I have a few tips! When my then-boyfriend now-husband moved in with me, it was into my apartment. I had already decorated it and did not hang up a lot of his pictures, etc. Now that we moved into a new place, I make a concerted effort to display items that he loves, like pictures he took from trips or artwork he purchased. I also run decisions by him- he often has really great ideas!

As for not how to drive eachother crazy- have two tvs. I don;t know about you, but we love TV and it is necessary that we each can retire to our own space and watch what we like. We also have two DVRs so we are not fighting over "space" on the DVR.

Pets should be introduced to the new place earlier than the move in date if that's possible. Take your pet to the new place and let them walk around and become familiar with it. I'm familiar with dogs but I think the same is true for cats. If you have a dog, lead him/her around on a leash to explore and sniff around. I would suggest that on moving day you immediately place your pet's things in an area of the home to make/him comfortable and feel like it's a familiar space - pet's bed, toys, crate, etc.

My only other moving tip is to move all fragile/expensive items yourself, and leave the other stuff up to the movers.

My boyfriend and I moved in together a year and a half ago, and the best advice I have is to remember that it is a transition for both of you. Keep that in mind to help the bumps in the road work themselves out. Having a little extra patience goes a long way when you are figuring out how your natural dynamic as a live-in couple.

We also have two cats -- one had been living with me for years, the other with my mom. Letting them take their time to get comfortable was huge. They both went through weird phases (one cat slept under the dresser for a couple months, another was in the closet all day every day), but they both came around eventually.

Congrats! Your question is huge, but here are a couple of thoughts:

-If you have a cat, it's sometimes helpful to introduce them to one room for a day before letting them out to explore the entire apartment/house. They get really anxious in new places.

-My partner and I moved in together about 6 months ago. I think my advice would be to take a little time and figure out how you use the space before you start drilling holes :) Furniture is pretty easy to rearrange, so find a configuration you like and then decorate around it.

-One of the first meals I made was a picnic. Some cold salads and sandwiches on a blanket on the living room floor.

Have fun :D

Before you make this decision, I'd suggest reading the New York Times article, "The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage."

Figuring out housekeeping routines that don't make one person resentful of the other is really hard. We tried a whole variety of tactics (lists, schedules, trades) and had a few big knockdown fights before we got a twice a month housekeeper. I wish we had of done that sooner.

I'd say, always focus on giving each other space to do/have/display the things you love, while also making sure that neither of you has to put up with too many things you hate. Perhaps this seems simple to the point of being silly, but my boyfriend (now husband) and I have always found it works well for us. Examples:

chores - I hate washing dishes, he hates laundry; I do laundry, he does dishes,

food - I'm vegetarian, he loves meat; he cooks one or two meaty things on the weekend and uses these to supplement the vegetarian meals we make throughout the week,

space - he plays video games to relax, I'm not a big fan. No matter the size of the place we live in, we find place (inconspicuous corner or small room) for his computer. He decorates however he wants, but also does me the courtesy of wearing headphones while he plays.

Ditto on the giving it time before you nail things down or invest in new furniture. We were surprised at how much differently two people used a space than one person, and moved around our furniture a few times in first few months before getting it quite right.

Also, going heavy on the takeout/delivery when first moving in to a new place is practical what with everything else going on, and I find it to be a fun way to explore the new neighborhood (and necessary to find my new go-to place!).

The first time you use your oven, do something forgiving like a casserole, not a fussy dessert, while you figure out its tendencies.

I'm mightily resisting the urge to point out the issues that frequently come about when a couple cohabitates before making any permanent commitment. Instead I'll make these suggestions:

Be realistic about how much space you need. My then-fiance, now husband moved into my one-bedroom apartment because we thought we could just buy a few storage items and make it work. About a billion fights later (mostly because he likes clutter and I was territorial because it was my first "nice apartment"), we moved into a two-bedroom to start fresh.

Have a conversation before moving in about private time and personal space. My husband needs lots of attention, and I need lots of privacy. Working out a compromise was a huge challenge.

Be realistic about housekeeping. My husband unloads the dishwasher and puts everything in random-to-me locations (sometimes even locations I can't reach). But the point isn't what he does wrong, it's that he unloads the dishwasher. Don't obsess over everything being done your way to your standards - so long as the place is clean and relatively neat, try to go with the flow. "Will I care about this six months from now?" is a good question to ask yourself before criticizing your partner's housekeeping style.

Have a conversation about what happens if you break up. Who keeps the apartment? Who moves out? How will joint possessions be divided? Truth is, too many cohabitating couples stay together out of inertia as well as because they didn't discuss these things in advance. If this conversation is too awkward or unpleasant, then don't move in together at all. Simple as that.

Cesar Millan has some great tips for introducing a dog to a new home. Don't let them wander around on their own. They need to know you're with them and still in charge... Go for long walks to keep them tired and relaxed, then (as the cat advisor previously mentioned) take them into one room at a time, be with them, then return them to "their" space with a treat and some affection, before giving them some quiet time to relax and process. Then go for another long walk! :)

I agree with everything you said. A lot of times, things just won't come up until you move in with someone. Housekeeping is a major one. You have to be on the same page when it comes to responsibilities, especially when it comes to the bills. Are you keeping your utilities separate or putting both names on everything? Those are really important.

Congrats on moving in :) It's a wonderful thing to share the space with someone you love. (there's no need to be so judgmental about it!)

My now husband and I moved in with eachother to a new apartment after a few months of dating...then a year later we moved to a rental house, and now we're in the process of moving again...the number one thing I learned was to organize EVERY space together! AKA: I always organized the kitchen and my husband would have no clue where anything would or should go--he wanted to help out, but it made him frustrated that he wasn't sure exactly where things went. Now, we learned, when we move into a new space, to organize and make decisions about where the silly stuff goes together.

Also, don't hang up paintings or artwork until you've lived there for a few weeks! You may need to rearrange furniture, or whole rooms, and you don't want to have a million holes in the wall.

Mostly, enjoy it--it's a magical time getting to know each other in that new sense, as roommates! Our first meal in a new place is usually take out on the floor, on a blanket :)

My partner and I moved in together about 6 months ago, and could not be happier! Congratulations!

I am definitely happy that we both moved in to a new apartment, instead of one person moving into the other person's apartment. It made it a lot easier to mix everything together and make "our space." I also recommend sitting down and talking very specifically about your design and set-up needs.

Here's what I mean: My partner wanted to be able to spend some time alone sometimes. He also wanted his bookshelves in the living room, and he likes having large coffee table with storage. He also likes to sleep on one side of the bed, but he also wants that one side pushed up against a wall.

Meanwhile, I wanted to sleep on whichever side of the bed had a nightstand, and I prefer to have cleared surfaces in the living room. I also don't like having my laundry basket outside of my closet, and I needed my desk to be in the second bedroom because I can't get work done in the living room.

In the end, we had to work out some compromises. The second bedroom is our office, and because my partner uses it for "me time" and I use it for work, the general rule is that we don't chit-chat while we're both in there. We found a location for our bed that met our needs, and we managed to find a good IKEA coffee table that has storage, but doesn't look cluttered when we're not using items. Stuff like that!

Household chores tend to be shared, with some exceptions. My partner has OCD and cannot easily clean the bathroom, while I irrationally hate taking out the trash. He also needs to do laundry more frequently than I do, so he's in charge of it. I like the dishes put away a certain way, so I'm in charge of unloading the dishwasher.

You will need to make sacrifices--both of you are used to keeping your space a certain way, and it's hard to adjust. Just keep communicating, and focus on the positives!

For people who are saying that cohabitation prior to marriage is a bad idea, I whole-heartedly disagree. While I don't judge anyone for waiting until marriage or engagement to move in together, cohabitating before marriage does not make engagement or marriage less special. And cohabitation does not directly lead to divorce! I love living with my partner; we can see each other every day, and the money we save we are putting towards our wedding, getting out of debt, and maybe eventually a house downpayment. And living with him has made it so much clearer that he's the person I want to marry.

I don't think anyone is saying cohabitation before marriage is a bad idea, only that many people do it without considering the full committment of living with someone and their stuff and their baggage and the shared responsibilities.

Congratulations! My boyfriend and I recently made the leap, and are finding it great. A couple of thoughts:

We found it helpful to move in to a new space together, that way we could go about making it "ours" together. It sounds like you're moving in to where you boyfriend lives? I would encourage you to try and find ways and spaces that are just for you, just for him, and common territory (for example, I'm a little messier than my boyfriend, but as long as he can put whatever I scatter about on my dresser when he's having a cleaning fit, he's fine with it staying in a messy pile there!)

Write a contract before hand. No, seriously, it sounds really corny but was a good chance to talk about some of the chore/breakup/expenses things beforehand. It wasn't anything formal, more like a series of conversations that evolved in to a series of emails that we sent back and forth and edited. He cares about having a made bed, so he makes it, I care about having an indoor cat, so I clean the litter box, we'll sell the stuff and split the money if we break up, etc.

Lastly, gallery walls are a great way to show things that each person loves, all together in one great display :)

Sorry, I know that's super long, but those are a couple of the most helpful (to me) things I've learned so far, hope they help you - congrats and good luck!

My cat freaked out when we moved and wouldn't stop meowing in distress. The next day we went out and bought the calming collars they sell for cats and immediately he calmed down. We kept it on him for a week to help with transition and it was a miracle worker.

I also, moved in with my love about 9 months ago and agree with everything said above.

I also think it's important to have your own activites. We got caught in the 'do everything togeather' zone and started to drive each other nuts. Now we each have one or two nights a week we each go out to a do our own thing, I go to the local animal shelter to volunteer and he goes to a martial art class.

What's with all the judgment?? I don't think there's anything wrong with cohabitating before marriage. It's less of a commitment to live with someone beforehand and learn if you can make it work or not than it is to get married and realize that little things drive you so crazy that you become unhappy. I moved in with my boyfriend about a year and a half after dating... Now it's three and a half years after that and we're engaged! It's important to learn how to live with someone before you make the commitment to spend the rest of your lives together.

ANYWAY! I definitely agree with talking about who is doing what chores before hand. I'm less uptight (read: messier) than my fiance, so I would be okay with not doing laundry for a week, and he would end up getting so frustrated that he would angry-clean all day by himself on a day that he knew I was going out. He ended up resenting me and I told him that it wasn't my fault he always choose to go cleaning crazy on days that he knew I had plans. He told me that he did when I wasn't home because he didn't want to deal with me getting mad if he asked me to help. This led to him resenting me and feeling like "we weren't a team" (his words!). Ever since then I make an effort to schedule a cleaning day when we're both home. We switch off between cleaning the kitchen and laundry and it's working pretty well. Even though we don't have a schedule per say, we talk about who will do what before we start.

Also realizing that just because you live together doesn't mean that you have to do everything together. I used to want to share EVERY meal together, but now I've realized that it's okay if I want to make mac and cheese at 1 pm and he has a sandwich at 2:30 pm.

Lots of storage is also key so one person doesn't end up getting frustrated about all of the other person's "stuff."

Good luck, it will be fun!

I agree with everyone else on introducing your pet to the space before you move in, but what do you guys think about the actual moving time? It's obvious to put the cat in a carrier to keep out of the way but should you keep the carrier in the new home or the old one?

I second, third, fourth the idea of setting cleanliness/housekeeping ground rules right when you first move in together. You won't eliminate all sources of stress or resentment if you have very different ideas about housekeeping, but you will at least have that conversation early on. That's one big thing that I wish we had done when we first moved in together... it wouldn't have taken us several years and 3 apartments to come to an understanding.

If you plan to cook and eat together, I would make the following recommendations:

1. Try to organize your kitchen so both of you can be cooking/prepping at the same time. That way, you're not always jostling for counter or stovetop space.

2. Come up with a "couples meal kit," a set of meals that you will make you both happy. You don't have to make only these meals all the time, but you should have a collection of a dozen or so lunches and dinners that you both want to eat, so you can eat together more often and save time by not having to make entirely different meals.

Congrats, Ms Big Step! I bought a house with my boyfriend in September and here are some of my humble little tips that have (so far) helped us make it work.

1) Our house didn't feel like a home until we had art on the walls. It was seriously the one single thing that made us love our place and made it feel like "ours". Since most of the furniture was mine, it was nice to have something we shared equally. My bf (who hadn't hung most of his art before we got the house) was so excited to see the things he had loved all laid out on the walls and I saw my art in a new way as it intersected with his

2) First meal: Honestly? our first meal was Indian takeout because the idea of cooking after moving was near impossible. However, one of our favourite meals those first few weeks was a combination of sorts. We each made one thing we're good at - coleslaw (me), cherry pie (him), and each made one thing we'd never made before meatloaf (him) macaroni and cheese from scratch (me). The meatloaf was my mom's recipe and the macaroni and cheese was his mom's. It was kind of corny, but we loved the idea of bringing together our strengths, our mothers' strengths and making new traditions, all in one meal. Plus, if we totally screwed up, at least we had coleslaw and pie to rely on!

3) Give each other space. We have a very small second bedroom that I wanted to use as a guest room. In addition, I had a longish desk to put in that room. The bf has a gaming desktop and wanted a place to play his games where he could remain undisturbed and not disturb others. We ended up compromising and putting a double bed against one wall and his small, corner desk against another. Now the room looks pretty cramped but so what? It's clean, it's fairly tidy, and he's happy having a place to work. Him having his own space when everything else is shared matters to him, so I was happy to do it.

Similarly, for the first 2 months our socks, underwear, my tights, and bras all lived in the same small 4-drawer dresser (and a few cardboard boxes to share the overflow). It made mornings incredibly aggravating and made me mutter some unkind words under my breath on more than one occasion. Once we found a wonderful old chest of drawers for him off kijiji, occupying the same bedroom became easy. It's funny how one simple piece of furniture killed almost all our morning bad moods.

4) Make your bedroom an oasis. Our bedroom is one of the few rooms I'm the happiest with. It has sloped ceilings with exposed beams, which makes it feel like a cabin. Even though it's very tiny, it's cozy, and it's a perfect respite at the end of long day. It's where we chat and plan our day and laugh about stupid jokes - I really try to take any arguments we have out of that space because it's usually such a chill location. We bought the bed together, which was a good call, and splurge on good quality sheets (thank god for sneaky sisters who work at HomeSense). We tried to bring no boxes in there when we moved so that it could be a place of (somewhat) serenity when everything else looked like hell.

5. Choose your battles. Yeah, sometimes I'll still get annoyed at water glasses left everywhere or 3 or 4 pairs of socks discarded all over the living room. But before I bellow for him to change it - I think: how much do I care about this? Often, the answer is close to nil. I've accepted we just see mess differently. It doesn't mean he won't do something Yes, I clean the kitchen more than he does but he packages and takes out the garbage even in -40degree weather. I tidy more than him and go through the mail and pick up clothes off the floor, but he fills and empties the dishwasher more, and doesn't complain at the huge amount of hair i leave behind when I straighten it in the morning. Decide what's a dealbreaker and needs to be addressed, but don't harp on everything, and don't accept him doing the same. Separate the wheat from the chaff and you'll be happier for it.

It's so exciting! Good luck!

When I moved in with my husband two months before we were married, we didn't even have time to think about these issues as we were in "go" mode for the big day. After the dust settled and we got into the groove of everyday life, I realized just how huge of a change living together was. We went through thorough marriage preperation and that majorly helped us to further understand each other and our personalities and how to work things out together. Because you are moving in together before marriage, I would suggest that you have blunt conversations about your expectations and habits. Not voicing your expectations can be a point of contention that can fester with time. For us, we had some issue merging furniture and "things" (art, books, etc.). We were lucky enough to sell all our old furniture and buy new furniture that we both liked and had a say in choosing. This isn't feesible for everyone, but something to keep in mind because objects can carry great meaning (an old bachelor couch for instance). Just remember, compromise, compromise, compromise! As far as pets go, my dog is a lone wolf and when we moved in together he relished his chance to be the only dog in the house (coming from living with roommates and family that had pets). So, I don't have much advice there, expcept to keep to your routine and try and make the change only about space and not about the routine that your pet knows (and appreciates). Hope this helps and good luck!

I agree whole-heartedly with the don't do everything together. Once you have someone else around, you lose the motivation to get out more and seek the company of other people (at least I do, when I'm alone, I'm way more out there).

Have an honest (I'd say almost business-like) discussion of your expectations when it comes to who does what (shopping, cleaning, ...). Major fights spur from different expectations (because let's face it each was raised in a different household with different rules) and different thresholds (you will not believe how long I had to wait before my man decided the place is dirty enough to clean).

After 8 years together and a 2 year old, we finally have it down how to keep the place running in decent condition. I just wish we negotiated it like a business deal before we moved in together and drove each other crazy with our habits.

All of the above said, I LOVE living with my partner. You really become a family then.

I will comment on moving with cats / introducing new cats when combining households (because it can be a complete nightmare). An amazing product called Feliway will be your very best friend. It comes in a few varieties, but my favorite is the plug-in (looks just like an air freshener). It's a synthetic version of cats' facial phermones (ie. really happy cat smells) that help cats calm down and feel comfortable. I used when my boyfriend (now husband) moved in together with our respective cats. If possible.. get the plugins a few days before the cats arrive so it's already in the air. Of course you still have to go through the whole introduction process that you normally would, when combining cat households, but it really does calm them down. Happy cats... happy house!

Congratulations on this new phase of your life!

I have two pieces of advice:

Tip 1. Make a list of everything it takes to run your household, from paying bills to doing laundry to shopping for groceries. Then divide up these chores evenly, in whatever way you both agree "even" means (time-wise, labor-intensive-wise, gross-wise, etc.). Hooray! Chores cause tons of fights when you live with someone, and this approach basically eliminates all that fighting because you both know exactly what needs to be done and who needs to do it. No more secretly keeping track of who has done the dishes more often or most recently because now only one person is doing them. Revisit the list after a couple months and see if there are any chores either of you wants to swap. Bonus tip: don't comment on the other person's chores. When you notice that the laundry is getting cleaned but not folded, or dishes are stacking up, try to give some leeway because you'd want a little leeway yourself. If it really bothers you, sit down and talk about it.

Tip 2: Remember that your boyfriend may have different ways of doing things than you do, and that his ways may still work even if they are different than yours. Be open to it. Focus on the fact that he is took care of X thing (putting away dishes, making a salad, whatever) rather than on the process he used to get it done. He takes 3 hours to clean the clutter around the house, when you could get it done in 20 minutes? Don't freak. He is doing it his way, and the point is that it gets done.

Not to be rude, but the question wasn't, "Should I move in with my boyfriend?" She's already made the decision and that part is none of our business. She wants tips for moving efficiently and adjusting to living and sharing space with someone she's very close to.

Anyway, I'm slowly approaching the same situation as Jody- my boyfriend and I decided a year ago that we would move in together this summer. I appreciate having a thread like this to look to for advice!

My boyfriend and I moved in together 8 months ago and we're still figuring everything out. I'm a clean freak, he isn't. I admit, it can cause a lot of frustration. I wish he'd put his socks in the hamper and take his shoes off indoors but that just isn't going to happen. Period.

So instead I focus on the things he does that I truly appreciate. Putting a new belt on my car in the rain, making the salad so I'm free to work on the entree, picking up last minute grocery items without complaining, and rubbing my shoulders.

And as everyone else has said, make sure you get some alone time. I started a "supper club" with some friends. Each month we take turns hosting and there are no significant others or kids allowed. It's good to have a social engagement that is just mine.

My boyfriend and I moved in together three years ago. We didnt put a lot of thought into the whole process but it went smoothly.

Our first place was small. The best thing we did was have our own space for downtime and to relax. They may have only three meters away but it worked. We both had earphones so we could listen to our on music and have some alone time.

We also fell into jobs. I hate dishes, he didn't think cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming were a priority.

We have now bought a house. I'm big on decorating and styling. He is big on band posters. Some of the posters are in the main living areas if they suit the room. The rest are in his man cave. If you can have a man cave I would go for it.

Good luck!

I think being sure it's a good idea to move in with a significant other, and discussing what it means for the relationship, BEFORE the boxes get packed is a great way to help living together go more smoothly. So it is germane to the subject.

The way I see it is, if someone posted, "I want to decorate a nursery with shards of glass," posters should be able to respond to that without hearing a lot of pearl-clutching about "rudeness." Responding with, "I'd use green instead of clear glass," isn't the most helpful response, while, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" is.

As Pi put it more succinctly, "I don't think anyone is saying cohabitation before marriage is a bad idea, only that many people do it without considering the full committment of living with someone and their stuff and their baggage and the shared responsibilities."

I have seen way too many friends move in with an SO because they think it will be an adorable real time rom-com, or because they think an engagement will be just around the corner, or because they want to save on rent and think the details will work themselves out. Before packing even one box, you need a plan. What does this mean for the relationship? Do we plan on marrying? If so, when? Will we just live together forever? At what point do we throw in the towel? How do we divide our belongings and decide who keeps the apartment? What if there is an unplanned pregnancy (for opposite-sex couples), which is far from rare among cohabitating couples?

Good luck. After 35 years of marriage and a gazillion fights, household chores are split like this: he starts a load of wash; I finish it. He loads the dishwasher: I empty it. He loves to go to the grocery and I don't. He shops; I'm responsible for putting everything away. He hauls in the jugs of cat litter; I clean the litter boxes. Do I like this "division of labor?" NO, I do not. However, it beats doing everything myself!!!

Thanks for posting this question! I'm also about to make the big cohabitation step (WOOO!) and am looking for advice too.

On the moving with pets question, my experience with cats is that its best if you can take them away to a neutral place for a day or two while all the moving madness is taking place, then bring them back once you've done most of the unpacking. They're much happier to be introduced to a new environment that already is semi-settled in with all the stuff and smells they know, rather than a crazy new place with boxes everywhere.

With cats at least, it seems like the stress comes from the madness of the unpacked boxes everywhere rather than the new location.

All of the above and ... good luck!

(And a ps about cats. I recently moved with mine. Of course, he knew something was up as the books disappeared into boxes and the curtains came down. On moving day I confined him to the screened porch while the movers did their thing, then fetched him. He seemed actually really happy to see our *stuff* again. Also the new cabinets don't latch, so he can open and close the doors - when things got a little stressful for him, he just retreated to a cupboard for an hour or two. What I worried about most was that he has had to become a strictly indoor cats, no romps in the woods anymore. Seems ok, we'll see come spring.)

-If you can, get your groceries delivered - then neither of you have to spend time on it other than ordering the items online. This and housekeeping take the most time.

-Open a joint account for your shared expenses. Split who has what bill under their name so you each spend a little time on them, and so you have something in your name as the resident. And get renters insurance!

-Instead of a dresser, we use the shelves in our linen closet (which right by our bedroom door), with baskets for socks/underwear. We only need one shelf for linens and towels.

-For our first Christmas living together, we asked our families for framed photos that we could display around the apartment. We also got other frames at Goodwill for photos and the artwork we've picked up.

-Our coffee mugs are from the schools we went to (high school, college, & grad school!). Some we already had, but I surprised my fiance by ordering a mug from his high school bookstore online.

This is a perfect time to get rid of some stuff! Depending on your living situation previously, you will have multiple of furniture, kitchen stuff, etc.

I was very lucky that my husband has a style similar to my own. If you two come from different ends of the spectrum, you'll have to decide what your must-keep items are and which items you can negotiate away. Another approach, if you're able to handle it, is to move in everything and then decide what works and what doesn't. Your two styles might go very well together! If you're having trouble, try moving things around like a puzzle. If a piece doesn't fit, it's time to consider letting it go.

The worst thing for me was I'd wake up in the middle of the night and not know where I was! Something people don't think about is smell. If you have an air freshener or room spray or even a candle that you really like and use often, make sure you spread it throughout your new place. It'll trigger your memory and remind you that you're in a familiar setting.

Re moving with pets: I have found that bringing the cats in the first load & confining them in the room where you will keep their litterbox works very well. Put a big red sign on the door so that no one opens it!!!! After all your friends leave, open the door & let them explore & draw their mental maps--they will always be able to find their litterbox if you do it this way. As a previousposter said, Feliway is wonderful.. I adopted an intact male 2yo Siamese from our local Humane Society (he was neutered the next day) who had been adopted & returned twice previously, & he settled in right away, & has NEVER sprayed in the house, even when I adopted another cat, or when ferals were yowling under the windw.

Don't do a man cave. Or a woman cave for that matter. It's one thing to have private moments or private areas or just hang out in different places in a home but man (or woman) cave is such a ridiculous thing. It denotes "other" as in "your other stuff goes there" or "your other activities go there." If you don't enjoy some of his or her hobbies, unless they require a dedicated space (like art) it's healthier to learn to live with a person AND all of his or her hobbies.

Keep separate bank accounts. If you must, share one for household expenses.

Pick your battles carefully. Know what's really important to you, understand what is really important to him. Home dec decisions are never permanent, so live with something you don't love for a while before saying you must have XX differently than it is.

Allow yourself to go to bed mad...you'll feel better in the morning. Do not stay up and argue. It just makes things worse. I promise.

If something you love must be excluded, store it with a friend, a relative, in a storage unit. Things will last last forever, and while we hope love does, sometimes it doesn't . And if love does last, someday you'll have a bigger space and can take your XX out of storage.

Emotionally, be willing to compromise. If he REALLY loves that framed college football jersey (glory days!), let him hang it on the wall. If you do, he'll probably let you decorate everything else. :) It's all about compromise!

Financially, I second @urbancricket - keep separate bank accounts at first. Open a joint one that you both have access to for household items. You can also use it as a vacation fund!

Logistically, the actual move can be stressful. Check out Unpakt to help streamline the process. You can get & compare exact prices from reputable moving companies. Start the new home off on the right foot with a smooth move day. Lots of great tips on their website for moving with pets too.

Good luck!

When I moved in with my fiancée (and by that I mean formally moving in, not just leaving my tooth brush, clothes and basically staying there all the time), this is what made me feel at home:

1. Rearranged furniture. I asked him if he'd just indulge me in a few hours of furniture moving to see what worked and what didn't -- and after we settled on an arrangement, we sold the stuff that didn't fit. Mostly mine--I was okay with that, as I'd been a poor grad student and had poor grad student furniture. He was earning money as a professional, but, ahem, didn't really have much... taste? I do love him, just not his uninspired man furniture.

Oh, I guess that's really it. Just #1.

We toyed around with a chore chart, too. That landed like a lead balloon. I'd say the toughest thing for us to get to -- and it's still a constant negotiation, even after 8 years of happy marriage -- is balancing my need for tidiness and cleanliness with his need to relax and not stress about about every little errant sock or stray hair in the sink in his free time. :)

If you have the means, and if you have different dirt/tidiness thresholds, having a cleaning service come clean your home once a month or every other week can alleviate a lot of stress.

Also, have a plan for cold and flu season. And find out in advance if your partner needs/expects to be coddled or left to their own devices or something in between when sick. Because no one is good about expressing preferences when they have a migraine coming on or have just caught the 24-hr stomach bug.....

Where was this two years ago when I moved in with my (then) boyfriend???
We're now happily married, but the first few months of fully living together was definitely an adventure. I moved into his place, and I remember asking the exact same questions about how to make sure it would be a positive and memorable experience. We learned to cook together, shared and combined family recipes (italian tacos are the bomb) and developed simple routines like going to the park and playing disc golf or picnicking.

We had co-ed roommates, which seemed like a bad idea at the time, but the public-factor of having friends around 24/7 really made us keep our cool and not go crazy on each other over details and pet peeves. I wouldn't recommend roommates...but we've kept the perspective of 'don't do/say anything to each other out of spite you wouldn't be comfortable with your friends seeing' and I think it's been a good thing.

Fortunately, our styles mesh really well and we decorate living spaces together, but to this day keep separate desks/work areas in our bedroom....like a dorm room. It's our own variation on having separate spaces where we can do our own thing but still hang out together. You'll find your groove.

That being said, schedule in time for your girlfriends and make yourself get out and hang out with them (if you don't have that routine already). Moving in is a great bonding experience but, as much as I was warned, it's really easy to let your guy become your life if you're sharing a home.

Small novel aside, moving in together was the best thing ever for us and I hope it's an awesome experience for you too!

Ask where your relationship is going, scary yes, but its even scarier not knowing where you are headed as an individual or couple. So ask.You will learn as much from what your partner says as what he or she doesn't say if you observe the body language. Some people look as moving in with their partner as having a built in sex partner who will cook, clean, shop, run errands and split the rent with them until they find someone better. While other people assume they will be moving towards an engagement. Know what you want too.

Make sure one of the bills is in your name. Don't combine cell phone plans. Keep a separate bank account. Make sure you have enough money in the bank to pay for first month, last mouth and security deposit and moving services.

Before packing help each other declutter first. Along with marking your boxes well purchase some colored construction paper and use one color for the bedroom items, one for the kitchen, one for the bathroom, ectr. This will make it easier for you and the movers especially if you put a piece of the colored construction paper corresponding to the room on the door of the room. Three things to pack and to unload first. Pack an overnight back with clothing, toiletries, towels, bedding, pillows, toilet paper and a bar of soap. In a second bag have a package of toilet paper, paper towels, two flashlights, batteries, light bulbs and enough lamps for each room in the home. When you move in assemble and make your bed first because you will be too tired to do it later so put it in the truck last. Then put the toilet paper, soap and hand towel in the bathroom. Finally is check all the ceiling lights in the apartment to make sure they have light bulbs in them and work, if not put a lamp in each room. Now start moving the things in.