When I visit my sister's home, I always take charge of the cooking...
...then again, she's not that great a cook - so the whole family appreciates it.

This is how I rolled during my traveling years in 2008-2009. It was a classy way to roll. I slim little fleece sleeping bag, a little pillow, and a twin aerobed. Roll in, roll out, no big deal!

We had friends stay with us for 2 1/2 weeks last summer. They were amazing house guests! They shared the household chores as if it was their own house: bought groceries, took out the garbage, cooked dinners and cleaned up afterwards. They even cleaned our basement after we had a sewage backup! They were very considerate and conscious of the fact that hosting guests for an extended stay can take a toll on the hosts. I learned a thing or two from them about how to be a good house guest.

I've never hosted anybody longer than a few days...but in August my mother, niece and nephew are coming for 12 days! Help!!!

I don't have overnight guests in my home and I use hotels when I travel. Easy peasy.

This guest sounds fantastic, though. Most people I know don't have a designated guest room (or bed). A guest who brings his own bed and bedding would be a lot more welcome in a lot more homes. Great idea.

When I was in my 20's and hitchhiking around the country (it was still safe in the late 60's in some places to do this) I always baked bread for my hosts and tried never to overstay my welcome. Packets of yeast were easy to carry in a backpack and everyone always had the ingredients. If not, I ran out for them.
I usually bring my own towel and pillow with covers but hadn't thought of sheets. Easily done.
Love that he had his own mattress, very generous, courteous and thoughtful considering they can take up precious space on such a long journey in a car.

B.Y.O.S. = "this prevents a lot of his friends from washing sheet sets that have barely been used." - indeed!
I just had a recent house guest who was over for one night. I felt so wasteful washing the covers that had only been used once...but it's not like I could have not washed them. Conversely, I feel bad when I stay overnight somewhere and "soil" the sheets by sleeping on them once.
I know it's all part of hosting and such, but it doesn't stop me from feeling wasteful.

Guests who insist on doing the dishes are the best guests ever.

We just hosted my sister and two nephews for ten days and it was smooth sailing. We finally have a guest room and have been begging them to visit (we recently moved 2000 miles away)! She stayed in the guest room and the boys camped out in our office on an air mattress. They always helped with meal prep and clean up, grocery shopping and laundry. The boys (aged ten and 13) were good about setting the table, picking up after themselves and keeping food and drinks in the kitchen and dining room (lessening our chances of yet another ant invasion). They took us out to eat on several occasions and were good about respecting the fact that we had to work. My sister stripped the sheets off their beds and cleaned their bathroom before leaving - something I really appreciated. I'd host them again in a heartbeat!

I only have a couple of friends that visit 1-2 times a year that stay for more than a few days, everyone else stays in a hotel.

I am now concerned about someone bringing bed bugs into my house, sounds horrible but true.

I think its a great idea to BYOB.

I don't stay with people on vacation I love my independence too much.

what a brilliant idea! And also, such a considerate one, as well.

My friends aren't considerate at all.

I love when my house guests just come in and make themselves at home. I would hate it if they didn't feel comfortable enough in my home to help themselves to a snack, drink etc... or ask if they could use something they needed.

may I inject another POV into this conversation? I applaud all the considerate guests. Do I detect a lot of hosts dreading the obligation? Look I know we are all busy and distracted people now, and it's really easy to resent the guest when faced with tidying up the joint etc. It helps me to push my mindset (with a lot of puffing and grunting) in the direction of GREAT, I'm going to have FUN doing things for them. (I mean the only used once sheets having to be washed... oh PLEASE... and don't come after me with the wasteful to the environment argument...) Whole civilizations used to pride themselves on the generosity and selflessness of their hosting, their joy and pride in it. I'd like to be one of those hosts: I wish I was.

I love it when my guests strip the bed and fold the sheets up. Even though I am going to unfold them to wash the sheets, it's just a thoughtful gesture.

Similarly, I have to strip the bed when I stay at a hotel. It's from my years working as a hotel maid. It just irks me to leave them. I also stack my plates at a restaurant, a holdover from waitressing days.

Yep, clampers, I think it's great when guests strip the bed and put the sheets and towels in the laundry room for me to wash later.

For me the stress of house guests is much eliminated when they make themselves at home - less trying to anticipate what they need and wait on them. I also like it when they make plans on their own sometimes so I still get alone time. I'm spoiled living alone and forget how stressful togetherness can become after a while.

Prior to my MIL's second visit to our home, she MAILED us an air mattress! I guess she didn't love our sofabed on her first visit. This might have been a bit much for some people, but I thought it was very cool - and now our other guests benefit from it as well. I am not as comfortable a hostess as I would like to be, but I'm working on it.

I love having house guests and I don't mind rearranging my apartment to accomodate their sleeping quarters or doing extra laundry or dishes. The only time it gets tedious is due to my own neuroses. I just can't stand it when people leave towels or products all over my bathroom. Simply cleaning up after yourself is the best thing a houseguest can do for me (IE put your dishes in the sink, towel in the hamper etc).

the most considerate thing a guest can do is stay in a hotel. period.

"this prevents a lot of his friends from washing sheet sets that have barely been used."

Why have sheets that aren't used? Just decorative?

I always, ALWAYS do the dishes when I stay with friends, and always strip the bed the morning I'm leaving. I love the air mattress idea too, though...might need to run out and buy one soon, both to carry with me and so I have a space for guests to stay in my little apartment!

I tour in a band and depend on the kindness of, many times, complete strangers. I always bring a sleeping bag, pillow, air mattress or foam pad. I always clean up after myself and supply the booze! Along the way I've met tons of great people and regularly have people staying in my house on their way through town, and it's usually a ton of fun. Friends came through a week ago for a few days, brought me a couple bottles of nice wine, supplied their own bedding, and played with my golden retriever until he passed out from exhaustion. They cleaned up every morning before I woke up. I miss them!

I love having houseguests :) I'd say the best houseguests are those who are comfortable enough to ask (or help themselves) when they want/need something, so that I don't feel like I need to constantly ask if they want something to drink, more blankets, etc.

When I'm a houseguest, I always bring a gift for the host, and try to also contribute things like a nice bottle of wine, maybe flowers or a gourmet treat, etc. Also I always help in the kitchen with food prep, dishes, etc. And, I'm sure to never make a mess, keep my bed made and my room/area cleaned up, even if I can just close the door, I keep it tidy anyway.

I love having guests, and who cares about extra cooking and extra wash? The most considerate thing a house guest can do, IMHO, is adjust to his/her host's routines. Ask when supper is, and get back from sightseeing in time to sit at the table with the family. Watch for yawns and glazed eyes and retire for the night before people nod off. And help out a bit here and there: you'll be asked back, I promise. :-)

When we have houseguests (who are not staying longer than a week) we don't allow them to do any cleaning or cooking. It's just the way that I like to host, and it keeps me calm since I'm a bit possessive of my kitchen.

We had a guest staying with us who was going to a wedding the next day and we didn't have an iron or ironing board, so he went out and bought them and left them as a housewarming gift for us. I don't expect our houseguests to buy us gifts, but I like how he saw something missing from our home and filled it.

I agree with LilyC that sometimes the best thing a houseguest can do is just go out on their own so I have some time alone.

I always try to take my own towels!

I loveee when my guest bring their own towel.... and i'd appreciate if they also bring their own pillow,.. but maybe that is asking too much :).
What do i do when i'm the guest? I clean my mess and try to leave everything as it was found.. i like to have people over.. but i hate when my friends/relatives leave the sink/and mirror all wet after washing their hands.. or leave the bathroom mat all wet after taking a shower.

I don't travel much, but when I do I generally stay in a hotel, rather than impose on my friends.

I love having house guests, especially family. Last Christmas, my family and I were just recovering from swine flu, no longer contagious, but in the doldrums. Then my SIL, BIL and nieces came to stay on Christmas Eve and cheered us up. We had a proper festive Christmas, and celebrated all the way through New Years. God bless the house guests!

I actually recently offered to bring my own sheets to a friend who was hosting my husband and I, a friend, and another couple with a baby immediately before (as in a few hours in between) then hosting 3 couples. He actually said no, but at least I offered!

As for cleaning, I always try to make sure no one has to clean up after me when I am a guest, but it all depends. My parents try to do the same thing when they stay with us, but they are both horrible at doing the dishes, so it actually causes problems when they insist on "helping". It means: 1) trying to talk them out of it, 2) watching them do a bad job, and 3) doing the dishes again in the morning, and sometimes 4) making an excuse as to why you're redoing the dishes so they can save face. I have also straight out confronted them several times - to no avail - so that tactic just doesn't work. I guess I'm saying, that part of being a good guest also involves TAKING A HINT.

Ugh... our house guest has now been staying with us for two weeks and I am sorry, I usually love having house guests and have never had a problem with one before, but I cannot wait for him to go. He has a terrible BO problem to the point where our entire apartment started to smell like a locker room. Extreme measures with vinegar and baking soda had to be taken. He doesn't help with ANY cleaning because he's a slob and dirty to us seems sparkling clean to him. He trims his goatee/beard daily and leaves little clippings all over our bathroom counter. He keeps throwing his nasty used tissues into our recycling. HELP!

Wow, I am so jealous of all of you who've had considerate house guests. Here's an example of what I've had to deal with from a pair of so called family members. Shedding dogs on the couch, pee puddles on my carpet every single day, dog pee on my wall, mystery stains on my walls, leaving for the day and expecting dinner, yelling at or completely ignoring their grandchildren, ignoring me and only talking when my husband is home, not picking up their dirty dishes, coffee cups, soda cans, leaving dirty socks and little  piles of trash everywhere, hiding cookies from small children, making others who drop by feel unwelcome and intrusive, no help with houshold chores for 3 weeks and no offer to buy or replenish groceries.  Not even an offer to clean up after their own animals. My house was spotless before they came over and now I have to steam clean and disinfect from top to bottom. Extremely disrespectful.  My husband loves them but is slowly seeing the real them. 

So appreciate your wonderful respectful house guests :)

I pass on guests offering to wash dishes. I've had too many guests not do a thorough job and have found bits of food or lipstick marks caked on them later. I'm pretty Type A when it comes to handling my own cleaning.

As a long-term house guest with my bro and SIL plus their new baby, the comments have been very helpful to me!

Some things I try to do:
- Set clear table, do all the washing up (SIL is an excellent cook)
- Bring home some of the 'little things' I know they like: fresh flowers, wine, snacks, etc.
- ALWAYS clean up after myself: wiping up stray hairs from the sink and floors in the bathroom, make my bed every day, keeping my stuff in place (not in piles!)
- Babysit
- Clean, and pay for their housekeeping
- Foot the grocery bill
- Be in observation mode to get to know their rhythms, and follow suit

My mom and sister are coming to stay for a week starting Friday, and my mom does a lot of cooking, which is always nice. It's fun to have guests (in an exhausting way). But I guess I haven't really had any horrible ones.

I am setting up my new home and furnishing my guest room so it will be welcoming for guests. I'd just as soon they sleep in my beds. BUt I wouldn't object if they want to sleep on the floor!

When I stay with people I always offer to take them out to a meal AT LEAST once.

is it okay to treat your hosts guest bed as your own bed? in other words, is it okay as a couple to be intimate in your guest bed? if the answer is YES, then i would recommend to ALWAYS clean the sheets after people leave.

We had some great house guests stay with us for a few nights recently, one of which insisted upon making my husband and me his prized crêpes breakfast. He bought all of the ingredients and took charge in the kitchen.

When they replenished some groceries, they were mindful enough to replace them with organic products. They paid for some dinners and drinks, kept the bathroom tidy, stripped the bed when they left. The best parting gifts were a photo shoot with our dog at the beach (they are both professional photographers) and a nice note that made us realize how much we were going to miss them.

My friends ordered and shipped a new air mattress and set of sheets to our home as our host gift. We used it with their family and all families who have visited since, several years later.

I just had friends stay overnight on our air mattress. The best was when I went to wash the sheets they had left me a thankyou card and little present on top of them. aw!

It really bothers me when a guest leaves all her sundries scattered in the bathroom. So disgusting. And long, brown hairs everywhere. Eeech.

But not everyone is so oblivious. My one friend has a great policy. When he is a houseguest, he does everything he can to "make it look like he isn't there." It isn't easy for him, but he somehow manages it. He stayed in my small Santa Monica apartment for a week, and during the day, his bedding was put away, his things were tucked out of site. All traces of him were hidden (except for his big, boisterous personality!). It was really nice!

Oh man, I love when people visit me! I don't expect them to lift a finger or bring anything for my sake. The pleasure of their company is more than enough to compensate for any extra work I might have to do, and really my friends are awesome and frequently I have LESS work to do than usual. (Like when they help with the dishes.)

I keep a big envelope full of local tourist brochures and takeout/restaurant menus, too, so that people who want to venture out alone for a day can see their options better. My family visits from overseas and for them I even keep a super cheap pre-paid mobile phone for them to use while they're here, so they can stay in touch if they get lost.

When I go stay with people, I do always ask if I can bring them anything. Last Christmas, my sister-in-law was hosting a bunch of us at her place and I know she was extra grateful when we all brought our own sheets.

I love it when people I love visit me. I try to keep in mind that these are people I love & that the time I get to spend with them is precious. I don't care if my place looks like a college dorm or a slumber party for a few days. I can deal with it. Life is short & I can clean up when they leave.

what makes a great houseguest? buying us a good bottle of scotch when they leave. they'll ALWAYS be invited back ;)

Hell, I'd applaud any host that does wash the sheets after that one guest use! I think they deserve some credit too.

Last time I visited my family, I got to tuck into a bed full of crumbs, food stains all over the sheets and food must have spilled on the pillow too because it smelled rank. Months worth of filth. Maybe years.

We love having guests. People who behave badly don't get asked back. But with almost no exceptions, after three days of full-time hosting, we need a break. The best guests, if they're staying longer than three days, find something to do with themselves for a day or two (or, like our best friends from Nebraska, actually go stay with other friends for three days before returning back for a final three).

And of COURSE you wash the sheets, even after one day. C'mon! The thought of sleeping on dirty sheets packed away for weeks or months makes me shiver.

The best thing my house guests can do is make themselves at home and behave like members of the family. To my family, this includes things like helping in the kitchen, being generally considerate of one another, etc.

Boy am I glad some of the posters here aren't friends of mine. I don't have any friends who would prefer a guest to stay in a hotel, and I would be appalled at myself if I ever suggested it.

We have a studio with ensuite in our yard which is our office, but has an incredibly comfortable sofa bed in it. This is great because guests have their own space.
All our friends and family cook meals/take us out to dinner, help clean up etc when they stay with us. But usually when guests come, we also take a mini-break in that we let chores slide and spend more time doing visitor things.
We really only stay with close family now (hosting a family of 7 is not appealing to most!), but I always wash our sheets and hang them out the day we leave, clean the bathroom we used etc, I'll cook meals while there, buy flowers and we always give our hosts a bottle of wine on departure. It's nice when guests leave, for your house to look as it did the day they arrived.

Also, can I just say I think offering to do chores, cook etc, asking "can I do anything?" is just a cop-out, because every host I know (including myself) is going to say "No, thank you" while a voice says in their head "YES!". Don't ask, just do it. You will be loved.

Always strip the bed when you are leaving, try not to drag your luggage though the house and leave a envelope with $20 for the maid / cleaning lady if your hosts have one.

If washing a set of sheets is such a gripe, you've probably lost the point of having guests and being a host. Sorry.

PLEASE......if your host(s) must go to work, PLEASE save your morning shower/routine for AFTER they are completely done with their own, and preferably have left for work.

In fact, ASK your host when the best time for a shower is. There may be issues with using up the hot water, so some showers might best be taken at night.

My Dad (I do love him so much) had this HORRIBLE habit of taking a shower at 5:30am, then waking me EARLY instead of at 6. Then while I was in the shower at 6:15 he'd tell me to hurry up so he could shave.

He didn't have to go anywhere! And the bathroom would be sopping wet and smelling like Irish Spring. And there's nothing like sitting on a damp toilet seat first thing in the morning, lol

He finally stopped after I had a meltdown, LOL

Unlike a lot of you, I actually DON'T like my guests to offer to help cook or do the dishes or whatever - I like to do things my own way and I hate having people underfoot in my kitchen! But if you want to buy my meal when we go out - fantastic!

"Guests who get up when they hear me moving around, as I do when I'm visiting, get my vote."

So, if your guest is a very sound sleeper you are annoyed?!

I sleep really hard. I don't hear anyone scratching around until I'm ready to wake up. I wouldn't even hear anyone moving around until I drift into consciousness.

So if you're worried about waking the sleeping person - I say don't worry.
People who need complete silence to sleep are the bother!

Solution, if you want your guests to wake up at a certain time... cook bacon!!

Second question...

Why would it bother you if your guests want to rest.
They are on vacation. What do you care?

I loved reading these posts. Some of the best houseguests I ever had were when I twice hosted kids from Uganda who were passing through performing in The African Children's Choir. What professionals and their manners were absolutely impeccable. They made their beds, left the bathrooms spotless, honored our schedule, cleared the table and left the sweetest thank you notes. They are welcome back anytime.

I lived in Japan for a while and have adopted that country's tradition of bringing a gift for the host family. On occasion I have cooked a meal for hosts rather than brought some other gift.

Pet peeve: leaving the bathroom nasty! I SO wish all guests were fastidious about not junking up the counter with their hairy brushes and rolled toothpaste tubes. Keep it in your toiletry kit, please! Also, hang those towels NEATLY, and don't get the bath rug all soaking wet! Also, put the durn seat and lid down. (Follow the hosts' lead on this one! If they put th elid down, YOU put the lid down.)

That said, I'm happy to tolerate this bathroom cleanliness issue to have people I love visit me.

I know this is a little thing, but I always strip the sheets and put them in the hamper, and fold the blankets when I stay over someone's place.

I don't always like my guests doing what are supposed to be my own chores or hosting duties. There is a little part of my brain that will think, it's a subtle message saying I'm a messy person. I'll get embarrassed.

Also, I'm a straightforward person. When I say stuff I mean it, and I expect the same in return. Those polite phrases people say but don't mean, I don't do that. If I offer to help I completely mean it. If I say I don't want help I completely mean it.

Please, for the love of dog, don't bring other unexpected guests with you. If I invited you to stay with me, your three kids, their significant others and their children, and your dog are not included. If I wanted all of those other people (and pets!!) to stay, I would have invited them as well.

Yeah mom, I'm talking to you.

I visit my parents about every 2 weeks. They have two guests rooms, one of which is my old room. I tidy up the room and make the bed every day. After 3 or 4 stays, I wash the sheets myself.

Also, I make sure I have a new (tried and true) recipe and make dinner for them while I visit.

I love having guests, not that we ever have any for more than a couple of nights. The people we host the most (MIL dog and BIL family) tend to arrive and scatter the majority of their belongings around in the most amazing quantity! Since it's usually just two adults and a dog in our place, adding two more adults and two little kids creates chaos, and I love that they feel so much at home that they can do that. They always take it all away again, and we return to peace.

I feel so thankful that they want to come and visit, that they feel welcome and that I have the space to host them :-) I can't wait til we renovate and have a bigger kitchen/diner so we can invite more people, more often!

I don't like it particularly when people strip the beds for me as I don't always want to wash them immediately (I do ALWAYS wash them, for the record :-) and that means I have to get the dust covers back onto the beds asap which I don't always have time to do. I do like it when people make up their beds though.

Washing up is something that anyone is always welcome to volunteer for!

For an extrovert, home is a place to invite everyone you know.
For an introvert, home is a place to *escape from* everyone you know.

Oh, and the most annoying house-guest trait belongs to my brother, who I love to see, but drives me mad sometimes! He has no sense of time, so even if you tell him exactly what time you need to leave in the morning, he will get up late and be very slow to get going. That makes the rest of the day go badly, and ends the visit on a sour note which I don't like. He has always been like that though, and I do wonder if he has some sort of condition which means he has no concept of time. He's pretty good in all other ways, and is extremely intelligent.

Wow, I'm pretty surprised at some of the things people expect. I do expect a guest to be respectful and not trash my place, but it will look like they've lived there because they have. Yes as a guest I automatically watch where they put dirty laundry and follow suit with towels, etc, and I pitch in around the house. But I don't expect it of my guests, either, it's just handy.
I do, however, appreciate when guests bring a book or something to do in the event that I have a meeting or something I can't avoid. I had one friend visit while I was in college who insisted on staying 5 or 6 days and talked about bringing homework, but then refused to do any of it once she was with me! I was sooo frustrated because I had to be borderline rude to receive even an hour of grace for homework, which is obviously not enough during college. Now however, I'm just a more conscious host; oblivious guests are just not invited during busy times while my more gracious guests I don't really worry about. Problem solved.

i almost ALWAYS take my own towel and washcloth with me when i'm a houseguest. i have to admit, though, it's less about the chore burden on my hosts and more because i have had to dry off with way too many 'sour' towels in my day. i cannot abide by drying off with something that smells the second you get it wet and then walking around feeling stinky all day.

they think i'm being polite/i get to control the towel situation = win for everyeone.

<B>LowBrowLawnParty</B>, you tour with a band AND you supply the booze? Need a place to crash in Houston? ;)

I blush to admit that reading these suggestions has me worried that I'm not a great house guest. I aim to be considerate, and I do not leave messes in my wake, but I'm not sure I've ever thought to strip the bed. I <I>make</I> the bed, so at least the room looks nice, but that is all.

Oh well, the more you know.

We're staying with friends in San Francisco for a few days on our next vacation, and they've made it pretty clear that their favorite guests have left them a HUGE bottle of Patron as a gift. :) So guess what we'll be leaving them?

This has been a great post, because we're good guests, but we're not THAT good (except for the Patron part).

We have house guests since March 1, 2010. That's right! 5 months of house guests!!!

What works:
-Pitching in with chores, whether it's running errands, dog sitting, pulling weeds, or doing dishes.
-Making a meal now and then for the hosts.
-Gifting - buying flowers, some tasty cheese, or a dinner out.
Sharing - whether it's books or jewelry. It's nice having a gal pal in the house with a vintage jewelry collection. It's even nicer when she lets you borrow a piece or two.

What doesn't work:
-Inviting other guests over. Bad form. Consult your host first.
-Familiarity breeds contempt. If yours is an extended stay, plan some time away from the house and your hosts. They need a break from being hosts once in awhile. No offense.
-Messiness. This could be just me - I'm a neat freak. Be messy in the guest room, but clean up after yourself throughout the rest of the property.
-Keeping tabs. If you can't afford the money to run the laundry machine and dishwasher more, don't host. If you can't afford the time to devote to helping your guests feel comfortable in a new environment, don't host. If you're not good at sharing, don't host.

This is totally something I am going to start doing! what a glorious idea!! BYOS!!! it's a revolution!!! If i stay somewhere where there is not a bed, i always bring my own Air mattress (because I hate sleeping on the floor!)

http://burningbridgesbnb.blogspot.com/

I adore my houseguests! It's like a party/vacation when they're in town and we do way more activities.
Things I particularly appreciate are
- playing with the kids (trust me it pays to have host's kids be your new buddies)
- leaving the door open to the guest room (it also functions as our study so we may occassionaly need things from it.
- leaving the towels hanging on the provided hooks instead of from the curtain rod (my pet peeve) also
- leaving the door to the bathroom open after a shower, nothing worse than coming into a bathroom that's totally damp because someone steamed it up and then left the door closed.

I live in New York so we constantly have houseguests. The idea of someone bringing their own sheets is wonderful because we live in a five story walk up and it stinks to have to walk up and down all the stairs to the laundry to do sheets, so the guest that's arriving the next day can have fresh sheets. (There are limited storage spaces in an NYC apartment. We only have one extra set of sheets for the air mattress and we often have guests come with no break between them.)

The thing I admire most in a houseguest beyond basic courtesy and cleanliness, is the abiilty to be quiet at night. Because we have such a small apartment, you can very clearly hear what happens in the next room. Due to the nature of my work, some days I have to get up at 3am to get to work and some days I'm trying to sleep in as late as possible to do an overnight shift. Nothing made me more irritated than a roommates guest watching tv loudly until 3am when I had to wake up at 3am.

As we speak, I have house guests from hell. A simple 3-4 night stay has now turned into "We love it here and we've decided to stay 2 weeks!"

A list of DON'Ts to add to the list: 1) Don't say you're coming for a few nights and stay for a few weeks. Hosts have lives and plans, too. 2) Constant griping/sniping/arguing between spouses. Our guests have already had several loud blow-out fights in front of us, their embarrassed and uncomfortable hosts.

But family is family, so we're enduring their mutual hatred as well as the messy teenager who leaves a trail of filth wherever she goes... *sigh*

I can't wait to have my neat, clean, quiet house back!

Don't strip the bed without asking first. Some of us would prefer you to make it neatly. If you strip it, I have to stare at a bare mattress until I find the time to wash the bedding and remake it (obviously, this does not apply when you are using a sofa bed).

Take your host out to dinner, lunch, brunch. If that can't be done because of crazy schedules, buy a food gift, such as good cheese, great wine, some beautiful fruit.

Keep all your bathroom stuff in a small bag or case; don't strew it all over.

Don't use your host's bath towel every darn day, even though your host is providing stacks of clean towels.

Clean up if you miss the toilet.

Leave once in a while. Go out to dinner or a movie, giving your host some quiet time.

I just had a particularly bad experience, with a couple who treated my place like a hotel, and me like a serf. Cleaning someone's pee and poo off your toilet a few times a day will put you in quite a bad mood. They were here a week, and they didn't even take me out for a cup of coffee. Next time they suggest a visit, I'll blow up the house or something.

Personally, my household cannot afford houseguests...
We're too young and too broke, we just have sleepovers with our friends.

I love to have house guests for a couple days and I love to take good care of them - good attitudes, fresh sheets, fresh flowers, simple meals using local ingredients, a local magazine, and good spirits.

My pet peeve is when they can't relax and just be a guest!

To give is to receive, no?

I once brought my own towel to a friend's cabin when I was in high school. Her mom was scandalized. She thought I either didn't think she had enough towels or her towels weren't clean. (In all honesty, I was just used to staying at the YMCA cabins where you had to bring all your own everything.) But I did learn a lesson...a gracious guest is to accept what is offered by the host, no matter what, and a gracious host is to go out of her way to ensure her guest is comfortable. If a guest showed up at my house toting her own bed and sheet, I would insist that she sleep in the nice, clean, crisp sheets I had prepared for her.

I do the dishes, bring my own food, bring my own air mattress, pillow and bath towels. And I'll leave leftovers of anything my host really likes in the fridge.

Overall, I leave everything like I found it. Like putting throw pillows back like I found them, straightening up the sofa after it's been sat on, putting the remote back on the table.

^ I'd like to add to above post that, as a host, I provide everything. Love to cook for guests, prepare place for them to stay, etc.

I always put a lot of effort into being a good host, and try to be a good house guest as well. But my last host made me feel like I was the worst house guest ever. Especially when not being able to pay for everything my host suggested doing, even though said host was running low on money himself. Reading this post however has made me realize that I actually did almost everything (and a lot more) most people here would consider 'great guest behavior'.

Anyone else have similar experiences with hosts making them feel unwelcome and a bad house guest, even though you are trying your best to accompany your hosts wishes?

My houseguest from hell just left and I am so relieved. In 2 weeks she managed to break 2 dishes and 2 glasses, she rifled through my things and used a wood polish on the bathtub (to make it shine!?). Although she did her best to clean the apt while she was here.

I make my bed, clean up after myself, bring a gift, cook meals if we eat it. I don't travel much though. The only place I probably don't do this stuff is when staying with family. Aside from at my parents house, if I stay at my sisters' places then I have to sleep on the couch, so I do fold up the blankets in the morning. My sisters have kids so I think having me around to entertain the kids is enough ;)

Last summer a friend of mine informed me she was coming through town on a road trip. I stupidly assumed this meant her and her boyfriend.

She showed up in a huge van with 6 friends (Stinky, messy, inconsiderate, drunk 26yr old indie kids) in tow and stayed for a week.

I could have straight up murdered her with my bare hands when I opened the door and saw all those people.

When we went to India for vacations, I would always be asked by my mom to fold the sheets, make the bed etc. One of the nicest things I learnt from her was to give some extra money to the maid/driver. After all, extra houseguests means extra work for them!

I don't really expect guests to do anything except bring a gift and put their garbage in the garbage. I wouldn't mind a nice bottle of wine and fancy chocolates. As for doing sheets and dishes, I rather they didn't mess around with my system, it would seem like I'm not capable of being a proper host to houseguests. Plus, I don't like other people washing my dishes. How do I really know they cleaned it properly? As long as they put it in the sink, its the most I would expect someone to do.

Just discovered this thread - so interesting. We've just had 20 people staying, all very good guests. Everyone mucked in, and it was pretty much stress free. When I'm a guest, I shop, cook and clean, it's normal.