I have a part-time job in the afternoon; my husband's company has him on a 'working layoff' where he works every two weeks and collects unemployment on the weeks off. We see each other much more than when he was working 60 hrs/wk. Now? Our son is not yet two and my husband said he's surprised by how much he loves spending time with our son. Since he's home more I've been able to take on another part-time yet temporary position in the evenings. We actually find that we have more things to talk about: less conversation about work and more about world events and current happenings (and silly things our son has done). If anything we enjoy it...you know, aside from not being able to pay those pesky bills as quickly as before :)

It Italy recession came and went, and all we noticed was a few extra sales and some of our corporate clients cut our fees. But overall we were ok.
When you realize that if you decided to join a gym you'd spend only 15 minutes a day together, then you know you're working too much...

Spend more time with those you love or spend more time with those you are required to spend time. If given the choice, I would take the first option. Growing up with both parents working in/around the home has ruined me for the office world. I plan my escape everday.

I live and work with my SO, and we commute together (obviously). It's a small workplace so we interact frequently and work together on jobs as well as eat lunch together. Sometimes it can feel a little claustrophobic, but we have a definite transition from work to play - the drive home and subsequent shower and change serve as a decompression zone and a way to shift into our "dating" personalities from "coworker". It's important for me to get out of the house - the university is nearby as well as a local coffee shop and some small stores that provide diversions. Honestly, most of the time I don't realize how much time we spend together until I have to talk about it, since we have pretty compatible interests and personalities, and are each other's peers as well as partners.

As two laid-off architects, we dealt with the same issues. It was a nice treat to be able to spend more time together than usual. But to keep sane, we each had to make sure we still did our own thing for part of the day, often away from the house.

Luckily, I'm back to work at an office away from home, but he's still trying to keep himself busy each day which is frustrating.

As an employee of a couple who also ran a business together - It was a losing proposition...

...the other half of the couple was Always Right - so the employees, clients and business suffered - and eventually closed.

I did it and it was a disaster. We were both unemployed and so we started our own side business. Forget it! I think we are both too young still to make that sort of thing work out. I decided to take an amazing job offer and I moved, he moved with me and also took a job part time. We are not married, so I suppose this sort of scenario works. We put on weight and after about the 5th - 6th month, I couldn't bare it/him any longer and finally I got the job offer! and moved!!! We are no longer in a relationship, but spend a lot of time together still due to our small business. Much better situation all in all...

Oh my gosh yes! I am feeling this problem big time! My husband goes and works at a full-time job, and I have been working from home since I started my own business last year. The problem is that although he's gone during the day, whenever he's home, I'm home. He gets no alone time in the apartment and it's starting to affect the relationship. Meanwhile, since I'm working alone all day, by the time he gets home in the evening I'm feeling "cabin fever" & craving human interaction bad! Also working in a small apartment means that I can't get away from it. I just turn around and it's there! We both are wanting to separate our work & home lives that I started looking for a studio to move my work into but it's scary to commit to a year lease when my business is still so young and unpredictable.

When I think back on when we both went off to work, it was great because we both really cherished seeing each other at the end of the day. Now with too much time together we're both irritable and half the time we're on computers in separate rooms and NOT enjoying the together time. If anyone has any advice on this subject PLEASE let me know!

i'm feeling this too, just mix in a bit of depression. It's good that your other is working on his own home projects and even though u are home, u r working.

laurabellk, I feel your pain! I work full time, but my husband is still trying to find a job. He sits at home all day, so when I get home he's bored and wants to leave the apartment and go do things while I just want to relax on the couch. I have no advice for you, but I hope someone else does.

My husband got laid off from a big internet company almost exactly two years ago. Since then he's been home, consulting and writing a book. I'm home too, studying. We do spend a lot of time together, which we've always thrived on anyway. But I think the one added thing that's made it workable is that we each have our own space to do our work in. Even at that, sometimes my husband goes off with his laptop to a local park, or even to our backyard. So I guess my advice is to give yourselves each a little space.

wow, all the women are working and the husbands/bfs are at home. It's been a year since my live-in bf was laid off. He's had consistent at home side jobs and out of home part time work. I love that he's cooking for me almost every night and does get a lot of work done. I'm just mostly worried about his self esteem. A job is so much more to a man. How do you encourage and support without showing your own insecurities and frustration?

Glad to know we're not alone.

Well, me and the fiance are neither laid off...so we're the weird crew. He was home about three weeks from breaking his leg and I'm used to being at home all day alone...it was nerve wracking. I actually looked forward to him going back to work. I just found I could get nothing done with him here.

"A job is so much more to a man."

whaaaat? check the sexism there, please.

Back in the last big recession, in the mid '90s, which hit us just after we finished graduate school, my husband and I found ourselves unemployed together, renovating a house. Oh and broke, of course. By the time he found work, we had been without ANY income whatsoever for 6 months. (and shortly thereafter, when I found work but before I was actually hired, I was diagnosed with cancer, but that is another story).

All this to say, I loved being with my husband all day. I miss it. I actually cherish the weeks we spent rebuilding each and every wood window in our old house; listening to Gzowski while using a paint stripper. After 21 years, I am not tired of him, and love being in his company. (He is pretty quiet though, so it does help to introduce other people into the mix :) )

Image: David and Im's onespace.

It's funny. I was just thinking about it this morning.

I work in the same office and live with my friend. We get along great, we're best friends and we often do things together after work or during the weekend. So far so great, but it's a good thing we don't actually work together.

People sorta make fun of us because we have common lunches and always come in and leave together (we carpool) but this seems to work. I'm just glad we do our own things whenever we want to, if we were a couple I don't think that'd work.

We both need a lot of "me time", and it's nice that we can tell each other without worrying it ends with a breakup haha.

"A job is so much more to a man."

Hm, I'm not so sure about that. I can only speak from my own experience: my mother was a single parent and had to support my brother and I for some time. Now work for a woman who runs her own business. It started out as a side job, but now has become incredibly important in supporting her young boys after her husband was killed in a car accident last year. Life is too unpredictable and expensive now. Once upon a time, one income was enough to support a decent lifestyle. Now, I believe, it's becoming more critical that both partners bring the bacon.

I was unemployed for seven months last year. It definitely messed with my self esteem. But then again, I've been a crazy over achiever since elementary school. But, anyway, my point is that unemployment can effect both men and women financially and emotionally the same. Especially if you come from a family/culture in which the stay-at-mom was the exception, not the rule.

it's cool to take advantage of the chance to explore different restaurants during odd hours and avoid the usual after-work traffic. not to mention that lunch menus are cheaper!

I work from home and my husband is a student, so we have quite a bit of time together. It's been much nicer since we put together our second bedroom as an office. We both use it, but mostly at different times, as he's completely comfortable reading for school in our reading nook in the living room. But I like it.

I am not a free-lancer, so my schedule is only slightly more flexible than when I went in to the office, but the huzz is able to tidy up and do little chores during the day, which is awesome. I love having lunch together and whatnot.

But he's also gone all day on Thursdays--8:45am to 7:30pm. It feels like a little treat for me each week.

@laurabellk, a few suggestions based on our experience. I'm a writer/artist working from home (and needing quiet to work) and my s.o. was laid off from his day job (he's a musician, but worked at a non-profit). The most helpful thing was creating structure to our week as though we were both working outside the home. I usually hate imposed schedules, but knowing at least some of the time when he'd be out and I could work without distraction was really important.

We scheduled fun activities, including time together, into our week. Thursdays are bargain matinee movie days, for example. We try (despite the cold) to walk together after dinner. Being physically active helps too. We had to negotiate the music issue (he wanted to use his free time to jam; I couldn't work with that much sound). He asked a producer friend if he could use the guy's studio when it wasn't being used by paying clients. That really helped!

As for renting a studio, you don't necessarily have to sign a long-term lease; you might want to find someone with a large studio space who could use a bit of extra cash and rent a portion of the studio month-to-month.

In any case, the most important thing is to work together to create a plan that suits both of you. Be as kind and loving to each other as you can. We have a "silly rule" which is that when one of us gets too intense, the other makes silly faces until the other can't help but laugh. Being cooped up together, facing money issues, etc., really shows you who you are together. Hope you'll find a way to use this time as an opportunity to grow closer.
Good luck!

Mine was home for a year and kept complaining that I was always at my computer. Hmmm. I work from home as well. Who's space was being invaded? I found that not looking up helped. Or summer when one of us could get out more.

I think she meant, A job is so much more to a man [than a job]. Not to generalize, but some men are still very stuck on the man as family provider idea. My husband was laid off a few months ago and even though we're doing OK between unemployment and my salary, he beats himself up that he's (his words) 'not providing for our family.' I can't seem to talk him out of the unnecessary guilt. I get a lot of indirect satisfaction from my job too-- colleagues as friends, mental stimulation, a sense of purpose and accomplishment-- but my sense of worth as a wife is not connected to my paycheck. And I have never, ever suggested or implied a different standard for him. He's just, frusteratingly, wired this way.

Just re-read the comments and realized I'd responded both to laurabellk and everythingistaken as though their issues were the same. In any case, laurabellk, create some activities for yourself that take you out of the house a couple of evenings a week. Go to a class, meet up with a friend, whatever. Maybe go to the gym and come home an hour or two after your husband and then have dinner together. Give your husband a little time to chill on his own and yourself the chance to get out of the apartment. Your situation is likely a much easier fix than what I addressed above (when because of lay-offs, you're suddenly together 24/7).

My husband is working 3 feet to my right. We had separate offices a few years ago, but we didn't like it as much. We like the same music and we're both pretty quiet, not a lot of phone calls with our jobs.

We work on a desk made from an Ikea countertop, cut at the corners to fit in a bay window. It looks hilarious from the outside, like the house is a space ship and we're at the command center.

I disagree with the "a job is so much more to a man" comment. I think if my boyfriend had a choice, he'd never work again, whereas I start to feel uneasy/stir-crazy/frustrated when I'm between jobs. I hate not working, and I'd rather have a bad job than no job at all, while my boyfriend would rather spend endless time unemployed than have a job he hates. Good thing he likes the one hes got! I know its just anecdotal evidence, but I will say that sweeping statements like the above quoted are rarely accurate, because it really comes down to individual people in the end.

Anyway; we both work right now. I have two jobs, both part time, and one of them is at the same place my boyfriend works. Its a bar so its my night job. My other job is in retail and right now since we're so slow, I'm not getting a whole lot of hours, so we do spend a lot of time together during the days and nights too, when we're both working.

We do tend to irritate each other after a while, and we remedy this by simply having separate interests. In fact, in terms of hobbies, we really have no common ground so we definitely manage to keep to ourselves even though our space is fairly small. If it really gets to be too much, one of us will get out of the house for a while, go see friends or for a coffee.

For the most part though, I would say that we do fairly well spending a lot of time together. I guess I kinda like the guy. :)

Hmm. I think the worst moment for me was when it came out that my under-employed husband was suffering from low self-esteem because he felt he was being too "domestic". He tried to negotiate not doing cleaning or laundry any more. I appreciate his point of view, but when I work 60 hour weeks and he's working 10, I think it's clear who should spend their time doing the dishes. We've got things working for both of us now, but I'm really looking forward to when he works full time again.

i have a husband in the home building field as well... with work being extremely slow and it raining half the past two months, moneys not the only thing thats been tight. im usually home with our two kids and its usually loud with plenty chores to do. when hes home, i get nothing done. because im use to being home all day, i dont mind staying home. he treats every day home like its the weekend.. like we have to go to the zoo, or museum, or just out in general, all while were clearly not making money to support those things on a daily basis. yaaah, he gets bored too easily and says theres nothing to do... i tell him to clean the bathroom ;)

We work together at home in the same office. Generally things work well for us. Sometimes one of us wants to chat while the other is looking for some quiet. But aside from that, our working situation is fairly smooth. We both have headphones, so if we want to eliminate some distraction, we each have our own music and podcasts to listen to.

It's really easy for us to just keep talking about work all the time. And with the recession it has been slow and financially trying. So this often means heavy and worried conversations when talking about the business rather than about specific projects.

I think the important thing is to maintain a social life both together and apart. If a cabin fever sort of feeling is kicking in, we know it's a good time to get out for some alone time, go out for dinner or something together, or get together with friends.

I find if we've hit the right work/life/fun balance, our work situation suits us just fine.

Two people living in a loft. One of them working at home. The other's work place is undergoing construction. Challenge indeed.

Has that Dwell image been appropriated for Unhappy Hipsters yet?:)

My boyfriend and I have both been laid off and we live together in a small two bedroom apartment. The second bedroom is my boyfriend's "office" and I have my computer in an armoire in the living room. We've been spending nearly 24/7 together and surprisingly we haven't wanted to kill each other. I'm actually really enjoying it. When we were both working we'd come home and catch up on personal emails and reading and have dinner, watch some tv and go to bed. Now we have real conversations, cuddle on the couch, talk about our future.. I was afraid that it would do the opposite but its actually brought us so much closer.

I'm a SAHM, and my husband was unemployed for 10 months before he found another job. We got along great and I think I had more of a problem than he did. Having him home all the time in the beginning was a little strange just because I had my routine. When I took my son to preschool 3 days a week for 3 hours each of those days, that was my downtime. I got my alone time and time to decompress. When he was home, I lost that alone time. But the great thing was he was able to spend lots of time with our son. So despite the negative of no job, the positive was more family time. We all reconnected on many levels. My husband and I get along great though we do have our occasional pow wows. But what couple doesn't?!

For fawn and hidden.bird-- I'm sure it depends on the person, but my husband is just like Fawn's SO. He gets upset not being able to "provide for his family." I work too, but he feels his income should be enough to support us all in the lifestyle he expects us to live. We're working on it together, since it really upsets him! He gets snappy and snarly and just hard to be around...it's how he's made! And he's no chauvanist--he does dishes and laundry and vacuums more than I do! (course I do the home repair/remodel work, clean the bathroom, shop and cook so it's and even trade). When he was out of work he picked up ALL those task though. Let people be who they are; just respect their feelings!

Sound-blocking headphones really help. Listening to NPR or radio programs gives you something to talk about later. For people in big cities like SF, try checking out your local co-work organizations. People get together at a designated location and just work all day, like in a coffee shop or rented office. But free. It's a nice once-in-a-while alone-time treat.

You probably know other people who work from home besides your SO; try getting together with them sometimes for "work parties."

I still find it nearly impossible to work while my boyfriend is around, which is maddening since he's always around. He's on the phone all the time and he's really really loud. Plus he loves to procrastinate... by talking to me. At least once a week, he just has to leave the house to work so I can get something done.

Take your blessings as they come... stop and smell the roses in your situation. Our situation is pretty much leaves too little time together... I work nights, he works days and we never see each other. We have literally crossed paths at the doorway once in the A.M. going one way and once again in the P.M. going the other way.

Unfortunately it's not true that in Italy "the recession came and went". last year my boyfriend had to leave his job and start working at home. He keeps on searching another job, but without any results.
at the moment we came up with a sort of a balance by forcing us to get out from the home as often as we can, togheter or alone. that gives us at least something new to talk about.

@LiliZ, I totally agree with all your suggestions,

but still it's hard.

I'm with "asked you first''. My husband is just finishing out a 2 year contract living 4 hours away in Canada, so my sympathies don't run too deep on this one...

Thanks to everyone for their advice! It's a tough situation when your budget is low. I think the idea of forming a structured day is really good.

I don't think Elai1231 meant to be sexist when she said "A job is so much more to a man". Man or woman, it's amazing how much your self esteem is tied up in having a job. You can't fully understand this until you've been unemployed for a period. But I think that generally speaking, women have a better grip on their emotions and are able to analyze why they're feeling the way the do. My husband has admitted that he often doesn't know why he feels certain ways and then it comes out as anger or frustration. In any case, I completely sympathize with you because I'm worried about my own husband's self-esteem. It's hard to show concern and support because it can make them feel worse for not being able to take care of themselves. Right now my biggest challenge is to convince him that it doesn't make him less of a man to need help from time to time.

It is very hard times, most of us dont make the same money that we use to make, and still have the same bills to pay. Readjust your life, your expenses, your freetime, and always tell him how important he is in your life.