my 15lb boston terrier managed to once eat a full loaf of bread. she was VERY fat for a few days.

she also managed to shred a pizza box & scatter it all over the house.

My 22lb terrier mix has destroyed many of my favorite things over the years. Most recently my Nintendo Wii controllers, mini blinds in my apartment and Coach Sunglasses. I've learned to keep things well out of his reach but for a little dog he gets into a lot of mischief.

My 15 lb westie ate an entire plant. My sister came home from work today and he had picked each leaf off of it. Luckily it wasn't poisonous he just felt a little queasy for a day after. What a punk!

1 mini-dachshund pup
1 blue paint pen
my whole basement

1 very unsuccessful all-nighter with a carpet cleaner

http://cozylittlecave.blogspot.com/2009/09/feeling-blue.html

One weekend we left for a single overnight stay only to return to find our cat had pushed a small bowl over the kitchen sink drain and brushed against the faucet lever, resulting in an overflow that soon drained down through the floor into the ceiling underneath, seeping thru the chandelier hole of our neighbor below.

The fun didn't end there, as our cat's mischief was only stopped after our landlord broke in to stop the leak, but the hot summer weather caused our kitchen floors to warp as they dried too quickly. I ended up putting cinder blocks to slow down the warping and later had to use floor nails to soften the misshapen floors further. Thankfully, since those younger kitten years, her antics have become less costly.

I had that with Sully (1 year old Shar Pei mix), when he was newly adopted, only add microwave popcorn, and playing cards EVERYWHERE.

I'm not sure what my 25lb. whoodle ate...

He threw up twice in the middle of the night. When we got up in the morning.. he started from my bedroom.. down the stairs.. through the living.. dining room.. with explosiveness.

A few $100s from the vet later my neighbor offered to watch him (after nothing was left in him). He destroyed the blinds.

Oh and he ate my $100 heels once and a brand new dress , but he still sleeps with me every night :)

Our youngest Siberian Husky tore apart a brand new feather pillow. You wouldn't believe how many feathers are in those things!

Our cat who loves eating things she shouldn't eat found my fiance's stack of acquaintances/business partners' business cards that were wrapped in a rubber band. She proceeded to eat the rubber band, shred the business cards, and then barfed up the rubber band on what was left of the cards. Needless to say, he was not impressed.

Mr Higgins (my bf's 12 lb Norwegian Forest Cat) took a liking to my beautiful camel back love seat's arms. Luckily my bf noticed before it was completely ruined. Now I cover it with tin foil - a lovely look! Unfortunately Mr H has decided to migrate his scratching to the outside arms :(
Must get more tin foil!

I'm a freelance editor who works from home. A few years ago, I was working on an 800 page manuscript to which I'd attached numerous Post-It notes with queries for the author. I came back from the gym--a day before the deadline--to find most of my apartment and my dear, sweet little cat festooned with hundreds of little yellow sticky notes, which she'd removed from the manuscript.

I'm a seamstress who has a sewing area with lots of drafted patterns, etc, as well as pretty (and some expensive!) fabric. One evening it was time to give the cat a worming tablet. She wiggled and struggled and gave us deathglares, but the deed was done and she ran upstairs to sulk. A couple of hours later, she came down and threw up on the carpet, so she was promptly put outside, the carpet was cleaned and all seemed well. Until I got up to go to bed. Vomit at the foot of the (carpeted) stairs. Vomit in the middle of the stairs. Vomit at the top of the stairs. Vomit all over my sewing area including a huge pile of patterns which had to be thrown away. I swear she did it out of spite, and I'm also perplexed as to how so much vomit came out of a smallish cat.

When my boxer / pit mix was about a year old and a new rescue she annihilated a full size brown couch. She tunneled in through he back and reduced all 6 of the large pillows to 1 inch square bits of foam, which she spread (astonishingly evenly) throughout the house. The next day chewed on and destroyed a CD case full of software and a box of baking soda carpet freshener. Thankfully, the couch was ugly, she was totally fine, and is, 9 years later, totally over her separation anxiety.

Woah, that is almost too cute to bear!

I learned the hard way that Mr. Cat will attack anything upholstered that smells like another animal - even a long-dead one.

The mint-condition 1970s wing chairs given to me by a relative who hadn't had a pet since 1986? Shredded.

The antique settee that turned out to be stuffed with goat hair? Shredded, and Mr. Cat chewed off the braided trim.

When I replaced them I opted for a new couch and vintage plywood Eames chairs. He hasn't attacked them once.

The little beast also shredded the original box for my vintage 1950s roller skates, has barfed almost everywhere, and broke my digital camera by knocking it out of the charger.

And I still love him.

i thought at first the opening pic was condom packets strewn everywhere! Lol, my dog, a big beautiful german shepard, ripped the stuffing out of couches, stuffed animals, & took a big bite out of my chemistry text book just to name a few. She would get mad if we didn't come home on time!

Last year I had a Martha moment and decided to create a festive tablescape for the holiday months. Amongst the decor was a large pair of glass hurricane vases containing a candle a piece and vase filler made to look like cranberries (actually just little foam balls with a plastic coating). To my Matilda-cat, this must have looked like hundreds of delightful cat toys.

One day I came home to find that she had removed the vast majority of the "cranberries." I actually caught her in the act: jumping up on the table, standing up on her hind legs, fishing out an individual berry, and then zinging it around the house like a maniac.

This was last December. When I moved last month, we were STILL finding dozens of these things squirreled away all over the apartment.

Our worst incident occurred when we were away for the weekend. Our pet sitters had to rush away quickly in an emergency, but couldn't get the dogs (one Alaskan Malamute, Panda, & one German Shepherd mix, Kajol) to go into the finished-but-unfurnished basement where they stay when alone. So the pet sitters decided to jingle the dogs' leashes and make like they were going for a walk, while leading them down to the basement. Once the dogs were in the basement, they shut the door and left.

Kajol & Panda did their best to destroy the basement in retaliation for this trickery. Door frames chewed up, built-in counters chewed up, entire stretches of dry WALL chewed up... Big dogs can really do some damage when they set their minds to it. Kajol, the destroying-instigator, is now crated when left alone.

Another time, before we started crating her, Kajol shut herself in the basement bathroom by mistake while we were out. She panicked. I'm surprised she didn't break the vanity mirror - she managed to almost everything else.

Then there's the time, while crated, that she caught the edge of my down blanket, and pulled it in. It was summer, so we had a rotating fan going to keep her cool in the crate. We returned that day to see an inch of feathers covering every surface in our bedroom.

My 10 month old english bulldog, scooted his wire cage off the tile and onto the carpet, and then ate a HUGE chunk of carpet.

When I first adopted Owen the non-designer Schnoodle, I had small trash cans without lids in the bedroom and bathroom. While I was at work, he'd pull out all the Kleenex and paper, chew them, shred them and drag them all over the house. Paper everywhere. I'd come home to find him sitting proudly in the middle of his mess. A trip to Target and two step-cans later, the problem was solved.

My other dog Sam I would swear has hidden opposable thumbs. He can get into anything and leave no trace of his involvement. A friend visited once and he had an unopened bag of jerky in his zipped-up duffel, which was behind a closed door in the guest room. We came back from dinner and the door, the duffel and the bag were open and the jerky was gone. No scratch marks on the door. No teeth marks on the bag. He did the same thing with some dental bones I put in a latched Rubbermaid container on top of the microwave. Came home to find the box open and the packaging neatly disassembled -- again no teeth marks. I can only hope he shared the spoils with Owen.

my turd of a dog once nearly gave me a heart attack. came home from something only to find what could only be explained as katrina part two in my kitchen:

http://www.kethywang.com/post/141952543/whatthefuckiswrongwithmydog

oh yeah. and not to mention the GAJILLION times this turd of a dog has eaten chocolate. and cocoa powder. and dark chocolate. and white chocolate. and milk chocolate. and chocolate bars. and into the cats' food. and into the buckets of his own food. and the trash.

seriously. i don't even know why i bother.

My husky I had as a kid once ate an entire roll of that black tarp-like tree wrap. It kept coming out her rear end for a week, we'd have to trim it off every day or she'd trip on it and yelp. We felt sorry for her of course, but it was hilarious at the same time.

This is the same dog that spent one afternoon while we were gone hopping over our garden fence, grabbing one summer squash, hoping back over the fence, taking one bite only to find out that the squash wasn't ripe, and decide to try again with a new squash....... over and over and over again. We had every single squash our garden produced that summer all over the backyard, with one bite in each one.

Our current dog has a weird habit now of on Sundays when my parents go to church, he gets into our wastebasket in the living room, and takes out precisely one used kleenex, and shreds it right in front of our front door, so that when my parents get home they know how DISTRESSED he was that they left him along for two hours.... this is the only time he does this, it's always only on Sunday mornings.

Several years ago, I hosted my very first Thanksgiving for my husbands family. His grandmother brought her coveted pumpkin pies (two of them), which everyone was looking forward to enjoying. Well, our Doberman was tall enough to nab anything from the counterop, and she somehow managed to eat both pies without anyone noticing...all that was left was crumbs! She had really bad gas the next couple of days, but that was all.

My sweet beagle, Spicy, who was 7 at the time, stole the leftover Christmas chicken from the dining table while we were napping after dinner. She picked all the bones clean and left a big mess on the floor.
Luckily, she wasn't hurt but my mother was not pleased!!

gatsby, my dear awkward mutt who appears to be a mix of rhodesian ridgeback and dachsund (take a moment to picture it) and I lived in a tiny studio a few years ago. My cabinet space was minimal and I kept my pantry on an ikea bookcase. All the lower shelves contained products I deemed uninteresting to pups...I was wrong. I came home one day to find that gatbsy had broken into my large bottle of vegetable oil and licked up every last drop of it...only to then throw it up across the room.

oh and then a couple of days later after I had purchased a brand new bottle of vegetable oil...he did the exact same thing.

In my 20s, I lived in a 200 sq. foot (if even that big) studio in NYC. After September 11th occurred, I adopted a puppy from a shelter to assauge my grief. Named her Anna. Trying to be a good, responsible dog owner, I hired the neighbor boy to come over every day after school to walk Anna and keep her company while he played on my computer and such. This worked well and meant that Anna would only be alone for a few hours in the morning every day.

However, the company I worked for closed its New York office and I was forced to take a job with much more demanding hours. Anna could not handle being alone for additional hours a day and started digging a hole in the drywall to try and chase after the neighbor boy when he left. It was like she was the prisoner in the ShawShank Redemption. Each day, the hole got bigger and bigger.

To stave off her loneliness, I had a brilliant idea of getting *another* puppy to keep her company.This actually worked quite well and the hole digging stopped -- except the two became such great friends that they started to collude on how best to destroy our tiny living space.

One night, I came home to discover that they dug a gigantic hole in the twin bed mattress that all 3 of us slept on. This hole was big enough to fit my entire rear in. For reasons not worth going into here, it wasn't feasible to replace the mattres, so I flipped it over and the 3 of us (myself and my 2 60 lb mutts) slept on the sunken, hollowed out mattress for next 15 months until we finally left NYC for more spacious pastures.

This story was only the most extreme example. Mutt #2, named Sophie, also ate (not chewed, but ate) 1/2 a set of bookshelves. Anna is quite adept at stealing at my now-husband's breakfast off the table. Etc, etc. But 8 years and many world travels later, these 2 mutts are absolutely my best and most loyal friends.

I have a parrot and I feel marginalised by your assumption that pets = dogs and cats. Having said that he is only small so the damage he has done is limited to shredding tissues (any tissue, any time, directly to atoms), chewing the edges of pages off books, and throwing food everywhere. He also has a fixation with pushing things off tables etc so any paperwork or coasters are gone and once we almost lost my husband's wedding ring because the parrot dropped it off the bedside table and it almost rolled into the floor vent.

When I was younger my mother had a base of peacock feathers in her bedroom that our cairn puppy decided would look better distributed evenly all over the bed, and did so, multiple times.

I was having a terrible day today until I got to AT. I needed the laugh that I got from reading these posts! I feel 'normal' about my two furry balls of trouble. They have mellowed out in old age, but when they were younger I used to be afraid to come home from work.

The smaller dog decided to occupy himself one day by chewing up several small potted plants that he managed to somehow reach. He chewed up the plants into tiny bits which were strewn around the living room, he ground the potting soil deep into the rug (I could never get it completely clean again) and even shredded the plastic pots into tiny bits. To make matters worse, he seemed so very pleased with himself about the whole thing and was proud to display his handiwork when I got home.

A funnier bit of mischief was when he managed to get into an unopened and sealed box of pepto bismol tablets. I came home to find the pink tablets crushed and ground into rug in the living room along with bits of plastic packaging. His elimination was abnormal for about two weeks after that (serves him right), but otherwise he was fine.

When my pug, Benny, was a puppy, he dug an unopened bag of gross Valentine's Day candy out of the trash and consumed every last gummy heart and candy Cupid. When I got home, he was rushing around the house at full tilt, knocking over everything in sight. Suddenly, he got a huge pink thing, started howling at the window like a wolf, and began projectile vomiting what looked like Pepto-Bismol.

That was so much fun.

As a kitten, Bailey loved to play with rolling things. She stole pie weights, and rolled them around the expansive floors in my parents' great room at Thanksgiving.

If she found a marble, she would wait until the solitude that comes at 2am, take it to the top of the stairs, and drop it down them (solid wood). "Plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk plunk plunk"...and she'd go tear-assing after it to catch it before it hit the wall across from the bottom of the stairs. Over and over and over...

She also liked to steal the chap-stick my dad keeps stashed in a corner of the bookcase at the head of their bed. She'd roll it around the floor, but we never would find it again. Months later, we discovered her caught in the cupboard under the sink...with a stash of about 30 chap-sticks and shredded paper towels. She'd been climbing up under the breakfast bar, over the back of the cupboard and into her "nook." Where she was storing her toy stash.

As she grew up (she's a 16lb Maine Coon), she wasn't able to fit through that tiny space, until one day she was stuck!

Hey, Popsicle, did your feather pillow look something like this? http://www.flickr.com/photos/cdulude/3333363576/

Oh, and this? All these posts? Are the reason I adopt adult pets. I have never had a serious problem with my 8yo doberman, or either of my 3yo cats. Not as cute, so much easier, and much more appreciative.

My cat has a weird habit of dragging my clothes and sometimes blankets (when no clothes are accessible) out of my room and around my apartment! I always have to warn guests so they don't think that I'm the slob!

I have 3 loving adult cats. One opens the bathroom cabnate to play with umm the woman items. The other sleeps in the closet, I shut the door and he gets trapped and the third wanders around and gets underfoot. I love um though

This isn't so much about mischief, just strange things my cat does. I have a wonderful young cat named Schrodinger whom I rescued earlier this year. He's a very odd cat who has a penchant for stealing random objects and leaving them in piles scattered around my tiny apartment. Once, when my roommate was cleaning, she came across a pile of plastic cutlery that he'd been stealing off the counter and collecting in the corner near the pantry. Another object he loves stealing is the sponge from our kitchen sink. We usually keep two, but he'll only take one (never both) and hide it in the closet. He doesn't chew or suck on it, he just grabs it, and hides it. In addition to these quirky behaviors, he's fascinated (and I mean FASCINATED) by water going down drains. Most of the time whenever anyone flushes the toilet, he'll run into the bathroom from wherever he is and perch himself on the back of the seat to watch the water flush.

He's a very odd cat.

And he HATES cardboard boxes.

My weimaraner dog slept on my vintage Hans Wegner daybed when he knew I wasn't home. I came home one day to find the recently re-covered seat area ripped with stuffing coming out. Apparently he was startled when someone rang the doorbell and his toenails dug in as he got traction to leap off the bed to bark at the intruder. He also ruined a blind and scratched the front door badly as he pawed repeatedly to see who was at the door. He also managed to knock over and break a ceramic umbrella stand by the door during the same episode.

My lab mix liked to chew and I was used to finding shredded remains of garbage, mail, and anything she could reach on the counter. I got home from work one day to find my living room floor completely covered with foam rubber bits from what used to be all four cushions of a loveseat.

My 10 lb cat ate a whole fiber one bar...opened the wrapper, and just nommed the whole thing...
think about it- thats 35% of your daily fiber...for a cat! YIKES!

When I adopted my cat she investigated every last square inch of my apartment, which included stepping on my answering machine and erasing all my messages.

My now-boyfriend came over to my house after our second date. We were sitting on the couch chatting when my cat Harvey jumped up into his lap, started purring and then turned around and relieved himself on his lap.

I was mortified. And he had never had a problem not using his box.

We now live together, and this cat ADORES my boyfriend. So much so that the day we got back from a long vacation, Harvey made it clear how much he missed him by going again in my boyfriend's laundry basket.

I guess we're stuck with weekend trips now.

Petsitting a friend's Boxer.
Amorous night with my friend.
Missing condom.

That's all I will say.

Some of the funniest things I've read in while!
First story: The "Kitten" (who is no longer a kitten but she's part of the litter of the adult cat I also adopted) likes to scratch and claw at soft tissue-y items covered in plastic; meaning items like toilet paper, paper towels and, yes, women's sanitary napkins. One long weekend out of town I must've left a package of 'items' on the countertop after a flurried shopping trip and the catsitter forgot to show up the first day - well, Kitten managed to go thru a whole package of indvidually wrapped sanitary napkins. And then the times where she has dug into my purses to find these items as I've watched. I assume the plastic has a unique smell?? It's not as if I carry these items every day.
Second story: friend of a friend had a standard poodle. One evening, the friend had baked "special" brownies and then went for a walk while they cooled; only to return and find the dog had eaten most of the pan of brownies. Appearantly not such a big cause of concern because the choclate was counterindicated by the marijuana...and the dog was OK.

My dog ate a box of Bisquick- minutes before the realtor called wanting to show the house.
Bad dog!

http://ironbunny.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/the-great-bisquick-incident-of-2007/

My old cat named Bob had a penchant for chewing through my bra straps.
I used to have a parrot named Gomez who was a little green shit. In love with my mother, nobody else could touch him or get near him. I would try to bribe him to like me with tasty bits of fruit and such, and he would take them in his beak... only to toss said tasty morsel into the air and yell, "Wheeeeee!" to emphasize his his dislike for me. Or perhaps in indignation that I assumed that his affections could be bought...
My current dog, Luna likes to get into the trash can as soon as we leave the house. Once she got into a styrofoam takeout container that had some curry sauce left in it. Her whole head smelled like curry, and when we tool her into the yard to pee, she repeatedly wiped her face on the rain-fresh grass, but that apparently didn't help, as she kept wiping her paws over her eyes for hours because they were still burning... I gave her some eye drops!

My old cat named Bob had a penchant for chewing through my bra straps...

although frankly I was impressed that he somehow managed to unzip the back of my dress first...

My 12 pound poodle was left home alone more than usual one week while I was pulling double shifts at work and finals at school. She didn't like this new development and chose to demonstrate her unhappiness by breaking into the fridge, pulling a rump roast off the lower shelf, dragging it through the dining room, into the living room...where she proceeded to eat it ON THE COUCH.
Curious to figure out how this tiny little dog opened the Sub Zero fridge, we boobytrapped the kitchen with a video camera of and on for the next two months (whenever we'd cooked something really good and stored it in the fridge). All we ever got was a lot of video of a poodle walking into the kitchen, sniffing the fridge, looking over her shoulder directly at the camera, cocking her head, snorting and padding her way out of the kitchen! Little devil just couldn't be caught!

My cat Lenny possesses "unusual manual dexterity." He's one of those cats who likes to eat out of his paws and drink by dipping one paw into a glass over and over. He also loves to scoot things around with his paws. Things like drinking glasses (smash), crockery (smash), small electronic devices (clunk), keys, and on one memorable occasion, not one but TWO laptop computers, resulting in hard drive replacement for one. My husband and I are now trained to never, NEVER leave an unattended glass on any surface. Just the sight of one at someone else's house makes my heart start to thump in alarm. It was always especially fun when he shattered a glass that wasn't quite empty.

Once we went out of town for four days, and our cat Steve managed to pull a 40-lb sack of cat food off the top of a six-foot storage shelf in our back room. Even though it was one of those nylon-reinforced bags, he tenaciously chewed through it until the threads were exposed, then ripped them apart. We came home and found their automatic feeder food untouched and the back room (of course the only carpeted room in that apartment) COVERED in kitty kibbles. We now keep their food in a five-gallon bucket with a tight-latching lid.

Without the ability to have a garden outside my boyfriend and I planted an indoor garden in a bunch of planters. It was getting close to the time to harvest our lettuce but my boyfriend insisted on "just a few more days" before we enjoyed our salad. We went away that weekend leaving our 2 kitties alone with a bunch of extra food and returned to find the entire planter of lettuce completely devoured. They also really love to eat chives....what weird kitties.

I have two from my dog Dylan's younger puppy days:

1. I was training him to stay alone in my apartment all day day, so far he'd been good without a crate. I stopped home from work at lunchtime to check on him, to discover a box of Tide powder he had dragged, open, all over the apartment. It looked like a blizzard!

2. One night I caught him rifling through the trash, he darted away with something in his mouth. It was a coffee filter full of wet grounds, and he proceeded to dash into my room and onto my bed, in an attempt to bury it between the pillows.

My pit bull puppy is a little terror. He chewed the corner off my mom's $4,500 Stuckley coffee table, ate the trim off our mahogany doors, destroys every chew toy and then some, and on his daily lizard hunts, he has pounced on all the shrubs and made them flat and dead. He somehow manages to drag enormous palm fronds, tree branches and cattails through the doggie door and SHREDS them all over the porch, where you will find many tailless lizards awaiting a terrible, terrible puppy-induced death.

I love him still! But mom hates him :[

OH! And one night my friends kitty ate our bag of mushrooms! The whole bag!

My boyfriend and I have a one year old basset hound named Oliver St. Claude. He's a helluvah hound! On more than one occasion he has created a blizzard in the bathroom, shredding the roll of toilet paper into the teensiest of pieces. I have yet to see him in action, but you know this has to be fulfilling in some way. He seems so proud of himself, yet he knows he's busted all the same.
Oliver also has a fetish for mommy's make-up. After an evening out with friends, we returned to find he had some unusual splotches on his nose. After closer inspection we realized that it was mascara and red lipstick...turn the corner and found the evidence. Make-up, brushes, deceased grandmother's hair comb, everything.
He's such a loveable boy, it's difficult to be angry with him. It's just a reminder that while we're away, anything is game.

we have a welsh corgi and he is a trouble maker.

-while doing laundry knocked a glass bowl off a shelf and proceeded to eat it (don't worry, he is safe)

- would get into the tub to get my wife's leg razors because he thought they were chew toys (he's still fine)

- got under the bed and ate a deck of cards

- got mad that we didn't play ball with him while watching a movie, proceeded to go behind a chair a sulk / eat a hole in the wall

- many many more, the list goes on

most of those were when he was a puppy though, he is a lot better now and had calmed down. Every once in awhile that side comes back out.

When I got my puppy, my friend also got a puppy from the same litter. Her roommate was allergic, so I promised to watch him for 2 months until the end of her lease (she later had to give him up because she couldn't find a job and I had been paying for his vetting, but I couldn't take care of 2 puppies). One day, one of the puppies had peed on the carpet and so I grabbed them both to run outside, and then I came back in to clean up the mess. I walked in just in time to see the other puppy pee in the exact same place!

Oh, and I will never forget the day that they each peed six times in the course of an hour. The joys of housebreaking :)

cdulude, yup, looks about right.

It's the middle of the night, I wake up to the sound of crackling, the sound stops - starts, someone's breaking in! I get out of bed, I grab the phone and an umbrella and creep through the house, nothing in the bedroom, bathroom's clear, nothing in the living room, nothing in the dining room, to the last room, the kitchen... I ready for battle and flip on the light!

There he is!

My cat, who has opened one of the upper kitchen cupboards, is fully inside the cupboard and having carefully unrolled the top of the tortilla chip bag, and is happily crunching away. He sees me, his eyes open wide, he tries to extract himself from the bag but can't, comes flying out of the cabinet with the bag on his head, tortilla chips flying everywhere!

I laughed so hard I hurt his feelings...
and that's how he suckered me into giving him tortilla chips forevermore.

I have a really greedy Chocolate Lab. He will eat anything left around him unattended. One time he got into the trash and ate many many bad things including aluminum foil that smelled like a roast and a few corks from a bottle of wine. He was sick for days. He'd throw up in the closet which we made into a library and fill it with an inch of vomit at a time. Pieces of aluminum and cork included.
He also likes to "pick up" things on his walks. One time he brought home another dog's turd and dropped it on the rug in our living room right when we got in. I didn't notice he had anything in his mouth until we got home.

Do you happen to recall, Kyle, being at my house on Labor Day weekend to help us with our spare room, and the dog decided that it was a great time to take a running pee all over the stuff we had removed from the room we were redecorating? Yeah, that was AWESOME.

These stories are hysterical! I feel so much better about our pug puppy knowing that many people have had much worse experiences. I will say that our puppy has one of the grossest habits - we have two cats and he likes to go "treasure hunting" in their litter box. Not only does he hunt for treasure, he then extracts it, brings it onto the couch or the middle of our living room rug, and plops down to enjoy a tasty little snack. Let me tell you, having to clean poop out of a dog's mouth is one of the nastiest things...

Once, when my cat Siri was little, I had to shut him in my bedroom when I went away for a weekend. When I got back it looked like that scene from The Parent Trap where they trash each other's cabins--he'd gotten into my yarn and tangled it around everything in the room. He's also gnawed into and eaten a box of cereal before, though he's much better now that he's older.
One of my parents' cats used to shred toilet paper whenever they went out of town, and another had a stuffed gorilla that she kneaded on until it was bald.

Jmoorey, I think your corgi is the reincarnation of the Great Houdini!

My dog is currently trying to chase my cursor around the screen. Typing her own kind of gibberish and making wet nose marks all over the screen at the same time.

I live in San Francisco. That becomes relevant. Boyfriend takes dog for walk in park then goes to gym. Dog is home and acting funny. Then more funny and then falling over and having seizures. I call him to race home and go to the emergency vet cuz dog is dying. We get to the vet and the SECRETARY looks at him and writes something on a post-it note and slides it across the counter. "Marijuana?" I said, no, we really don't have any in the house, it isn't possible. After arguing they asked where the dog was 1/2 before symptoms? You got it, in a park in San Francisco. 'Nuf said. So I replied, are you telling me my dog is HIGH? Do i just take him home, give him Ben and Jerry's and put in Cheech and Chong? He was actually really sick, but it makes for an interesting story ; /

i laughed out loud when i saw the photo. that dog's got the most angelic expression!!!!!

Sounds like most of these dogs are in need of more attention and exercise. A tired dog is a good dog.

my cats have eaten through about 12 pairs of earbud headphones in the past 4 or 5 months. First it was my fault because I would leave them out on tables. Then, I started putting them in my purse, but they would dig through my purse to find them. Even in a velcro compartment of my backpack. Now, I put them in a zippered change purse. THEY CAN OPEN THE ZIPPERS WITH THEIR PAWS AND TEETH.
They also take rings and earrings out of my jewerly box on a high shelf in the bathroom by opening the drawers with their paws.
I think they think they are humans.

Puppy is 35 pounds of smart. When I got her from the Humane Society, she was 7 months old. Since I didn't know her chewing habits, I caged her while I went to work. Each night, she would greet me at the door - outside of her cage. Turns out she was thin enough to squeeze though the square openings of the dog cage. And then she began to chew things while I was gone. Puppy would only destroy items that were gifts from a friend. After awhile, my friend seriously doubted the validity of, "My dog ate the ______ you gave me".

For a 7 mos old/ 13 lbs terrier mix, Stanley has left a path of destruction in our Brighton apartment that rivals Sherman's March to the Sea.

1. In the ten minutes it took me to shower one morning, he ate through the power cord of my Sony laptop (100 dollar replacement).

2. Stanley gnawed the heel off a beloved pair of birkenstocks I've worn since my pot-smoking hippy dippy days in high school (irreplaceable).

3. digested the foam handles and elastic cord of my resistance bands that I thought I'd put out of his reach
($12 dollars).

4. A LINOLEUM FLOOR. oh yes, you heard me. this little guy went to town one afternoon shortly after we had a new dishwasher installed that didn't leave the old linoleum completely seamless. Stanley exploited that flaw to the fullest and had some sorry poops for a few days. ($60 for the rug we bought to cover it; ??? for the day we pull it up and refinish the hardwood?? Maybe the linoleum offended Stanley's style sensibilities, after all.

5. Destroyed the spindles on two dining room chairs.

My recently deceased Pringle decided to eat a green sharpie marker on the handwoven Belgian linen/silk carpet.....there was no saving the carpet --- but the dog was fine.

crate training is the best, then this happens way less often.
that said, during shower time or when we're just not paying attention while home, with our two 50 lb pit mixes we've experienced chewed favorite sweater, pair of glasses, cell phone, needle and thread (thrown up later), pillow shreading, tshirts, bras, etc.

We had a 6ft tall Paper Lamp in the Living Room. My cat Giovanni launched himself off the sofa and then in true Pirate style shredded the thing from the top down.

I had a cat that loved jumping into any type of bag in college. And one day I was running late and unknowingly rushed out with the cat in my bag. During class I heard a meow. I unzipped my bag and there her head poked out.

So now, we FINALLY have the answer to the eternal question, "Who let the cat out of the bag?"

My little shih-tzu poodle mix troublemaker, Mini (named after the car not the mouse), has always had an issue with knowing what things are okay to have in her mouth.

I had just spent a good $500 at my dentist getting fitted for a mouth guard the week before since I have the horrible habit of grinding my teeth at night. I wake up one morning to run in our living room to answer my cell phone, rip the mouth guard out of my mouth so that I don't sound like Cindy Brady talking, and set it down on the coffee table. I sat on the couch right in front of it so I wasn't too worried about Mini grabbing it. My boyfriend (who was the one that called) had asked me to check on something for him in the room. I run into the room, grab what he asked for and return to the living room. I look up and there is Mini sitting on our floor pillow with something in her mouth. As soon as we make eye contact, the little rascal bolts. I glance at the coffee table and notice the missing mouth guard, and all I can scream is "Noooooooooooooo! Nonononononono!". Granted the mouth guard is meant to be in a mouth, but not in HER mouth.

My cat loves to eat my elastic hair ties. She sniffs them out and gobbles them up like food.

One night she was screaming like a banshee in the utility closet. I came running just in time to see her throw up no less then 30 of those bad boys.

I took pictures (of course) and texted them to every family member.

I'm really, really careful now about leaving them around the house. I'm so scared it will block up her intestines and kill her.

She has also destroyed the posts on my 200 year old bed. There are hundreds of tiny scratch marks along 4 feet posts at the end of the bed. She crawls up and yells because shes too scared to jump down.

birdablaze, my cat destroyed my antique bed too. I always joked about the meaning of the notches in the bed posts though. My cat just thought it was a fancy scratching post.

We got our dog, mocha, from a shelter. The day after we got her, I went to the store to buy more chicken (she was so malnourished she could only eat cooked, pureed chicken and rice). Got home, she had dug a hole in EVERY. SINGLE. MATTRESS. AND COUCH CUSHION. Right in the middle. Sigh. Could have killer her then and there. Had to convince boyfriend not to kill her. She's 12 years old now, had her for 7 years, and that's the ONLY time she has ever wrecked anything.
Our 18 month old Chocolate Lab though... still have to convince hubby not to kill her every freaking day. True to the Lab standard, she eats anything and everything in her path. You simply CANNOT leave food unattended. We put baby locks on our fridge because she learned to get into it (for as stupid as she acts, she's like a professional burglar). She eats cat poop. She eats baby poop. She eats cat food. Plastic ANYTHING. A few months ago she pried poen the fridge and ate a pound of lard. LARD! She has eaten BAGS of apples, used condoms (barf), sponges, barbies... so basically we have had to baby proof our house more than we ever did for our kids. Tootsie (Chocolate Lab) is getting better at knowing what NOT to eat, but food is still target #1 for her. Oh and yeah, she brought a dead, bleeding mole into the house once. Last week she ate 4 rolls of toilet paper then barfed it up on our bed. It was on the bathroom counter for maybe 2 minutes before she snagged it. Now we have a spray bottle with water that we shoot her with when she grabs something off limits- it's working amazingly well! :D Our vet told us that dogs like cat poop because cats are carnivores, and their poop still has plenty of protein in it that dogs loooove. Who knows, but it's freaking gross anyways.
I agree with the post above "tired dog is a good dog". But sometimes, you can't tire the dog out. Ours plays fetch and walks for HOURS every day but she's still a nutjob.

Oh forgot to add her most... colourful exploit- Tootsie, last month, ate a huge box of sidewalk chalk. You can IMAGINE the end result- technicolour poop all over the front lawn. The neighbor thought it was hilarious.

HAHAHAHAHA I just read the one about the cat Harvey relieving himself on her date. My cat did that once- my boyfriend at the time (now hubby) as asleep, covers pulled up over his head. Kitten climbed up on him, which was normal. Then proceeded to PEE on hubbys head through the covers. Oh eff, it was hilarious. Not so much for hubby- he FREAKED OUT. Threw said cat out the back door and had like an hour long shower while cursing about cat piss and hating animals. Fast forward 5 years, and the two of them are BEST FRIENDS.