No, my best roommate ever isn't this adorable cat named Angus. My real human roommate had already left for work, so you'll have to suffer through his photo, which is a shame because my roommate is quite photogenic. But it's more than just her ability to look great in every photo that has made her such a great person to live with over the years.
What started as a completely random Craigslist roommate search has led to two blissful years of roommate-dom for my roomie and I, who live in a two-bedroom duplex in East Austin. How did two complete strangers possibly find in each other the perfect living partner? Luck. Fate. And we asked a few key questions before we ever signed a lease to ensure that we'd be at least fairly compatible on some key issues. Rather than focus on roommate horror stories (as we've all probably had before), let's focus on the things that make for great roommate situations! For me and my roommate:
• We're both at the same level of messiness. In other words, neither one of us is a complete slob, nor a complete clean freak, and we both tend to feel like it's time to clean up around the same time. We also don't get defensive if we need to communicate when one or the other hasn't been pulling their cleaning share.
• We pick our battles. We've become friends over two years of living together, so keeping our friendship solid is as important as our living arrangement. That means we don't complain about every single annoyance to one another — just the vital stuff.
• We respect each other. My roomie's a strict vegan, so I limit any meat cooking to rarely and when she's not home (which suits me fine since I don't eat a lot of meat anyway). She knows I work from home, so she listens to music with headphones during the day to keep things quiet for me.
• We genuinely like each other. We've both lived in roommate situations where each roommate was perfectly polite to one another, but no real friendship was there. Though that's a totally doable situation, it's a lot of fun living with someone you can talk and laugh with.
So let's be positive and celebrate the great things about past and current roommates! Tell us about your best living situations with other people. Tell us about what made them so great to live with. Feel free to brag about yourself if you think you're a great roommate. Help others appreciate their living situations — or know when to recognize a bad one and to move on!
(Images: Adrienne Breaux)
Small Cool Lessons: Discovering Small Space Design Ideas That Really Work
Beatriz's Fun & Functional Workspace
Good Food to Share 
The Big Book of Small, Cool Spaces 
Apartment Therapy Presents 
The Eight-Step Home Cure 
Sheex Bedding
How to Make Easy 3-Ingredient Energy Bars at Home
How to Make Fresh Pasta Dough in the Food Processor
Is there such a thing?!?! Unless you are talking about a significant other.
I transferred colleges before my sophomore year. My new university had an online 'roommate matching network' where you could put up a mini-profile and communicate with other students, then request who you wanted your roommate to be. I messaged a girl who was also transferring, like to snowboard (like me) and had some band in her favorites that I liked at the time. We ended up in a triple with another girl, but the two of us were instant friends (and have been to this day, 6 years later). After the dorms, we moved off campus together and eventually I moved 3,000 miles away. We remain close friends and it was honestly the best roommate situation I've ever had!
My best roommate ever is my husband. Seriously, it doesn't get better.
But before that - I had one roomie in particular who was very sweet. I found her through McLean Bible's online message board (if you live in Northern VA this is a good alternative to craigslist).
http://www.frontlinedc.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi
I was new to the area and she had been here a while and was very inclusive with things she did and showed me around town. We also both had our own bathroom which I think helped a lot. (She wasn't messy or anything, it's just nice to have your own space there). We also had a system of sharing certain grocery items, like milk, and took turns buying them. That wouldn't work for everyone, or may seem obvious, but it worked really well for us and cut down on excess in the fridge and pantry. We ended up being good friends too! Her overwhelming kindness (from the day I met her) and mutual respect for each other made for a great living arrangement.
"And we asked a few key questions before we ever signed a lease to ensure that we'd be at least fairly compatible on some key issues."
What key questions did you ask? What does everyone think these key questions should be? I'm about to start the process of finding a roommate and would love to get some tips/advice. Thanks for an incredibly timely post ;)
The best roommate was a PhD student. She was at home working on her thesis in the day while I was at work. By the time I got home in the evening, she was in the lab or university library doing research. If we were home at the same time on weekends, she was almost always in her room studying, but would pop out once in a while for a chat, to share some tea, etc. The BEST thing about her, though, was that she had the same cleaning style as me. That's the key to a great roommate: always only live with someone that cleans on the same schedule, and washes the dishes the same way you do.
Mostly had great roommates and I think the key is we're both chill people with low sense of entitlements and moderately clean tendency. The peaceful coexistence was helped by (1) having opposite work schedules to the point that I wondered if she still lives with me, and (2) a clear understanding in the beginning that it's a 4 months sublease until she finds her permanent place. And if we still get along by month 3 then I'm open to extending the sublease.
My roommates ranged from a homeless woman who owned an Arabian horse (not unusual in Ithaca, New York), a leftover hippie, an aspiring fashion designer, a retired journalist, an Iraqi translator, a linguistic student, and a toy safety inspector.
Most of my youth was spent in tiny tiny rentals in Manhattan --so I lived alone in these closet-like spaces...but...
I had two perfect roomies back in those days, one was a close friend who was like a sister to me, so we meshed well in a 1 bedroom alcove Manhattan apt. (we turned the alcove into a second bedroom )-- the kitchen was hilariously small and we both kept the place clean and stocked with food.
When I moved across country I made a new friend and moved into her smallish 2 bdrm home in Marina Del Rey. We were both at the same "places" in our lives -- both in our late 20's and fresh from big breakups with dramatic guys. We were both low key people, but she was crazy kooky messy fun and it turned out that I naturally took over the running of the household -- kept the kitchen spotless, did all of the cooking and baking, stocked the cupboards and fridge and kept the house tidy enough, (except for her bedroom) in return she insisted I pay ZERO rent and ZERO utilities-- we were both thrilled with how things worked out. We had a lot of adventures together, she was up for lots of sporty things, and she had a boat --so that was great for me, too....and I only wish she could have moved back to nyc with me, when I returned. That was a great two year roommate situation.
I'm still friends with both of these former roomies.
Oh, my husband is a fabulous person to share a home with, but I would not think of calling him a roomie. :) it would be a demotion.
I met a wonderful roommate through Craigslist. We have about the same level of tidyness/messiness, and our bathroom schedules are different so we weren't always competing for the shared bath. She is considerate, kind, upbeat, and friendly. She is very kind to my dog, and one thing we talked about was whether she'd be okay with helping out with my dog sometimes, when I had to work late or was out of town. (But I always asked if she would help and made arrangements when she couldn't, because my dog is my responsibility.) We are friendly but each of us has friends and activities and full lives. By connecting on Facebook after initially talking to each other via Craigslist, we were able to determine a friend we had in common and could vouch for each of us, and that made me feel much more comfortable with the situation as well. In choosing who to respond to on Craigslist, I looked for people who were clear about what they were looking for in a roommate and wrote well. Also, we were both very upfront about not wanting to live with/be around illegal drugs or heavy drinking.
My husband and my cats. I've never once had a good room mate.
This is off topic but does anyone know where the blanket is from in the photo? Or does anyone know where the pattern can be found for the Hexagons? I know there are lots of patterns available but I like the openness of the centre part in the photo blanket.
Thanks!
My current roommate and best roommate is moving out this month.
We we're becoming friends and hanging out when I moved in 3 years ago and it ended up being a match made in heaven. Of course little things would be annoying, I hate how she washes and stacks dishes, but at the end of the day it didn't really matter.
I kept things organized and clean and she kept me from acting like a hermit. We've never fought and our friendship grew.
I'll really miss her!
"What key questions did you ask?" - Deshou
1. Do you have a job? (they need to supply proof) Although I broke my own rule with the Arabian horse owner when she paid me in cash for the entire length of the sublease.
2. Do you drink and/use narcotics? How much?
3. Do you have a boyfriend? If yes then agree from the beginning how often he can visit and if he can stay overnight. Put it in writing if necessary.
3. Does your friends and family visit often? Same agreement as number 2. Usually my roommates have just moved to the city and need a temporary place to stay while apartment hunting so friends and families are usually not an issue.
3. What do you need? It's not necessarily what she answers but how, it helps me gauge her sense of entitlement level.
4. What is your comfortable ambient temperature? It's amazing how disagreement over the thermostat can quickly spiral downwards. I brought a fan for one roommate and another brought a space heater for herself.
My college roomies were the best! We lived together 3 years in a few different apartments, some nicer than others. We shared food and chores wonderfully, and I miss them being so close. I'm the maid of honor in one of their weddings next month :)
I live with my husband now and he's darling, but doesn't count as a roommate!
my law school roomate, who was of the opposite sex and about 4 or 5 years older than me (it was his second career). we met through a message board the school set up for that purpose, then met in person one time. neither of us were complete slobs or neat freaks, which I agree is important. we shared a bathroom with almost zero counter space and it wasn't a big deal.
we were pretty different - I was waaaay more into partying than he was - but we established at that first meeting that we were both politically active and aligned in that respect, and that's most of the reason I felt good about moving in together. it did work out nicely, because we ended up making many of the same friends, and the group that congregated at our house was acceptable to either of us.
I should mention that both of us were so much happier in our arrangement than we had been with same-sex roommates, for whatever reason.
my best roommate, uh, had lots of boyfriends and was a compulsive cleaner, so she'd be gone for days at a time, then come home and do all the dishes and clean everything. Sometimes there would be an assortment of strange men over, but the general absence and cleanliness made up for that.
My best roommate is my current roommate. We met through mutual friends and were at the same party when it came up that she was looking for a new place and my roommate had just moved away. Apart from what a lot of people have said, I like living with someone who has the SAME (in my case, 9-5) work schedule I do. I like hearing her up and around in the morning. It makes it easier to drag myself out of bed, and vice versa. I do agree with a lot of other points people have made, however. She and I are both very messy and agreed to hire a cleaning service once a week for the entire house. We also have the same (very liberal) attitudes about parties, drugs, alcohol, and sleepovers. It's not uncommon for one of us to come home at 5 AM on a Monday morning and find people passed out on the floor, bottles all over the porch, and powder on the dining table. The key is definitely common ground on those three broad issues of schedule, cleanliness, and lifestyle.
When my ex-boyfriend wanted to meet at a neutral spot to talk (at night in the town park in a gazebo), my roommate (Kricky) called another friend and followed me without my knowledge to be there in case he tried anything.
She also talked in her sleep, and it was hilarious.
I, too, am distracted from the main topic by that adorable blanket. Pattern, anyone?
I met my female soul mate in an organic chemistry lab sophomore year. Having a four bedroom house rented for next year, we needed one more person to sign the lease. I barely knew anything about her, except the fact that her ridiculously hot boyfriend always waited for her after class, her fashion sense was a little whack (but she always made it work), and she too was failing ochem.
She signed, and while the 2 boys we shared the house with provided much entertainment, we instantly clicked. We watched the same guilty TV shows (Toddlers & Tiaras and Pretty Little Liars anyone?), both appreciated the many uses of bacon, and even though we were separated for a semester when she studied abroad, we reunited as if she had never left.
I look back on those 2 years and the most fun in my life so far. We promise that someday we will live in the same city again, buy houses next to each other, and build underground tunnels connecting the two.
I miss her...
It was a temporary situation, and I knew I could live with basically anything for 4 months, but it ended up working out fabulously and was genuinely sad when she moved out. We holed up in our rooms and rarely saw each other most days, but went out together and had a great time a few times a month. We did each other dishes, shared food (which I have never been comfortable with before or since), never stepped on each other's toes. When she left, as a goodbye present, she planted me an herb garden in the backyard, complete with a miniature white picket fence. We still keep in touch and wistfully recall our perfect roommate situation.
The best roommate I ever had (other than my husband) was a girl I have been friends with since kindergarten. We roomed together in college and it worked well. Due to our long friendship (which included summers at 4-H camp, yay 4-H!) we knew each other's habits, likes and dislikes, tendencies, etc. It was pretty great.
I think the key to a great roommate situation is to have your own bathrooms... that said. I have not had roommates since I left NYC. Where I had one great, a couple of goods, a few not so great, one who slept with my boyfriend and one psycho. (Seriously, she was committed and her Dad had to come move out her stuff.) If this was a "worst" roommate thread, then I might win.
I think that blanket is a variation on this:
http://attic24.typepad.com/weblog/hexagon-howto.html
Good luck to those of you who dare move into making one. :)
I'm so jealous. I've never had a roommate worth bragging about. In all maybe two could have been good. I was the one that contributed to one trainwreck while the other was a slob. Boyfriends always around, neglected / destructive pets and loud music usually my deal breakers.
I lived with me and myself once. Me played annoying music sometimes and myself left the dishes for "later" on more than one occasion. Other than that, best roommates ever!
I had a roommate that was rarely home when I was, and would always clean up after me and my boyfriend in all the common areas (we weren't that messy, even).. I felt bad, but he seemed to be more than happy to do it. He also gave us a kitten named Phoebe! In my opinion, the best roommate is one that is never around.
My best roommate ever is my bff. We were bffs before we lived together, and we had had major fights where we didn't talk for 6 months before we lived together. But circumstances pulled us together (one needed a fresh start and a place to live with dogs, the other had bought a condo she couldn't really afford without a roommate and didn't want a stranger)(and she loved dogs but was afraid of the responsibility). And so, we lived together and had a couple of blow-out fights over the course of 2 years. But mostly it was great. We're old enough to know better than to alienate your bff for trivial reasons.
Thank you, for reminding us to be thankful for the people around us that we truly appreciate! We often take them for granted. My best room-mates fall into a four-way tie and one of them is my husband. All of them taught me about the most important qualities of friendship (patience, understanding, love) and always made me laugh. And really, what more do you want from someone you live with?
My perfect roommates were during my Jr and senior years of college. I moved into a very old house with three other guys and it worked out perfect over the 2.5 years I lived there. The house wasn't fancy, but it met our basic needs. The house was owned by one of the guys mom, so he was sort of our landlord, but it all worked out. We had house meetings and everyone pulled his weight. One of the best times in my life.
My best friend and I moved across the country after college. We randomly chose Texas, and spent two weeks roadtriping our way there with only what fit in the car. We had never lived near each other, let alone with each other… it was the most extended-fun I’ve ever had. We were at that age where the simple fact of our own apartment made us feel adult. But young enough to find literally every single thing that happened hysterical.
We did manage to have some serious fights. (One memorably, over who ate the last of the tofu.) But mostly it was amazing. We’re back to living a few states apart, and we both look back on that time as idyllic.
I have been so lucky with roommates - before I got married I had 7 different roommates in 6 years. They truly were all wonderful, but I'd have to say my favourite was a girl I didn't know well when she moved in, but we were a similar clothes size and we were soon trying on each other's clothes in the middle of the night and staying up drinking tea and talking until 2am.
The best roommate I have ever had was a cat! I've never had a human roommate. Ha!
I don't have any roommates that stand out as "oh man, they were the BEST." But I've had some nice ones. My longest term roommate (other than hubs) was the last 1.5 years of college (I lived by myself for awhile). She was pretty great - similar cleaning styles, and our duplex allowed us to have separate bedrooms and bathrooms on opposite sides of the house. She had 2 poodles which I helped her with sometimes (letting them out or pet-sitting over the weekend), which I affectionately call the Oodles of Poodles. She was mellow with my out-of-town-BF (now hubs) coming to stay for 4-5 days at a time over long weekends.
The other nice one was my HS BFF and I ended up living together our first 2 years of college (although we had sworn that we wouldn't). We ended up both getting horrible roommates in the potluck system at our university and jumped at the chance for me to switch dorms when her original roommate moved out. My BFF was going through some dark times during those 2 years, which is the only little "raincloud" on our roommate experience. But we had a lot of fun, a lot of laughs together during that time. It was that idyllic time when you're wavering between being a full-fledged adult and still being a carefree kid with no cares and responsibilities. OHHH the stories I'll be able to tell her children someday :)
I've always been of the opinion that "good roommate" was an oxymoron... but then maybe my misanthropy is showing!
My best roommate ever is my husband. It's unbelievable how easy he is to live with and how very compatible we are together.
And I've had quite a few roommates in my past.
@Mary BC Thanks for the link. I also ended up finding this which seems to be a pretty close match to the "hole-y" feel the photo blanket has.
http://www.patchworkcrochet.com/garden.htm
If I try making the blanket I think I'll do all the flowers in a coral colour (or kelly greey, or mustard yellow), the centers a grey and the rest a cream :)
First need to learn to crochet haha!
Just a thought - my significant other is the worst roommate I've ever had. Don't assume that just because you have a great relationship that you can live well together - it's taking a LOT of work!
one of my college freshman roommates was the best experience i had. we lived in a 4-girl dorm where we each had our own room (i never had to share a room in college, lucky me). her room was really messy, but she kept all of our common spaces clean, she was always quick to buy refills of TP, etc. we are still very close friends now and see each other often. she's also been the roommate i've liked most as a person.
i think it also helps that we did not have bills, etc. or a kitchen only we share. i think that has been most of the boiling points with myself and other roommates. my biggest peeve is a dirty kitchen - so when roommates do not keep up with it, things go sour quickly. and having to ask someone for bills and them not being quick to get that to you also causes problems.