I can't imagine a grandmother saying that their grandchild.

It certainly depends on how much space you have. I would love to have a friend stay a while if I had a comfortable guest room, and even long term if I had a spare bathroom!

I think amongst the closest of friends and family, a week is ideal. We visited the boyfriend's aunt and uncle in Portland for five days, and the deprture was sweet. I think it's nice to feel as though when the guest leaves you will miss them. We know they would love to have us back and we had a very lovely time.

Had a friend stay on the couch, and I was so happy to have the house to myself again when she was on her way!

As I approach my 30's, I feel more and more awkward crashing with a friend, especially as we begin coupling up. Two single girlfriends hanging out can go on almost indefinitely as long as they're very good friends... but crashing on a couple is a different story. I know my out-of-state girlfriends hesitate to visit me because I'm now part of a couple -- and they hardly know my fiance at all. If they had a fiance I barely knew, I would feel less inclined to visit, too.

But I also am someone who would prefer to stay in a hotel than at somebody's house, unless that person is my BFF!

I feel like if you allow someone to stay for a month, you have to start thinking of them as a short-term roommate (and resident of the apartment) or you'll go nuts.

I know this - it's an old one!

When is a guest no longer guest?
When it's a jar! DUH!

I definitely know where you are coming from. When I lived in a studio and 1 bedroom apartment having guest or temporary "roommates" always got to the point where I felt imposed upon. However living in a house with a guestroom and extra bathroom makes it to where certain friends or family members could stay for extended periods and it wouldn't bother me in the least. I think it becomes an issue of sharing space.

My husband's grandma had to stay with us for a few months because her apartment molded over during the summer when she was out of state. It was great (both for her and us) when she moved back into her renovated apartment right before Christmas, but it still feels weird without her around. Definitely no longer a guest.

I really relate to this post. I lived alone for many years and had my apartment just the way I wanted it, with my own little quirks and rituals. My friends would often crash for the night and it was no big deal. A week would have been a big deal! My husband and I have been living together for 4 years now, and despite the fact that i love him to pieces, I secretly love when he leaves too! shhhh.. don't tell anyone.

Oh awallnut, I feel the same way! I love my S, but also love my me-time when he's away, and I dread, really dread, the impending mess that will invariably be created once he arrives with his thousands of wires, plugs, nuts, bolts, and various other electronic parts i know not the names of!

Awallnut, I know what you mean. I am a person who needs of a lot of "me" time and I am rather introvert, so a week long visit would probably have me checked in into a mental institution.

We are solitary creatures, we don't run in packs. I love being alone in my own home - but I do share it with my husband and 5 year old. We all have our quirks and on some level I hope that house guests take note of how one particular household is run compared to another.
My best friend is very fastidious and when I stay with her I try to make sure I keep up with her style of home keeping. She once threw a NYE party that went well into the night and at 2a insisted on cleaning the entire house, including mopping the floor! I asked her why it just couldn't wait til morning and she said she just didn't want to wake up to a mess. I personally value my sleep more than a clean floor at 2a - but ... to each her own.

Wow, you're Grandma was mean! Who says that?

My grandfather would say something similar, but usually after a large family gathering. "Goodbye, please." I find myself feeling the same way whenever I have a guest over longer than a night. I love the people in my life, but there's something to be said about the peace and quiet that comes after hours of laughs and fun. Happy to see someone else with a similar experience! :)

I am trying to teach my husband this so he can pass it on to his family and friends. Apparently in Texas, two weeks is the standard time to visit. Drives. Me. Crazy.

eh I don't have kids yet, but i'm certain that when i have them my mom will say something similiar! She's loving and awesome, but isn't that the point of grandchildren??? All the fun, and none of the hassle! I think you peeps are being a little dramatic on the "mean" front...

As someone who just ended a live-in relationship, I can say.... It is nice to have the house to myself again!!!

I'm currently on day 2 of a whopping 23 days of houseguests. My husband's friend is here for 9 days, and then the day he leaves, my father-in-law and another of my husband's close friends fly in from overseas to stay for 2 weeks. I love them all, but as an introvert who requires a good deal of quiet "me" time and personal space (and in a not so spacious house with only 1.5 baths), I think I might well lose my sanity by the end of the month. On the bright side, I've never been so excited to come in to work every day...

I think grandmas can say that because they know the kid doesn't understand it!!!
Geesh, ease up.

you all must be from the generation that parents revolved around the kids instead of the other way around. If you got ribbons just for showing up - you're part of that generation.

I think the longest a friend has stayed is a week or so ... Despite my particular ways, I try to relax my rules a little, while letting them know what's important to me. If I slip their shoes into the closet once or twice, they get the idea. I also encourage my guests to make themselves at home--really! It's exhausting playing host or hostess for more than a day or two, so I find it simpler to let them come and go as they please. And, if your friend is a good guest, I'd hope they pitch in or follow your lead as much as they can!

My boyfriend and I live together and his mother is currently visiting us for a month and a half. She is a wonderful, smart, fun woman but it can be difficult as I have a job that requires me to be friendly and accomodating to my many business partners every single day and it can be challenging to have to be "up" at home as well. Additionally, we are the only ones she knows well in town and so when we are home we are always together and showing the sights of the city. Additionally, we only have one useable shower right now and so that is inconvenient to say the least. I thought I was being a selfish beast but seeing these other comments helps - a bit.

Thank you to the posters who made me feel better about being grateful for the time I get the house to myself...even from my beloved husband :)

Tell me something. If so many of us enjoy living alone, why do so many people NOT live alone?

My husband and I are lucky to have space for guests, we like to entertain and we are 100% ok with sleepovers. But there have been a couple of guests who have definitely overstayed their welcome.

Two years ago, my husband's (good, well-intentioned, bachelor) friend stayed with us for a NYE party we threw at our home. The party was on a Friday night, and this guest decided that he would come into town (3 hour drive) on Wednesday to “help out.” While he did do a couple of things to help out, mostly he distracted my husband from other party-prep tasks he was in charge of, and I had to spend additional time making sure that the guest was fed/watered appropriately and that he hadn’t totally wrecked the guest quarters (bachelor manners…yecchhh). This guy then extended his stay, where he was originally supposed to leave on Sunday, until Tuesday...afternoon. Almost a full week of this guy! I was LIVID and always cite him as an example of being overly accommodating to guests coming back to bite you (not all the time, but it can happen).

I'm just getting over being sick for about 2 weeks, during which time we had a (long-time-planned) overnight guest stopping through on their way across the country. Hopefully the slack he had to pick up will be a reminder to him the next time we have guests: stuff doesn't just happen magically!

I agree with you and grandma! But it doesn't mean you don't love the people that visit and can't wait for them to come back. It helps when your house guests are frequent guests and know your house habits, or are the pitching in types that will empty your dishwasher for you or do other random chores. If you stay at our house for a visit and empty the dishwasher, you can pretty much move in and I will not mind. ;)

I don't think it was mean of grandma to say that at all. I just went through this situation myself. I have lived alone for years and have my house just as I want it, too. Brand new carpet upstairs and I want shoes off inside - friend doesn't always remove shoes. I too, keep the lid down on the toilet - friend doesn't. I also like everything clean - friend doesn't seem to care as much. Not to mention that said friend ate all my fruit, drank my wine, didn't bring shampoo, a hairdryer, socks, bandaids and well, as much as I love her dearly, I was happy to see her go home. She's already talking about next year and bringing her husband and toddler over - to my house with a dog who does not like kids - I might just have to be out of town. I'm glad for this post - made me feel a bit more "normal" seeing I am not the only one who feels this way.

Oh and I forgot to add, went into my private office, got on my computer and was using it during the night as I slept. I felt a bit odd about that given I have all my private files in that room and on the computer. Sometimes a hotel helps keep friendship alive!

I had a house guest for 2 years. Seriously. And after I divorced I never heard from him or his family ever again.

That said I do enjoy having guests to stay, but really three or four days is fun and more is tiring. I need my privacy and my house is small.

Totally understand this post, as much as you may love someone there comes a time when you need them gone.

I think it's different for everyone. I know some people who have no problem having guests in their home indefinitely, but I really need my own private space to recharge and it starts to grate on me after a week. However, I'm pretty sure my mother would be perfectly content if my boyfriend and I moved in with her permanently. Haha. So, it all depends on your personality and who the guest is, I guess.

How nice of you to post this site now......and make me feel less of a bitch! Thank you!
And I agree, to the ones that are angry with Grandma......lighten up!

Perhaps Ben Franklin's advice could be a good benchmark, "Fish and visitors stink after three days." :)

Grandma, though it had a ribbon of truth in it, WAS TEASING!

My own mother used to say that to the kids, but added, "Now I get to look forward to your NEXT visit!"
...and I don't think she meant THAT either.

Lighten up, Grandma haters.

Unless you have a maid, and can afford to entertain guests endlessly (I used to), I believe a guest is someone who stays overnight. They can relax, enjoy, pretend they are staying at a hotel. But if a visitor (or family visiting) stays for several days or even more than a week, I believe they should give a helping hand. Offer to help with dinner, set the table, do the dishes. Offer to prepare a meal. Contribute to the grocery bill. And don't make any particular demands as if you are a spoiled brat!! I love having visitors. But some are just too much. To come over for the second time with your family to stay for a week, hardly contribute while you have a good job and I am broke, have a wife that disappears with the kid every evening, buys food for herself that she doesn't share and then raids my cupboards and fridge for my best food. Complain that I have to reboil water for tea, because there were some scales in my pot. Have her daughter make drawings all over my expensive sheets on their bed with a pen that was not in the room to start with. Not even offer compensation. The wife never apologised. Disappear (the wife) when I have a dinner party, apart from sitting down 20 min to eat. Now when I was in their country staying over at other friends, they not even invited me for dinner. Tea and cookies... They moved to a bigger place. So I can visit you next time? Oh no, the extra room will be an office. Yes, just come for a holiday here with your bitchy wife who pretends she is staying at a hotel, and I have to serve a great meal at my expense 3 times a day...
Thankfully I have there friends who are great guests. And I myself am always thankful when invited, give a present, cook dinner, take them out, contribute, ... And make sure I am not overstaying my welcome. Never assume, not even with the best of friends, that you are not overstaying your welcome.

Best way to get rid guests who overstay their vist...put on some Celine Dion music and play it nonstop.

I would expect a guest to eat my fruit and drink my wine (though nice guests bring a bottle or two) and i guess I don't see the harm in someone using my hairdryer, but wanting socks and shampoo would be a little much.

wow. What a crappy thing to say to your guest, much less your grandchild. You can THINK it, but you shouldn't SAY it.

And also, this entire post seems like a passive-aggressive way of talking about your close friend behind her back, masquerading as a AT post.

I thought Grandmom's comment was hilarious. Don't be so literal people!

One tip on visiting started by my husband's family who would descend on us each Thanksgiving: I ask ahead what our sleeping/bed situation will be, and bring my own sheets and towels so I don't burden my host with added laundry when I leave. That's my least favorite part of guests - making up the bed and washing their dirty, wet towels after they leave. The host always says "you don't have to do that!" but I know they secretly love it because I did when my in-laws extended that courtesy to me. (It's more difficult if you're flying somewhere I realize...)

That Grandma rocks! Obviously, she too, has a life!

On the guest front: I have been a guest, and have had guests.
A client of mine put it best one day:
" We are happy when they arrive ...and we are glad when they leave!"

That, to me. Says it all! :)

I had a close friend (I mean close like a sister) stay with me when she was recovering from a heart attack. I enjoyed her visit so much, my lip was stuck out the day she was well enough to go back to her place. Although I was glad that she was better, I did not really want her to go, but it was for the better because we both like our own spaces. We are solitary creatures and my friends are much, much more important than my house, but I too, love my privacy and my way of doing things. I don't feel bad when I'm relieved to see people go, because I know what I'm about and that I will open my doors for my friends to stay with me if need be.

I love having people stay with me, and I feel bereft when they leave. I'm not a great host, and my guests shop, cook and clean. They can't mind too much as they always return, and I'm delighted to have them.

What does annoy me is people who invite their friends (with whom I am unacquainted) to stay at my place.

Wow, lots of opinions and bad guest stories here. Generally we are both pretty solitary people and use our space as a refuge, so really aren't keen on guests for any length of time, even though we do have a guest "suite" (guest room and bathroom) on our first floor (while we have a master "suite" with our bedroom, office, and bathroom on the second floor). I guess we've been really lucky--our guests know how to behave like guests and don't take advantage or overstay their welcome, and we do the same when we visit. That said, as I get older, I really like the idea of staying in a hotel when we visit people--I just like my own space and not having to worry about stuff like strange sleep ing issues (I have insomnia and my husband is always up at 4 am).

Our rule is...4 sleeps and out. Everyone should have a life. Grandparents included.

Don't feel bad, I had a mean grandma too.

My husband and I who are both introverted live in a small house with only one bathroom and no guest room so visitors are far and few :-)

Good grief, people. It's perfectly normal to be glad that a visit is coming to an end. However, a smart person knows better than to actually tell the departing guest, "glad you're leaving." Just because you say it with a smile doesn't make it appropriate.

I have a 48-hour limit on people staying with me for my own sanity. But! If I have an extra room and if they respect house rules there's a big difference. But this situation is not a guest situation. I'd be charging by the night to encourage her to get her stuff together at her own place. I certainly wouldn't make a staying-on-the-sofa situation comfortable for someone who had a house in the same city. There's no good reason for it.

when guests become pests..haha. i have a pest now! im a neat freak n my guest is a slob. ive also been forced to reside in the opposite myself staying with a slob. both terrible situations. im trying to be rude n just blatantly say "dude, GARBAGE IS IN THE KITCHEN!! NOT WHEREVER YOUR TRASH FALLS!!" however, for now im refraining. This guest usually has a one or two day limit with me..anymore n..i dont think i would have a brother anymore. on the other hand, staying a slobs house was difficult as well. everytime she would leave i would hurry and clean as much as i could get done while she was gone n when she returned i would tell her i thought she needed a break. worked like a charm. SO glad im not renovating anymore!!

trying NOT to be rude*