An heirloom to you may be just a tchotchke that sits on a shelf gathering dust to them. They made a registry for a reason. Get them something within your budget from the registry and then include a homemade touch if you so desire.

This could be a nice add on to a small registry gift. http://www.etsy.com/listing/61056845/natural-heirloom-eco-friendly-baby?ref=sr_gallery_21&ga_search_query=baby+heirloom&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

I wouldn't go with a sterling silver cup, personally. They are rarely well designed and thus unusable. They transfer heat so you can't have hot drinks. Fancy spoons don't generally get used. I bought all of these things before I bought kids but wouldn't buy them now.

Test strips for alcohol in nursing mothers are really kind of alarmist and unnecessary. The occasional drink isn't a big deal and objects that perpetuate the myth that you can't drink while nursing aren't all that funny. What would be funny is a very big bottle of wine.

A piggie bank or art (with their approval) or some beautiful toys are what I would pick.

These are beautiful, display well, and get tons of play in our house: http://www.novanatural.com/toys/building/four-elements-set-large

Pretty and functional wooden train:

http://www.northstartoys.com/collections/all-collections/products/north-star-express

Haba Ball Track
http://www.maukilo.com/click-clack-ball-track.html?gdftrk=gdfV22463_a_7c778_a_7c3335_a_7c3580

Sweetest rocking horse every, and will work at young age http://www.etsy.com/listing/62671939/organic-mod-toddler-rocking-horse-safe

One word: Books

You can NEVER go wrong with beautiful, classic children's books.

I've been making displays of my little boy's special mementos with a picture of the occasion such as one with a first onsie, hospital id bracelet and little socks. What about a little silver spoon and a display frame? The parents could add a photo later. Something like this http://www.michaels.com/EZ-Store-Frame/fr0508,default,pd.html?start=13&cgid=products-framing-displaycases

Love the thought of alcohol test strips for breast milk for mom - only in America!!

Natural wooden teethers will get use and be easy for the parents to store as an heirloom gift. They have so many choices like cameras, animals, states, etc... You could find one or two that speak to the familiy's interest.

Start your search on etsy!

I'm not a registry fan either. Sounds like you want to give something that stays around forever and wows the parents, too. I'm assuming you want to spend more than average yourself, from the silver cup theme.

I would go for a pricier mobile (like a Flensted) that isn't baby-specific. Framed vintage children's art (like Babar) or travel/food ads by Villemot. An olive tree for their garden. A bottle of wine from the year the baby is born, for the child as an adult. A crystal to hang in the window. I would reflect deeply on the thing you would want that child to have - happiness, clarity, intelligence - whatever you picture as the greatest gift a child could have, and give something that hooks into that.

The things that become heirlooms are not predictable, but your wish is commendable. I personally wouldn't do the scotch, without going into the whyfores.

You can only do this after the birth but these are very cute and could add to a lovely box of wooden blocks which make a great toy!
http://www.craftefamily.com/baby_gifts/baby_block_personalized.asp

You can never go wrong with books.

I always give the same gift -- Eric Carle's Animal Flash Cards (about $11 from Amazon.com) and an outfit.

My sister and her husband are in a similar situation. They really don't need anything as they're quite well off financially so don't feel comfortable with traditional baby shower. They're also waiting to find out the sex of the baby. They love to read, especially my BIL, so I'm suggesting a book shower. It's been mentioned already but I agree - you can never have too many wonderful childrens books. Write a personal note inside the front cover.

My family gives boys a traditional christening present of an engraved pewter beer mug. As little ones they use it for storage of whatever on the shelf. When they get older, it gets put to regular use. My brother uses his all the time.
Our blanket suggestion was for people to give their favourite childhood book and they really responded. My cousin gave Kiplings just so stories which she remembered her dad reading over and over with a lovely inscription. Meaningful, useful, unique, easy to store. You could throw in great bookplates too.

Why not give a hand-knit blanket (washable, of course) or a baby quilt from etsy? It'll last much longer than an outfit, and be very useful - and if it's nice it'll be something they always have. Other than that, I'd say go with nice Etsy handmade toys or a Petit Collage mobile... but really, consider something on the registry too, because even when you're comfortable financially, baby gear costs a FORTUNE and that big bite at BRU or wherever REALLY HURTS.

I am going to vote for books, too. I would avoid anything to decorative, like art or as suggested above, a mobile. What is awesome and beautiful to you may simply not meet their vision for their decor. One of my friends attempted to do just what it seems like you are doing--go off registry and get something amazing that I will love. She ended up tting some having some artwork beautifully framed. While it was a generous gesture, what to her was timeless examples of early Eastern European religious artwork, was, frankly, creepy and unattractive to us. Loved (loved, loved) the gesture, didn't care for the actual gift. That's always the risk you run when you try to out-think someone's registry.

Love the ideas of artwork (including mobiles) and books. Look up Caldecott medal winners/honorees - includes everything from classics like Where the Wild Things Are to great modern reads like Kitten's First Full Moon. My personal gifting favorite to new parents is Goodnight Moon (not on the Caldecott list, but still great).

http://www.ala.org/ala/mgrps/divs/alsc/awardsgrants/bookmedia/caldecottmedal/caldecotthonors/caldecottmedal.cfm

Books! We've gotten some really wonderful books for my son. I loved the ones people have sought out that have his name as a character in them. I know you can't do that yet but it was something I really appreciated.

I vote the mobile too. Etsy has tons I would want as a gift. (of course you may run into color coordination issues in a nursery)

My vote is for ANYTHING from Little Sapling Toys on Etsy. My boy has their blocks, rocking horse etc. The stuff is crafted beautifully and will last a lifetime.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/littlesaplingtoys?ga_search_query=little+sapling+toys&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

books is a great idea, and so is the hand knit blanket.

there are also some high end toys out there that really function as art and can be lovely if you have a good sense of their decor taste.

we didn't get any silver stuff for my daughter, but she does drink out of our old family cups. I love them.

it's too bad that gender neutral clothes for babies nearly don't exist. I'd think a handknit sweater in green or blue or cream could work but I know it's next to impossible to find these things in stores. Everything seems to have either a flower or a rocket ship stitched on. So annoying.

books are a wonderful idea. something classic, and nice to look at, haha.. and someone mentioned wooden teethers. they go together well, and can be saved well beyond their years as "baby items".

I adore the baby bird mobile (Land of Nod sells it). I think it is pretty even not as a baby-type mobile but just as decoration. It strikes me as kind of feminine, though. They also have a safari animals one. http://www.landofnod.com/mobiles/baby/up-in-the-sky-mobile/f5141

As someone who is expecting, please let me encourage you: buy from the registry! I have gotten many gifts, but only 2 things that I was actually registered for. Many of the things I was given had no gift receipts, I couldn't tell where they came from, and I had no use for them. So, someone at the Goodwill has lucked into some stuff. My husband and I are on the hook for everything we registered for, but we have stacks of other stuff that's not really useful to us. PLEASE, shop off their registry!

The baby isn't going to remember what you get them so the gift is better suited for the parents. Financially secure or not, what parents most appreciate upon baby's arrival is a well-cooked meal and some help around the house when the baby is just born. What about getting them a delivered meal? There are numerous catering services out there or cook it yourself. In Philly, there's a service called Healthy Bites To-Go where you can set up meal delivery in advance of healthy, local, organic meals (I've never used it, but the menu looks fantastic). Pair that with the scotch for dad, a bottle and bib for baby, and something food-related for mom and you have a family meal gift.

I also vote for books! There are so many wonderful ones and you could even choose some beautifully illustrated classics for when baby gets older.

I recommend giving a gift certificate for a local photographer -- not Olan Mills or a mall portrait studio.

Since so many people have suggested books, how about some beautiful bookplates, perhaps letterpressed (or wait until after the birth and have them personalized)?

Carrie

No matter what you do, you should include something from the registry and/or a gift receipt with your gift. The parents may not have your aesthetic and could already have plans for a nursery where your unique mobile/heirloom/whatever won't fit. As a three-time mom, it is frustrating to put time into a registry and then have it ignored. I can't tell you how many off-registry gifts I've given away because I didn't need or want them, and the giver didn't include a gift receipt.

It's not about you and your taste and whether you like registries. Save that for your own shower.

yes to books! an assortment of really good board books will be much-used over the next several years - ask a (literate...) parent of a toddler or preschooler for faves. They're icky to buy used (other kids have chewed them), but at $10 or so a pop, they can add up when you're just starting your kids collection, and will probably be very appreciated!

Agree with books as a great alternative. Also, if you getting something not on the registry, it's a good idea to include a gift receipt, just in case.

Other suggestions:
- really nice picture frames
- music! this may depend on how well you know the parents and are familiar with their tastes, but I got two different families some childrens' CDs (for example, Mozart for Mothers to Be and Elizabeth Mitchell) and they enjoyed them for a while
- a blanket is also a good idea -- our 3 year old son still loves one that was given as a gift
- gift certificate to local photographer is also a great idea

Also, I agree that if it's something they would only really have use for one of (eg a mobile) I wouldn't get one in case, they already have one.

Good luck!

For one of my godson's baptism (so, slightly different occasion & separate from regular gift), I gave the Jonathan Adler pop menagerie bird box. I already knew it fit in with their nursery decor & that they'd have space for it. It's also minimal enough that it could go in any room of the house & blend with their style. Of course, not only did it go with their nursery, the symbolism of the white bird/blue drops was perfect for a baptism.

I feel heirloom gifts are better suited to later birthdays. The first year with a first child is overwhelming, so you really only want (can?) think about what you need in the moment. Long-term gifts will be much better received at a 1st birthday, for example.

Please no blankets or heirlooms! We literally received over 30 heirloom or similar blankets, most of which are in a box in our attic, returned to the store, or donated. I love that some people chose to give jewelry, but I'd prefer them to wait until sweet 16, graduations, etc, since now we have to keep track of it, won’t give it to her until then anyway, and will have probably forgotten who gifted it.

I wholeheartedly agree with books. Books can be cherished beyond childhood, a children's library adds up, and everyone chooses something different and special. Avoid fussy pop-ups in favor of something that could be used (and not destroyed) a little sooner. Artwork, mobile, or decorator items are a good idea (ask for input from parents), but understand the child may not want it as they get older.

Another option is to start the baby off with bonds or stocks. If the child will be born around a holiday, you could give them something related that could be brought out each year.

And as has been mentioned, you really can't do better than meals and housekeeping. They don't need scotch and a silver cup; they need clean laundry and an easy meal.

I was 26 before I was able to get rid of all the "heirloom" stuff non-family people gave my parents when I was born. I felt too guilty to give it away even thought I didn't need/like any of it.

However, I did keep all the books. That's my vote.

Or a set of cute non plastic baby spoons. Bad days are made better with ice cream & tiny spoons.

I have a 10-week-old and recent perspective on this issue. My daughter received two engraved sterling rattles... beautiful, but not something she'll spend much time with, so it's not much of a gift "for her." and it's not something she'll be displaying at a future apartment or something.

I agree with others that new parents receive more blankets (and towels!) than they can use.

I also agree that handmade toys are an amazing gift. like the wooden teethers from etsy, or a handmade bear. my daughter received a bear from hatsbyconnie.com - it's knit/crochet - so cute, and totally something she can actually play with.

books and bookplates are also wonderful gifts. we got THREE of Goodnight Moon, though, so you might want to stay away from that one.

I'm sure they'll love anything you give them! and we would've enjoyed the liquor, too - ha ha

I thought these were silly as a gag baby gift (but also very usable!)
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=funny+pacifiers+for+babies&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=5156516231&ref=pd_sl_97jfzjxcc5_e

I agree that heirloom gift do often get put away never to be seen again. Even when the baby grows to be a child or an adult, they don't have much use for a silver rattle/cup.
On the other hand, both of my son's received silver baby spoons with their initial engraved on the handle. I use 1 of the spoons in my sugar bowl.

as a new(ish) mama myself, i agree with many of the above comments suggesting not to get anything you hope will become an heirloom (keep this in mind for a future gift for the child) or anything decorative unless you know exactly what the parents have done with the nursery. books are wonderful, but do include a gift receipt as people tend to give the same ones (i got 8 copies of goodnight moon. i love it, but one is enough for now!)

how about this button front nightgown http://www.hannaandersson.com/style.asp?from=SC|9|4|32|264|8||&simg=33792_H86 with these jammies http://www.hannaandersson.com/style.asp?from=SC|1|1|156|253|3||&simg=33084_67G and a delicious meal dropped off after the baby comes. and scotch for dad if you insist!

i also agree that milk testing strips are silly - if you can feel the effects of the alcohol, it's in your milk, and it passes out of milk at the same rate as the body. plus, even a pregnant mom who's dying for a drink can come to change her mind after the baby arrives and she's nursing - suddenly that glass of wine doesn't seem so urgent. i thought i'd have a drink right away but it was really a couple of months before i had a beer, still haven't had anything stronger than that in 9 months.

I like the idea of books, but I urge you not to write in them and to include the gift receipt. a baby only needs so many copies of good night moon.

and I agree with the others, don't go for the "heirloom" stuff, it probably won't get used and there are plenty of other things that they could use.

have you considered nice toys for about 6 months old? something that the parents can put away for a few months until the child grows into it? a nice set of wooden blocks or a walker or something?

A copy of Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein is one of my favorite keeper books that I received when my son was born. Even adults usually like to flip through it, so it will likely be on their bookshelf forever.

A children classic book with a personal inscription expressing your best whishes for the future.

Love the suggestion of books. Unless, the family is not into reading, it will be well received. Finding something on a subject that the parents might be passionate about would be fun as well. Some of my favorites from childhood include illustrated/simplified Shakespeare & Greek Mythology http://www.amazon.com/Daulaires-Greek-Myths-Ingri-dAulaire/dp/0385015836/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0 as well as How things work type books (sometimes available in pop up style books). Books that have great illustration but are a little more special that would be read with mom and dad.

I know people are hesitant to give mobiles due to taste/style. If you feel comfortable with it, go for it. On Etsy shop I enjoy with mobiles is Naturechild http://www.etsy.com/shop/naturechild?ref=pr_shop , who (along with many other Etsy sellers) will make something custom as well. Check her sold items for butterflies, bees, Peter Pan & Wendy, fish, etc.

Other felted wool items make great toys, though not cheap see Asher Jasper http://www.etsy.com/shop/asherjasper?ref=pr_shop and Beneath the Rowan Tree http://www.etsy.com/listing/38304520/count-your-ladybugs-needlefelted

I also loved seeing the suggestion of nice handmade wooden toys. They are more expensive than the plastic out there, but they will last a lifetime, and my daughter loves what she was given including a rattle from Little Sapling http://www.etsy.com/listing/62743997/organic-honey-dipper-rattle-wooden-maple (actually the one with polka dots), which is still a favorite at 2 years. It is now used as a maraca rather than a rattle.

My last comment has to do with the silver cups and spoons. The pictured cup from Beehive Kitcheware is actually pewter. My daughter doesn't have the cup, but I imagine if she did, she would LOVE it. She does, however, have a spoon from them, and it is the favorite spoon. It has a great weight and is easy for her to use besides being cute. For my next child, I will probably go for the spoon/spork set, which they have with cute small animals, hearts, ABCs (great gender neutral), and yearly Chinese zodiac-with 2011 engraved on the back and cute rabbits for this year. They are actually useful but would still be an heirloom.
http://www.beehivekitchenware.com/category_baby.php

Personally, I appreciate handmade gifts and the love that comes with them. My daughter received a hand painted china tea set with the promise to remake any pieces that broke if I promised to allow her to use it. I am learning the art of smocking and plan to make baby dresses for friends in the future.

Anyway, that is my two cents. Love all the suggestions.

As a new mommy with a 3 month old, I encourage you to buy from the registry. Even though my husband and I are financially comfortable, baby gear IS expensive. All the little things add up quicky! As others have suggested, get a gift from the registry and then add something more personal. Books are a great idea. The girlfriend who hosted my babyshower asked the guests to give books instead of cards, so now our little one already has a decent library.

I like books as much as anyone, but books can be clutter as much as anything else. When we were expecting our son, we implored people not to give us books because we have a few nice ones and we live right next to a library. Still people gave us books...several duplicates and some we just didn't care for. We have re-gifted most of them.

I say if there is a registry, buy from the registry unless the parents have expressly told you not to. Financially secure or not, they know what they need and want.

BUY FROM THE REGISTRY!!!! There is a reason why we create one. Not everyone has the same taste and although you may not like what's on the registry someone tookt he time and effort to create it to suit their needs. If you absolutely hate everything, than get them a gift card from one of the stores where they've registered at. Trust me on this one.

Actually, my son uses he silver baby cup every day (he's now 2 1/2) and he loves it. He loved his sterling silver spoon, too, until he lost it (I think he actually "hide" it in the kitchen trashcan).

I don't believe in having things around that house that aren't used. So I put the silver and the Bunnykins baby china that we received as gifts to use!

That said, what I asked for--and most enjoyed receiving--was books! Classic hardcover children's books. They are so expensive, but so useful, and, so long as you buy hardcover, they last forever.

When my daughter was born, there were no baby registries -- or at least, they weren't common, . Even now, none of our friends have ever used a baby registry.

I am rather repulsed by the idea of a baby registry... dictating to others -- "THIS is what you have to get me!". This unfortunate trend started with wedding registries, now babies... where is it going to end? Are parents going to start birthday present registries for their kids, and request that those who are invited to the party buy from the list? Is this where we are headed?

A poster wrote: "It's not about you and your taste and whether you like registries. Save that for your own shower."

Actually, giving is about what the giver wants to give, to share, with the recipient. A giver is not forced to give -- they give of their own volition, and give of themselves. To have a shopping list and to actually TELL people to buy you things off your shopping list is demanding, grasping and materialistic. None of that "stuff" means anything -- it is all impersonal "stuff". You won't remember who gave you what unless you keep track of it with a list, and in a couple of years, you'll be selling it off in a garage sale.

The presents I have enjoyed the most in my life have been the surprises, the truly thoughtful gifts which also share something of the giver.

Books are a lovely idea, especially if you hunt down first editions, and out-of-print books. Or maybe put together a series of books -- as others have suggested, book prize winners, or maybe the works of a specific author or illustrator.

The little pewter mug is lovely, and would be appreciated much longer than many things off a baby list. I've always loved antique silver christening mugs, and wanted to put together a collection for my children, but was never able to. I can see my daughter using them, storing things in them on her shelves; my son too. They would make a lovely display.

A photoshoot with a really great photographer is a lovely idea... children grow so quickly, and to have beautiful photos to remember those precious early days is very thoughtful.

Even blankets, if they are handmade and special, would be appreciated. More so, if you take the time and trouble to find out what the colour scheme is for the nursery.

Make it is personal as possible; without giving anything away, talk to the parents about what they like; when they finally get your present, they will appreciate it even more, because they will know how hard you tried to get them something special.

An heirloom that will go with all the suggestions would be bookends. Not kiddy ones with clowns and Pooh, but nice architectural ones, even children think those look nice.

Perhaps put them away until the child is in school, but I think that would be nice.

Engrave the bases, or sign and date the bases with your love.

This is why I'm not making a baby registry since there is no point as many people will just buy what they want. If someone wants to know what I can actually use then they will ask. So I suggest you ask the parents what is something that they didn't register for, but would love and appreciate. If you don't want to ask then I suggest buying your own personal favourite childhood book. You could include a note in the card about why this book has meant so much to you. Personal and meaningful. You could also create a book and write a letter to the child and if you bring it to the shower invite others to share their wishes for the child in the book. A lot more meaningful than signatures in a guest book.

Now for those who sit in judgment about registries should realize that people create them not with the intention of receiving all of the items, but rather that those nice enough to give them something will buy something they actually can use. I think the intention behind a gift is that a person will love and enjoy the gift. You are buying for another person and not for yourself. If you have no clue what to get then that is where a registry comes in. The intention is always appreciated but if it's a gift with an assumption that you will like it the item may end up in the trash.

" If you have no clue what to get then that is where a registry comes in. "

If you have no clue what to get them -- and don't know the parents well enough to explore it with the them, then you aren't close enough to be giving a present.

If you, as an expectant parent, expect other people to run out and buy you what you feel your baby needs and should have, then you are using a registry to live beyond your means. Babies' "needs" are actually pretty simple and minimal; it is the modern consumerist society that has made parents believe that they "need" all sorts of stuff if they are to have a baby.

What has really set me off though, and made me comment, were the angry "screams" by some of the new mothers on this board slamming the notion that a person wanted to buy a present not on their registry. The sense of entitlement and arrogance in these posts are breathtaking.

Here is some food for thought from Miss Manners on the topic:

" (Question) ...I would rather receive something I want and can use, instead of something someone else thought I needed. In a world where everyone seems to think they need more time, aren't these suggestions helpful to save them time? Is it wrong to politely suggest a gift you would like to receive?

(Reply from Miss Manners)

Gentle Reader,

Then what makes it a gift?

Ah, yes, the fact that you don't have to pay for it. You think of something you want and instead of going out and buying it, you tell someone else to do that.

Then what, Miss Manners asks you, is the point of the ancient and noble custom of giving and receiving presents?

Your system, which is in common practice now, does indeed save time and get people what they want. And, as you point out, it eliminates the necessity for thoughtfulness on the part of the giver.

But thoughtfulness -- showing symbolically that you have taken notice of the recipient in the hopes of pleasing that person -- is the whole point of giving presents. Otherwise, it would be even more practical and efficient for everyone to shop for himself or herself."

as for books, if you go this route...
anthropologie has heirloom quality clothbound classics like "the secret garden," peter pan, huck finn, etc. Of course, s/he won't grow into it for several years, but in the meantime, they make gorgeous decor that will "go" with any nursery theme

If your friends live in apartment, just get them something small of the registry. With limited space, we carefully selected each and every item to be just what we needed, and only what we needed. the last thing we wanted was a bunch of stuff. Make a donation in the child's name to room to grow or some other such non-profit for low income parents if you want to go off registry.

Or go with the photo shoot idea. I regret not having a pro photographer capture my daughter as a newborn. Snap shots just don't cut it.

Do you know a new mom? Ask her what she got that wasn't on her registry but that she totally loved. It's a good way to find out something useful that the new parents might not have thought of. After all, as first time parents, we all have a lot to learn and don't know what we really need/want until after the fact!

My favorites... a small hand knit blanket that fit nicely over the car seat and sleeping infant. She still uses it 3 years later, for herself and her dolls. LOVE it.

What I didn't like was the 3 sets of Beatrice Potter dishes from both of the grandparents. I know that they were both of ours as kids, but what use does an infant or toddler have of them? Eventually, I will sell them and use the money for college.

Books are OK (I know, bucking the trend), but infants dont' need books! And, I've never looked at my childhood books - I'm not sure that they even survived all 3 of us kids. Maybe in a year or two books as gifts would be nice... A nice CD of bed time music though...

My favorite idea is a gift certificate to Etsy. Let the mom pick out something fabulous and handmade and that fits her tastes. There's also lots of vintage artwork on Etsy for kids rooms - so you can do art and vintage at the same time.

Another great gift would be a year of weekly house cleaning by a service... (or a few months or even just once!), homemade meals, gift certificate for organic babyfood, diaper service, anything that can help give the new parents a break. No matter their financial status, leaving the little one will still be hard and they're going to be exhausted!

Really, heirlooms are just stuff that you have to keep. I will keep a few things from my daughter's early years, but a silver cup or spoon or anything else that can't be USED is pointless to me. Etsy and other new moms are your best bet for an off registry and welcomed gift.