This is an interesting point. I live in the Bay Area and skipped all this last weekend too. Even if the events all sound fun, you have to pick and choose to keep a balance. Otherwise, you'd be too exhausted to enjoy what you choose to take part in.

I am, however, marking my calendar for Oaktoberfest and Hardly Strictly Bluegrass next weekend! This week, maybe I'll lay low.

From someone who lives in a a very small, cheap, and very, very boring city with, I kid you not, nothing to do besides hang out at Applebees, I think I would be willing to pay a little more in rent for the options alone. We have a 6 vendor farmers market (It takes less than a minute to look around and I've never purchased a thing) and a rodeo once a year and a car show once a year (it's less about cars and more about people getting drunk and starting fights). I would give my left arm to have the option of going to a Japanese dollar, even if it meant I couldn't buy as much because I had rent due. It might seem strange, but it's not always the money, it's the sanity one gets from having more diversity and fun things to do. It also means friends and family from out of state might actually come visit :(

Well that's certainly one way to look at it. Personally I prefer to just do whatever tickles my fancy and not give a crap about any expectations based on my geography/gender/age.

"it's not always the money, it's the sanity one gets from having more diversity and fun things to do" Basil&Bones

So very very true.

When we lived in Brooklyn I felt intensely guilty that I wasn't taking advantage of all the city had to offer. Now that we're living out in the sticks I occasionally miss the city -- but I've found it's more of a nostalgia than anything else. After all, why move back for the cultural activities if you never took advantage of them when you were there anyhow?

I grew up living in the suburbs of a major city. Art, culture and festivals are one of our primary reasons we choose to live where we do. We are constantly reminded that we can live in a large home at half the price. For us, having a larger home surrounded by chain stores and strip malls can get tiresome. We do try to take advantage of what our city has to offer. Just last weekend, we attended a free outdoor concert at the last minute. Our 2 year old loved it! I love the summertime for all the outdoor festivals and events!

When I lived in SF I took part in the fairs, went to the club concerts, the plays, the ballet and opera, belonged to the museums, subscribed to the symphony. Like most SF people, though (or those that I know), I took advantage of the Arts during the week and often left the city for the country on weekends. Now I live in the country and rarely take advantage of the local Arts because -- to be perfectly honest -- they don't measure up to what I have experienced elsewhere. Is the crowding and high cost of living in SF (or NYC, Paris, London, Hong Kong, etc.) worth it to just be part of the vibe? I felt that it was, but the time came to leave it behind.

For me, living in Chicago isnt just about being able to "do" something unique or different every night of the week. Being able to bike, walk or take transportation every I want to go, is a major factor; as is the diversity - socio-economic, cultural, etc - of my neighbors, friends, and colleagues.

Honestly, how many people "experience" the city every night of the week? Maybe when you are young, or just move to a new city?

I'm too tired to enjoy the city. We don't even eat out. I would estimate that approximately 3-4 times a year we take advantage of a Broadway show, a Yankee game, a street fair, an opera at the Met, a museum, or whatever. Otherwise, we're couch potatoes who might as well be living in the suburbs.

Not much is mentioned about the wide variety of restaurants and bars that cities offer. I live within walking distance of just about every kind of food imaginable - with new places opening up every week. It's nice to have the option to go to shows/museums/whatever, as well, but I think my favorite thing about living in Brooklyn is the variety of restaurants/bars/pubs/lounges for every possible occasion!

I live in Rochester, NY, a very cheap city that offers a huge plethora of cultural and entertainment options. Which is awesome but does at times leave me with double the guilt because with price out of the way, I have really no excuse not to take full advantage of it. But I then I remind myself of what I do take full advantage of by living here: beautiful, walkable neighborhoods, exciting urban revival developments, and the ability to go car-free.

Really, nycagnes? That's all you have to contribute?

Mean Girls is awesome
Also: EL Fay - Are you Tina Fey?

No, but I do resemble her (brown hair, glasses).

I live in Toronto, which also is bursting with festivals and interesting events. I do like to enjoy some of them, but I'm also a homebody.

To be honest, part of my enjoyment of living in the city is just *knowing* that these things are happening around me. It's comforting and allows me to stay home and enjoy it, instead of thinking 'I'm so bored, there's nothing out there to do, that's why I'm home.'

I wonder if that makes sense to anyone else.

Totally identify with the occasional 'guilt' of not tapping in to all that my current city/local offers. I have lived in extremely rural, isolated areas as well as intense urban cities.

These day I just aim to allow myself to say "hmmm, what do I really want to do right now?" More often than not it is to chill in my garden and local neighborhood. If I follow that rule of thumb, then there is no disappointment of 'missing out' on the other activities.

To me, city life is more about convenience. Sure, it's great to have more options in terms of restaurants and activities, but I live in the city because it's easier to get places, I can walk to work, it's easier to meet up with people, etc. It's less about options and more about access...

I saw Folsom Street Fair and had flash backs to when I took my boyfriends parents to this "great" street fair. While I fully support Folsom Street Fair, it is not something I wanted to share with by BF parents (oh look father-in-law to be, that man is naked, being whipped and crawling on his knees).

Alas, I miss San Francisco...

I choose the city because I'm young, often-bored, and interested in multiple things. The higher rent and cost of living is worth having Indian, Thai, Japanese, Mexican, Vegetarian and American foods available to me (all authentic) on the same block. Being able to ride my bike across town to pick up *whatever* it is I may need, or wanting a relaxing day to sit in the park to read and people watch. It's incredibly convenient for me and worth every penny. To echo previous posters - it's worth it just having the options. I'm going to a local university soon to learn some astronomy for free on Wednesday nights, too! Coming from the 'burbs, I love living in the city and will choose to do so for at least the next decade or so.

Thats a photo of my apartment! :) But I'm totally guilty of not using the city enough.

I grew up in a small town like the one in the first post. Everything was very spread out and we had to drive to do almost anything. I hate driving - hated that town.

I have a theory that lots of the people who live in NY do so because they don't like to drive. They also crave the anonimity that crowds provide....

I lived for a couple of years in Richmond where I found the arts to be much more affordable and approachable than in NY. Everything in NY has such high demand, but I love New York, especially Brooklyn.

Ok my apartment is a little small, but the night sky is such a gorgeous color in fall and you can have a great time wandering around and doing nothing..

I already commented on a previous post as to why I (a native San Franciscan) remain in San Francisco despite the high costs. I don't drink or party, nor do I frequent high-priced, trendy SF restaurants, although we do occasionally visit some of our local neighborhood establishments and also nearby museums. These days, I'm rarely out past 7:00 or 8:00 p.m., so a lot of what appeals to others about SF doesn't appeal to me - at least not anymore.

Instead, in trying to make the best of it, I continue to appreciate the many conveniences, not the least of which is public transportation, and of being able to walk everywhere - especially on foggy days or early mornings/late afternoons when the Sun isn't directly overhead. I love the fog and try to make good use of it whenever it's available; I consider it the great equalizer, with no glares obscuring my view and where no side of the street looks more attractive than the other.:) I enjoy having easy access to Golden Gate Park, quiet neighborhood streets, small but well-loved chapels, and the Ocean. I also love hearing the fog-horns from my bedroom window at night and seeing city lights twinkling in the distance some evenings as I make my way down the hill leading to our apartment. These are some of the things I'd miss. Other things, not so much.

@Nomadchicky, EXACTLY. I *know* that there is nothing to do in my town. When I lived in a big city, I didn't go to tons of events, but when I wanted to, they were right there for me. I am very good at entertaining myself but sometimes, (like, every weekend) I want to go to a museum, a zoo, a new restaurant, a street fair, a concert. *Knowing* that to do so, I'd have to drive 3 or more hours to do so is depressing. My husband has never even been to a zoo (he spent most of his life here) and if it is the last thing I do, I am going to fly him to a city with a zoo!!

In a nutshell, even if you don't take advantage of what your city has to offer, just be grateful that when you want it, it's there. Because when it's not there.....oi.

I am lucky to live in a prime location in SoCal which means that for over a year I was running to every possible event held within LA and OC. At first it was freeing and exhilarating, but eventually I realized I was running around more because I felt like I was supposed to as a young 20-something, and less because I actually enjoyed it. It was if I had to prove I was young, fun and energetic, and I couldn't ever slow down or I would be wasting my youth. But it got to the point where I was about to punch someone in the face next time I got an invite, just because I felt so ragged; I couldn't keep up with that frantic pace. So I slowed down, and the first couple days spent at home on my couch felt like nirvana. So yes, please enjoy your surroundings, make the most of them, but also take that time to go to your favorite spot to read, or pull out your favorite guilty movie and bum on the couch.

I'm from New York (city, then suburbs) and live here now -- though it's starting to wear on me. I do like city living partly for the many entertainment/food/shopping options, as many others have said, but also because I can rely on public transportation and don't have to rely on owning/maintaining/driving a car. I also like not having to commute 2 hours a day to work, and in a city, there are more jobs per square mile than in a less dense area. At this point in my career, I appreciate the flexibility to move around if I'd like. I also volunteer with various organizations, which is something I wouldn't have the opportunity to do in a small town.

But in a city that's as big as New York, am I going to sit on the train for three hours round-trip to go to a free concert in Park Slope? Maybe once a year. I would much prefer to move to a more compact city, such as Boston or Washington. I adored Boston when I lived there, and had much more energy to actually do things because I was facing a 10-minute train ride (or 30 minute walk) vs. who knows how long on the train. When the economy picks up and more jobs become available (or after I get my master's degree) I will definitely be in the market to move.

I live in the center of a big US city and am raising my son there. Even if you are caught up with the daily grind or just prefer not to do those special things....I think there is such a wonderful "energy" and diversity of people in a big city that makes those extra hours worked & $ spent worth it!

I live in Montreal and I do take part in the festivals. It wouldn't be summer without the Jazz festival, the comedy festival, walking across the bridge to see the fireworks. I even submitted a film for the m60 festival. It is great to live in a city that is medium size. I live in the suburbs but am a 20 minute drive to down town but lately I take the metro. Winter of course is harder we have the lights festival in February where every museum is opened all night.

I'm with Basil&Bones..."In a nutshell, even if you don't take advantage of what your city has to offer, just be grateful that when you want it, it's there. Because when it's not there....oi".
Indeed, I've been in a small town for roughly eight years and it blows my mind what I gave up in New York. I really didn't appreciate it. Here, employment opportunities are narrowed down to retail, factory positions, and of course the coveted medical field.
I thought I needed to leave New York because things were getting hectic. Now I realize I just needed an extended vacation. I'd rather put up with the noise, the high cost of living, and the population size just to be able to walk to the corner store.

@ twn1andcounting - I agree about the volunteering. We've been looking at smaller towns outside the city and sadly, the same volunteer opportunities just aren't there.

I love living in NY - because I can turn down something to do every night of the week.

@thefarmingman I agree about access. For the first time in my life, I'm living in a place where the offerings of things to do (including bars & parks) are rather limited. But it's the lack in access to these limited offers, rather than exactly what is on offer that gets me the most. City life gives me a sense of freedom, even if it is sometimes also accompanied by urban guilt.

This is why I live in Seattle, on Capitol Hill. It's not that I partake in all that there is, but I do, when my budget permits, but in recent years, everything's gone up, but my income, including rent, which goes up beyond what my budget can handle right now.

But despite that, it's the fact that I can leave my car, and walk for most things, like to the grocery store, downtown, as Capitol Hill is within walking distance of it, that kind of thing.

I grew up in a suburban environment, and while it had it's pluses, being tied to the car to get everywhere wasn't one of them .

Even as a kid, I've always loved Seattle, and now that I live here, I love it, being in a vibrant neighborhood, being able to walk, observe, photograph etc my 'hood is something I would not trade for anything.

And no, it does not mean you have to partake in everything that a big city, such as Seattle has to offer, but it means you can meet people, other creative types for instance, and not have to drive a ways to do so, or to partake in the art walks etc necessarily.

And for that, I think paying a bit more for a smaller place is worth it, within reason.

I went to grad school in Bloomington, Indiana, after living in several large cities (NYC, London, Boston). One aspect of life there that I loved was that pretty much everybody went to everything--film series, opera, theater, concerts, fairs, farmers market, visiting author talks, sporting events, etc. And because it is a big university it drew good events as well as sponsored its own. Most events were low-cost, often free. It was easy to engage, plus you saw friends everywhere. So many wonderful similar events in the cities where I've lived have cost the earth, plus you are "spoiled for choice"--you cannot possibly do them all.

Living in DC for 10 yrs. we see the most "sites" when people come to visit. We are pretty good about going out for eating/drink, but I think you always feel that guilt in some form. We've lived abroad in a few cities as well and always look back thinking why didn't we do this or that.

Agreed with a few comments that having the option is key...I think I would feel suffocated if I didn't have the options we have.

We live in Bath in the UK. It's perfect. Small enough to be able to get to green space in just a few mins but large enough to have loads of restaurants and bars and gigs and so on. There are food festivals all the time. If we want more, we have Bristol just 12 mins by train. I wouldn't want to live out in a village as I love being able to walk to town for food and drinks any time. I wouldn't want to live in a bigger city though.

I almost never go to big street fairs, baseball games or concerts. I don't like crowds. I do love that I can get any kind of food, any kind of plant, any kind of home decor, any kind of book or art or... anything I can think of is usually right here. I love that I can find groups of people that want to watch old art house films, or take part in an annual pub crawl wearing Santa costumes. I love that low cost airfares are available at my local airport all the time. I love that people here are well educated, so they generally don't believe in fundamentalist religious ideas that cause so much strife in the world.

My neighborhood has wonderful people, beautiful Victorian houses, a thriving outdoor market scene on the weekends, and I can walk everywhere I need to go. For me that's reason enough to be here.

However, I do think I take advantage of what my city has to offer: In the past week alone I've been to four concerts, two outdoor festivals, two yoga classes (one in a beautiful park on the riverfront), barre and spinning classes, Italian class, an outdoor farmer's market and flea market, and I've taken the dogs to the park a few times. I've racked up several miles of walking and biking, and tonight I'm going to swim some laps at the free aquatic center before headed out to a cooking class. When I lived in the suburbs I didn't do nearly as much because I had to travel further to do things, and a lot of my time and energy was consumed by commuting. Everything required more planning and commitment and it was harder to do things I simply felt like doing on the fly.

Love, love, love Chicago! I moved here about a year ago from one of Chicago's insipid far Northwest suburbs, which are void of anything cultural. For me, being in the city is like a starving person being in front of a huge buffet. I want to taste it all. There's so much to do and see, sometimes it's hard to find the time to take it all in. I'm working on it.

A family I know is constantly out and about, taking in every festival, street fair, special event, etc. Just thinking about doing all of that is exhausting to me. We live in the same city that they do, and I mainly love having the ability to walk somewhere for dinner if I want to, drop off our library books on foot, and teaching my kids how to navigate public transit (not to mention, how to be quiet and polite while riding said public transit). To each his own...

I think of this a lot. Especially when I'm in crawling in traffic and every driver (except me) is an idiot! For me it's the OPTION of doing great stuff if I want to. Also, most of us who live in the city simply love the sounds and sights of cities. I love the lights. I love sitting in my loft at night and looking at the lights of buildings. I could never look outside to the complete darkness of a rural landscape. Too quiet..too dark. For me, the city is mine...and I can take it in whenever I want.

When I first lived in DC for grad school, I didn't do a lot of the cultural stuff. I was too busy with studying and didn't live on a good bus line. When I got a job there, I picked an apartment (and its steep rent!) on a bus line exactly so I could do all that stuff I never did. About once or twice a month, I'd go in for a special exhibit or an event. More often, though, once I was living on that bus line... I was taking the metro in to go out to dinner, meet up at happy hour, visit Eastern market, or go grocery shopping. Ultimately, I ended up driving my car so little I'd forget which side the tank was on.

I'm happy to pay the higher rent in exchange for the ability to go and have that option, but also to have the option of less driving and feeling like I'm more independent. I never feel so trapped as when I'm stuck in a car in traffic or circling a great neighborhood looking for a place to park.

I've lived in Chicago for 16 years and while there are "standard" touristy things I still have never done (never been to the Adler Planetarium, never been to the Observation Deck of either the Hancock or the Sears Tower), I've been fortunate to enjoy much of what the city offers. I'm at a play or a musical or a concert about every two weeks. I enjoy just about every cuisine and a whole bunch of fusion/hybrids on a regular basis. In the summer, I hit a street festival at least once a month. I can't imagine just staying at home when there's so much to do...

Its like you read my mine. My husband and I are ALWAYS saying we don't take advantage of the area we live in. For us its not just the city (Seattle) but the AMAZING scenery and mountain walks just a short drive away.

We had to move out of the city because it was so expensive. I hate that we're surrounded by Walmarts and Targets. It's as though all the character and culture has been drained from the community. But thats why its cheaper. I think a place is only worth what people are willing to pay for it. The awesome stuff isnt tied to the location, it goes where the people are. So until people decide paying exorbitant rates for a 0.5 bedroom is a waste of their hard earned cash, the people making the money will keep hiking it up and the cool stuff will stay there.

I think I went out the least when I lived smack dab in the middle of D.C. I felt like I was already "out" just by living in it, doing my mundane and wonderful things.

Now I live in the suburbs and spend my weekends at the pool and the grocery store.

@sprayfaint, i totally get this! I love living in NY - because I can turn down something to do every night of the week.

Oh, I forgot to add I spend my suburban weekends at the pool reading the entire New York Times.

I live in Pittsburgh and have found that while rent in the city is higher than the suburbs, buying and owning a home in the city is just as cheap as the suburbs. I find that I enjoy the people in the city more than those in the burbs - more variety of people, more ethnicities, more diversity. Also, we eat out a lot and are vegetarians, so greater diversity in restaurants and more options are key. We do, though, also take advantage of the amenities the city has to offer, such as free concerts, art crawls, festivals, super cheap city pool memberships, museums, walkability, sporting events, etc. I always wish that I could do more than I do, but then again, I feel as if I experience the benefits of the city daily, regardless of whether or not I am attending an event.

For me, so much of living in a city has a lot to do with resources. We don't go out to eat a ton, but when we do, at least we have world class restaurant options. We cook a lot, but in a more metropolitan area, we have access to a lot of ethnic grocers and better ingredients. Many major works of art travel here, most bands (big or small) stop here, comedians do shows here, and I can't even discount Craigslist. When you have a big Craiglist presence, it makes it a lot easier to furnish your home and you don't have to buy everything new or cheaply made.

I grew up in the 'burbs, dependent on my folks to drive me anywhere. And even from a very young age I felt like a prisoner. No thanks. It's the city for me....first to Pittsburgh for college, now in Washington DC. Even though I'm old and prosperous enough to have a car, that feeling of liberation that comes from being able to walk or take transit persists. Sure I spend some weekends "vegging" and failing to take advantage of the city's offerings. That's okay. Life's a banquet but you don't have to eat everything.

That picture is from right by my house! UWS, 95th and Amsterdam.

The beautiful thing about living in a city is the variety, diversity, CHOICES! Even if you choose to do nothing, or go to the same shops and restaurants all the time, we pay these high prices to have the opportunity to do something different. When I stay with family in the suburbs, I start to feel very trapped. I can't go anywhere without a car, and once I get in the car, my options are limited to box stores and chain restaurants. I definitely do not make it to anywhere near enough events in the city, but just walking down the street gives me experiences I cannot have anywhere else. And having the option to be car free is worth more money than I can explain!

i grew up in toronto and never took advantage of it. recently a friend moved there and asked for recommendations and i had nothing that the average tourist wouldn't already know. i think it's pretty common for people to not really take advantage of what their city has going on until someone visits them.

in vancouver, i made more of an effort, but i'd still skip the vancouver fringe, the bard on the beach series, and the film festival. sad part is, many of my friends actually went to these things every year and i just passed.

in pittsburgh, i do try to make it out to some city events (especially my neighbourhood's monthly gallery crawl), but i rarely advantage of the many world-class museums or the symphony. i did visit the national aviary, though, and seeing two condors up close was pretty amazing.

Much like many others have said above me living in a a city doesn't just mean access to all of the city events and festivals like you mentioned.

Outside of a city your day would probably be something more like: I drove around for three hours from thrift store to thrift store, then drove home to get my swimming things, then headed to the pool, drove out to the grocery store and then drove that stuff home to put it away, then took the dogs I was dogsitting to the park as the sun went down. When I got home I was exhausted from all the driving.

Living in a city means the things you want to do are right outside your door just a short bike or walk or ride on public transportation away. It's an entirely different kind of living, one I'm still getting used to after recently making the move from the endless urban sprawl of the Orlando-metro area to the compact well-planned downtown area of Portland, OR.

Since I moved two months ago the amount of time I have spent outside has soared while the time spent in my car has fallen to nearly zero. I absolutely love it, and don't even mind that I can not afford to do much that costs money anymore.

I live in Milwaukee, which is a mid-sized city with a wonderful choice of cultural, dining, and entertaining things to do. Although I don't take advantage of everything the city has to offer, it's nice to know that the choices are there should I get a hankering to go out. I do not like small suburban towns (too boring), the options are depressing and those places are too car-centric. Give me a mid-sized or larger city any day of the week.