

My first Thanksgiving we were in a rented house, and found out as I was putting the stuffed turkey into the supposed preheated oven that it was broken!
First, recover from heart attack. Then move on to Plan B: Unstuff the turkey, carve it into pieces, and cook on the Little Smokey barbeque. Untraditional, but better than any turkey we'd ever had before.

My 1st hosting for Thanksgiving was as a new military bride shortly after 9-11. I made the whole traditional dinner from scratch for over 30 single soldiers in my tiny kitchen. (the oven door actually touched the cupboards on the other side)

The unit was in charge of gate security and the commander let them all come and eat in shifts. For many it was their 1st real holiday away from family and were so grateful, it was humbling. I've hosted many much more extravagant (and better tasting) meals since that one..but that one will always one of the closest to my heart and in the truest spirit of Thanksgiving.

Set the table the day before, if you dont have one set up and obvious bar area with wine glasses, beer glasses, bottle openers, non alcho options etc somewhere guests can easily serve themselves.

Consider food you can prep ahead of time and just heat and serve. Or - My moms best recipe for dessert - Place peeled pears and red wine in slow cooker, leave for 6 hours. Serve with cream or ice cream. Perfection.

Annie from "Annie's Eats" is doing a Thanksgiving prep series, which starts here: http://annies-eats.com/2010/11/01/thanksgiving-prep-series-part-1/. She's a ridiculously awesome planner, so reading through her suggestions are very helpful.

I'd also suggest having fun with the process. Put on a cute movie/upbeat music while you cook. Get friends and family involved in the kitchen. The more it feels like a fun event, the less it will feel like a huge challenge.

The first Thanksgiving I prepared was for my in-laws. I not only planned my menu out weeks in advance, I mapped out timing and coordination of what to make when - too bad I didn't know to cover the turkey...took twice as long to cook. Everyone ended up super drunk from all wine we drank while waiting and waiting for the damn bird to bake. By the time it was finally ready everyone was on the verge of passing out and stuffed from eating all the side dishes and dessert.

@orly - I wish there was a "Like"...no, "LOVE" button for your post!

Don't try to carve the turkey on a crowded table with everyone watching. Present the perfectly roasted fowl to the guests, collect your 'oohs' and 'aahs,' then whisk it back to the kitchen or a sideboard for butchering. If you're really clever you can enlist your tea trolley or bar cart to wheel around the table, carving to order at each guest's place.

@orly - thanks for sharing. awesome story.

This probably won't work for many people, especially those who are apartment dwellers (unless you have a large balcony/patio), but we have found the easiest way to host Thanksgiving (or any other large holiday meal) is to cook (or maybe technically smoke?) the turkey (or ham or whatever) on the grill. We have a charcoal Weber and my husband uses a chimney and good lump charcoal. Keep it closed, use the remote grill thermometer to watch its temperature and it works great. That way, your oven is free to cook/bake any and all side dishes/breads/desserts as necessary without the stress of the turkey timing/space issue.

The first Thanksgiving my husband and I hosted was in 2007, and we've been doing it ever since. Our first one we had to borrow a ton of dishes from my mom (I ended up registering for a lot of the same stuff when we got married), as well as an extra table because there were 9 of us and a baby.

We always do the turkey and a number of other things, but also have people bring other dishes, including a "leftovers turkey" since most of the time the one turkey is not enough for everyone to take some home after the meal. We also have people bring their own Tupperware so they can take leftovers, and they don't disappear with all of your Tupperware.

I take the day before off to do a lot of my prep work, and also do a crazy house cleaning the weekend before (we have two cats and a few people who are allergic to cats), and then a basic cleaning the day of.

Buffet style makes things easy, especially if your table isn't big enough to hold everyone and all the food.

My first Thanksgiving in my new place, I was invited to a friend's apartment (she was also a single girl). It was a brilliantly windy day. As the vegetarian in the group, I was in charge of the vegetarian main dish. I made a pumpkin risotto which took me two days to make from scratch, including cutting up and cooking a whole pumpkin.

As I triumphantly stepped into the elevator with the covered dish and my pecan pies, a particularly strong gust of wind knocked out the power to my building. I don't know how many floors the elevator plummeted, but I was very grateful to the firefighters who broke the door open with axes to rescue me! Of course, I handed out the covered dishes before I got out of the elevator!

Best advice I've gotten for Thanksgiving (which I got from this website) was to make the mashed potatoes first thing in the morning, right after the turkey goes in the oven, and put them in a crock pot for the rest of the day. Not only does it keep them nice and warm, and cut down on last-minute prep just before dinner, but if you're like me and load up the spuds with cream, sour cream, butter, a little cream cheese, etc., the bottom of the crock pot will brown them slightly over the day and they'll take on a taste like twice baked potatoes, and it's HEAVENLY.

The other 'happy accident' I've found that works out really well is to (if possible) keep the turkey in the oven significantly longer than it takes to actually cook it, just at a slightly lower heat with plenty of basting and moisture. I cooked the bird almost 2X too long a couple of years back, and it was the most moist, tender, delicious turkey I and my guests ever had.

I second @Clairepetrol - we get the house cleaned and decorated the day before, down to the tiniest thing - the table being set and all the serving dishes we'll need set out, and everything chopped and pre-measured.

It was a post-baby measure we adopted, but it turns out not having the adrenaline-pumping whizzing around the house right before guests arrive makes for a great day.

Until we did that, I didn't actually realize that so much of the work of cooking is actually the setting up.

1. Brine the turkey the day before -- just put it in a big stock pot in the fridge with a simple salt/sugar brine. The turkey will be the best you ever ate.
2. Buy lots of baggies or containers to send home leftovers -- keep just enough for yourself. You'll be sick of it soon enough -- and if everyone has a couple of bags and helps themselves on the way out the door, it really aids in cleaning.
3. Cook an additional turkey breast if you have a big crowd -- this insures enough white meat turkey for leftovers for your sandwiches, when your guests wisk away all the other stuff.
4. Make as much as you can the night before and set the table. Stay up late, bake pies, prep stuffing and put it in the fridge. Ideally, you'll have everything done except the turkey and roasting veggies etc. So you get up at 10 am, pop the turkey in, and watch the macy's parade. when people show up at 2 or 3 or whenever you do this, you'll be relaxed and rested.
5. Invent a potent cocktail involving cranberries and call it Pilgrim's Pride. We have Pilgrims Pride every year but every year its different.
6. Go for a walk between dinner and dessert... lazy ones who choose not to walk can stay back and triage the kitchen.
7. Start dinner with a clean kitchen and empty dishwasher, if you have one.
8. Invite someone who would otherwise be alone on Thanksgiving. They'll bring all the gratitude you need.
pamh
howtorunyourlife.blogspot.com

On the first Thanksgiving my roommates and I hosted for our friends, we had seven people over and only two dining room chairs. We pulled in the desk chairs and slapped a piece of cloth over a chest to disguise it as a "bench". I had to run out and buy napkins on the day of. Everyone had a great time, though.

After a couple of years of hosting people, I found that it really wasn't necessary to make a huge meal. As long as we took care of the basics - the turkey, a veggie, a bread, an appetizer, drinks and a dessert, then we could get people to bring the rest. Guests like to bring something and help. You can let them help you cover all of the different traditional foods you like to have, while you make sure that you have at least a basic menu for your friends who are allergy prone, etc. When we made too many dishes, it just got overwhelming when the things everyone else brought were added.

Your napkin comment really made me chuckle - that's exactly what I do and it's great to know I'm not alone! Luckily the first Thanksgiving I hosted on my own was almost entirely stress-free (though maybe I didn't feel the pressure as much since I've only been living in the US for 5 years). I'd even managed to leave enough time to make a second carrot cake after the dog managed to get hold of the first one...

- Sharpen your knives, especially the carving knife, on the Sunday before.
- Whipped cream keeps beautifully for 36 hours.
- Have at least one task in mind for "please let me help you!" - it's a kindness to let others help, but if you are too focused on your schedule...
- Write out your seating and buffet cards in a leisurely and thoughtful way - not at 15 minutes before dinner!

My tips:

Get an oven thermometer, and test your oven now. When you use your oven to heat leftover pizza, a 50 degree or more variable doesn't matter. When you are cooking something for a long, long time, it's disastrous. A meat thermometer is also vital.

If you are cooking a turkey (remember, you don't have to! Roast beef is my family's favorite), cook it unstuffed. Cooking it stuffed increases the risk of food poisoning, and it drastically increases the time it takes for the bird to be done. Put the stuffing in a baking dish, heavily dot with butter, bake it for 40 minutes at 350, and it will be fabulous. You can do this while the turkey is resting, you're making the gravy, and getting all the food onto the table.

In the morning, put all the serving dishes you will be using on the table or buffet, and put a note inside that states what will be served in them. It's surprisingly easy to completely forget to serve a dish, and it will help your helpers help you.

Tip from the old Joy of Cooking: cover the turkey breast with several layers of cheesecloth heavily smeared with butter, and baste under and over the cloth.

Thanks for sharing Orly!

My first Thanksgiving was a giant potluck with 20 college friends in a tiny apartment. Our portable table half-collapsed under the weight of all the food and sent all the dishes sliding toward the floor. Miraculously, all that was lost was some cranberry sauce and peas. My roommate nearly had a meltdown over it, but we lived to tell a very funny story.

My second Thanksgiving was a proper dinner for my husband and two of our closest friends. I so proudly had everything ready on time for my 1 p.m. dinner. And they showed up two hours late. Everything was cold -- and my Martha moment was ruined.

And last year, I made Thanksgiving with my wonderful sister-in-law in the wake of a terrible family tragedy. No one wanted to celebrate. But she and I have such a wonderful time cooking together. And the food was brilliant. It was exactly what everyone needed.

From all that, I have learned these lessons. Roll with the punches. Don't let the small issues ruin your good time. And never underestimate the healing power of food!

My fiance and I have done an "orphan" thanksgiving for about three years now. Anyone who is still in NYC and doesnt want to trek somewhere comes to our apt. We have had upwards of nine people in our very tiny apt! I order the turkey early from a local farm. No need to brine, its amazing (though the 13 lb just fits in my little oven)

If people are coming, I tell them to bring something they normally have at their family get-togethers. I make the turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and basic fixings - the rest is up to them!
People want to show off what they can cook and what they grew up with. Let them be a part of the dinner and make something. Bringing a bottle of wine is not the same as sharing your uncle's secret carrot cake recipe!

I also make some stuff ahead of time a few days before (green bean casserole, pumpkin pie) and i set out what i need for the table the sunday before so i know if i need to grab anything.