So we're just going to get right to the point with this post, because no graceful intro or set up can counterbalance the idea behind this new product. It's called the "Better Marriage Blanket" and that's only because calling it "The Fart Trapping Blanket" seems well... too obvious.
The Better Marriage Blanket retails between $29.99 and $59.99 (Twin-King) and is available in white and beige shades. It's a comforter that's constructed from the same military grade fabric used to protect against chemical weapons, so your Silent But Deadlies aren't lethal to anyone else who happens to be sharing a bed with you.
The item isn't yet available in stores, but you can order your own online and make sure to take a peek at the online informercial if you're in the mood for an adolescent giggle.
You use the product like you would any comforter, the inner layer of "activated carbon fabric" keeps the smells at bay. Now if they just make underpants from the stuff, you'll be set for night and day!
We don't have any wise words to wrap this up, but the 7 year old in us would really like to point out their logo... just sayin'.
(via: KSHB News)
(Image: Better Marriage Blanket)
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Comments (60)
Good Lord!
LOL
I would never trust that site with my credit card info! This has got to be a joke...I hope.
Imagine the accumulation after a good 8-hour. Just don't pull those covers back!!! Imagine the scene. Both hold their breaths, throw back the covers and run for it! Wonder if the carbon really works...This is just too much fun.
Who knows - maybe in a couple years this will be a staple on the wedding registry...
They shoulda rethought the promo photos - lame and cringeworthy. A quirky logo (not the one they've got) and text would have done the job. THe happy and unhappy couples are just awful!
@KatieMoos3123: Or how about a staple on the "moving to a new apartment" registry right now?!
I saw this on a message board and could not believe it was real. It's one of the grossest things I've ever seen.
And I do have an inner 7 year old that could laugh when the decorations I made on my daughter's birthday cupcakes looked like fresh cat poop. I just find this nauseating for some reason.
Best laugh I've had all day.
so it the comfortor actually comfortable??... gassy occurances in the bedroom arent that high up on our problem list...so i hope they have more than just this reason of why i should buy this thing...like can i get a fabric sample???
Hahaha! I so want one!
@clpizzo: I have a suspicion on why you wanna get a fabric sample... just the right size to plug into your ---?
I'm sorry. This is the best laugh for today. Can't get over it.
I can't believe I know this but... they do make underpants out of this stuff!
The guy on the left is *so* pleased!
Okay, so I can see the value in it if you happen to be married to someone who has chronic flatulence, but otherwise, well, common courtesy would dictate a night on the couch for the offender, no? That's the way it's always worked in our house, no problem, no hard feelings.
One of the best things about being married is the Dutch Oven.
oh my god, SeanG, my stomach hurts I'm laughing so hard...My inner seven year old wants your statement to be my email signature line.
this takes all the fun out!
I can just imagine the conversation between the manufacturer and the ad agency. "You want a logo for what?!?"
I needed a laugh today. I could buy this for my father, I'm sure his cat would appreciate it!
My father so needs one of these for the sake of my stepmother's well being! :)
They were talking about this on the radio station I listen to in the mornings. They also make an insert for your office chair! Too Funny!
Have they tested this product? I'd like to see some testimonials.
The *last* thing I'd want is a fabric sample.
If you don't find night farts amusing, I don't want to marry you, anyway.
If you have a flatulence problem, then maybe you are lactose and gluten intolerant. Change your diet. I have two friends who found out this and they say they have never felt better in their life with the avoidance of the two said items.
I didn't think this post was funny until I read highlander403's comment.
Hahahahhahahahahahahahah!!!!!!
My dad needs those underpants. Can i have the link? It's to save my family.
This is hilarious. I'm sending this link to my partner.
@highlander403 - I would rather live in a world with flatulence than a world without bread and cheese (REAL bread and cheese - don't give me any of that gluten-free bread/soy cheese hoo-ha)
There's no way this works unless maybe each person wraps up entirely in their own blanket.
And I agree - the photos are ridiculous lol.
This could come in very handy when one forgets to take one's Beano. Which *some* people do. A lot.
This is ridiculous, It won't work. But I know how to fix it.
I have my patent attorney at work on my improvements and will be in touch with my proposal.
I think it's funny that the company name could be abbreviated as "The BM Blanket" (The Better Marriage Blanket)
"If you have a flatulence problem, then maybe you are lactose and gluten intolerant. Change your diet."
That's one of the symptoms I had before I learned that I was Celiac.
Changing my diet made the biggest difference -
- a blanket wouldn't have fixed that.
they do make underwear: http://www.under-tec.com/index.php
I believe they go by farty-pants.
I just read somewhere (wish I could find it now!) about activated charcoal pads that you stick to your underwear to absorb the odor of flatulence. Still can't decide if it's a joke or not!
Truly, truly LOL. It's a post like this makes me feel very glad I'm NOT married!!!
Maybe they can make chair cushions from this.
This blanket made me think about fart absorbing underwear too. I did some research, and there are two brands, but they're both ugly and expensive. Then I found fart absorbing pads that you just stick to your underwear. They're called Subtle Butts and cost $10 for a pack of 5. The commercial is funny too. http://www.strangenewproducts.com/2007/12/subtle-butt-fart-pads.html
Does it block out the sound as well?
hahahahah violetta, that was exactly what I was wondering hahahah
Hmmm.... maybe I will get one to throw over my dog....
This will get more use than the china and crystal.
Do they have a commercial with the woman farting?
Chlorofresh, is a great product for the gassy offender.I know, because it's me not my SO with this problem.
Nauseating. I think I'd rather put up with the smell (use a fan and open a window) for a couple of minutes than get Dutch-ovened.
So, the blanket works because it has a carbon layer to absorb 'impurities'..... Hmmmm... Rather than splashing out on the blanket (or the underpants) why not save your money and the next time your loved one causes the duvet to float, simply repurpose the spent cartridge out of your water filtering jug....?
For what it's worth, we have charcoal filters for the covered cat litter boxes, I did a test and removed them, the smell was more noticeable (especially after the litter being freshly used) so there does seem to be something to the charcoal aspect.
Small tip with canned beans, if you cook them in a pot of water, and remove the foam that rises to the top and then add them to whatever you're making = no gas!
i like that the guy on the right farts from his shoulder
Pizzapi, that is a gas leak coming from the opeinings between the person and the blanket.
As and inventive and generous person, I am going to give The Better Marriage Blanket my ideas for free. I want to help marital harmony for all, in any way I can.
Those air leaks are the problem with why the filter is pointless.
My improvement is to add a velcro strip to seal the blanket to the sheet and a type of turtleneck opening for the heads of the sleepers to emerge without allowing offensive, noxious air to seep out around them.
It will also solve the problem of the larger person lifting the covers off the smaller person and allowing a cold draft to waft in, which reguires the smaller person to wrap up in flannel jammies even thought the larger person prefers they sleep au naturel, which leads to sweatiness and exacerbates the cold draft problem.
The Better Marriage people can make these improvements and send me a blanket as thanks.
Another use for this product---if your dogs sleep with you (ours do) or at your feet while you're watching TV you could definitely use this fart trapping blanket for your pets. LoL (I can't believe I used the words 'fart trapping' but since AT used it I feel it's socially acceptable...
Activated carbon is what is used to capture mercury emissions from coal fire power plants. Glad to see it is being put to a wide variety of uses.
So, as a teachers of boys aged 12 - 17, I think the underwear is a GREAT idea! The only thing I would ask for is a silencer option. The smell MAY disrupt any class, but the sound is a guarantee of chaos! I love this post and we all got a good, long laugh! Thank you for making Monday bearable!
My colleague needs the chair pad.
Chair pad, underwear, blankets - this idea can go so far beyond better marriages! Better world!
OK, And LOVE the faces of the stock-photo couple on the upper left. Bet they never knew what they were up for when that photo-shoot paid off.
Kate (NC) you have the mind of a genius! However, what if one of them wants to go to the bathroom in the middle oof the night or...sleep walks?
Did I just say "oof"?
The one thing that saved my marriage was to have two separate comforters on our king size bed. I got tired of having to hold on to my half of the blankets for dear life every time my husband rolled over (and subsequently took the blankets with him). It's the best thing ever! Not to mention the fact that it saves me from his dutch oven tendencies.