
Living in a three bedroom house is like living in a giant Christmas present with a big, red bow — everyone wants to come stay with you! We're always more than happy to accommodate people. We enjoy entertaining, and it gives us a great sense of satisfaction when we can ship that person off the next day knowing we provided them with a fun and comfortable place to stay! When family comes, we start to feel a bit more nervous.
My brother is coming to stay for the holiday weekend &mdash he's never been here before. None of my family has been to my home of two years and I'm frankly a little nervous. I feel an enormous amount of pressure to make sure that every single nook and cranny has been scrubbed and cleaned. Last night, I scrubbed the bathroom floor with Soft Scrub and a toothbrush (thanks to 4 Cleaners, 1 Success Story: Getting Tile Grout Clean).
I'm not sure if this is entirely because I really want the house to be spotless, or if it's anxiety about the fact that the first family member of mine is coming to my home that I've spent the last two years creating and making my own &mdash what will they think? Immediately after saying that out loud, I can't help but think I'm just crazy!
I want to view this trip and weekend as an amazingly wonderful opportunity, instead of wanting to rip my hair out because I know ahead of time I'm not going to get the place nearly as clean as I'd want. I'm trying to be more Breaking Bread then The Man Comes Around.
How do you handle the stress of when the family comes around?
(Image: How To: Make Guests Feel Welcome)

White Enamel Flatwa...
We invite people over once in a while so that the whole house gets cleaned. Think of it as a good reason to do these things you normally would postpone. And be extra proud when they ohh and ahh about your house;)
Relax, you're certainly not crazy.
I think nearly everyone in your position would be doing somewhat the same thing.
The way I handle the stress of visitors is to do a good cleaning, though I have to say my house is usually pretty clean, it can always use something extra. Little things like cleaning the windows if they're dirty makes a huge difference. Everything sparkles. Other than that, just making sure the spare room is tidy and stocked with things guests might need (water, magazines or books, beach towels, and the occasional pair of extra flip flops for one crazy and forgetful friend...)
I also will go get flowers and put them in every room. It will make YOU feel your house is warm, welcoming and special and you'll be more relaxed with minimal fuss.
I'd relax a bit. This is your home, you cultivated it over two years and it's all yours. If someone else doesn't get it or doesn't feel comfortable in it (highly unlikely) then they don't have to come back!
Don't sweat the small stuff...it's all small stuff.
Somehow family seems to just be hardwired to sometimes cause each other stress!
I try to have the house fairly clean and inviting,clean sheets on their bed, flowers in their room etc. I try to have at least half of the food prepared ahead. That lets me relax alot more and enjoy the visit.
AND with all of that advise I need to go put some into practice as my brother and sister in law arrive this afternoon for the holiday week end.
Hope you have a great visit!
ps. I have my husband grill out....Helps alot
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I like to keep a basket of travel-sized items for guests-- shampoos, lotions, toothbrushes, maybe a little chocolate-- so it feels a bit like a hotel. Then, I kick my feet up and let everyone make themselves comfortable!
I can't stand it when our family comes over. I feel like I can HEAR the golden retriever hairballs hitting the ground as my 90lb baby walks by... I follow him around with the vacuum attachment cleaning up his residue. My father-in-law is the type of person that sweeps his entire house 3-5 times a day. If he comes over and thinks our lawn needs to be mowed, he goes for it himself (he's nearing 70). It's weird, and frankly, very hard to deal with, even though he's a sweetheart and means well for the most part. In any case, I drive myself just as "crazy" attempting to prepare for ANY LITTLE VISIT.
When I married my husband, they lived two hours away, but wanted to be closer to us after they retired... Good times!!!
Oh yeah - I also have my husband grill for guests in the warmer months. Makes things a LOT easier.
Try to keep in mind how you feel when you are a guest in someone's home. I'm sure you don't inspect every nook and cranny for cleanliness...or even mind if there is a little clutter here and there. I don't mind a little dirt or clutter in other's homes, and I think most people feel that way, too. You are spending time together, and that is what is really important.
Luckly, i have a pretty nice big deck. I just put all of them outside and let my husband grill food for them.
I do the same thing, but then I have a policy - Family are guests and I wait on them for 24 hours, after that, they get to help me cook, do dishes, etc. It gets us all doing things together and takes that extreme cleaning/cooking/serving pressure off after all of that intense preparation :)
Oh, I like vonlet24's method of hospitality! :-)
When my mom comes and visits-I make sure the house is clean and the fridge is stocked with her favorite things (luckily I don't have to worry about cooking much, she enjoys cooking for us!). I make sure the linen is washed and that there are plenty of towels too.
You're not crazy. I'd clean my house for my visiting relatives, too, if I was on speaking terms with any of them. :)
Let this visit be your test. After your brother leaves, ask yourself if all the stress was worth it. If not, maybe you should re-purpose the guest room and let everyone know that your home is no longer a free hotel.
OTOH, if you have a great time (more likely), try to remind yourself next time to RELAX before your guests show up. As long as the place is reasonably uncluttered and guests have clean linens, you're doing great.
I agree with vonlet24 also. I start out with a very clean house, a full day of fussing over them, and then the next morning I teasingly announce that they've lost their "guest status" and that when they help themselves to a glass of wine, they bring me one, too!
It actually makes your family/guests more comfortable to pick up a dish towel or help set the table so everyone can relax and enjoy the visit.
In the four years that I have been married I have had over six months of company staying at our house. Yes I clean before people come over and yes the linens are clean, but I do not go crazy. When we were first married I would go ape crazy everything had to be spotless and perfect but as time went on I realize that people were more comfortable when things weren't perfect. When I relaxed and asked for help in the kitchen or putting clean towels in the closet it seemed like people started to feel at home. It was became less about entertaining, perfection, and formality and more about family, friends, relaxation and a good time together. So clean and feel good about your place but also remember to have fun and that perfection doesn't mean a great time together.
Kristen, you're not alone. My mother-in-law always comments on how "dirty" my house is, no matter how many hours I spend scrubbing. What this has taught me is that the people who really care about me don't care if it's a little rough around the edges. So, I no longer worry about the house being clean before mt other-in-law arrives. She's only going to say something anyway.
I should have spelled-checked...yikes.
Having just visited my widowed father and my bachelor brother for the first time in several years, I now have a "no visitations" policy! (I'm not going back to see them unless/until somebody gets seriously ill.) They live happily without me, I live happily without them, and we might as well be on totally different planets when it comes to common interests, etc. (Not dysfunctional, just totally independent of each other. Not all families are cozy, even though we do care about each other in a remote sort of way.)
I have cats and a rabbit, my brother has a huge rottweiler dog... which slobbers, destroys furniture, and causes general mayhem. And eats rabbits! Not welcome at my home. Brother wouldn't be likely to travel without him. Dad won't fly and is now too old to drive more than a thousand miles to get here.
However, IF they were to appear, I would treat them just the same as any guest/s. I clean house maybe a BIT more than usual, I make sure the towels and bedding are ready for them (unlike what was done for me, by the way!) including having amenities in the guest bathroom like shampoo, disposible razors, aspirin, Tums, etc. I try to have on hand snacks and breakfast items they would like even if the items aren't on my diet or normally in the house. Since my partner and I almost always eat out, guests are welcome to join us. I sometimes cook for company, but not often, what with my annoying work schedule.
After that, basically they are treated as one of the members of my household -- especially if they stay more than a day or two. (We might take guests to tourist attractions if they want to go, but mostly so far, the people who have stayed with us were using our guest room as a temporary base while apartment hunting in town or something, so they didn't really need that level of companionship or attention.)
I don't see any point in getting stressed about company. They are getting a free, comfortable, quiet place to sleep, usually at least some of their meals, and some of our extremely limited therefore valuable free time. That's nothing to sneeze at, and nothing to worry much about. (You don't get rated on it, after all!) Relax and have some fun!
Completely unrelated... do you think it is a chalkboard? or the wall painted with trim around it? I just love love love it.
I find that the best conversations happen while I'm sharing work with someone, rather than sharing free time (this discovery happened long ago when I realized that neighborhood clean-up day was way more fun than the potluck dinner that followed). I regularly put guests to work drying dishes, folding sheets, and making salads as a way to get the talk flowing.
i just make sure there are no really gross things that need cleaning, clean a little extra, and then set them up to be independent with walking maps and loads of fun ideas for places to go. i live in a very small space and in a very walkable area, so this works well.
fortunately most of my guests think my house is cleaner than theirs, so it's not a super big deal.
Where is the reading lamp from... LOVE it!
PrettyKitty - My mother-in-law (and father-in-law) can be like that. They rarely say it out loud but look around in scorn if every nook and cranny hasn't been scrubbed with a toothbrush. I normally just clean like I normally would and just deal as well. It greatly helped during a family emergency where I got to see her apartment in mid week when nothing was put away and was cluttered. I haven't felt bad since.
Im with spcnyc - where is the reading lamp from? Although I live in Australia, I have always wanted to know where you can get those lamps.
interesting, breakfast menu for guests....
Love the setup in the picture... always looking for inspiration for my tiny bedroom :)
http://www.notyourgoddess.blogspot.com/
I love to have guests as long as I feel ready for them, so I clean and tidy a lot beforehand and make sure all the beds/towels etc are clean and ready for them. My MIL is the one I want the place to be nicest for (she spent a lot of time suggesting we got a cleaner in our prev place - we did in the end but it made me very aware!). Frustratingly she is also the person who brings a million things with her and covers every clear surface with clutter as she arrives, although mostly they are presents for us - food, veggies, flowers etc so I can't really complain!
Sadly, I seem to have given her a complex about her own place (which is full of clutter) as she now feels she has to apologise everytime we go over there for the mess (I don't want her to feel bad about her own house), and she has also banned me from moving anything as she can never find it again :-)
I love the blackboard concept! I just hope the pillows don't get too dusty with chalk powder.:)