We've always celebrated with 4 gifts: one from me, one from daddy, one from the two of us, and one from Santa--while we don't intend to fill the various need/want/wear/read categories, gifts usually fall into those categories. We do an additional gift for Solstice, but that's because I like to take the break, have a quiet evening full of candlelight and soup, and really appreciate a single gift (and that gift usually keeps each tot occupied for the last few days before Christmas, which is lovely).

With all of the other gifts we receive, the children have plenty and I never feel that we haven't given enough.

4 gifts really helps us think about what's most important to each of our littles, and the things they receive actually get played with/used.

one gift from santa, plus stuffed stockings, one gift from mommy and daddy. My children are still very tiny so the expectations are low, and I hope to keep it that way as long as possible. We aim to provide experiences and memories more than presents. When we do buy gifts, we try to keep them meaningful and thoughtful. Not to mention there are grandparents who like to buy presents for them. How much stuff, really, do little ones need?

Our son is 6 months old and we will be starting this tradition this year. We were thinking of it as three gifts from us (We are correlating the three gifts to align withthe fact that the three wise men brought three gifts on the first Christmas) and one from Santa.

I think the categories mentioned above may be a good way to pick gifts as we have been having a hard time deciding which three gifts are appropriate.

I love this idea.

The first time I've heard of limiting gifts this way is on this site, and I really like this idea. And those gift tags are great, I love the wooden ones. They look very festive and reusable.

I love this idea. With the economy the way it is, it's nice to have a little clarity and start a new tradition that gets back to basics.

this is my daughter's first christmas--she'll be 7 months--so I am new to the child christmas gift issue.

I guess my question/confusion is: do people who set these very strict gift limits buy toys, books, and things the rest of the year?

I always got a decent amount of presents for christmas and my birthday when I was growing up, but I also didn't get anything between holidays (beyond clothing to replace things that I had grown out of). anything that I wanted or needed had to wait until christmas or my birthday.

(I really am just curious and trying to figure out how I want to raise my daughter, I am not trying to be difficult.)

lcg

I fill in with seasonal toys 'just because.' You know, a new ball, or bubbles in the spring, but the bulk of our toy-giving happens at Christmas or on a birthday, so I often do a bit of aspirational buying (last year I bought puzzles at Christmas for my then 2 year old to grow into over the year). Since most of our gifts are high quality open-ended toys, they are always fun and fufill a variety of developmental needs as well as my tots grow older.

I rarely buy new books--we have such a terrific library, it really isn't necessary to add to our vast collection. I may buy a particular book if a library book becomes a favorite, but even then, it might wait for a holiday. I do tend to buy art supplies on an as needed basis, so while my parents would have given me a 'fun factory' for my birthday or christmas, I bought one for my tot this summer when I realized she'd enjoy using it with her gluten free dough. Paints, crayons and paper also flow through the house.

My big kid is almost 11 and my litte one is newly 3, and thus far, things have worked pretty well.

Choose what makes sense to you--there's no right way to do it.

Oh this is something I plan to do. love it

everyone in our family gets one present each. I've often heard of the tradition of no more than 3, because "Jesus only got 3 gifts, you think you're better than Jesus?" it makes me laugh.

I love the tags!

lcg,
I feel like I am out of the norm of everyone I am reading about here. My girls are each getting two books, two wooden puzzles, and a pair of Hanna PJ's. The older one is getting a Bamboletta doll and the younger one is getting a wooden xylophone. We buy books throughout the year, some new, some used from a great second hand store nearby or the library book sale. My 16month loves to be read to and will bring a book to you and start to climb in your lap for reading. Both girls love to sit and just look at them so I never think of them as presents, I think of them as things they need. We do go to the library to check out books as well.

My other indulgence (for them) is art supplies, we have markers, paints, crayons, paper etc on hand in abundance.

Neither set of in-laws live close by so gifts from them are usually money for college fund or more books.

I carry a notebook in my handbag and jot down present ideas through out the year as they crop up.

My son who just turned 11 will recieve a notebook computer (for middle school next year) some Tin-Tin comic books, a Star Wars Lego set and a watch.

My 9.5 year old daughter will get a volleyball net, Tin-Tin comic books, two music CD's, slippers and a watch.

Our 5 year old will recieve a Madame Alexander doll and an American Girl doll, comic books an animal alarm clock and a Playmobile Princess set.

The two year old is getting a Rody horse a Madame Alexander ballet doll and some Diego/Dora slippers, books, socks and sippy cups. Since she is our only child ever to be 'hooked' on a character or theme we are endulging her whims and buying the junky gifts.

The relatives on my side who live overseas in New Zealand will send candy and a comic book for each child ( like mine did when I was a child from the UK ) and on my husbands side the father in law will spend $10 or less at Big Lots and their Aunt and Uncle send nothing ever, ever,ever.........

So I do feel that it is up to us to get them things they need and want as there is no way in hell that they will recieve them at Christmas or any other time from anyone else. Their pocket money will simply not stretch that far nor can they look forward to generous gifts from extended family.

However when these items go on sale or are reduced through the year I will swipe them up and wrap them early and keep a list going so I know who gets what. This I also do for my 2 nephews and one niece in NZ also. Buying for so few people also keeps down the stress and by November I'm all set.

With their monthly allowance they tend to spend it on books, candy, art and craft supplies and their own friends gifts.

So the 'special' gifts like collector dolls, comic books and completed Lego sets sits in their own rooms on high shelves or bookcases and remain in each childs room while the rest of the items end up in our small 11 foot by 11 foot playroom and become family toys.

We do something similar. We don't tell the children that these are the parameters, but by now they get a sense of what Christmas morning feels like. We always select, for each child:

1 "big gift" (this year a digital camera and a playmobile set for the boys and a waldorf doll for the baby)
1 arts and crafts supply type thing (big marker set, coloring books, or a project kit)
1 "lovey" (a stuffed animal or sweet thing, even for the third grade boy, because cuddliness is important to hold on to)
1 book (a really good one!)

So that's four things and they are split between the grandparents (who usually buy the "big gift"), Santa (who also puts tiny gifts like miniature finger puppets or a small pack of pokemon cards in the stockings), and us. We divide it out however it falls.

Oh, as for "through the year" they get 10 "points" each week if they've met their basic responsibilities (like putting your lunchbox on the counter and your shoes away, making your bed, etc...), fewer if they didn't follow through reliably, more if they went above and beyond (unloading the dishwasher or carrying in bags for us). Eventually a certain number of points translates into the right to make a purchase of your own choosing. It's not equivalent to money, its a ratio, so 30 points may earn you the right to make a purchase of $10 or less or some such equivalent. They get to plan out and save up for things they want, they change their minds, they "pool" their points and share, etc.... They don't expect us to buy them any other toys because they know they need to use their points and plan it out. It comes up fairly rarely throughout the year, actually, and its a big fun deal when they do decide to use the points.

We don't get things they "need" for Christmas, we get them things they need when they need them.

In our house the kids get 3 gifts from Santa because Jesus got 3 gifts. This was recently modified to a 4th gift because my son asked what Mommy & Daddy get him LOL. So, now they get 4 gifts stockings. Santa sticks firmly to the kids' wish lists (max 5 things allowed on list). Mom & Dad can be creative.

I've heard of the want/need/wear/read approach and discussed it a lot in a class studying the book "Unplugging the Christmas Machine", but could never figure out what I'd get the kids for xmas that they "need." Perhaps I'm just very particular about defining "needs" vs "wants" but all my kids need are food, clothing, shelter, school supplies. They get those things when they actually need them. The only example I've been given of a "need" gift is a winter coat. But my kids need their coats in October. What have other people given as a "need" gift?

The 3 gifts works for us because right now I really just like to give them toys for xmas (they are 5 & 6). We almost never buy toys outside of xmas/birthdays, although they buy their own with allowance.

I can see the want/need/wear/read approach working better once we are past the toy stage and clothes are actually a desired xmas gift.

We do this and it works perfect. The kids are 1 and 4 so they of course don't have the whole thing figured out yet. They also get way too many gifts from other family members but after 4-5 Christmases I firmly believe that even without those, we'd still only do these 4 gifts. They just don't NEED to get 150 gifts each. A handful of quality gifts that they actually want are more long-lasting.

Those of you whose kids only get one gift from Santa, how do you explain why Santa only gives them one gift, but little Timmy down the street and all the kids at school get several presents from him? We've done the one gift from Santa since our oldest (now 12) was born, and occasionally this question crops up. I usually say something along the lines of "Mommy and Daddy asked Santa to only give you one present each because there are other kids who need more from him" but that answer seems to imply that those other kids' families can't afford presents themselves. How do you answer that question?

I only have one child who will be three on Jan 3 and now that I think about it - the gifts we have been giving her sort of follow the want, need, wear and read theory just different in application. At her age she really only wants to open the packages - the more destruction the better so I tend to wrap all of the items individually - and I do mean one pair of socks. I admit that part of it is for me since that is what my mom always did and it is my understading that is what my grandmother did also. Since her birthday and Christmas are so close together - I tend to indulge in small items throughout the year on as needed (crayons) or seasonal basis(bubbles - small splash pool). We have been blessed with many hand me downs from our friends so she has not really needed toys except for a few - we bought a kitchen for her birthday last year - but didn't give it to her until July and her godmother gave dishes etc. In regards to the Santa question - which obviously has not been addressed in our house yet - I was always told that Santa brought you a sock gift and one larger item (bike) or smaller item combo (doll and clothes) to ask for or expect more was greedy and that is the philosophy that I plan to follow.

Abra Cat

We were told as kids, and now tell our own that the mom and dads say that Santa brought all the other gifts, but really he only brings one to each kid.
Similarly, we always knew that every kid got a gift from Santa for Christmas, but that might be the only gift he gets, so there's Toys for Tots and other toy drives to help parents give gifts to their kids.

We only buy our son one Christmas gift from us. But we also buy fun little things and treats to fill his stocking on Christmas eve night while he's sleeping. It is so easy to get carried away when they are young and toys are relatively inexpensive... but as they get older, kids gifts cost much more, and we'd like to keep his gift expectations the same every year. Christmas gift expenses really add up quickly, especially if you have more than one kid... this is our first year with two children. Plus, he gets gifts from his grandparents and aunt & uncle at Christmas, too. I don't want to raise children who believe happiness comes from stuff; they'll be unhappy all their lives if they believe such lies.

I tried "want, need, wear, read" for awhile but it didn't make *me* happy. I like giving my kids gifts of things I know they'd love. I don't think it's teaching them that happiness comes from stuff or setting them up for unhappy lives. While we don't buy them mountains of presents that climb the walls and do a 3 foot radius around tree (anymore...), I no longer limit it to just four either.

"I guess my question/confusion is: do people who set these very strict gift limits buy toys, books, and things the rest of the year?"

I do buy things the rest of the year. Bubbles because it's the first nice day outside, clothing because something has been outgrown etc. My own parents would smother us with gifts at Christmas but not be able to buy things the rest of the year and I don't want to be that way either. I want the happy middle ground of some fun stuff to open but not so much they're overwhelmed.