My Mother came up with the idea years ago to use a white table cloth for our dinner table and leave Sharpie markers (all different colors) out for everyone to write what they are thankful for and date it. Each year, we use the same cloth and it is very touching to see where people were in their lives when they wrote stuff, who visited with us that year, what people wrote whom are no longer with us and you are able to watch the young ones grow up on this cloth each year. It's like a timeline for your family. Hope this helps.

wow Nobo52, what a great idea!

Nobo52, that is an awesome tradition.

The nice thing about Thanksgiving is that it's so much easier to share with friends. I'd say start the day by participating in your local Turkey Trot 5K and then find some other friends who are also not with family on T-day to share a meal with, whether it's traditional turkey or something totally different. Add lots of wine and you'll have a great day.

I make reservations someplace fabulous - it's honestly much more restful and enjoyable than all that work and/or travel.

London for 4 days.

You really are starting your own traditions here, even if it's just the two of you. Doesn't matter what it is, just the repeating of it will make it more and more special. Do what you did last year, and add/change it to make it feel better to you. Perhaps invite another couple who is also alone or away from family.

Being alone on Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity to pick up strays (people, not animals, though the animals are nice too) -- a lot of people get really down around the holidays, especially if they are not with family. You'll be their hero: lock in one or two friends, then just start inviting everyone you know. I was expecting a modest 6 for Thanksgiving one year, and through various changes in other people's plans, ended up with 26 -- including a banjo player, a cellist, and a guitarist who entertained us into the night. It was a great party, and everyone was grateful to be included and on excellent guest behavior. They understood we were all in this together -- alone on a holiday -- and everyone was open and charming to one another.
You can also have small dinner, but identify other households nearby having Thanksgiving parties and invite them out for a walk (with a frisbee) followed by cocktails and pie at your home later. Many people don't enjoy their families and will be happy to have an excuse to leave them for a bit.

If you end up with just the two of you again, consider NOT hewing so close to tradition, which will just make you miss the big traditional family scene. Splurge on truffles, make risotto, drink champagne in front of the fire, and challenge each other to see who can write down 100 things to be grateful for first.

I've had Thanksgivings at my grandparents' house, Thanksgivings at my parents... traditionally, I spend time with my Mom's side of the family. A couple of years ago, since my grandparents were going to be out of town with my other out of town rellies, I elected to do a road trip to spend Thanksgiving with my best friends' family.

There are some things even being in a different state can't take away from my tradition.
- The annual Thanksgiving re-listen of Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant"
- Football. Typically, I fall asleep to it. With my best friend's Thanksgiving group, we played a pick-up game.
- Turkey, and general over-eating.

While my family never does it because the guys are all about football, I really enjoyed my best friend's tradition of and go to a movie. After all that food, there really isn't the energy to do much else, and when better to hit the cinema?

I really love Nobu52's idea of a family tablecloth! Very charming.

---www.bymaggie.com---

I'm often away from my family on Thanksgiving and I've done all sorts of things over the years, from group potlucks with 20+ other people (in grad school- that was a blast) to going out to dinner with a few friends to doing absolutely nothing at all (which can be very restful). It's nice to try different things and discover you really want to do, and make your own decisions/traditions rather than try to recreate what you had elsewhere.

Every year I start Thanksgiving day by running a turkey trot for a local hunger organization. It is a great way to start the day, both for the pre-eating exercise, and as a reminder of how blessed I am...

When I was in my first year if grad. school, my then new husband and I were not able to get back home for thanksgiving. I was complaining about it to one of my professors and he said to me in a very stern tone, "You are with your family here, now--you will celebrate with your family." I have never forgotten that and it changed the way we did thanksgiving. We have developed a set of traditions that are our traditions (including spending thanksgiving with each other, although we tend to have people over for a leftovers party later in the weekend, and often do a dessert ting on thanksgiving night with some good friends). We always do a turkey and our traditional trimmings (including my grandmother's dressing recipe, smashed potatoes, homemade noodles, spinach gratin, and pumpkin cake because neither of us likes pie); a special morning meal to hold us until the big event, and we watch the A&E Pride and Prejudice while things are cooking (added this in the late 1990s) and the George C. Scott Christmas Carol after dinner (added this around 1988).

Even 30 years later, we really look forward to our traditions together. We really use that weekend to relax and reconnect and get ready to go into the final push of grading as the academic term comes to an end. It is a peaceful weekend that we are both very thankful for--and I include my thanks to that professor for what he said so many years ago.

My husband and I use the holiday as an opportunity to make a fabulous, four-course, five-start meal that doesn't include turkey or stuffing or pumpkin pie.

Last year's menu was a baby greens salad with panko-crusted broiled chevre, french onion tart, garlic soup, and crab legs with red-pepper and white-wine butter sauce.

Crab legs are so awesome that I think that might become it's own tradition. :-)

Love the tablecloth idea.

Why don't you invite another couple over to your house? Many of my friends celebrate with family plus friends to get that "big group" feeling you're describing. One of my friends is in the same situation as you, it's just her and her husband, but this year she's hosting dinner for 20+ friends, including families with children.

Break out the board games and the bubbly - one of my favorite Thanksgivings was me, my friend Abby and my Dad like little orphans at a horrible chain restaurant followed by a few friends wandering in later that night to get completely trashed playing Trivial Pursuit. Life isn't always a Hallmark card but with the right "oh what the hell" spirit, it is always an adventure!

@nobo52, i love your family tradition. reading it, almost brought tears to my eyes.

Even though my siblings and I no longer live at home, we make a point to always come home to mom's and be together. Our family likes to combine both cultures(american and chinese) by serving the usual turkey, honey baked ham, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce AND a side of sticky rice and egg rolls. =) my mom makes the best sticky rice, so that's the "gotta-have" dish at our Thanksgiving gathering.

Curling up in a ball of depression is one of my Thanksgiving traditions! Yay!

I've been away from family on most Thanksgivings. The best dinners have been champagne, caviar etc...recreating a traditional meal was just depressing. I also found restaurants to be depressing and there is usually a forced out time. Now I just spend the time in Europe with friends - this year Brussels & Bruge.

In my single days as a city girl (before I was in a couple), I'd shamelessly beg for invites from friends. As in, "So, (insert friend), your family is far away too. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? I make a mean pumpkin risotto. And of COURSE I'll bake you fresh bread!" It always worked. I'd start the day delivering a few extra pies to friends who were working (police and dispatch). The past two Thanksgivings, my sweetie and I checked into a posh hotel the night before Thanksgiving and ordered breakfast in bed and watched the parade.

LOVE the tablecloth idea, though!

Go to somebody else's house! My parents got a divorce when I was in college, not to mention that they were 4 hours away. I started going to Thanksgiving at my roommate's parent's house. 8 years later, that is now my Thanksgiving tradition!

Family Thanksgiving was always a nice family get together accompanied by nearly tragic foods. Years ago I established the tradition of challenging traditional food at my table. I utilize the components of the familiar meal and translate them into contemporary and ethnic feasts shared with my entourage of single available friends. The results are phenomenal: we have gone all over the globe including Indian featuring curried potatoes, sweet potato pakuras with cranberry chutney, there was a tamale fest, and once I traveled with one of those friends to Paris and introduced some serious food snobs to the joys of traditional American fare. That hubbub can be had with and without the children, and it truly makes me grateful for my chosen family.

I think these are all really great ideas... I have to say, though, that one of the nicest Thanksgivings I ever had was when I wasn't dating anyone, wasn't invited anywhere, and just spent it alone. I made myself a delicious roast chicken dinner with vegetables, drank a few beers (or some wine?), watched three great movies on dvd, and just relaxed with absolutely no obligations. There's something to be said for giving yourself a day to do absolutely nothing...

Since moving out on my own I've done everything from "making it to my hometown, come hell or high water" to having the whole clan over at my place, having a simple meal with friends, having a fancy over the top meal with friends, doing nothing special at all, etc. What I like best is what we've been doing for three years now. We go to the Chicago Diner for a vegetarian/vegan thanksgiving dinner. Then we come home and I knit. So easy yet still feels special.

One problem I found with doing Thanksgiving with friends is that people tend to have vastly different ideas of when is a good time for the meal. The year I found myself waiting for my friend's turkey to come out of my oven at nine in the evening was the year I swore to myself "never again!"

One of my best Thanksgivings (as an adult) was when I spent the middle part of the day cooking and serving at a nearby "soup kitchen", after which (it was sunny and not too cold) me & my bike headed out to the bike trails and rode our little hearts out. Now, with no friends or relatives, my husband and I will just be glad to have a long weekend to get school work done (semester is almost over) and eat some turkey. I guess my tradition is to enjoy what is ... !

Travel. Treat yourself to an exotic location. When you feel the need to establish your own tradition you will know it and then it will happen. I have no advice because I'm not there yet. Still traveling for the Holidays. You'd be very surprised at the people you meet who are doing the same thing, and it becomes a great Holiday!

My favorite Thanksgiving ever my freshman year of college when I was living in the dorm. Everyone went home but my mom came to me. She slept in my roommates bed and the morning of thanksgiving she went to the store and bought all kinds of Thanksgiving foods that could be made in the microwave. It was amazing and delicious, if a little cold. We spent the rest of the day walking around the deserted campus in the cold and watching 80's movies. One of my favorite memories with my mom.

This will be my first year spending Thanksgiving completely alone. I usually don't spend Thanksgiving with my family since I'll be home for Christmas a month later, so I'd instead spend Turkey Day with roommates, friends families, etc. This year everyone is leaving town and I'm actually really excited for a four day weekend and testing out a few recipes for Thanksgiving dinner!

Avoid depression, msjessiemeghan! You don't have to be miserable just because it's a holiday and you aren't doing anything Big Deal.

These days, my domestic partner and I roast a turkey breast, make stuffing and wild rice (Uncle Ben's), choose a fresh veggie (green beans, often). We make his family's jello salad recipe (uses banana, frozen strawberries, walnuts and sour cream) and a few other little things that we like and seem meaningful to us. Sparkling cider. Buy a dessert, if we want one. But we don't worry about any other "requirements" from our past or other people's ideas for the feast -- just the food WE like. (His favorite food is traditional Thanksgiving -- otherwise we'd probably do steak or something. Also, I arrange things so I have to cook very few things from scratch -- I hate cooking, but I do like eating! I find that middle ground that makes me happy!)

We have a home theater, so probably we will watch some new movies. And I always decorate our (fake, of course) Christmas tree on Thanksgiving weekend. (We aren't into sports, so no watching of the Bowl games.)

But when I lived alone, I'd just go to a nicer than usual restaurant for Thanksgiving and let the wait staff pamper me -- for better than usual tips, of course! And I'd go OUT to a movie -- lots of excellent movies open then. Then I'd treat myself to the kinds of yummy snacks and things (croissants and orange marmalade for breakfast) I either couldn't afford the rest of the time or that were not healthy enough to indulge in often.

I think the thing about Thanksgiving, in particular, is to make it something YOU enjoy -- it's not the traditions that are important, it's how you feel. Even if you love traditions and being with family and can't this year, you can find SOMETHING that pleases you as a substitute. You can always get back to the traditions another year.

I'm with those who invite friends over. I haven't had Thanksgiving with my parents and sisters in seven years even though it's my favorite holiday. I just celebrate a day or two before so that all of my friends who do have family plans can come too. In college, we'd get all the kids in the dorm who couldn't go home together for a potluck.

Last year, my then-new boyfriend's mom was coming into town a few days before Thanksgiving and I had already planned a meal for the time. It was the first time that I was meeting her and I had to pick her up at the airport not even really knowing what she looked like! Luckily my leg of lamb was a hit and I got in her good graces early :) I suppose it doesn't hurt that I got her son to start using drawers for clothes and pay his bills on time. Unfortunately a few of my not-so-close friends left a less than stellar impression...

I hate Thanksgiving food, have no desire to spend the day doing anything "traditional", and definitely don't want to be around the family. I do what Donald N. does, and often in the same place.

Dim sum.

I work in retail and know that Thanksgiving is my last day of calm for a while. I always tell everyone that I am going somewhere else so I can spend the day alone. I sleep in that morning, and then do whatever I want to all day. I usually watch a little of the parade and then old movies while I fix the parts of Thanksgiving that I love (turkey, stuffing, brussels sprouts) I always look forward to the day alone while my beloved hubby is with his family for the weekend. If you think about what you love, Thanksgiving alone can be the best holiday of the year

epindc--
You have just described my fantasy holiday.

We live 6 hours away from home and usually can not make it back for Thanksgiving! So, with the help my Brother and Sister in law (who also live in Chicago) we started Friendsgiving, where we eat early, share laughs and drinks, all while watching Christmas Movies all day! This is year 5, and still going strong!

My maternal grandparents always had a formal Thanksgiving dinner at their house when I was growing up. I always enjoyed eating and playing card/ board games with my family. Then my grandparents got tired of hosting, my parents separated, and no one else picked up the holiday.

For the past 2 years, I've hosted Thanksgiving dinner in my modest apartment for my immediate family, friends who can't afford to travel home for the holidays, and a few friends who've never celebrated Thanksgiving before due to religious upbringings.

Nothing can replace my grandparents' cooking & cozy home, but I really enjoy sharing my apartment with people I love. I'm looking forward to this year's dinner & am currently on the search for non-traditional additions to the menu.

I like the table cloth idea :-)

Sadness starts to settle in, just about November - no family around, but no vitimizing either. Sometimes it's relaxing - others just downright depressing. A non-T day meal as a picnic in the parc, crab-legs by all means involved, blankies and some sort of running-around game, enlist other "orpheline" and voila! new tradicion - for le Turkey Day. GrateFully!
And I am so making sure I have the paper table cloth present and complete with Sharpy rainbow tones...