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What is sexy in the bedroom? This is the perfect question for this week, and one I thought I'd dive into, diverging from my regular path, because this is my favorite chapter and my favorite room. In recommending colors for the bedroom, I usually recommend cooler colors because they promote rest. But I always get the question, what about sex? Shouldn't the bedroom promote sex as well? Let's discuss, but first, tweet your week.
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How To Make Your Bedroom Sexy
Clean It Up - Before we get to color, let me get some obvious things out of the way. Sexy bedrooms are:
1. clean
2. free of clutter
3. free of home offices or anything that's reminiscent of a chore
You already know that this is what the Cure is all about, so you've got that covered.
Light It Softly - In addition, sexy bedrooms are well lit. We talked about this in the previous week, and what you need is at least three points of light for regular use. They should definitely be table lamps, floor lamps or sconces that throw indirect light into the room, so that the light is SOFT and not harsh.
In the bedroom, shadows are good.
Good, too, are dimmers and - definitely - a candle at bedside for when really low light is desired (a scented candle? I say it's not necessary and can turn some guests off, but if you do it, go natural and keep it mild).
Yes Mirror! - I don't care what people say, it may be bad for feng shui, but it's definitely good for sex. Sara and I once bought a cheap Ikea mirror and turned it into a headboard and it was great until we broke it. :-)
Matteo sheets are all made of crazily high end material to which they do almost nothing (or so it seems)
Better Bedding - Nice bedding, meaning comfortable bedding that expresses the fact that you are CONSCIOUS of your body and like to take care of it is GOOD. Does this mean bedding that costs more? Generally speaking, yes. I will also share with you that I recently bought new sheets (Matteo Vintage Wash Linen Bedding) for our bedroom (as part of my last Cure) which were expensive and they are not only the most comfortable sheets I've slept in in my own home, but they are also very sexy.
Sheets and pillows are the most tactile experience you have in bed (beside bodies) and the very smallest touch of a nice fabric speaks volumes and can create an unexpectedly strong feeling of comfort. Whether you like shiny sateen or raw linen doesn't matter. That's your style. Just make sure that it's real - not synthetic - and better than your guest might expect.
Sexy Colors are Not Necessarily All Red - While warm colors (reds, oranges, yellows) are undeniably stimulating and, for this very reason, red has been closely linked with sex for eons, they are NOT great for sleeping or for making you feel relaxed. If the only goal of your bedroom is to stimulate folks, by all means employ lots of these colors, but if your goal is to be relaxing and ALSO to feel sexy, then I recommend a cooler approach.
I think the art of attracting another person is all about expressing one's comfort with oneself and having style in doing it. A comfortable, cozy lair is a sexy retreat, whereas a bedroom that is too awake and too colorful can be a turn-off.
It's working too hard.
For this reason, I recommend creating a bedroom that you really want to come home to (alone for starters), that employs restful colors on the cooler side of the spectrum (greens, blues, lavenders, greys, browns, neutrals - white is also cool) and then spicing it up with a few hot pillows or artwork for effect.
A bedroom should be a very personal, private space, and it should stand in contrast to the brighter, warmer other rooms in your home. It's a retreat from the rest of the home, and that's sexy.
What does yours look like?
Please comment below...
Another great neutral toned bedroom that feels warm, but not too much so from Paper Flower Girl via this ATLA post
This Week's Assignment:
In the Deep Treatment you are diving headfirst into the bedroom, working to declutter and luxurify your space. I do recommend an air purifier and use them ourselves in both of our rooms. While it may seem to some like an indulgence, keep in mind that indoor air is more polluted than outdoor air and that 8 hours of breathing while asleep means you are sucking in a good deal of the room at night.
One Room Workout? Start Cleaning up! Clean up is as important as set up and it usually takes longer than you think, so start in on it now. Additionally, take a close look at your artwork this week. I always find that people do a disservice to their art by hanging it either too high or in an unflattering grouping. Fixing this can really make a room sing.
Post Index
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Veronica & Keith's Handmade Chic 
Before & After: A Bathroom Goes From Pinky Peach to Sleek and Chic
Good Food to Share 
The Big Book of Small, Cool Spaces 
Apartment Therapy Presents 
The Eight-Step Home Cure 
Hunslet Dinner Plate
A Beginner's Guide to Superb Stir-Fry: Quick, Healthy Meals from a Wok
Easy Pitcher Cocktail Recipe: Strawberry Basil Margaritas
Comments (30)
The only thing the black bedroom is missing is heavy duty I-Bolts secured through bed the posts with handcuffs hanging from them at the ready. I would do awful things in here.
I gotta agree w/ Maxwell.
In addition, sexy bedrooms do not have:
Too many throw pillows
Stuffed animals or dolls
Cowboy, StarWars, Floral-Printed or Christmas sheets
Piles of Clothing
Open Closets or Clothing on Racks
TV sets
Clock Radios
Bookcases
Clutter
Sounds like the guest room will be converted to the sexy room!
I respectfully disagree with you, bespf. Sexy bedrooms MUST have a bookcase. It can make a bedroom even more erotic if there's some D.H. Lawrence, Henry Miller, Anais Nin, Pauline Reage or Marquis de Sade on the shelves.
Question: does anyone know of good quality sheets and duvet covers that are not too too expensive? The ones Maxwell suggested are very nice but a little out of my price range.
"Question: does anyone know of good quality sheets and duvet covers that are not too too expensive? "
both West Elm & Restoration Hardware are doing versions of Matteo's vintage wash linen for less money (and likely less quality). I've had good experience with both Cuddledown & Company Store catalog linens...
Ok- so I usually get really annoyed when folks do this, but, could anyone direct me to the resource for the (above) violet-gray crochet throw? It's lovely fem without being too precious & I must know.
Hunted, I and numerous others have been craving that fantabulous crochet bedspread since it first appeared about a year ago. I just checked back with emma's blog and read all the comments and, most unfortunately, no one has sourced it yet. heavy, heavy sigh. that thing is gorgeous.
The bedspread appears in Elle Maison, where it is referred to as an antique cotton crochet bedspread :-(
I love the bedspread as well; I wonder how dying one would work. I have a cream one in a similar style.
Oh erin- test dye on cotton doilies? report back?
LOL@Jackson's remark.
I AM THE FOCAL POINT OF the BEDROOM!!!
staceymcconn - I have Mateo, Dwell and some other sheets but I have to say my Wamsutta I bought from Bed Bath and Beyond are very soft, well made and hold up for a very long time I would say they are affordable. And use their coupons.
Other sources are Garnet Hill - love their flannel sheets and The Company Store. Check for their sales.
Hunted- I have had that bedspread on my Flickr for a long time and have been on the search. Most likely it comes from Europe.
@TamaraRose --
Perhaps a small stack of books, but not an entire bookcase.
It's a bedroom - Not a library.
only if they're kama sutra books *wink*wink*
as far as sheets...i've had very good luck with bed bath and beyond sheets as well. specifically an organic bamboo sheet set, with just enough stretch in it to fit over my very large queen bed. they get softer as you wash them more and more, and don't tend to stretch out.
my biggest annoyance is a lumpy 'fitted' sheet.
I second The Company Store and Garnet Hill. They are great sources for nice, reasonably priced sheets (especially if you watch for sales).
Ooh, the bedroom! That was one of the top rooms I wanted to work on when I started The Cure. My bedroom definitely needs work. I think I want to paint, but I have no idea what color, so I may wait. It's blue now, but the color they used is a little intense for my tastes. I also think I need a new bedspread and pillows (but I do love the rest of my bedding). I'm getting tired of what we already have. I don't see us hitting sexy in there just yet though. Nothing screams unsexy like a crib, changing table and dirty diaper pail! Maybe next Cure.
I think I will be requesting a crocheted bedspread from my mother for my birthday this year because of that picture. Oh my, I love it. For right now, I can't wait to get to work on this week's assignment. My bedroom is slowly coming together, and this will be a great time to show it some one on one attention. A few things are going to be put off till the summer, like adding a new chest, because I know exactly what I want to do and it includes painting and refinishing, which is not going to get on the to-do list right now. But I can rearrange artwork and clear out clutter (the dresser is my nemesis).
staceymcconn, check overstock and amazon for reasonably priced, quality sheets. Plus, the reviews are extremely helpful. I just bought a new set of sheets for rotation from Amazon to replace a set from Ikea that will be donated to an animal shelter. I haven't used them yet, but they came out of the dryer very nice and relatively wrinkle-free, and they were very highly rated.
Dag, Maxwell. Re: the mirror headboard...TMI, dude ;=)
funny, i was just thinking of Matteo...
sheet source: I LOVE nice sheets but can't think about paying a lot because we have a dog that believes our bed is his. he has been known to turn down the bed before, like a person.
pottery barn outlet. i have bought their linen duvets for $40 before. they have some great deals.
urban outfitters has some coverlets (nice for summer) that are $30 or less. we have a few of them and they are great.
i love marshalls too. i always find nice imported sets for $80 or so that retail for $300 .
I have gotten some wonderfully comfortable, high quality sheets from Overstock.com, along with great down bedding. Garnet Hill is also very good, but price wise, Overstock can't be beaten.
Totally agree with bepsf and jacksonlalonde.
I have stuffed animals. Oh well! I also have one of those flokati rugs, same size, diff color. This pic reminds me to move the flokati rug farther out, maybe. Mine is right up against the bottom of the storage bed. Maybe it would look more grown-up if I pull it away. It sits on top of wall to wall carpet, but I like touching the flokati rug with my feet. The wall to wall is not as luxurious.
oh one thing about mirror in bedroom...this is frequently asked in feng shui related TV shows which are popular in HK :P so the practitioners clarify that mirror is not bad for bedroom but only not recommended for placing it directly facing where u sleep. the original reasoning is out in the dark or wake up in the early morning, it might "frighten" your still not sober mind if catching your own reflection in the mirror...of course it depends on how bad or good ur out-of-the-bed look is :P So having the mirror as headboard actually is not a bad idea after all :P
You can kill the experience of using nice bedlinen by not washing them regularly, say once a week or two. Dust mites (and other stuff as well), people! Remember they fall down on the floor underneath the bed as well, so cleaning really is as important as having the tactile element covered. Lucky for me I have a cat, which is preparing for Summer by shedding hair (like a lot of it), so there's no alternative but to vacuum twice weekly.
While I agree with some parts of bepsf's list, I personally think it's the most important not to treat the bedroom as a storage place for miscellaneous stuff out in the open. In some cases there just isn't enough storage room elsewhere, but that isn't the same as making the storage solution unsexy.
@TamaraRose: Fanny Hill isn't too bad either.
I love the bedroom with the blue wall, absolutely gorgeous, and the other ones are really nice too.
Absolutely private, dark, maybe some glowing lights, luxurious coverings, warm, quiet, no staring, reproachful children or pictures of them.
@Kate (NC) - ha, lovely and so true. I am of the mind that a master bedroom is an adult room. My son and step daughter are hardly allowed in there. That is our sanctuary. I think I was probably in my parent's room about 5 times during my entire childhood. We were NOT allowed in there...
my bedroom is a family room. We all get in bed and read stories, and my son wanders in sometimes and sleeps with us. I don't stop him now- when he's older he won't want to and we'll miss that feeling of closeness.
I don't need a "sexy" room, I do need one that we can get some sleep in. Sexy is all in your brain-not in special sheets or dark walls.....
I was joking about the picture in the above room. Not sexy.
I'm more like you lorijo, snuggle those little ones while you can. On the other hand, don't neglect to close and lock the door and spouse-snuggle too.
Can those washed linen sheets go in the dryer? My apartment laundry dryer doesn't have a "no heat" option and I don't have room to dry sheets anywhere in my apartment.
Nice post. I like the idea of focusing on making the bedroom more of a relaxing area while sexifying it up, as well. Though I disagree about having cool colors and moving clutter. For those of us who still have roommates, making the bedroom function as such while still representing your personal style is important.
My bedroom is a lovely orange sorbet color, and gets tons of light. The brightness makes me happy. And to relax, just need to turn off the lights and light some candles. Though I do also have red satin sheets. Those I recommend :)
This post forgets that some of us live in studios. :) While I actually like bookshelves in the bedroom anyway, since I enjoy reading in bed, I also don't have a choice. However, I have set up my studio so that it just feels like one big bedroom. I have a loveseat and coffee table opposite my bed as my lounge area, but I've definitely chosen to make my queen size bed my focal point and I've used cool and neutral colors (blues, greens, grays, and browns) throughout to keep everything cohesive. Though I have seating areas and a bookshelf, one thing I don't have in my space is a "work" area. If I had a bigger space I might do that, but I am happy to work on my laptop anywhere in my small space and pull the printer/scanner out of my closet when I need it.