Have you seen these? They are called Tottoos, temporary tattoos for kids. Not the usual butterfly and dinosaur motifs, they provide vital information in the event that your child is lost. And that is exactly what happened to my son this summer.
It was his first drop off birthday party held in a very large and very public place in the middle of tourist season here in D.C. I had reservations but the party was small so we dropped him off and went about our day. We showed up early to pick him up eager to hear how things went and that's when we first learned about the horror of what happened. When the party was moving from the original location to the outdoors for lunch, the host parents left my son. They went downstairs and exited the building and crossed the street but never realized that they left my child in the original room looking at butterflies. Luckily, my son did not panic, found a security guard and reported himself lost. After a long search through the building, they took him to the security office and waited.
Our son knows our full names as well as our address but not our phone number. And what added to the difficulty is that we never knew he was lost so we were not in the building looking for him. He did not know the name of the host parents who had already left. You better believe we are working on him memorizing our cell phone numbers but for further assurance, I started looking for a product that would help in such a situation and I found these Tottoos. You special order them to include the information you want and then apply it whenever you think the situation warrants. These are also great for kids with severe allergies, special needs or medical conditions. Prices start at $12.95 for 15 Tottoos and you can order your set here.
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Wow. That would make me want to murder the parents. Glad everything turned out okay.
Or you could just write your mobile phone number on your kid's arm with grease pencil or marker ... I've seen that at the beach here in Holland.
This seems a little silly to me. What are the chances that you would apply the tattoo on the day that your kid gets lost? Perhaps, something more permanent, like a label on the inside of his shoe or backpack? Note: I am in no way making light of this incredibly scary scenario. I would have been pretty upset with the parents who's care I left my child in.
Yikes! That's scary!
I remember having one of those leash-style backpacks for my daughter when she was about 2-3ish (and a bolter!)
The looks & remarks I got at the zoo; shameful! But it's better than losing your kid in such a large crowd!
Now that my daughter has memorized all the names & phone numbers, I have no need for the tottoos. I think they would be a good idea for some children.
I have to admit, there are times I wish I had a proximity locator/GPS anklet for my kid! lol
SarahCaisse:
For me the Tottoos are more of a back up plan to use in certain circumstances, e.g., large crowded places. They are also good for younger ones who can't yet memorize phone numbers and other info.
Janie
I've seen somewhere that parents have written their number on the kid's tummy with a sharpie ... I guess so it's not exposed to the whole world, but of course that scenario relies on the kid telling a a cop/guard/authority figure that it's there. But in any case, this is a good reminder that I need to start drilling my 4yo whenever we're in the car ...
I think they are a great idea. No, you never know when your child will be lost, but you do know when you will be in a public, crowded venue and those are the days you would use them. Personally, I wish we could have our kids tagged with GPS locators like we do our dogs.
I sew labels like that into my sons clothing...everyone thinks I'm nuts for it.
Man...you poor things, I can't even imagine how that must've felt. Mistakes do happen but I would recommend implementation of the "headcount" rule by any kiddie party hosts.
In addition to popular use by teachers and day care excursions, the headcount rule is required on tour boats in Hawaii before they leave a snorkeling spot. The boat does not move until the # of heads have been counted and counted again. No one moves until everyone's been accounted for.
These are also available as wristbands, which may be faster to put on: http://www.mabel.ca/products/my+411+wristbands
I will add a warning for readers, though - don't clearly label your child with his/her name! I've heard that strangers use name labels to approach children and act like they know them.
Wow, scary. One of my greatest fears. I lost my son for a couple minutes at the playground when helping a little girl that had tripped and fallen, and, boy, I thought my heart was going to come out my throat in pieces. Turns out he went hiding in a play tunnel. I agree with the head count. Can't believe these parents left your kid behind.
How scary! We always write cell numbers with Sharpie on my kids' arms when we're out at large public places. I even do it now that they're older because I'm afraid that, even though they know my number, they may forget when they're lost and scared.
There are a bunch of companies making things like this.
For example I found this one interesting because you can get tattoos with custom QR codes that contain a lot more information on a small sticker. (I am not affiliated with nor have I ordered from this business.)
http://www.safetytat.com/
I have SafetyTats. After reading this, I don't feel so bad for putting one on my daughter for a small birthday party she went to last year - I felt a bit like a paranoid parent. PS I've given these to some friends who've gone to Vegas or pub crawls. LOL.
I write my cell number on the inside of my daughters arm with a sharpie and also make sure I take a picture of her on my cell phone. That way, if she gets lost I know exactly what she's wearing and have a picture that can be circulated rapidly and electronically if necessary. What a scary thing to have happened!
Seriously, are there GPS bracelets or something that you can get for your child??
A cell phone number really wouldn't have helped when our son was lost this summer; we needed to locate him. We had gone to the Cadre Noir in Saumur, France (the French National Riding Academy). He and his older sister wriggled away from us in the crowded souvenir shop after the performance. We didn't worry, because he always (ALWAYS) stayed put, and so we just waited until the crowd dissipated. That is when the panic set in -- he was nowhere to be found. We searched the entire property, went back to the arena where the performance was held, checked all the back rooms. They started checking cars as at the security gate (fortunately there was one) as people were exiting, but at that point, he had been missing over 30 minutes. Of course we were thinking abduction at that point. My husband ran out to do a second check of the parking lot and found him -- at the very, very back of the parking lot, at the furthest possible point of the property. He had been carried out of the shop by a crowd of people, and just kept walking...
All this to say, what we really needed at that point was a GPS locater. No one ever offered to phone for him, or paid any attention to a crying little boy standing alone beside a car.
But definitely, in your case, the cell phone tattoos are a great idea. My concern though would be that it would never occur to me to put them on circumstances such as yours. Sure, if it had been a large party, but it was a small one, and what sort of parents don't do a head count before they change premises? I would have been pretty angry!
When I took my classes on field trips, I printed up labels/stickers with my cell phone number and the school number on them (no names of students, of course). Each student wore the sticker for the duration of the field trip. Each student also had a buddy, and I took pictures of the students before we left so that I would have a record of what everyone was wearing/looked like in event that someone did get lost. I did a head count every 30-60 minutes and checked everyone off on a chart, even if we didn't move locations. I even noted on the chart each time a student went to use the restroom and when they returned!
Perhaps it is a bit neurotic... But when you are responsible for someone else's children, you should be using extra caution, above what you might normally do.
As someone else noted, it is important to make sure your child doesn't wear their name on their clothes or backpack in public -- it makes it much easier for "a bad guy" to target your child and pretend that they know who they are.
You know, I don't really think you have reason to panic. Your son did the exact thing he should have done - found a security guard and explained the situation. Good for you for teaching your son how to think in a situation and take care of himself.
@CBrown9758 - I like the idea of taking a picture of your daughter the day of the party. Very clever.
I think my son was scared straight when he got lost in Hobby Lobby last month, and I don't consider myself much of a worrier. But having your cell phone number written down somewhere with/on your kid isn't a bad idea when you're at a large place. If your child is scared and upset he's probably not going to remember your number off the top of his head no matter how many times he's recited it to you.
Sounds like the boy in this article was taught well. I will say though, one of my earliest memories was my dad giving me a bath and me reciting our phone number to him over and over because he told me just how important it was to know and why. Knowing your address won't get you nearly as far when lost as a phone number will.
our little one isn't yet walking, but i'm already on the lookout for jerseys for him to wear when we go out to theme parks, museums, aquariums, etc. i think i read it here on ohdeedoh... put your kid in a sports team jersey when you go out to big, crowded places. then if he/she gets lost, it's easier to spot a kid in a bright orange and purple steve nash jersey (go suns!!!) than if he/she was just wearing blue pants and a white t-shirt.
I worked for many years as a nanny, and whenever I took my kids to any public place: I first made a location for them to go to if we got separated (museum entrance or memorable statue), or if the place was too large for that to be practical (zoo), then I told them to find a MOMMY* and show them their arm, where I had written MY name and # with a Sharpie. I also took a cell-phone picture of them, so that I had all their identifying details. Some of my kids also wore necklaces with charms on them that when reversed had parent names and contact numbers.
* - I once read a safety article that said mothers were more likely to be vigilant about finding a lost child's caregiver/parent. That you should not rely upon them finding a policeman or security guard, but that you can usually always find a mother with kids. And sometimes there isn't a really obvious security presence, like at the zoo for example.
They went downstairs and exited the building and crossed the street but never realized that they left my child in the original room looking at butterflies
Were they newbies? When moving a group of kids, you do a head count at the beginning of moving and then walk among them and keep that head count burned in your brain. Newbies or not, still inexcusable.
When my teenager was a little girl, I used to put our phone numbers on a piece of paper inside her tennis shoe. She always knew it was there and that it was just in case she got lost. I would worry about putting these on an arm or someplace visible to a stranger though. Maybe on a calf if he is wearing long pants. What a wonderful help for parents of little kids who are too young to know vital information...
Reading this thread is a bit heart-stopping. I'm taking my three to the local children's museum by myself tomorrow morning (3, 2, and 1 year olds), and you'd better believe they'll all have my cell number written on their arms with Sharpie. Thanks!
I'm so glad your son knew just what to do in such a situation!
I got left behind on school field trips twice. Once in an aquarium 5 hours from home in fifth grade and once at a zoo 2 hours from home in kindergarten. I wish they'd had these back then. Now that I'm a teacher responsible for 20 kids on field trips, I'm pretty vigilant. We pin laminated tags on our kids with the school name, teacher names, grade, and the location we're visiting. Haven't lost one yet.
Silhouette makes print-your-own temporary tattoos. It's about $10 for two sheets of 8 1/2 x 11" tattoo paper, so you could probably get many more than 15 out of them than to pay someone else to print them. http://www.silhouetteamerica.com/specialtyMedia.aspx
Whenever we go out in public (zoo, museum etc..) I always write our phone number on the inside of kids arms along with my name. How scary for these parents! So glad he was ok - smart little boy for staying so cool and calm!
Good for your son for doing exactly what he needed to do and for you for teaching him.
And, although it probably doesn’t feel like it, good for the parents for telling you. When I was lost as a child while in the care of someone else, they intentionally tried to hide it from my parents.
I have safety tats for my daughter as a peanut allergy warning. I’m always paranoid that someone will be unaware and give her something with peanuts. It has space for our number, too, so it serves both purposes. And, they are pretty cute.
I like the clothing tag idea!
I also have memories of my father making me recite our phone number and address. He would also have me give directions to our house while driving home from around town, so that I always knew how to get home. My daughter is still too young, but I call her attention to landmarks, etc.
My kindergarten class all have matching purple tee shirts that all the children must wear on every field trip. Purple seems to really stand out in a crowd and I can spot them from a distance. They also know how to line up and count off.
I've got a road id bracelet (with emergency contacts, address, and allergies) for when I go cycling and they've just come out with interactive ones (linked to a profile that emts, etc. can check with your medical history). I ran into a dad the other day that had the new ones for himself & all his kids- like rubberband bracelets and they loved wearing them!
Jesser:
The Sharpie post was on Parent Hacks:
http://www.parenthacks.com/2006/08/sharpie_your_ce.html
We often do this.
when we went to Disney, we got key rings with the little tags that you could write on and we wrote our info there and attached them to their shoes, tucked into the laces so they didn't rattle around. We also use the "if you can't find us or we get separated, find a mommy with a stroller and show them the tag on your shoe". The mommy with a stroller route is our consistent crowd safety lesson. We heard it from another mom as they were getting off the subway in DC and thought it was the smartest thing. There's always a mom with a stroller around, police are sometimes harder to find.
When I was growing up, it was stylish for all the kids to wear medical ID tag bracelets, that had our addresses and our parents' phones numbers on the back. Specifically in case we got lost. I think the school distributed order forms to the parents for them. It seems alot more practical than one time use stickers to put on a kid. When my son started kindergarten I got him one. They look like this: http://www.makemethis.com/bracelets-main.html
When we went to Disney, we got these waterproof ID bracelets that you tuck your contact info inside of--my kids were 2 and 4 and we told them that if they got lost to tell someone to look inside. The kids loved wearing them as bracelets or anklets. I like them because I can reuse them each time we travel.
http://www.id-inside.com/
That's so messed up!! I can't believe they didn't do a head count before changing locations... how irresponsible.
I've heard of the tattoo idea before, but found these too, there are distance alarms and mini-GPS units available.
A friend of mine has a mother with alzheimers that likes to wander too, they stuck a GPS locator in her purse and it's helped the local police find her twice!
I'm not affiliated with this company, but here's the link to the GPS and RF locators:
https://keepandprotect.com/kids.html/
I think sewing labels into the kid's clothes is a great idea. I did a quick Google search and found lots of companies that can supply personalized labels.
http://bit.ly/py0eCa
I think I would put only "Call parents at 555-555-5555." As others have pointed out, no one needs to know the child's name as long as they can reach you.
I've been drilling my son on what to do if we get separated in the subway. In addition to telling him to find a parent with a child, I've been pointing out the MTA and NYPD uniforms, so that he knows what to look for. It's hard for small children to distinguish between police officers and others with "official" badges.
I think these would be great for large crowded events just as museum visits or big outdoor picnics/concerts. When I was a little girl, maybe 4, I got lost at the big 4th of July picnic. I had wandered off collecting candy from the parade floats. I guess I didn't know to find a policeman or someone but I went back to the car (many blocks away) because that was usually where we'd meet if separated. My parents had alerted the festival people and the whole picnic was looking for me for hours, lost child announcements were made, but because I'd walked back and forth between the car and wandering the picnic no body spotted me for over 5 hours. I was too shy a kid to ask another mommy or stranger and my parents hadn't drilled me on what to do if I was lost. Eventually this old woman who went to our church saw my standing next to the park fence looking in and ran towards me, I recognized her and was reunited to my terrified parents.
After that they made sure I knew to stay in one place if I got lost and/or find a person in uniform. I guess the tottoo wouldn't have helped in that case since nobody approached me to see if I was lost. Drilling a child on parents names, phone no., and where to go if lost seems like such an important thing to do early!
Great post. We have autistic 4 yr old twins and one of them is a wanderer. We're looking into different options, and you list a lot here.
As the first-time mother of a 2 month old, this freaks me out.
That said, LOTS of wonderful advice in the comments. BIG thanks to all who have posted before me!!!
Another Teacher Tip: memorize phone numbers to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Much more engaging than a drill and kill of a bunch of meaningless numbers!
Yeah, add me to the consensus who think the host parents REALLY screwed up. I've had similar parties for my daughter (drop off with location changes), and we always make sure we do head counts and we make sure there is a ration of 1 adult for every 2 kids so we are certain everyone is accounted for.
I put dual blame for this scenario: none on the writer, don't worry. But any venue that has birthday events should also have a party coordinator to help make sure things go smoothly. The host parents really should have been better about making sure everyone was with the group as well.
The field trip rule of thumb that I know is 1 adult for every 5-7 kids if they are school age. More may be needed if they are tiny kids though.
The tattoo idea is taking it a little far in my opinion, but I really like the shoe tag idea. Maybe parents' names should be on there though - it would help with supermarket style announcement systems.
Wow, I am so, so sorry that happened to you and your son, and I'm so happy you were able to find him relatively easily. How absolutely terrifying for all of you.
I am sure I was trained for handling getting lost in a crowd, but I remember better the getting lost in the woods training: Hug a tree. I was told it would make me feel better and easier to find. I thankfully never needed to use it.
Oh, and how air-headed of the host parents!
We have tags on our kids shoes too. I got ours at the pet store. Pet tags are just the right size, durable and water proof.
Who knew I was supposed to be writing on my kid with Sharpies. Is everyone doing this but me???
Garmin provide the gps tags. You can also set them up to alert you to certain locations, eg arrival at school and you can set up "fenced areas" and get alelts if the gps moves outside that area.
As a runner/biker/snowboarder I wear an id bracelet from www.roadid.com anytime I am doing something adventurous. Very comfortable and you can program the text or purchase new tags if your info changes.
This whole thread is an exercise in alarmism. Kid got separated, kid found security guard. Nothing about this scenario is remotely scary. Dog tags and gps monitors? Why not just lock your kid in the basement so he can never ever get out into the big bad scary world and learn to be responsible and independent.
I wouldn't agree with teaching my kid to stereotype by gender ("find a mommy"), since very very few people are harmed by strangers at all and many more people are harmed by stereotypes and sexist behavior.
We need to stop sending messages that teach children and parents to fear men. So many of my male colleagues have gotten tired of the complaints that a parent doesn't want a male staff member changing their child's diaper, or a male therapist was affectionate toward their child, and so many very effective and ethical men have become afraid to work with children any longer. Children really need role models of all types, and we need to stop sending ANY message that demonizes any group of people.
Personally, as a therapist, I teach children (and adults with developmental disabilities) to approach someone who is working at wherever they're lost/hurt/etc. Not because the person is necessarily safer than someone who isn't a worker, but because it teaches good boundaries. Especially for someone who has trouble with boundaries, it's easier to keep it straight in one's mind that we sometimes share information such as our name and phone number with someone who is working (police officer, school staff, person who is signing us into an activity, doctor's office staff), but we pretty much never do with someone who is not working.
That's a scary experience. Your son is very impressive in doing the right thing. I like the temporary tattoos for the kids. That's a great way to make it not too big of a deal for your kids, but have the info handy on the days you know that they'll be out in a strange or crowded location.
Sorry, not sold on the idea of writing your number on your child's body with a Sharpie. I'll leave that to the child psychologists. lol.
I'm so glad everything worked out and that your son stayed calm and knew what to do. Whew!
My mother used to write our names and phone number in the inside of our jackets (& we knew it was there). She also put this info on ALL of our personal belongings. I was the only kid rocking a basketball in high school signed by Phil Jackson AND my mother.
Seriously though, HOW SCARY for you!! I am so glad your kid kept a cool head & everything worked out.
When I was little, my parents used to tell me bedtime stories about myself. They all started off the same way, telling me my full name, my address, phone number, and the names of my parents (not just "mom" and "dad"), as well as the names and phone number of my uncle and aunt who lived nearby. ... and then we would get into the actual adventure of the story.
To this day (30 years later), I still remember my first address and phone number by heart, including postal code. It was by far the best and easiest way to have memorized all that contact information. It didn't have the context of "if you get lost", it was just a part of me, and easily recalled in any situation.
Serious kudos to you for teaching your child well!
But---why Comic Sans, Tottoo? :(
Good idea! -- and sorry about the story!
We bought number and letter beads at the craft store and made bracelets with our phone numbers and names. The kids love making them, so they remember to wear them. I have three preschoolers at home, so just about anywhere we go is an opportunity for oneof them to run off for a bit.
How can you "forget" a child?
easily. harried, focused on the next step. any number of things could have happened. we probably all remember some classmate being left behind on a field trip, even a kid old enough to have been paying attention and following the group without a buddy system. if people can forget their baby in the backseat, they can certainly overlook one kid in a crowded place with lots of objects to conceal the child.
calling the people idiots is harsh. there's no evidence they were careless, just that they made a mistake. if it weren't common, would all these tactics to avoid losing a kid exist?
the one thing i don't agree with is telling kids to "find a mommy." just tell them to find a woman to help them. some moms don't have their kids with them, so how will the kid know? most women can't resist a kid in need.
when i think of the leiby kletzky case, i keep thinking 'if only he'd asked a woman for help...'
Sorry but this whole idea is just another level of fear people are instilling into their kids. Granted things do happen, bad things but the chances of your child going missing are pretty darn small. Teach your child personal safety and try to make sure caregivers have all their brain cells working. Get yourself a copy of the book 'The Gift of Fear' which will help you and your child to recognize REAL danger. We are all born with an inner trigger that tells us something isn't right ,we just need to learn how to use it. Next people will be implanting chips into their kids.
This is disturbing on so many levels. That the party parents lost your kid. That they didn't tell you and you didn't know he was lost. That the solution is a tot tattoo. Kudos to the kid for keeping his cool. I wish I could be so understanding.
I whole heartedly agree with Canadian Tired. This is just upping the (already ridiculously high) paranoia level.
I am sorry to hear that your little son got lost, it must have felt as if you were in the Twilight Zone. I too would have been way beyond furious with the host parents..... But wouldnt it be better to teach him certain skills just in case? Seeing mommy jumpy in reaction to everybad situation implies a whole world of uncertainty/unhappiness that children can certainly pick up on.
I watched a mother once at the theme park sanitize her 3 childrens hands after every ride. And what was sad is that the children were taught to keep going back to mommy after the rides because "everything was filthy". Then why take them there? That really takes all the joy out of childhood.
jamieson - no you're not neurotic - you're the child carer that I'd pay over the odds to have look after my kid because you take it seriously - kudos to you
i second canadiantired's book recommendation, but "protecting the gift" by the same author is actually devoted to children and child care safety.
the commenters who write that kids need a psychologist if you write a phone number on their arm, that being told to find a mommy is sexist, that parents are being "alarmist" and all the other 'eye-rolling' comments - you clearly do not have a kid or have had to look after yong children in public places. You get distracted for a second, and BOOM, the kid is gone. Sure, maybe he is just over on the other side of the museum looking at something - but in a crowded place this is heart-attack scary. Not that someone may kidnap them, but that they could get hurt, hit by a car, and any other horrible thing. I have 15 years experience as a nanny, and 2 as a mother, and I still lost a 7 year old boy whom I TOLD where to meet me if we got separated. I was furious. I waited for an hour at the meeting point, since I couldn't know if he would arrive when I was gone to look for him. It was near the entrance, and we got separated on the 2nd floor. A lady finally brought him to me saying that he'd been sitting in the stairwell crying. So, it just goes to show you that you can take precautions and drill kids and shit still happens. So I'll keep being overly-cautious and take any and all actions to keep my child and other people's children safe, and you keep thinking I'm over-the-top. If it was your kid I was looking after, I bet you'd be pretty happy I didn't have your point of view.
Lady J you are correct it is 'Protecting The Gift'.
parents are just trying to take care of their children as best they can...people shouldn't judge so harshly.
ask a parent whose child is still missing if they would have used any of these techniques to protect their child and the answer would be "yes!"
we're lucky that we have these products on the market now - if every child wore a gps tracker, there would be NO missing children.
and diddly, i sanitize everything my child touches including her hands because she has seizures every time she gets sick. you don't always know the reasons behind someone's actions.
These are great ideas, though I'm not comfortable using sharpie directly on skin. I wholeheartedly agree that losing a child is extremely scary and it's worth teaching your child what to do in a situation. It also doesn't hurt to take measures in the event they "freeze up".
I still remember my first address and phone number from over 20 years ago. My mom made it into a song that we sang all the time.
Slightly related note, we also had a password so that if anyone came up to us and said "your mom/dad wanted me to take you somewhere" they would have to know the password. That way if my parents did encounter a situation in which they had to send someone I wouldn't know, they could tell them what it was so we knew it was a safe person.
@egilje We had a password too, although it was something like, "Your Uncle Floyd sent me" where "Uncle Floyd" was not at all the name of any uncle/aunt of the family. It was easier for me and my cousins to remember fake people than to remember fake words. We never had to use it, but it was nice having it around. I suppose in an emergency it could be given to a police man or something to pick us up, although we were always told how to identify authority figures.