We moved in last Saturday and have already had guests over on three different occasions. Our friends love US, not our stuff. Yes, there are still boxes and boxes and boxes around and things aren't perfect, the each evening was perfect! We had good food, good wine, and great company. Our friends don't care that things are still disorganized, the walls aren't painted and the trim is still babypoop yellow.

I guess it begs the question about why we entertain. Do we do so to impress our "friends" or to enjoy their company? This is more than a house, it is a home, and a home should be filled with friends and loved ones. Houses are just filled with stuff. We really want this place to be a gathering place where friends come because they know they will get a warm welcome, some good food and companionship.

If I waited for it to be perfect I'd never invite anyone.

Yup, what mntwmyn said. Of course I like my place to look nice when I have guests, but waiting for "perfect"? Chances are they won't notice anyway, and if they do or it's something obvious, it can just become something to laugh/talk about.

No one is going to be thinking bad things about me because I still have boxes to be unpacked or art to be hung. And if there WERE people who would think badly of me, I wouldn't want to invite those sorts of people over anyway.

Amen mntwmyn... I used to live in an apartment by myself and never invited anyone over because it wasn't perfect. After living there nearly 2 years, I moved out regretting that I had never made any memories in that space.

I feel that we often focus on what we don't have instead of what we do and therefore define our lives because of such. I personally enjoy having people see the transitions that a home goes through. Each time we have people over, there is something new in the space to notice.

And if you have a large project looming (painting, hanging artwork, assembling furniture,etc) why not invite your friends over and tackle it together?

Do NOT oppress your friends with your dissatisfaction with or your intentions for your house. Like I do.

The headline is not "perfect"

If they're really your friends, they won't care.

That said, I don't invite a lot of people over because I live a little too far away. Also, I'm moving in a month and things are already pretty barren.

I just moved and while i'm excited to throw myself into many long-term home projects (from painting to finding and hanging window treatments), i simply love the space i'm in and i want to share that with the people in my life.

There was a moment where i was compelled to get everything together before company comes. But then, i wouldn't have anyone over for a long time! And it's currently more important to have love and good times in my place, rather than "keeping up appearances" with the perfect sofa.

I am having a "painting party" to tackle some large rooms, but I'm more excited to host a "girls night in" at my place this weekend...regardless if i have enough seating.

We'll be hosting Christmas Eve for the first time this year for extended family (about 20 people). We added on to our house last year and we don't have everything the way we want it inside yet, but that will evolve over a period of years I suspect. I did give our 1980's era bathroom a quick-fix redo without spending a lot of money: painted all of the cabinetry/vanity white, installed new handles, removed old wallpaper, painted, installed new faucet, re-caulked, hung artwork. That made a HUGE difference and makes me feel a lot better about having guests over.

I don't usually mention it if something isn't finished or there is work to do on a room unless it's totally obvious (like a wall missing or something) - I feel like it draws more attention to it if I do.

Perfect is not even a goal for me, but even so, there is much work to be done...

No one will ever know (unless you tell them) that the rug in your dining room is not the rug you ultimately hope to have... or if the picture you will one day hang is still in the attic... or if there are still a few to-be-unpacked boxes in the cellar.

Exposed lathing, holes in ceilings and partially demo'ed rooms are another issue (and we have all of these).

I just invite people over and, for those seeing the place for the first time, a simple "it's a work in progress" is all I say.

And, as my spouse is fond of saying "We all live in unfinished houses..."

I love it when I go to people's houses and tell me what project they are working on, what they just finished, or what they have planned. I don't view it as a dissatisfaction with their home, but rather an interest and involvement with their home. That's the kind of people I enjoy.

That's kind of like the people who wait until timing is "perfect" to get married or have children...they usually wait too long, and then complain that their life didn't turn out "perfectly". You'll never be completely ready, and life will never be perfect - it's about relationships, not stuff.

Okay, I get what everyone's saying here, and I agree to a certain degree, but I look at it this way; I would never ask someone to go out on a romantic dinner with me and show up wearing my old USC hoodie and pajama bottoms.

What I'm trying to say is when I entertain, I put my best foot forward, but never set myself up for failure by expecting perfection. I make do with what I have, but I make it awesome. I want my guests to know I made an effort, that I am celebrating them and that our time together is special, not just something I haphazardly threw together.

I guess the question that begs to be asked, in this case, is what type of party are you throwing? In most cases, it's more about the who than the where.

I'm hosting my in-laws (12 of them - including siblings and spouses!) and some of my family for the first time ever in our new house. I've been running myself ragged trying to get as much finished as I possibly could (painting, window treatments, pictures on walls, extra seating) and while it's been fun to do, I wish I wasn't forced to do it so quickly (or with a 1 year old underfoot).

While I know it won't be "perfect" I really want it to look like a home and feel comfortable and inviting as opposed to the stark white palate that it was a couple of months ago. Of course our families will love the time with us, not the decor, but I take a lot of pride in my home and want that to be reflected to those who visit it.

I bought a house last fall which needed a fair bit of work. I did wait until the following summer to have a housewarming party because I wanted to get the bathroom fixed up (running water for a party is always a good thing), but the house was in no way perfect. I ripped up acres of shag carpet, which left a gap along all the baseboards I've yet to trim out. Only half the rooms have been repainted, and the kitchen and upstairs bath still await gutting. So my standard was working bathroom and a good cleaning. It was nice to get people's reactions to the work in progress, and also get some feedback on future directions to take.

My family already came down to visit after we moved a state over, they were just stoked to see a new area and a larger apartment vs the crap-hole we were living in. My mother in law and stepfather in law are coming down for Turkey Day, and then we found out my brother in law and his wife are coming down the following day as a surprise to them. We have unfinished projects, but certainly wouldn't turn them away.

Am I the only one who will never live in a 'perfect' home? There are ALWAYS going to be more projects I want to do and more things I want create. I like it that way, I think of my apartment as a constant work in progress.
Also while I do put my 'best foot forward' and try to clean and make thinks as presentable as possible. (Sometimes throwing together a quick-fix for the sake of looks.) I love it when someone hasn't been to my apartment in a months or a weeks, or even days and can say 'Wow, that is awesome, I love your new shower curtain/shelves/end table.'

I moved on Halloween and I was starting "the cure" hoping to have enough done by the holidays that I could host a holiday housewarming party. I plan to do this whether it's perfect or not... but a lot of my friends will probably be sitting on the floor because I still don't have a couch.

not having a couch will be the excuse I use if I don't end up having the party.

8 years that's how long they've been waiting. 8 years ago they where just friends, today they're family. They don't care, they never did. Its just me.

Hopefully 2010 will be the year. Hopefully!

To make our house perfect I think we'd need to knock it down and start again...so no, I am not waiting for that to happen! :-)

We bought a house in July, stripped the wallpaper and painted downstairs, but upstairs has been totally untouched. I've invited people over in small groups and I keep meaning to have a housewarming (now holiday party, I guess) but I'd love to have upstairs de-wallpapered and painted before that happens. Somehow I don't think that is going to happen...

Also it's nice to ask your friends' opinions and experiences regarding your remaining projects. My friends are a stylish bunch so they have great ideas as to what I can do with my place and good sources...

My place has been a continual work-in-progress anyway from the day I moved in, and probably will be till I move or get carried out.

I just moved into my first house a few months ago and I do want it to be slightly more perfect (and by perfect I mean done) before I start entertaining. I've painted almost every single room in the house and we have almost all of our furniture and rugs, so it's close to done-ish. Before all of that happened I didn't want anyone to come over because I wanted everyone to see the house looking its best.

We still have no art on the walls (I'm taking my time deciding what to hang where!) and I need to finish painting the downstairs bathroom. There are other longer term projects-most of the trim in the house needs a fresh coat of paint, I want to build radiator covers and I need to paint the ceilings at some point, but all of that won't stop me from having people over.

My husband, on the other hand, wanted everyone to come over immediately, even when we had boxes all over the place. So we've had a few friends over for casual visits but we probably won't have an official housewarming party until after the holidays.

I just moved into my apartment in the summer. It's my first, so I'm pretty broke. It's taking awhile to get furniture (all I had at first was a sofa and a bed and a lack table). I didn't invite people over at first because, well, one, I didn't know anyone, and two, it would have been difficult to serve food. Now that I have a table (secondhand) I feel much better about inviting people over for dinner. So to answer the question, I won't wait until my home is perfect, just until I have adequate furniture to entertain.

We had the most amazing candle-lit Christmas at our house last year with bare cement floors, primer on the walls, unfinished door jams, and barely any functional lighting. We had a fire going and the tree all lit up - it was beautiful.

My bf & I are going on our 2nd year at our apartment and we *still* don't have a coffee table - where would our guests put their drinks??
Therefore we haven't yet had the little dinner party I would like to throw someday.

Yikes, if we waited for perfect, there'd never be any company - ever! Things like rugs or paintings definitely aren't so bad. And if your friends and family know you, then they know your house is in progress.

We've had people over for dinner when we were without kitchen countertops and half our kitchen items were strewn across the basement. People will understand that you're in the middle of something. And honestly, it seems to make them more interested in the end result if they can see how awful everything was inbetween.

I invite close friends over regardless of the state of our apartment, because I know they won't care! I don't like to have acquaintances over unless it's in a nice state, though -- I feel like they will still judge me & retain that impression. :) However, I don't wait until completely "perfect" because that takes too long. I decorate to my greatest financial ability and then iteratively tune as more paychecks come in!

My husband and I just closed escrow on our first home a little over a week ago. It has popcorn ceilings, carpet, smells of smoke, needs a roof, plumbing, etc. I have put in far too many Saturdays hanging crown molding/moving/painting for friends in their homes for me to not take advantage of their free manual labor :) They are a part of the process.

But I have the philosophy that I want to make everyone who comes into my house feel like they're at home. The only thing that allows perfection is guests, friends and family alike.

I think this is a good topic! Our house has been under renovations for the past year and a half. We haven't had many people over, ever. Well... we will have just couples come over, but not so much on the dinner party invites.

We usually just saying we're still working on things (which is usually quite obvious because there will be raw plywood pieces in somewhere) and if they ask us what we have planned, then we will tell them.

As far as decorating my home? I wouldn't let unfinished decorating (because it's never reeeally finished, is it?) hinder me from having guests visit.

This is something I struggle with, a legacy of my mother's "keep up appearances for the neighbors" mindset. I always fear that I'm going to be judged by other people, though I know that I shouldn't worry about it. I'm trying to learn to relax about these things from my boyfriend, who's pretty much a slob, yet never thinks twice about inviting people over.

robinRD, don't worry if you don't have a sofa--have your party anyhow! Just make your party very casual and let your guests know you just moved in. If you have some friends nearby, let them know your dilemma and see if they can bring over some chairs or floor pillows. Place them around your dining table or a coffee table and people will be comfortable enough. If you don't have a coffee table, stack some moving boxes together and cover them with a simple tablecloth. Dim the room lights, light some candles and plug in some twinkling holiday lights. Then, as long as you have music, food, drinks and good friends, everyone will have fun. Good luck!

I struggle with this. It's not simply a keeping up with appearances thing but when I feel like my outsides aren't in order (my home) my insides aren't in order either. I just want things to look really nice, it is who I am. We are at the tail end of kitchen remodel and the dining room was getting an overhaul as well. It won't be finished though for a while still and my embarrassing living room is on the list as well but I ran out of money and steam. I have not had anyone in my home since spring due to kitchen remodel and things moved all over the house. I am going WAY out of my comfort zone though and having a party for friends in December. I still have a lot of things on my too do list but I decided to go for it feeling like holiday decorations will help cover some things up and make everything feel more homey! I guess that people call me Martha for a reason though since I do like perfection - can't help it, it is just who I am.

Always invited despite feeling red burning shame over incomplete projects.

Our kitchen is atrocious. We moved 3 months ago and plan to gut and redo it completely in the late winter/spring. I do tell everyone exactly how it will look. (it is really, really, really bad)

The rest of the place is almost there... but even when we had no couch, we had a 20 person party.

When I was in school people were constantly at my house. They always felt welcome to drop by and we had a lot of fun. The place always looked terrible - there were no chairs, napkins, dinner table, etc, no consistent food in the fridge - everyone sat on the bed and ate whatever we happened to have.

Then I got older and realized I had no idea how to make the house grow up too. And now I don't invite anybody over because all of a sudden I'm aware that my house is ghetto and for some reason I thought my friends would care. It's very sad :(

I think inviting friends over only helps tackle those projects that you never seem to get to, so over a period of time when you've invited several groups of friends over...you have accomplished several of the decorating and home improvement projects too. Plus, my friends know I'm constantly changing things and redecorating so they typically say "oh I don't remember this!" and it starts a conversation of how puttinbuttin is obsessed with Apartment Therapy and is constantly changing things.

If I had to have a reason that I don't invite friends as often as I would like it's b/c the house is messy. I need to figure out a routine to keep it clean without hiring cleaners. :o)

In my new house - with unpacked boxes and unfinished spaces and empty yard - I'd like to finish a space, like the kitchen/DR/bath, and then transform it to create a little wonderland with great music, food, drinks, lighting, decorations and make it magic and fun. Like a perfect little cafe on a scruffy waterfront.

I've lived in my current place for 5 years. If I had waited to "perfect" it until I had people over, I wouldn't have had any visitors in the last 5 years. I just decided to paint a few walls, but probably won't have time to do the painting until after the holidays. Will that stop me from entertaining this season? Nope.

Would I invite friends over? Sure. But which friends depends on the stage I'm at. The same friends I'd hang around in sweats (to borrow Marc's analogy) are the same ones who I'd let see my messy apartment. Perfect takes too long. I'll settle for pretty good.

I personally will not have anyone over unless the entire apartment has been cleaned [dusted, vacuumed, clean bathroom]. That's just a personal preference but I actually think it is a bit disrepsectful to be invited somewhere and walk into a bathroom sporting vile ring stains in the toiletbowl or see filthy dishes piled in the kitchen sink, garbage cans overflowing and other assorted nastiness. Not only is it disrepsecful to me as a guest, but it makes me think of the person differently after such an experience.

I get a little embarrassed about my apartment because

1. The neighborhood is pretty shabby. Not dangerous or anything, just not particularly nice. The sidewalks are cracked, there's often trash on them, the buildings look kind of dirty. Personally, I find it charming that there are old buildings and lots of trees, but I know most people prefer the Burbank type of place where everything is clean and new.

2. My apartment is older and has been poorly redone. Wood floor was covered with cheap carpet and linoleum, and in the bathroom and kitchen the nice 1920s tile was painted over with a dreary off white that looks terrible and chips a lot. I still have high ceilings, big windows in all the rooms, and arched doorways, which is what I like about it. But the shabby redos are embarrassing.

3. My decorating is deeply limited by an almost nonexistent budget. I'm limited to thrift and salvage, hand me downs, and sidewalk finds. So I do not love everything in my apartment. If I had some money to throw at it, it would be a much chicer place...

So yes, I limit the people I invite over because I'm a little embarrassed by my apartment not being perfect. I know it will never be "perfect" but I just want it to feel comfortable, sophisticated, welcoming, and hip. That said, I'm really young, and a lot of people I know are in shabby dorm rooms or apartments that are still decorated like dorm rooms. And I know some people in their mid thirties whose apartments still feel like that. I am proud to say that I don't have anything from Ikea, I have a couple pieces of furniture I really like, and I do have an aesthetic that I am working toward.

I am doing the Cure right now, so I am hoping that pretty soon, at least the inside of my apartment will be something that I am thrilled to show off to friends who come over. I love to cook and I'd love to throw some dinner parties some day soon. I am working on it. I'm really happy to say that the Cure is helping to motivate me a whole lot and I will soon be a lot closer to having that perfect apartment. I've rearranged my living room furniture, repainted the living room, and I'm about to go buy some hooks to hang bags in my entry closet to improve my landing strip. My boyfriend's family is coming for thanksgiving, and even though I know they are not judgmental, I want the place to look lovely and welcoming. It's important to me that my space reflect well on me.

good topic as I'm disappointed at the lack of completeness to my new apartment when people will visit for the holidays.

I think you're always going to be harder on your home than your guests will be. Unless you're seating them on plastic buckets and serving dinner on a ping-pong table, most people won't notice all the shortcomings or imperfections unless you point them out. The point of entertaining is to enjoy your guests and vise versa, not to show off your impeccable taste or perfect home.

We haven't waited, but I've definitely spent the night before scrambling to complete tasks I've put off for months. The first time my husband's parents came to visit we stayed up until 4 am hanging pictures and rearranging the living room. If close friends are coming I don't care and if my parents are coming my dad will offer to hang pictures or fix things, so maybe it's only family we don't see very often.

As long as I can put food and libations into my guests' tummies, give them access to a working bathroom and keep things fairly clean, then I always entertain- I can't imagine going two years without having my friends and family over to cook them dinner and enjoy being together and celebrate whatever occasion we come up with as an excuse to party.

I love having nice stuff because it makes my house feel cool or stylish or cozy, or whatever function it serves, but hell, people are waaay more important than stuffI Of course I understand not inviting guests over mid-renovation, but and i can't imagine wasting any opportunity to spend time together because I haven't found the right rug or bookshelf for my space.

I have had to do a lot of soul searching on this topic. I am not good at hosting parties and my throat starts to close at the thought. However, the rest of my family pretty much insists now on having each and every event at my house. I guess I should feel good that they all feel most comfortable at my shabby place. But it still stresses the hell out of me. Reading these other posts helps.