How sad that a simple thing like asking your neighbor for sugar is no longer acceptable.

well half of my front door is glass, not covered up and leads directly into my living room-no entry way. It's really hard for me to peek around the corner without the person at the door seeing me. I probably wouldn't have answered if I saw that it was a teenager. They are usually trying to sell magazines.

I live in a secure building and I have to go downstairs to open the main door if I'm having guests. So, unless you call me I'm not opening my door.

living in the inner city, i would not open the door under those circumstances. people just don't do that in Boston, and not in the suburb i grew up in either, for that matter...maybe New Englanders really are that cold.

"I was glad I opened the door although there was extreme hesitation."
Fortunately it WAS your neighbor. Had it been someone with evil intent, you wouldn't be around to write this post. NO WAY would I open the door after dark if I didn't know who it was.

I have a peephole, and if someone I recognize is outside, I'll open the door. Otherwise- nope. And there's no guarantee I'll even answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone in the first place. I find nothing sad about being safe, rather than sorry.

It's really sad that there is trepidation to open your front door for a kid's voice these days. I live in a very safe town and know all my neighbors well so opening the door is no big deal. I still take a peek through the peephole before doing it but so I can be sure if the dog needs to go to his room first. He doesn't like men that come to the door.

Even when I lived in a city with about half a million people I still opened the door when people knocked. It's the polite thing to do. I don't think I could just leave it unanswered especially when you think about all the stories about people being attacked and knocking to find help. I could never live with myself if I didn't open for that person and I don't know how anyone else could.

Geeze, I didn't realize people were so paranoid about stuff like this. I guess I grew up in a very safe rural/suburban area, but it wouldn't even occur to me not to answer. I lived in a pretty rough area of the city with a peephole and answered then too- always a neighbor or the mailman.

Consider installing a door security chain...or answer the front door holding a baseball bat.

no, mostly because who *NEEDS* sugar after dark? is there seriously no store near by? It's sad, yes; I wouldn't even consider going to a neighbours for some food staple before just going to the store.

Nope. Unless I know you're coming over or I can clearly see you through the peephole, the door is remaining shut and locked.

Several years ago, someone knocked on my door rather late at night. I didn't recognise him through the peephole and he said he was my neighbour from #107 (the pod behind mine) and he needed to use my phone. I just told him through the door he'd need to go elsewhere. Glad I did, too--within a week, serial rapist was caught in the area who entered homes by knocking under the pretense of using the phone.

Sorry kid. Drink water from the hose.

People still borrow food-stuffs from their neighbors these days? I've never really felt comfortable asking my neighbors for that kind of thing and am more inclined to just run to the store and buy it for myself. Perhaps this is my urban mentality kicking in.

When my lawyer neighbor who worked out of his apartment died suddenly, we had a ton of people buzzing our apartment trying to find out what had become of their legal documents. One man repeatedly threatened us because they thought our neighbor had faked his death and ran off with their money. I'm still nervous when the buzzer rings and I'm not expecting someone.

My urban neighborhood is full of kids though, and I would spare a cup of sugar. I wouldn't let them in my apartment though.

I wouldn't answer the door. ... Someone came to my door at 12:30 at night saying he was a neighbor and telling us that some named "so and so" lived on our street but they weren't sure what house. My dad was naive enough to say: "Well, i don't know any by that name but, that neighbor is out of town, that lady is a window and those people are gone too. Oh yea, and that house on the corner is mine". ...

If you can't tell that was crazy here's the rest. ... They said thankyou, got in their truck and pulled into the windows driveway. Knocked on the door one. Flashed their truck lights and proceeded to look about the place.

We called the police. ... by the way. Never saw the people again. And since there have been forced entries in our neighborhood me and my mom proceeded to yell at my dad.

sorry about the "Window" thing. ... My computer auto typed it. I meant "Widow".

huh. i live in a good-size city (no new york, but you know... a big city aside from that) in what i believe is a kind of marginal area (some believe it's not good) and i pretty much always open my door. husband home or not. there's only been one time i felt really uneasy about doing so (it was about 11 pm), but i'm glad i did - it was my across-the-street neighbor coming over to tell me about something he'd spied going on next door and to tell me he'd called the cops.

so... yeah. reckless, trusting, or sensible? you pick.

Ottawa's pretty safe (Ontario, Canada). I've always opened the door. That said, we live on a lively street, and know alot of our neighbours. Still, I should get a peephole installed, too. Chain? Maybe. Maybe not.

Chains are very easy to break, y'all. One good kick is all it takes.

Depends on the neighborhood, I guess. I've always lived in a house where I could see out the window to the front porch or gate, so it's never been an issue. But yes, I've always opened the door to strangers.

Neighborhood kids come to my house all the time to play with my dogs. :)

"It's really sad that there is trepidation to open your front door for a kid's voice these days."

"It's a sad sign of the times, but I would not."

Wow - What if the kid had been scared, hurt or in trouble and asking for help? How would you feel if you were in a strange neighborhood - say, if you were in a bad car accident or you were on foot and being followed by a scary-looking person - and nobody answered their door to help you???

You need to install a peep hole at your eye level! Also, I have one of those decorative-but-iron-frame screen doors with a deadbolt, so I can open the inner door, hold the collar of my slavering canine fiend from hell, and talk to whoever's there if I need or want to. I highly recommend them. They have screens for summer, glass for winter, and because I feel comfortable with the inner door open all night, I don't need air-conditioning in the summer.

Only because I've lived on my street for 10+ years and I mostly know who is a neighbor. Plus I make it a point to introduce myself to new neighbors after a bit. And I live in Boston in a neighborhood that people think is tough. My experience has been that at the end of the day the majority of us just want to be neighborly to some degree.

But I think it is acceptable to not open your door to someone you don't know, if you don't know what they want. Maybe they want sugar, or maybe they want your valuables - unless you can read minds, how would you know?

Highly recommend the doors, that is. Although I recommend slavering fiends as well for security, along with the love and devotion!

I live in an inner city, in an upmarket area in a secure building, but I'm not opening my front door unless I recognize the voice when I ask who is there. I don't have a view out my door, and no windows near the door, so I'm a lot less concerned about whether or not someone thinks I'm friendly than whether or not I'm opening the door to someone who wants to do me harm. And I keep a baseball bat within easy reach of my front door.

Heck yes, I'd open my door.

Around here, if someone wants to do harm they don't knock on your door frst. They sneak around back or through windows.

Robberies around here also happen during the day when everyone is at work.

I don't answer. Partially because I can't see out of my door - no peephole. But also because every time I have stupidly answered it's some survey-taker or salesman.

We used to have regular break-ins in my neighborhood, but they didn't bother to knock or wait for nightfall. They kicked down doors in broad daylight, came in and took what they pleased - until they broke into my neighbor's house across the way and found him standing there with his loaded shotgun. Anyway, the point is that the door's no great protection. It's why I have a monitored alarm system.

As a young woman living alone in a city, I do not answer my door if I'm not expecting someone.

Even though I live in a safe, well-traveled area, there have still been muggings and sexual assaults on my block, and even if that were not the case, a seemingly innocent visitor could actually be someone who wants to peek into your front door to see if you have a nice TV, if you own a large dog, if you live alone, etc.

I appreciate that some commenters are appalled at the idea of not answering the door if someone outside might need aid, but could I suggest that you instead talk to them through the door and tell them that you're calling 911 to get help? If it's someone who really needs help, they will stay. If it's someone shady, they'll beat it, and you'll be safer for it.

Since I have a 24 hour grocery store downstairs I wouldn't ask a neighbor for sugar; however for the sake of discussion...

I grew up in a house with an alarm system that was on even when we were home and had doors with multiple latches. We lived in a gated community in a small town, but my parents had lived in a large city before. Needless to say, they would not have answered the door. My husband's family on the other hand leaves their doors unlocked even when they are gone. They would have opened it any time of day or night. Personally, I would peek then probably open it.

I used to live in a small college town of about 30,000 people. I was working at a movie theatre as a manager and my boyfriend (now husband) had my car and cell phone. He neglected to pick me up at the previously arranged time so I started to walk home in the snow. I slipped and broke my ankle and knocked on at least 5 doors before someone would let me use the phone. A well dressed 22 year old girl in tears on the doorstep and people still didn't open the door, one person even answered and shut the door in my face. Like I said, this is a small, safe town, and I was walking through the "nicest" part of town as well.

While I always use caution opening the door, I always open it, even though I now live in a city where the metro area is more like two million.

oh, and @meirad, your story really made me laugh. Sounds exactly like the kind of thing my parents would do. Glad your situation worked out safely.

I also would open the door, but like a lot of people, I guess it depends on the neighbourhood and your own personality. I live in a safe neighbourhood in a small apartment building, and I have socialized with all of my building mates. I'm fairly community-minded and friendly, and I'm also a gardener, so I have more opportunities to talk to neighbours. I tend not to listen to news stories that sensationalise individual crimes and downplay the reality of dropping crime rates. Barricading yourself in your home is not the key to feeling safe; trusting your community is. Easier said than done, though.

Yep, I'd open it.

I wouldn't open the door. Well maybe now I would, though I'd seriously have to wonder why / how someone came down my 1/4 mile long driveway for sugar.

Anyway I used to live in a rapidly changing and relatively unsafe neighborhood. Being open and not skeptical of strangers is what got my husband brutally mugged in front of our home. It's rather unpleasant to wake up to your husband banging on the door covered in blood.

Before that, I thought nothing of just opening the door to a stranger knocking with a request. I never opened the door again while living in that home if I wasn't expecting a guest. It just wasn't worth it.

Call it irrational, reactive, or rude but I didn't want to see anyone in my family hurt again for simply being good natured and kind.

-M

I always open the door... I did even when I lived in New Delhi, India! I love getting to meet neighbors, or make it known that I'm not down with solicitors.
It makes my day when my neighbors come grab sugar, because it means I get to have a little of whatever they are making!

Wow, I think a lot of people would think I'm a bit of a fool (judging from the comments above) but I am fairly fearless (and happen to have an ugly "security" screen door, plus two dogs) and have never worried much about answering the door. I might also add that in the summer I never close anything except for the security screens as I have no AC and have even fallen asleep for an afternoon nap with both front and back doors wide open and have never worried about it or had any problems -I also live in a small apartment complex with good neighbors and am a bit off the street on a dead end. But really, I'm sharing all this here because I always tell people that what I believe is that "bad things" happen when you're afraid that they will.

If I were home alone, I would not open the door... if the hubby was home too then probably.

We once had a neighbour who had just moved in come borrow a can opener which he had yet to unpack and he was SOO grateful that he could now eat his soup, lol.

But if it had just been me, he would've had to go out for dinner!

I live a secure building in a not-great neighborhood, but all the neighbors know each other pretty well, so we often knock on each other's doors to borrow kitchen things and such. I think it's fairly unusual, though.

Not to get off-topic, but I just a play entitled "Gee's Bend" that's about the women behind the famous quilts. They live in an isolated, poor village, and the idea of a lock on the door is a recurring issue. There's a lot of talk of "keeping an open house," which is found really poignant and charming, although I could never do that myself.

sad to say, i wouldn't. but then i lived in the south side of chicago where violent crime & robberies were not (& sadly still not) unusual. true story--a fellow student was sitting at the window of his apt. typing a research paper on a weekday afternoon. a passerby simply broke the window w/ a lug iron & grabbed his laptop as he was writing. he was in such shock, he couldn't respond. & the prof. refused to give him an extension, saying this was a common occurrence.

I hate it when I open my door when when there's an unexpected ring of my bell and find it's the express delivery person and then I end up signing for a neighbor's package or even worse have to tell children I'm not interested in their Jesus story for one of the religious holidays and the children get into the building seeking donated to tell you about Christ.

Get a peep hole.

I live in a 'burb and have glass in my front door. If I look out and there is someone I don't know out there or am not expecting I just wave them away. If they were violent & broke the glass, well, I hope that never happens. So far, they just leave.

I don't feel I have to be polite to people I don't know who decide to come to my door; and I hang up on cold phone calls too. They can try to intrude, but I don't have to let them.

during the day (um, during the spring, summer and fall), if we are home, the front door is usually open, as my kids are playing outside and this helps me keep track of them. if someone came to my door, obviously, i would be there.

after dark, if i'm not expecting anyone, i don't answer the door. at least, not the front door. people who know me well enough to drop by will use the kitchen door!

i don't think it's sad. it's perfectly acceptable to not answer the door, just as it is to not answer the phone.

Gosh I am lucky, I know most of my neighbors, even the strange ones. Both next door neighbors are people I have borrowed from and have borrowed from me....makes for a good quality of life.

I live on a street without a single kid, so I wouldn't open my door to a child because they were clearly not from my area. I tend not to open the door for anyone - unless it's someone I know. Everyone else is either delivering something or soliciting.

my twenty year old self would have opened the door in my nightgown, invited him in, scooped the sugar out with my checkbook and offered him a hug on his way out -

my not twenty year old self who has lived in los angeles now for way too long - has learned that it's better to be safe than sorry. I follow my gut and if anything feels even the tiny bit off - I lie but in a super nice way.
for example:
me: sing songy through closed door "Who is it?"
strange neighbor who doesn't know better than to knock on a strangers door after dark - It's your strange neighbor who doesn't know better to knock on a strangers door after dark - I'd like to borrow a cup of sugar because I think it's 1953.
Me: Oh hahhha - well unfortunately, I'm all ready for bed and not presentable and even MORE unfortunate - we don't use sugar! Isn't that just awful? My husband who is also home is a Tae Kwon Do expert - has to keep his body fat below 1% soooo Soooo sorry!
strange neighbor who really needs to watch his sugar addiction: Oh that's okay! Thanks anyway, I'll just run to 7/11 like I should have done in the first place. (unless he's a psycho killer - then the reply would be the same but you would look out the next day and your door would have a bloody handprint on it)

If you become friends with the person down the road you can always laugh at the time you didn't open the door for them. And of course for Christmas you give them 30lbs of sugar.

Coincidence you posted this!! The other day someone came to my door right after I had been working in the yard. I stealthy tried to see who it was from a window but the man saw me so (regretfully now that i think about it) I answered the door. He told me he was from ADT (no uniform- he was just holding an ADT yard sign!) and that there had been a burglary down the street so he was offering me a free security inspection of my home! Like, he wanted me to let him in! I told him I wasn't interested and he left but I was nervous all night.
Later I found this site: http://www.crimereports.com/
Turns out there really WAS a burglary down the street so I feel like he might have been legit but I still thought the whole situation was shady. Glad I didnt let him in and glad that i found the sight now so I can see just what my new neighborhood is all about crime-wise.

I never, EVER open the door for anyone I don't know - and I refuse to live in any dwelling that doesn't have a peephole.

This is partly for safety reasons (even small towns can have serial killers) and partly because I think it's rude to bother people. My old neighbors had no concept of boundaries or personal space and wouldn't stop bothering me while I was working from home, so I stopped answering the door for anyone other than invited guests.

As a 32 year-old, single female, yes, I'd open the door for a neighbor who needed to borrow sugar.

That being said, even though I'm an introvert, I also have made an extreme effort to know every neighbor on my block so if I didn't recognize them they wouldn't be my neighbor. I feel that one of the best crime prevention measures in a neighborhood is to make an effort to know your neighbors.

You can't see out your front door? It seems like a terrible idea not to have a peephole. A chain isn't a bad idea either, if it helps you feel safe -- easy to pass through a cup of sugar, harder for them to get in.

I live in New York City but I would still never have a hard-and-fast "no opening the door after dark" (or when I'm alone, or unless I'm expecting someone, etc.) rule. If I look through the peephole and recognize a neighbor, no big deal.

You just hear about too many bad things happening these days when people open doors to strangers. I've lived in my home for 20 years, but there a lot of renters in the neighborhood, so it's constantly changing. We don't have a peephole, but we can usually see the person at the door from our window. We live in a suburb of a major city, but crime happens everywhere, and our house has been broken into and robbed before. Better safe than sorry.

I live in a medium shady area of the "worst city in the US" (depending on who you are asking) but it's 50/50 if I would open the door. On one hand, there are two neighbors I kind of avoid on purpose: they're always too nosey.
Plus we had someone try to kick the door in six monthsish ago - the scary part is we were home but we work at home so we think the person thought everyone was at work. We believe what saved us from disaster was our ferocious sounding cocker spaniel. Also, just last week my husband ordered pizza when he decided he couldn't handle broccoli soup for dinner and the delivery guy didn't even pretend he wasn't trying to get a good look at our living room: he even said "nice TV." You can take that two ways but either way but in our situation it's not something you want to hear from a young guy at 10:30pm.

I try to answer the door for kids, we have a little girl that lives in our condo block. I always pay attention when she's out front in our yard and I do actually watch her and the other few kids who get off the bus when the bus comes with phone in hand in case something happens to one of them. I am also the person who looks out the window if I hear gunshots with cellphone dialing 911 on speaker out of sight so I am not afraid of my neighborhood. I'm just aware it could be better.

Teenage boys are tricky though. To be honest I probably wouldn't and I know if my husband were home he would be grabbing a knife because if he is *really* paranoid.

Wow...I'm seeing now just how many people are terrified to actually speak to other people. The way I see it, if you're not comfortable enough to open your door at night in your neighborhood, you need to move. No ifs ands or buts about it.

@mcqueendom: Apparently where I live it IS 1953. I just borrowed milk from a neighbor two nights ago and last night repaid the favor by lending her some flour. Which reminds me, my poodle skirt and bobby socks need washing...

If you have this level of anxiety, perhaps you should install a peep hole. I think neighborly relations are evermore important and to be encouraged (especially in the next generation).

I always get nervous when there is a knock on the door. I used to be scared to open it for people, until a friend of mine came over and just walked in one day. My normally wonderful and loving dogs gave her the fright of her life, growling and barking. (they're both about 90lbs) I don't worry about people coming in uninvited at all.

I have a peephole in the door, and can turn on the porch light to see the person. It would depend on what the person looked like. If I were alone, I probably wouldn't open the door. I'd like to have a security door, but I think there's a minimum age for them.

My neighbor actually borrowed a cup of sugar this past year, but she called first and then came over. She's about 80 and I'd do anything for her.

no, i never answer the door to someone i don't know day or night unless it is ups or fedex (who just pulled up in a marked truck). i would probably not open the door to a neighbor either... afterall, i may recognize their face but i don't really KNOW them. i don't care if people think i'm paranoid. i value my life and it's always better to be safe than sorry. btw, i'm a 33 yo married woman but my husband is deployed. if he's home i get him to answer the door.

Nope, not opening the door unless I recognize the individual. I'm lucky enough to have a glass panel in the door but if I didn't and if I didn't know the voice I'd probably yell that it wasn't a good time and to come back later. On the flipside, unless a close friend lived in the neighborhood, I'd simply run to the store for sugar, eggs, or whatever.

I agree that's really sad we feel unsafe that way these days, but that's a reality we cannot afford denying, pretending it doesnt exist. I'd suggest you a peephole, but on my own experience in our new home in a still unknown town for us, just peeking though the peephole isnt enough. Mostly we need to interact eye-to-eye with people... So Im just writing cos Im in the same boat here. We havent find a solution yet, but a friend suggested a interphone system.

A man borrowing sugar...hmmm...home alone. No, I wouldn't answer the door. I better run next door now because I am out of sugar, but fear that my neighbor wouldn't answer her door after dark either. Kinda sad.

call it southern hospitality, call it recognition of another human being, call it what you will, I answer my door. I am guarded and aware of my surroundings and intuition, but I answer my door 98% of the time. I don't even live in the best of hoods but me and my neighbors have pride and a sense of community for our street and we try to respect one another.

No. I'm sorry to say this, but if you don't tell me ahead of time I am not opening the door. I'm not going to look into the peephole either, in case there is a gun pointing right at the hole (yeah, I know I watch too much tv). If you tell me this is a life or death matter, I'd help you to call 911 first, since I have zero medical training...

There have been a lot of comments, but I'll add something I think I didn't see...I saw one where someone said that criminals don't knock first. I used to sell security systems, and we had to learn about how crimes actually are committed. 1/2 of all home break-ins are during the day. Pretending to be a UPS person, plumber, or similar is common. One family I knew of was burglerized by a couple who came to the family's house every day for a few days and did landscaping. So, the neighbors got used to them and thought nothing of them - then they raided their house.

To the person who posted: I would get to know my neighbors in a neighborhood group or otherwise, and if they know you well enough to ask for something, then they should have your phone number to call you first. Don't feel bad - the person knocking on someone's door at night should think about how you will react, but then I guess women tend to think about being possible crime victims a lot more than men (that's been my experience, anyway). Sorry folks, we live in a country where guns outnumber people...it's not as safe as it used to be.

Woah, paranoia. I'm in my early 20s and live alone. Last time I opened the door for a stranger at night it was a neighbor who smelled the smoke from the disaster I had made in the kitchen. He was checking to make sure we were all right, and I live in a mediocre neighborhood in Chicago. I can't imagine where you people are that you're so afraid of your neighbors and people in general...

I live in a ranch style house with large windows, and generally just throw open a window and ask who's there when someone knocks at the door. My neighbors are used to it---and it scares the hell out of strangers.

I second what many have said: you need a peephole. I love to be hospitable, but I love my personal safety more.

I have a metal security screen outside my front door. We put it in so that we could open the door in the summertime and keep our toddler from wandering out on to the landing and tumbling down the stairs. It has a deadbolt, so it's pretty secure.

For that reason, I do feel safe opening my front door when I'm not expecting anyone in particular.

Ummm...sorry but no, I will not open the door for anyone even if your wife was having a baby but I'd call for help. I live in Chicago Gold Coast and STILL WILL NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR MY OWN MOTHER unless she told me that she was coming ahead of time. Sorry but this is the world that we live in, one can never be too careful. Plus, who ask for a cup of sugar in this day and age? there's a corner store everywhere that you go, even if you are in the suburbs you'll find a white hen pantry.

I agree it's a sad sign of the times that I don't know my neighbors very well and I've lived here 15 years. Studies have shown that our society is less violent than ever before. Also I am generally confident that I can defend myself, but alas I'm one of the aforementioned cold New Englanders so I consider a knock at the door an inconvenience, and most of the time it's a neighbor complaining about something silly or someone trying to convert me to a religion.

That said, I wish our communities were more open and maybe this should be a wake-up call.

L.A. ? / No way, not even if I see you through the peephole. I've already given to all the causes I support, I don't want any magazines even if it "sends you to camp" or whatnot, and unless I recognize you or your voice, nuh uh. And even so, if I'm in my jammies or cooking dinner and you were so rude not to call ahead, prolly not.

I only live in the FIFTH most dangerous city in the country, which is only occasionally the murder capital, and not in the last few years!

So I probably would go on a case by case--I do have a sort of prohibition-style peek-out opening so that helps me make a choice. I feel no compunction about NOT answering my door. It's my door, I didn't invite you! But I have opened it once or twice in these circumstances.

I don't think not opening most of the time means I hate or am scared of "most people," I'm not. (I work at an agency that aids homeless folks, drug addicts, and the mentally ill in a very dangerous neighborhood as a matter of fact, and don't shun interactions with our clients.)

But...it only takes ONE bad apple, eh? I don't have to be killed, robbed, or assaulted by a lot of people. Just the one'll do it.

And ck8g0's story about the ADT guy? You know, reading that, my first thought was: brilliant. Guy robs one house on the street, gets the goods, then grabs a lawn sign and uses his OWN crime to dupe other homeowners into getting into their houses!

All of us "paranoid" and "anxious" types, hey, maybe we have ALREADY saved our own lives.

What's so 1953 about borrowing a cup of sugar? Yeah it was a little weird that he was asking someone he didn't know, but still. My neighbors and I constantly borrow food from each other. Whether it's a staple I didn't know I was out of until in the middle of fixing dinner, or a speciality item someone doesn't want to buy a bottle of for one tsp. Our cupboards and fridges are totally open to each, our tables too! I love sharing meals with my friends and neighbors.

That said, if it was someone I didn't know, and wasn't in a delivery uniform, I may or may not have opened the door if I was alone after dark. There's a couple times when I haven't, and those were decisions made with my gut I guess.

Heh, I distinctly remember being a young teenager, watching my siblings at home, and being charged not to let anyone in the house. When the local fire dept came around to check our smoke alarms, I made them stand outside the window to listen as I pressed the test button myself. :) I think they were amused.

A woman home alone? Never answer your door unless you know who it is. Sad, but it's not June Cleaver's world. I just read this article about women handling strangers and it gave some good tips - http://www.pacificsun.com/story.php?story_id=4542

my corner neighbor is a bit "off". one evening my husband had left the house with some friends and the kids and i stayed behind. when the weather is nice out we tend to leave the windows open for a nice breeze, even after dark. we close them when we go to bed. anyway, not even ten minutes after hed left, someone knocked at the door. our porch light was out and i wasnt able to see who was at the door, so i asked "who is it" and all i got was grumbling and mumbling. again, i asked who is it as i was trying to keep my 4 year old from peaking out the window.. he did it anyway. after i again got a weird reply i called my next door neighbor and asked him to come outside and check out our house. everything was fine. needless to say, i closed all the windows and turned on all the lights, haha. i asked my son who it was outside, since he had looked out the window. he told me it was a man dressed like batman. :/ okkayy. yeah, i dont answer the door at any time of day or night if its someone im not sure of. besides, strangers coming to my door are few and far between.

Oh wow. I don't live in America, so reading these comments has been fascinating. They have given me a better insight into the realities of living in your country than anything I've read before. I had no idea that so many people lived in so much fear and that there was so little sense of community. I know that isn't the case for all of the commenters, but still. wow.

I think this is a rather naive post.
Very few places in the US can you just leave your door open or answer the door at any hour of the day.
I once left my door open many moons ago it was not a human issue but a dog came charging in my house and killed my cat right in front of me.

If someone was at my front door saying they were in trouble I would call 911 and tell then help is on its way. Many bad people use children and woman as decoys.

I'm a 9-1-1 dispatcher. I am aware that my line of work has made me privy to so many of the awful things that happens in the city where I live, thus giving me a skewed view of reality... but... probably not. Sorry, just... no.

OK, so I have a couple caveats. If I'm not fully dressed (i.e. lounging in pjs, or just got outta the shower) I will probably not answer the door unless you're UPS or it's an emergency. And if it's late at night or early in the morning, I will also probably pretend I'm not home unless it's an emergency, because it would just be rude to knock on someone's door after, say, 10pm.

That said, I am a firm believer that being on good terms with your neighbors is really important. One of my closest friends is a former neighbor, actually , who I met because she knocked on my door to ask my ex to help her get something up the stairs. Once we became friends, it was awesome knowing someone in the building who I could invite over for dinner spur or the moment, and we borrowed stuff from each other all the time (out of toilet paper? need an extra guest chair? step ladder?)

I've also, practically, had to knock on neighbors doors to discuss safety issues. When my last apartment got broken into, I knocked on my neighbors doors to let them know about it and explain the shady circumstances that pointed to the landlord's family. Before that, I hadn't talked to most of my neighbors in that building, but they were all really nice and said to just let them know if I ever needed anything. My across the hall neighbors even offered to watch my dog if I was going to be out for the day. People are a lot nicer than we give them credit for.

Now, obviously if you feel unsafe answering your door, you aren't under any obligation to, but I do think it's good to know who lives around you and be able to approach them if you need to.

@loviedovey - we're talking if a stranger comes to your door. not a neighbor that you know. i have lots of great neighbors that i lend things to ... no matter what time they stop by. But my spidey senses would perk up big time if some stranger came to my door for 'sugar'.

A peephole would cost you $12 at lowes and 1/2 hour of your time. It is small cost for piece of mind. ALWAYS trust your intincts when opening your door to a stranger. Never second guess intuition.

There are only six apartments in my building and I have only ever met any of the neighbors in passing. Been living here a year! Honestly, if you ring the buzzer and haven't told me you're coming around, I'm NOT going to answer the door, mainly because the bottom six floors of our building are a backpackers and you could just be someone who found the 'secret door', but also because I really really don't like being disturbed.

I guess I don't see what the difference it being night makes. I am far more suspicious of a stranger (who isn't in a USPS/UPS/FedEx uniform) at the door during the day, when people are generally at work, then at night when all my neighbors are actually home. We've had robberies in our neighborhood during the day, no doubt because that's what the thieves expect, too.

We are fortunate to have a security screen door with a deadbolt that we generally keep locked, so I can open the door and talk to people if I want. If I don't want, or don't like the looks of whoever it is, I don't answer the door. I don't care if they know I'm home or not; I'm not obligated to answer the door. And as the person above said, always trust your instincts.

We've had weirdos, scammers, Travelers, kids, Jehovah's Witnesses, far more often than neighbors, but I'd like to think if I were in a jam, my neighbors would open their door to me, and vice-versa.

This is such a hard question to ask so many people in so many different areas. I am from a very small country town and would open the door for anyone. The house I grew up in people would knock on the door at all hours of the night and usually the door was open and unlocked and we would often wake up to random people sleeping on the couch. Although when I was twenty I lived in Chicago all by myself and would never open the door for anyone ever as I walked in I locked it right behind me.

I live in a smallish city in Canada and would definitely open the door. Maybe it's a Canadian thing? Although I am sure many Canadians, especially those in larger centres, would disagree.

Unfortunately, if I didn't know the person, I definitely would not. [I am a woman and I live alone.] Fortunately, I *do* know my neighbors. Having a dog to walk makes it easier to know what's going on.

No, I wouldn't open the door and I live in a locked apartment building.
I have about 20 neighbors and, sadly, I don't know any of them except my landlord, mainly because the place has month-to-month leases and people move in and out frequently (and also because I work a LOT of hours and am hardly home).
That said, one night last year, around midnight, someone knocked on my door. I didn't answer because I was getting ready for bed. 2 minutes later they BANGED on my door but didn't say anything. Uh, no. THAT'S not gonna get me to open the door at midnight, buddy. They came back an hour later and did it again. It was probably a drunk friend of a neighbor, knocking on the wrong door, but it totally weirded me out that they wouldn't say anything after banging on the door.
Didn't think twice about not opening it.

i have lived in my house 4 years now and we have never once even locked the door, in fact i'm not even sure where the keys are. our door is always unlocked and is even often left wide open all day when it's warmer out. i personally could never live any other way.

I live in an outer borough of NYC - was in Manhattan for a decade previously - and am surprised at how often my front doorbell rings. Delivery men, meter reads, neighbors, and even door-to-door salesman (who knew?) I can see out the window, but often it still is not clear who it is. And you know what? In most instances I open the door - though I often leave the locked, glass storm door closed. I trust my street smarts and ability to read body language, and I'd much rather someone realizing I am home (despite being a woman who works at home by myself) than thinking the house is empty.

If I am not interested in what they are selling, I am quite forceful and make very direct eye contact. I do know my neighbors, and in general our little neighborhood is quite safe. When I lived in an UWS apt, though, I never buzzed anyone in - not even someone claiming to be a neighbor that I didn't actually know (and it turned out to be my actual neighbor - a subletter who'd locked herself out.)

I live in a nice neighborhood, know all of my neighbors and their kids and I live alone. Even so, no I would not. Its not that I don't feel safe, but it only takes one person to ruin your life or you know kill you. Better safe than sorry in most cases. Someone did come to my door once asking for help, I would not let them in, I gave them my phone, then called the neighbor across the street (police officer, she told me I could call her anytime) on my cell. Turns out this guy had been watching the neighborhood and knew everyone's movement, knew that I lived alone and whose spouses weren't home, ect. So no, I'm not opening my door, I'll call for help if you need it.

Wow, I do not lock my door when I leave the house (well my husband who is much more private is not very happy about this habit of mine) let alone opening the door. Of course I'd open.

no

I have neighbors who could ask to borrow a cup of sugar or whatever--one of the them asked to borrow a roasting pan on Thanksgiving. I can look out the window next to the door and see who is standing there. If I know the person, I'll open the door. If I don't, I will not. Furthermore, if the person doesn't go any pretty quickly (the dogs will stop barking if the person has left), I will call the police.

I may be more paranoid than most but I've been burglarized in my current home and in a previous home, someone tried to cut through the bathroom window using a glass cutter at about 10:00 on a Friday night. I was lying in bed reading and kept hearing barely perceptible sounds coming from the bathroom. I finally got up to see if the bathroom wall was crumbling (it sounded like tiny paint chips falling on the tile floor) and saw the shadow of a person outside the bathroom window. The police came really fast. I've never forgotten that. Women (and men, too, I think) need to take reasonable precautions and not opening the door to a stranger is a reasonable precaution, I think.

any = away. I typed that too quickly and didn't proofread.

Can we talk about how weird it is that a random stranger is asking you for sugar? If I were out of sugar for Kool-Aid I wouldn't think, "Hey, I live near other houses - maybe someone I don't know will have some!" I would think, "Oh shoot, gotta go to the Pathmark!"

I wouldn't open the door, and I would probably go make sure the alarm system is on. Then again I live in urban Philadelphia. But. No, even if I didn't (I haven't lived here all my life) I probably wouldn't open the door.

This is very interesting for me (single mid-twenties woman) because I've NEVER thought about the safety of opening my door to someone knocking. I just normally don't do it at night because it's annoying, unless I know someone's coming over. And I think it's because for my entire adult life, I've had large intimidating-looking indoor dogs. It's amazing when I think about it how dependent I am on them. I've never thought twice about going on a nighttime stroll with them around downtown LA either. I guess someone could take them down if they had a gun though, so it's probably time for me to start acting more carefully, for my dogs and my own sake.

Not so much about safe vs. unsafe, but a funny story nonetheless: a young girl (maybe 12 or 14) came to our door one afternoon a while back, which set off our dog. I waited for her to leave but she didn't, and the dog kept barking. So I finally decided open the door, thinking she could be in trouble and need some help.

The first thing she asks me? "Is your mom or dad home?"

Seeing as I'm old enough to be someone's mom, I was a taken aback and didn't really have a response for her. I ultimately told her no, they weren't home, which got me out of her magazine sales pitch.

My husband still gets a huge kick out of this.

I live in the "most dangerous city in america" as well..one one hand, I would be nervous about opening the door...on the other, I would hope someone would open the door for me if I was experiencing an emergency. I honestly be more likely to open it if it were a female. In other news, what about on Halloween? I open my door to every person who rings it.

When it comes to that, do any of the commenters think it's logical to assume most if not all would-be attackers/robbers would be deterred from targeting someone with a pair of "scary" dogs? By scary I mean traditionally intimidating breeds, Dobermans, Rottweilers, etc.

Definitely not. Unless I'm expecting a guest and know that that's the person at my door, it stays locked. This preserves my safety and my solitude.

i live in a courtyard apartment in LA with no gate. in the spring and summer i leave my door open almost all the time. windows open, curtains open, door open. until i go to bed at night. of course, unless its cold.

i borrow things from my neigbors, and they from me, all the time. why is everyone so scared?

I open my door for pretty much anyone [unless I'm not dressed], and have invited strangers [Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, door-to-door pollers, campaign workers, and random neighbors] into my home...and fed them snacks. Ah, the recklessness of youth.

…but I also think MP3 players create more of a safety risk than friendliness.

Um, maybe someone has said this already, but GO MEET YOUR NEIGHBORS. I saw some cards once in a book that were all ready to fill out, tear out, and distribute that simply said, "I am your neighbor. My name is ... I live at... My phone number is... Call me if I can help you." You could accomplish the same thing with index cards. This way, you already know your neighbors, they know you, and when that fellow needs more sugar for kool-aid, he can call first. And kool-aid IS an emergency sugar situation...

I live alone and if someone came after dark I probably would not answer unless it was a neighbor who I recognized.

In North Carolina, we're pretty laid back and we know all our neighbors but we also have 2 barkers in the house. In Maine, everyone leaves their doors unlocked and people you know tend to walk right in!

I live in a neighborhood where we all know each other within the two blocks any which way. Add to that that we have a window in the door, and that I can look out of my front windows to see anyone was at the door, I would open the door. That said, I have a cat who thinks he is a dog and he growls and gets pretty aggressive when he perceives danger (to a very cute and funny effect--he is our puppy cat). If he was going crazy and growling, I probably wouldn't, except if I clearly recognized the person at the door.

I'm from Philadelphia.

I would open it for a woman's voice. I would probably leave the chain on though.

I have absolutely NO interest in a "meet your neighbours" involving my name and phone number being handed out to everyone in the area. Seriously, what?

I'm 29 and apparently a rather scary looking guy, judging from both the police's typical reaction to me as well as others... (I'm not trouble though. Farthest from it.)

Until I got an AC unit, I would often sleep with my front (well, actually it's on the side and I'm on the second floor) door open. I live in respectable enough area that for the most part, I don't have to fear anything happening.

People aren't routinely out to get you. The honest and sad truth is that they don't care enough about you (as a stranger) to really notice much. And if you do know them, then you should know what you can and can't trust with someone. And honestly, crime isn't a rampant thing, despite all the news stories you might hear. Think about it this way: for every story you hear of burglary or forced entry, how many times do you think someone came home, and nothing was missing? or it was just a neighbor at the door? They're just not newsworthy occurences...

I find though, that if you feel afraid, or lack confidence and seem unsure, it's like carrying a sign saying "I'm weak and timid so take advantage of me!!!". That's when the not so nice people will target you.

And I agree that you should build up your relationships with your neighborhood if you want to feel safe. It also makes it less likely that anything's going to happen., because your neighbors will become your friends and your friends will look out for you. And it's good to treat people like humans. You get what you expect. Treat someone like a human being and they'll act more or less like a human being. Treat them like a threat, and they'll be a threat. (and yeah, it would be nice to say that other people should do the same and treat you nicely, but you can't control their actions. Only your own).

Not answering your door just seems silly.

These comments amaze me. Partly because I find most of the "no" people are far more naive and have this sense of false security than the yes people. Why?

People dress up in uniform to gain access to houses all the time.
If they want to get in, a screen door or glass isn't going to stop them; it certainly won't stop a bullet. If someone wants to get in bad enough, they'll get in.

Granted, you can buy yourself or deter some people who won't want to bring attention, but given that all your neighbors are going to ignore that sound and your cries for help and call 911 instead while they feel safe and snug in their own homes watching out their windows, I doubt you'll buy yourself that much time.

*shrugs* So, unless my spidey senses are tingling, I open the door. I also do other "insane" things like walk bad neighborhoods at night alone (and yes, I'm a single woman, too), talk to strangers, etc. -- with awareness of my surrroundings and such, but still-- than live paranoid and ultimately ashamed that I couldn't spare a bit of humanity for my neighbors. And if that gets me raped, maimed, tortured, and/or dead, well then, so be it, I figure it's worth it not to let the fear and the fearmongers win.

I live in Toronto and I always open my door. Every time I have, I've met a really nice neighbour.

I NEVER answer my door! If someone wants to come over, they can call first. I think "unannounced drop-ins" are TOTALLY rude.

I'll open the door, especially if it's a neighbor. I know my neighbors pretty well -- at least the ones that would be comfortable enough to come over and ask for a cup of sugar (or an egg, or vegetable oil, as has happened). If I am feeling uneasy or it's nearing midnight, then no, I won't.

I never open the door when I'm home alone unless I know who it is, I may talk to them thru the door but I would probably have just said, "sorry I don't have any".

I also don't have garage sales, I've heard from too many friends that have gotten robbed after a garage sale. A supposed garage sale customer was actually casing out the house (entrances, where you keep your dog, etc.) and what type of stuff you have

It is funny but I live 4 miles from the Mexican border (South of Bisbee AZ) smack in the middle of one of the areas the news media would have you think is dangerous. Would I open my door? Yes I would. My neighbors drop by after dark once in a while. I travel a great deal and when I go away my neighbors on both sides know where I hide a key. In 11 years I have never felt threatened or had anything stolen. I may live in the barrio but my neighbors and community are awesome.

1. Get a peephole ASAP. They are cheap and easy to install. Always stupid not to have one, in my opinion.

2. Wouldn't open door in any instance where I felt it was maybe not a good idea. That said, it is a good idea to be able to talk to someone through your door - so you can call 911 for them if they need police or ambulance, and so they can tell you your roof is on fire. If your door is so thick that you can't talk through it, get a strong security chain, or better yet, an iron gate over your door, so you can crack the door to talk when needed. But watch that with security chains, they are easily bustable once your door is open a crack by a thief - the bar - not chain - kind like you see in hotels is probably better, but needs to be installed into a secure frame with long screws to be of much use. I always feel better when I can talk through a securely locked door. That goes for apartment doors, too, not just doors to the outside.

3. Sure, fine, your neighbor wanted sugar. But if you didn't know him, you certainly took a risk. It could have been someone knocking to see if you were home and could rob your place if you weren't. And this could be true even if it was a neighbor - a sugar borrowing story could be cover since you were home. (Better to cover his tracks than leave abruptly with no explanation, or he might seem suspicious when you see him again. Thieves aren't dumb.) Or worse, someone looking to break in when you answered. Just because it wasn't doesn't mean you did the smart thing.

4. You should also be more cautious in a new neighborhood. Because you haven't figured it out yet. And because people do case people when they are moving in, out, or recently moved in, for burglary.

5. I would have told the voice I'm sorry, I don't have any sugar - whether or not I did have any. No harm - it wasn't like an emergency. Also, any teenage male in a city should be taught that women alone will reasonably see them as a threat in certain circumstances, given the realities of women's lives, so they need to understand and not be offended by that. If they haven't been taught that, not my problem.

Citydweller - been broken into - multiple times in one place - always when not home - so they obviously cased the place - and were very likely neighbors who lived on or close to my very densely populated block in a lousy area (who else could case our comings and goings, and would even know which apartment in the building we were lived in?) Also have been robbed when moving out. And attempted when moving into another place.

I'm a single female living in the city, and I always open my door when there's a knock.

- maybe its because I grew up in a small town and safe, well-established neighbourhood (where we regularly ask for a cup of sugar or an extra egg) ... but I think fearing a knock on the door only serves to perpetuate social problems.

My suggestion: Make an effort to get to know your neighbours, participate in the community, and actively make it a safe, supportive place to live.

Just reading some other comments -

- people committing crimes almost never do it in their own neighbourhoods; why would they want to live in "that" sort of community? - they're people, just like you and me.

- I guess, the moral of the story, is to use caution and go with gut instinct - but not live with fear. Most people - 99.9999999% of them - don't want to hurt you. You'll find that the world a lot friendlier than your think.

A neighbor down the hall started routinely knocking on my door asking to use the internet, borrow 5 bucks for laundry, etc. I consistently said no, which didn't dissuade him from asking. Since then, I've stopped answering my door unless I know the person.

I opened my door to a stranger just recently. I hate to say this, but he didn't look threatening and my dogs liked him. He was setting up musical equipment at the church two doors over from me (this is rural doors, not urban) and asked if I would call the person who was supposed to let him in the church. I let him make the call and then gave him a ride back to the church.

When I dislocated my shoulder two months ago, one of my dogs tried his damndest not to let the rescue squad guys in. He barked and bared his teeth all the way down the hall, to where I was lying in agony, but they weren't deterred by his 6.5 lb might -- thank goodness.

No way! In fact last summer my husband was on one of his surfing trips and I was home alone with my son. At 9:30 someone banged on the front door and thank God for our dog because he went crazy. We have a window pane door so sometimes that makes it worse...you can see me not opening the door. I refused to open and yelled out the window that my dog is an attack dog. Yes I went that far and he was only trying to sell wood, but seriously at 9:30 on a Friday night...it was sketchy! I sometimes don't even open my door during the day and tell people I don't know that my dog can't be trusted not to bite. Am I crazy? I don't care because I am alone a lot, I live close to the city, I have a young son and I don't have an alarm system. Thanks to Smaug my dog I feel safe. But truth be told he is the biggest baby in the world...heehee.

Growing up in Flint, you couldn't even leave your cans on the porch without them getting stolen. Opening your front door is really asking for trouble. Now I live in a (presumably) safe town and I open the door for anyone- and its usually a senile neighbor who's forgotten where the live. Probably more depressing then being robbed.

*than

It's amazing to me how risk-averse and scared we have become while society has only gotten safer. If you compare current crime rates to what they were a few decades ago, we're all significantly safer. Obviously some neighborhoods are safer than others, but it saddens me how much we have become programmed to mistrust strangers who in almost all cases are harmless. I understand why some wouldn't open the door, but I'll open it every time.

No, I would not answer the door of my condo unless I was expecting someone. If someone were to buzz me on the intercom, seeking entrance to the building, I would not buzz them in unless I knew them. Perhaps this sounds harsh, but we've seen a huge increase in "street crime" in my "upscale" Chicago neighborhood. Taking these kind of chances is just stupid, IMO.

sheesh, people.

for goodness sake: get to know your neighbors AND get a peephole.

interesting...my teenager would never walk to a neighbors house and ask for sugar.

Nope. I never open my door unless it's the UPS man knocking (and he yells "UPS!" so I know it's him).. otherwise I don't even look out the peephole. My friends and family don't just pop by so it'd never been anyone I'd find it necessary to open the door for.

I grew up not far down the street from a family who opened up the door for someone late at night and they were rampaged, tied up in their basement, and murdered. Including the child who was dropped off at the house the next morning by a friend after a sleep over.

Since then, I've heard WAY too many similar stories. No way am I opening my door.

By the way, I don't open my door because I don't care to talk to anyone (it's mostly solicitors knocking), not because I'm scared to..

Those of you who think others are paranoid for not opening doors have evidently not been attacked when answering your door. You should be grateful and not scolding others, especially those of us who are still dealing years later with the physical and mental damage caused by the attack.

I'd ordinarily open my door but a grown up male begging strangers for sugar to make kool-aid after dark? That's just weird.

Don't want to sound like Debbie Downer here but my dear friend was attacked,raped, and held hostage when answering her door in a well-to-do neighborhood of Atlanta in the middle of the day.

Late one night about 2 years ago, someone knocked on our "inner" door - that is, it's a door that only a person with an apartment in our building could reach. My boyfriend and I were both sound asleep, but they persistently banged on the door. We finally got up and asked what they wanted. It was a woman who said she was our upstairs neighbor and had accidentally locked herself out - she was in her pajamas. Well, we let her in. We offered her the phone, but she acted really odd. She asked if she could just crash on our sofa and find a way to get back into her apartment in the morning (not a chance in hell). Finally we offered to call a locksmith. She just sat there while I called and got one to come over to open her front door. Maybe she was on drugs or something...The locksmith did open her door. She never said thanks or apologized for waking us or anything.
Despite this bizarre incident, I would, of course, help anyone who asked. I would not want to let them into the apartment, but I'd certainly call anyone they wanted/911.
Sorry, but no way I'm opening the door to someone I don't know asking for sugar...

Yes, I would.
But I have two 100+pound dogs, loaded guns (one of which is always on hand), and an ADT panic button that's 4 feet from my door. Let them TRY to attack me in my own home.

But thankfully, I have a small window next to the door. Otherwise, I'd avoid the added risk and install a peep hole. If you rent, a landlord would have to be VERY unreasonable to deny a request to install one.

I won't upon the door without having my dogs there. Our vicious one gets left in the entryway while I step *outside* to speak to strangers with our friendly 150lb dog (who I lie and say bites) by my side.

Call me paranoid, but I refuse to ever be harmed in my own home.

I'm a 32 year old woman who has lived all over the US and also Europe. I think the right answer here is that you have to use your ow judgment and do what makes you feel safe. That being said, I've always found it easier to open my door to strangers in europe for one main reason: europens tend to liver closer together, in smaller homes. If I scream in my tiny English house, there are plenty of people to hear me. Living on top of one another can be a blessing. It makes it much easier to meet your neighbors, too, so you DO recognize the voice at the door.

Nope I would not open the door. I can't see out of my peephole. I live in a safe place but still you never know. I don't open my door unless I am expecting someone and know who it is. All my friends know to call or email me before coming. My neighbors know I won't answer the door so to contact me please call on the phone. This is how the BTK killer got into people's houses. Where they lived was safe too. You can't be too careful.

I have to say, I'm pretty surprised how many people have commented in support of opening the door.

Yes, in an ideal world, you should make an effort to know some of your neighbors. And if you recognize the person outside the door, feel free to answer it if you feel so inclined.

But if you don't know the person, regardless of whether it's someone in uniform, or a harmless-looking woman, or anyone else, talk to them through the door. If they say they're in trouble, call 911 *for* them. Period.

I'm not paranoid; I don't live in fear. Part of the reason for that is, I'm not stupid! For the most part, I don't do stupid things, so I don't have to live in fear. Yes, most people are nice, well-meaning, and everything else. But it only takes one, as some of the stories posted here demonstrate.

Here in Oz in the house I grew up in - my parents even answer the door to people selling us phone packages, my dad answers to neighbours in his pjs (underpants, not a great look).
When we lived in the US, admitedly in a safe area, Dr Heliotrope & I came home one evening to see a young man we didnt know on the porch. We were a bit worried, but approached, given we were in a divided house & it was light. When we got there, he asked if could borrow our iron! He lived next door, was going to a wedding & our house looked like it was lived in by the sort of people who ironed (o dear) - he returned it a few days later.
We tried harder not to stereotype after that.

Wow, so many replies to this post! I've never seen so much feedback on a recent topic.

First, who the heck still drinks Kool-Aid??? I'd rather gives my kids soda. Second, we have security storm doors, so we can open our front door without being fearful. We make sure the storm door is always locked and if the person looks dangerous we immediately tell them to leave and close the front door and lock that too. Easy as pie.

I live in a rural area and have few neighbors, but I know them even though it took some effort. I'd do almost anything for them and know they'd do the same for me because they already have. That said, if I'm home alone after dark, I'm not even going to acknowledge that knock on the door, much less open the door. (I'd know if it were any of my neighbors in a real emergency.) I've even discussed this with my neighbors and they whole-heartedly agreed!

get a peephole. my coworker mistakenly answered the door thinking it was a neighbor and it was a very scary guy (she was home alone and is tiny) pressuring her to buy something but kept trying to come in the house. his sales partner was in a van outside. she thought if i write a check will he go away. she wrote the check and then called the company. number not in service. she immediately cancelled the check and filed a police report. now the check is in collections and is affecting her credit score and everything. she has to do so much work to convince the collections agency and credit report companies that she is in the right. nightmare. that's why people aren't opening the door anymore unfortunately.

peepholes rule. get one!

All I can say is don't put yourself in jeopardy. Women are too often victimized because they don't want to be "rude". And HB not every criminal "looks dangerous".
The scariest thing I've experienced was someone trying to get into my apartment with a key. Turned out to be a drunken neighbor who lived one floor above me, but it freaked me out til I looked thru the peephole and saw her. I yelled thru the door that she was at the wrong door. She did it one other time. I am very claustrophobic and dreaded her breaking off her key in my door and my not being able to get out of my apartment!
Also, how many times do we see on the news that "this never happens in neighborhoods like this" and it just did?

Forgot to mention that some offenders start when they are in their teens, so just the fact that its a teenager at the door doesn't prove anything either.
One Halloween, as I looked out my window before I opened my door, there was a kid dressed in military fatigues and I think he had something that looked like an "uzi"". Do you think I opened my door???????
So, maybe I'm paranoid, but its kept me alive all these years!

No I would NOT answer the door at 11pm for a stranger. And I won't feel bad about it. To me this is just common sense. Not paranoia, just being vigilant. We don't live in a utopia. Bad things DO happen, and all it takes is ONE chance for someone to take advantage of.
If someone is truly in an emergency and needs help, I'll just call 911 for them.
Needing sugar, or any common household item at 11pm doesn't seem to be an emergency to me.

here is my perspective:
i grew up in the suburbs of a town that was listed in the top 10 safest cities in the U.S. for the past 20 years. growing up i personally knew almost everyone who lived on my street and throughout the neighborhood.

that being said... i still would choose not to open the door. if i can't see who it is or it's someone i don't recognize, sorry not gonna happen. i've seen one too many stories on the news about rapists, burglars, and murderers targeting the "safe" neighborhoods. because people are naiive and that's where they would least expect something like that to happen.

www.daniapple.com

Wow... this article and comments make me sad. I mean, I don't live in a big city right now, but I used to live in Tampa, which is decently sized and I would never hesitate to answer the door. Especially for a teenager asking for some sugar. How depressing.

Get a peephole if you're going to be like that. I'm a young, single female living alone in a big city. I'm careful but not paranoid.

When my father was in college, he often got home by hitchhiking. When he had us he often picked up hitchhikers. We never locked our door and the neighbours and their kids would often walk in and yell out, Hello. Even when I was in college ten years ago, my roommates and I often didn't lock our apartment door, but now, I wouldn't go out in the backyard without locking the front door, and if I'm not expecting anyone, I'm not letting anyone in. Fortunately we have a screen door (with glass, too), that locks so you can look out, but judging from the new practice of home invasion, I don't think you can be too careful, and I don't think that's paranoid, sadly. I agree that it is sad, but I would rather be safe than open my door to someone who is going to devastate my life or the lives of those I love.

Re: someone in trouble. It takes a second to call 911. I would do that for someone but let them in? No.

Are you kidding me? Of course I would! I was once that kid that was made by his mom to ask the neighbors for things like sugar. I would have done the same thing in New York and I would do it now here in North London. I do understand the hesitation, however. Peep holes, windows and door chains are a must these days, unfortunately. You do have to be safe, but you can't just not open the door for everyone with an unfamiliar voice.

You should of shot three bullets through the door then call the police and run up to your bathroom and lock yourself in. If you have children then leave them, you can't jeopardize your own safety for those moochers you've only known a couple of years.
Get to know your neighbors. Know them well. It will build the community you want to live in and not the community you are scared of living in.

Just get a peephole. I find it kind of crazy that you don't have a window you can look out of. I would probably have opened it, but I can see saying through the door that you don't feel comfortable. But seriously, you need to find a way to be able to answer the door.

I never open my door to anyone these days, but once when I first moved to Boston a neighbor told me his home phone was acting up and he was wondering if he could use mine for a min. Of course I was hesitant, but it was a little old man, and I am glad I did. He noticed my record player and said, "WOW, PEOPLE STILL USE THOSE? I remember in my day....."

I would have answered my door. But let's be mature here. We don't have to criticize each other's answers. If you wouldn't open the door, okay. If you would have, fine. Its up to you & how comfortable you are. I live on the South side of Chicago & this isn't the safest neighborhood but its still where I live. I'm the type of person who hates mising calls, because it might've been important or an emergency-same thing with the door. The very reason why some of us say we wouldn't open it is why I would. I don't know who it is or what they want but I have to find out. Don't get me wrong, I live in a secure building & on the 3rd floor. I use 3 different keys to get on the premises before I even get to my door. But for someone who doesn't I can see why you wouldn't answer your door in the middle of the night & there is nothing wrong with that.

Thank god I don't live in the US. Must suck living somewhere where you have to be afraid of something so basic. Of course. I also open the door to complete adult strangers. I don't think there is anyone I know who wouldn't open the door to a neighbours child!

I've always gotten to know my neighbors where ever I live so yes, usually the door is unlocked anyway. In the neighborhood I lived in before I married all the kids knew it was unlocked and would sometimes run through the house making a big loop between my and my neighbors backyards and the house across the street.

So get a peephole.

On the flip side - I can't imagine going to a stranger's door asking them for groceries late at night. What food item would be so important that you'd knock on an unknown door of someone "down the street" as was the case here?

It's late, it's dark and a teenage guy knocks on the door of a COMPLETE stranger and asks for sugar??? That is rather odd, no? Why couldn't he just drink a glass of water?

Completely different situation if it was a known neighbour but then that wasn't the question.

I am a 26 year old female in an apartment. I have a peephole, and I definitely wouldn't open the door after dark for someone I hadn't seen before. I might not open it before dark just because I would assume it was something I didn't want (like magazines). If someone needed help, I would assume that their knock, yelling would indicate that. I have opened the door to sketchy circumstances before, although not since I moved to this city four years ago. My fiance used to work nights and we lived in a not great neighborhood; once I opened the door at night and a guy told me a long story about how his house had burned down and he needed hotel money, and his wife and daughter were just around the corner (out of my view), and if I came out there I could see them. He probably just wanted to rob me or something, but I stopped opening the door unless it was someone I knew (we were in a duplex, but had a peephole then, too). I sort of can't imagine being without a peephole.

Correction: or, he wanted to creep me out so I would just give him the money without verification. That makes more sense. But it creeped me out too much for me to give him money.

ever seen a clockwork orange?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faML0QvVb2A

yes- i have a security screen.

but... i did live in a house that did not. woke to loud, urgent banging at about 1am. i went to the door, and could here a very distressed voise begging for me to open the door. it was bizarre. i opened the door (all the while thinking i hope i don't get killed!) and it was our next door neighbour who was about 80. her husband had literally gone crazy, had threatended to kill her and was roaming our street with an axe looking for her. we let her in and called her son and the police who both came to sort the situation out. it was the strangest experience i've ever had and very surreal. i opened the door because we lived in a very safe neighbourhood. but before i did i thought about it for what felt like eternity.

Wow, this thread is frightening - I live in Toronto and have never once considered not opening my door. I don't go to the door if I'm busy with the baby (nursing or changing him) but if I'm available I always do. After reading the replies I guess I'll think twice before opening my door, but that's sad.

Um, yes? And considering the paper-thin walls in my building, I'd like to think in the one in a million chances that a knock on the door is a robber/murderer who *knocks first*, someone would here me scream "What the eff, dude?"

Would also like to second the comments that if you suspect someone needs help, you should help them. The bystander effect is the assumption that if you can hear it, everyone else can too and someone else must be helping. Not very helpful when everyone thinks that, and does nothing. The world is not going to become a less scary place if we assume every bump in the night is someone who is out to get you. Live a little.

I am shocked at how many people here say they wouldn't! Maybe it's the fact that I'm in the midwest, but I don't think so. It's even weirder to me that people have never borrowed or given sugar to a neighbor, I mean that's even an old saying about he friendliness of your neighborhood. We definitely still buy cookies from neighbor kids, return my neighbors dogs to their houses, and even borrow a cup of sugar from time to time around here in Indiana.

I can't believe how "odd" people think borrowing something from a neighbor is! Or how little people know their neighbors. If no one is willing to open their door to a stranger, how do you even BEGIN to get acquainted with the people in your neighborhood? You wouldn't allow anyone to introduce themselves, pop by and say hello, ask a favor, anything. This isn't to say you should ALWAYS open your door (common sense should prevail), but to NEVER do so only perpetuates the insulation that inhibits community ties.

Nope. We live in a safe neighborhood (I'm told), but we don't have a safe way of checking who's at the door. And I often have nightmares of someone knocking on the door and I either open it or look out the window and get shot in the face. Makes me scared now to check.

@braisenwoman Its not odd to borrow sugar from a neighbor.....it is odd to do it so late at night. Actually its pretty rude. But speaking for myself, i'd still open my apartment door. I know everyone who lives in my building & next door. If I don't know a few of my neighbors then its because I never see them. We all come from different backgrounds & communities. What's weird & odd to some of us may be part of the norm to others

I'm amazed at the judgmental nature of some of these comments. The bottom line is: if you feel comfortable opening the door--open it; if you don't--then don't. It's a personal decision. It's not sad or bad either way. No one gets to make the rules for other people about stuff like this.

I live in a secure building so Im figuring it would have to be one of the other 10 tenants. So I'd look, recognize, and open. Unfortunately I rarely have a cup of sugar.

I didnt know people still drank kool-aid. :-)

All you folks who live in small towns and open your door to anyone would quickly change your tune if someone in your community were raped and/or murdered. Happened where I grew up. To think that it won't happen to you is naive and makes for a great quote to give the news reporters. I bet lots of victims thought that it could never happen to them.

And is it really that much of a tragedy to deprive a kid of sugar? It's sugar, for crying out loud! He doesn't NEED Kool-Aid.

Yeah, it's sad that this is how things are. But pretending otherwise is just not smart. We will open our doors to strangers because we want someone's kid to get their daily supply of sugar-water? Oy.

In my area...a large city, it's very common for people to 'case out' a home before they come back to rob it later, using all sorts of flimsy excuses to be there. Kids and teens too! And I live in a nice, residential, family oriented neighborhood considered pretty safe.

I've had a half dozen minor-medium problems happen in the 3-flat I live in, including homeless people breaking into the foyer to smoke or sleep; garage break-ins; Then found a mysteriously crude drilled hole in outer back door from someone presumably trying to see what was inside. There was a giant crowbar buried in the garden for them to use when they came back! Have the usual outer home safety measures. Thank goodness it hasn't been worse!

Luckily I feel safe in my actual unit which has super heavy doors, triple locks and a peephole. I also have a loud dog who would bite someone if they got in and I was freaking out.

So NO I would not answer the door, day or night to someone I don't know. Sad fact, I used to be trusting enough to not lock my apt door when I went out during the day.

People, people. While many Americans may live in safe neighborhoods, let's not be naive about our crime rates. Take a look at national crime statistics, which you can and should google. According to neighborhoodscout.com there is a 1 in 82 chance if you live in Chicago of being a crime victim, a 1 in 80 chance in Cleveland, and a 1 in 52 chance in Atlanta. I don't like these odds.

@ Victoria Denise: The author only specifies that the sun had set, not that it was particularly late at night. In Chicago presently sunset is around 7pm, which I don't find to be super late. I agree it would be inconsiderate to bother a neighbor you don't know well into the evening, but we don't know that was the case here. Not to quibble, just something to consider about this particular situation. I agree with you that there is a wide range of "normal", but it's interesting (and a bit sad) to see so many people vehemently against or unaware of friendly neighborhood traditions that used to be quite common.

I would open the door, but then I have two dogs, and the minute I say "ow!" or something, they go BONKERS. So... though one dog may not deter someone with harm on their minds, TWO big loud dogs probably would. Also, my front window faces the hallway to my townhouse- and I can usually see someone walking up the drive first.
I would open the door for a kid- there are literally hundreds of them around this complex. And most of them are here for our son. We do NOT borrow things around the neighborhood- from what we heard upon moving in, if you lend once, EVERYONE asks to borrow from you. Um, no.

As a female living alone in nyc- hell no, I aint' opening that door! My friends and family know to call first....

Remember she didn't know he was a neighbour until he told her, and he was not a little kid. TBH it could still have been a scam to case her house.

I open the door - if I'm not expecting someone I look through the peep hole. Thankfully I tend to not get solicitors. The only odd knock I had was a delivery food guy who had gotten the wrong apartment number. He asked to borrow my phone to call the number he had. I didn't want to hand over my new fancy phone so I called the number myself, and things all worked out okay.

Several years ago when I was in college I lived in a ranch-style house with friends. I was the first to move into the house and was home alone when an older teenage/college age boy knocked on the door. I foolishly answered the door, assuming it was a friend of my roommates or a neighbor, as I lived in a college town.

When I asked the teenager what/who he was looking for, he stared at me without answering, just looking at me with really intense eyes. That freaked me out so I closed and locked the door right away. The kid started banging on the door and yelling after that. I yelled that he had the wrong house, but he wouldn't go away.
He tried the door handle and continued to bang on the door, shaking it in the doorframe. I went to my bedroom and locked that door, and then called 911 while huddled in a corner.

It turned out he was an older kid who had left an assisted living/school for mentally handicapped kids that was around the corner from the new place I lived at. A police officer came and picked him up, coaxing him into the police car with promises of watching movies back at the care facility. Talk about a lesson on why not to open doors to strangers! Despite this I still cautiously open doors.

To all those who readily open their doors to strangers, let me remind you of Suzanne and Half Zantop, the two Dartmouth professors who opened their door to the two teenagers who murdered them.

http://topics.nytimes.com/topics/reference/timestopics/people/z/half_zantop/
index.html

it's funny to read the assumptions, btw, about how easy it is to run to the store. several years ago i lived in downtown kansas city (a few stores have opened since), but i would have to drive 10-15 minutes to get to a store to buy sugar if i was in the middle of something. i definitely had a few neighbors in my building i'd ask about borrowing an ingredient before having to go get in my car (or take a bus for a half hour) to pick something up.

I am a single woman, who lives alone on a public street, which has a bus stop, with non-neighbors walking by all the time. There's something about having your driveway come out on a city road that makes people think they can constantly come up to your house.

I NEVER open the door unless I am expecting someone. In fact I keep the front gate closed, and although it's not locked, it somewhat deters people.

I live in the city one block down from the supermarket and next door to a gas station and a bus stop with a hardware store down the other end of the street. The chances are very slim that I would open it (but with the supermarket so close, this probably wouldn't happen).

They would call my neighborhood "transitional" as well - since three of the houses on my block were owned by drug dealers 5-10 years ago. None of that stuff happens in the houses now, but that's still on my mind when there is someone I don't know on my doorstep. On that note (being that I am on probably the busiest street in the neighborhood of the 'inner city'), I have only called the police twice because I was worried. Once was from someone I didn't know coming through my back yard to the back door.

And if anyone really knows me - including my neighbors, they would come to the back door (which is why typically this is the one I'll answer, it's also the one with a window).

In any case, at my parents house, I would always answer, and in the 42 years that my grandparents lived in their house and the 70+ years my great-grandparents lived in theirs (a few blocks away), their houses were never locked. My roommate's dad's house has not been locked in 50+ years. I think mostly it depends on where you live and who you trust in your area to help watch for something fishy.

@uphereintheclouds, @Wildsong, and @emmelemm, Agreed.

@dezine, Agreed.

@braisenwoman it is a little sad to think that there are this many readers saying they wouldnt open their door if they aren't expected anyone. I understand feeling that way, i just couldn't imagine being at home & ignoring my doorbell or someone knocking. Now that I really think about it, this is kind of mind boggling. No offense to the readers out there pointing out the people who have been killed from answering their doors, but I kind of feel like if someone really wanted to kill you & couldn't reach you via front door, they'd break in & kill you. Sorry guys....

I don't open the door unless I'm expecting someone. My friends will even call my cell phone when they pull into my driveway if they are just stopping by. There isn't a doorbell on our house so if someone knocks and I'm not downstairs I probably wont hear.

I would, without hesitation. But then, I live in rural Wales, UK, with the worst crimes being committed around here being "anti-social behaviour") i.e loud music or dogs barking.

this is a very easy question for me; my response would be "sorry, i don't keep sugar in the house" which is true.

Everyone is so freakin' paranoid. We are all shut-ins who go out in the day to work, but lock ourselves up at night.

Very few people have had anything remotely considered dangerous or life threatening happen to them and yet you act like this. It is called paranoia.

I always open the door. It's not that I don't think about crime, though. It does occur to me. So, I make my BIG, intimidating dog stand next to me when I open the door. ;) If I don't know the person, I never invite them inside.

i would open it if i had to dogs :D

i mean "two" xD

I always open the door despite living in a shady area. I have a loud growly great dane though.

This post reminds me of a book I read by Dan Gardner, called "Risk: The Science and Politics of Fear."

Statistically, we are safer today than we've ever been, but because of the way fear is driven, by politicians, media, activists, etc., our psychology has changed such that we fear our own shadow.

Sad.

http://www.amazon.ca/Risk-Science-Politics-Dan-Gardner/dp/0771032994

When we first moved into our house, someone told me a house down the street had a kid my son's age. So we just went down the street knocking at every door until we found them. Every door was opened, and when we found the right one, she invited us right in for tea and a playdate. Which is exactly the outcome I expected, honestly. Love my city!

I'm in Lunenburg, Nova Scotia. If someone came rapping on my door and needed sugar, I'd gladly give it to them.

Surprised at how many people assume that those of us who wouldn't open our doors do so out of a state of fear or lack of community feeling. I personally know all of my neighbors, their children, and their dogs - my neighborhood is almost all young couples w/ little kids & dogs. They would call through the door and let me know who was there if any of them came to my door at night.

Not opening the door at night to someone you don't know is just common sense to some of us - like looking both ways before crossing the street. I'm not afraid of crossing the street, but I'm not going to step out without checking for traffic, either.

I've always at least had a window to peek out of if nothing else and if it's not someone I know I just nicely say "Can I ask what you want" if they don't tell me then I don't answer the door. Any time I HAVE opened the door for someone I don't know I have my cell phone in hand with my mom or a friend on speakerphone so they can call police if needed. If it's just a new neighbor coming over to say hi I usually invited them in, but sometimes until I know them better I step outside to talk. When you are a single woman you have to be careful.

Guau... And I thought I was quite paranoid, living in Mexico City and all that. Certainly, with all due precautions, I would have opened just after asking who was and what do they want...

I've lived in rural U.S., suburban U.S., urban U.S. and now Paris and whether or not I open the door really depends. It's kind of like most things in life: there are few black & white absolutes.

Here in Paris, our windows look down on the street and I can sort of see who's ringing our buzzer. However, if they're knocking on our apartment door (inside the building) I can't b/c we don't have a peephole. However, there is a vacation rental downstairs and various vacationers have knocked on our door at various times (most recently a very, very large Russian man who didn't speak English or French - the power had gone out and he couldn't figure out where the breaker was. I called a Russian friend for translation help while my husband tried to help them figure out the problem).

Because we made a concerted point of getting to know at least some of our neighbors (and the staff of the bar downstairs, and the staff at the butchershop on the corner, and the owner of the épicerie down the street), whether or not to open the door is an easier decision. And, since grocery stores here close on the early side (and almost nothing is open on Sunday afternoons), I wouldn't be shocked if a neighbor knocked to ask for sugar or milk or whatever. Just like my neighbors in SF did. And in Seattle. And of course, rural U.S. Although, oddly, never suburban U.S. What is it with the suburbs?!

Actually, our next door neighbor asked to borrow a couple of chairs for a dinner party recently. And a few months ago, the couple upstairs came knocking when water was out in the building (I ran down to the bar to ask the manager who sorted out the problem)

I should add that I have lived in a city with a serial rapist. I've been a single female living alone in a large city. I've lived in not so great neighborhoods. My family was robbed when I was a little girl. And my French is still developing, so it can take a lot of work to help someone.

I just refuse to be a prisoner of fear, isolated from those around me. There are tons of stories of people who did everything right only to end up robbed, hurt or worse.

So, I still will open the door - most of the time. Just not for anyone selling anything!

Gosh, I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to make friends with my neighbors if none of them will open their door for an unknown face.

Nope, if I don't recognize you through the peep-hole, I'm not answering the door. Funny how some are quick to say "That's just so sad" when people make the decision to not open their door - why should I open the door whenever anyone knocks? It's my home, my time, my space; unless I invite you in, you shouldn't expect permission to invade it. That said, I did make an concerted effort to meet my neighbors when we moved into our neighborhood about 10 years ago, just walking around the area on a Saturday when most folks were working in their yards and introducing myself and my husband. Worked like a charm.

..What is the name of the family that was in the news recently... The wife and daughter were murdered in their own home and the husband survived by crawling out of the basement... didn't they answer the door to a stranger?

Seriously, answering the door to someone that you don't know is dumb, if they need help, offer to call 911 for them.

Don't do this.

Hmm the problem with not answering the door and pretending to be not at home is they might force their way in thinking there's nobody home.

Once they are inside and found you, you're more likely to be hurt. There's no good way to deal with this.

Well, having lived in the midwest my whole life- heck freaking yes I'd open the door. I've never experienced a reason not to, and I've certainly asked a neighbor for sugar before.

But that's just me.

I made a point of getting to know my neighbours and I would definitely open the door for them after seeing them through my peephole. (Just for reference, I'm not in the US)

Years ago all buzzers were removed from apartment buildings because burglars would get buzzed in, make you run down to answer and then burglarize your and others' apartments.

My apartment opens out to two indoor patios -hard to access from the outside- and I have no bars or locks on those windows and doors. So no, I'm not paranoid. I would still not open my door to a stranger because I find it incredibly rude and annoying to bother someone in the comfort of their home. I would obviously call 911 if they were in trouble and, depending on the circumstances, probably open the door. After all, it would probably be a neighbour from inside my own building.

Are you kidding? Open the door after dark in Los Angeles? No way. Not even for the kid asking for sugar. That's what 7-11 is for...and kids dont need sugar that close to bedtime anyway!

"Police in Perth (Australia) have charged four children aged from 11 to 14 with sex offences. Police say investigations by the Sex Assault Squad have revealed the boys are responsible for numerous sex attacks on another three women aged aged from 42 to 67 and two 16 year-old girls."

This is in the headlines today...... times are changing......

Still want to open the door to that teenager claiming to just want a cup of sugar? It's not "sad" to want to protect yourself and your family. It is sad and terrifying that these crimes are being committed at such a young age. Incomprehensible.

Maybe it's because my husband is in law enforcement, so he KNOWS what can and does happen, and how even the "nicest", "safest" neighborhoods are not as safe as they seem (people with bad intentions often go to nicer neighborhoods to commit crimes because people tend to have their guard down, and the loot is more valuable).

Opening a door for a stranger is not smart. That's often how home invasion robberies happen. Someone knocks on the door (if someone asks who it is/what they want first, they'll often make an "innocent" sounding request, or say it's an emergency) and then as soon as you open your door, they storm in (sometimes violently -- like punching the occupant in the face).

My husband and I live in a well-to-do, safe neighborhood. But I won't answer the door (or even make my presence behind the door known, while looking through the peephole). If someone has a legitimate reason to be at our house, they know to call in advance. Or announce themselves at our door.

My neighbors have my cellphone number. That's how tight we are. Or they know my name and will announce themselves if they are knocking.

It is not paranoia. Not everyone lives in safe rural areas, or Canada :) Also, almost every Sat and Sunday Jehovah witnesses et all come by (again, house on public street) and I just find it less rude to not answer than to open the door, declare that IAmAnAtheistWhoHasNoInterestInGodOrTheirReligionSoCiaoHaveAGreatDay.

Never, whether daylight or otherwise! Unless it was one of my neighbors, whom I know...and like. I live alone without a dog; the thought of opening the door to a stranger is quite frightening.

For the most part I only open the door if I am expecting someone. I have a dog who alerts me to all human and animal traffic in the yard. My door didnt have a peep hole originally it got one (easy DIY) about 4 months later after some random knocks and very suspicious people. I still use the peep hole when people knock just in case it is a neighbor.

Its sad to say but I do not trust anyone who knocks on my door if I didnt invite them first.

Are you kidding? Open the door after dark in Los Angeles? No way. Not even for the kid asking for sugar. That's what 7-11 is for...and kids dont need sugar that close to bedtime anyway!
Good point! Most teens in my acquaintance od on sugar anyway sodas energy drinks snack...do 'em a favor and keep your door closed!
Seriously, I usually do not open the door. Not so much fear of crime although that is a reality, but fear of Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormans, guys wanting to trim your trees, kids wanting to sell magazines for "college" these always struck me as bogus, and so on. The only exception I make is for the Girl Scout wanting to hook me up with my fix of Thin Mints. Everyone else needs to call ahead.