Marriage means picking one special person for the rest of your life—and annoying them endlessly. Even though relationships all have totally different dynamics and personalities, it seems like the same few quarrels come up whenever two people decide to bunk up and move in together. Here are the seven fights we've all had:
Toilet Paper: Front-facing or Back-facing?
"It just tears better when it's under the roll."
"But it's harder to reach for, and it looks terrible. Watch the commercials, the roll is supposed to pull from the top."
"Fine. But you're cleaning up the bathroom when the cat unrolls the whole thing."
The Toothpaste Tube
"Can you just push the toothpaste tube from the end instead of the middle, please?"
"Yeah, as soon as you start putting the cap back on every time."
Putting the Toilet Seat Down
"I fell in again this morning."
"Well if you can't pay attention to the seat when you go, how do you expect me to?"
"Just put it down, OK? And you should be closing the lid everytime, too!"
Hair in the Drains
"Your beard fuzz is all over the sink. Gross"
"Well your hair in the shower is the reason I invested in Drano. Have you ever seen what comes out of the drain when I snake it? Checkmate."
The Master of the Remote
"You chose what we watched last night! It's my turn."
"Fine, but I don't want to watch Real Housewives again."
"Too bad; it's my fave. And I'm not even going to fast-foward the commercials."
Leaving Stuff Everywhere
"You left, like, a week's worth of dirty socks all over the bedroom."
"I was about to pick them up! It's not as annoying as your bobby pins, um.... everywhere. I swear those things reproduce."
What to Eat
"What are you in the mood for tonight?"
"Anything. I don't care."
"OK, want to order Thai?"
"I can make some pasta...?"
"Not really feeling that either."
"Ok, then what do you want?"
Any of these sound familiar? What do you quibble about?
- Re-edited from a post originally published 8.12.2015 - CM